When new parents bring their newborns home from the hospital, it's amazing to see how careful they are with their babies. They treat their new little ones as though they were made of glass. When my son was born, his father was so afraid to handle the baby, because he thought that he would drop Aiden. After much assurance from me that it would be just fine, he finally got the hang of it.
Babies aren't as fragile as some people might think. Sure, they're wobbly and have little muscle control, but those little ones are really quite resilient. But as I mentioned before, they are very, very in tuned with their environments. They take their cues from Mom and Dad.
For example, a friend of my son's father wanted to hold Aiden, but I was pretty iffy about it. Aiden took his cues from me on whether or not that person was good or not. He sensed my apprhension, fear and general protectiveness, and in turn began to fear the one who wished to hold him. He did what any baby would then do: Cry.
Babies need to handled in an environment of no fear, no violence and with lots of gentleness. Another example: I got in a fight with an old boyfriend when Aiden was about 11 months old. The old boyfriend was a violent person (which is why we broke up) and unexpectedly popped back into my life. Aiden watched as my ex hurt me repeatedly, screaming "NO!" the whole time. After the incident (the police were called and the ex will never come near us again, thank the Goddess), my son's father, Steve and I noticed that Aiden was afraid to let him near me, and would stand between us and push his father away from me. It's been almost a year since that incident, and Aiden is started to lose a bit of his fear now, but it's been a long, uphill battle to get to where we are now.
You should NEVER ever let a child see abuse like I mentioned above. You
should NEVER EVER hurt a child. If you or someone you know is in a
situation that is harmful to them or their child get help. There are
hundreds of services and organizations that can help you get out of a domestic
violence situation. There is no excuse for domestic violence, ever.
