Dahpimpsta.Bagelz.Bigfoot.Me.Myself.I.Bigdeezy.TallBitch.Jew.Balla
Life through the eyes of the tall one they call BigFoot
Look at my tall goofy ass on my WEBCAM.
Past WebJournals: [March 8-11] [March 12-15] [March 16-19] [March 20-23] [March 24-27] [March 28-31]
Past WebJournals: [April 1-4] [April 5-8]
4/12/01
Wise words of Quincy, “I live on a planet ruled by carrots!
Wise words of Deezy, “Dude press the any key!”
Wise words of Cody, “Arf bark, gag gag bark!”
Mission of the Day #2: Walk into a random stranger‘s home and ask the first person you see if they know who Andy Dick is.
People now a days just have no common decency. It seems as if I try to be the polite gentlemen in front of ladies, opening doors, putting my sweater in a gutter for them to walk across. Yet it goes to show you that not everyone is the same. For instance, I was walking into the donut shop today, and a young lad walked out right in front of me, and didn’t hold the door open, yet I held it open for the next person. It’s a simple favor to ask, just as it is decent to ask your family to put the toilet seat down when they are done. What is this world coming too??
Once again my house is the kick-back chill place for the weekend, but it's all good in mah heezy fo sheezy, thanx to all the beautiful girls for chillen, yet no thanx to the skeeeeeza I had to kick out, Booo tooo youuuu!!
Today we played Chaminade in a brutal tennis match, as we are still trying to survive and get an at-large playoff birth. Luke and I seemed to just dominate like always, and played our best tennis ever, although he wore it in the face. Well during our second match, we ended up losing our tennis balls and the opposing players asked one of their buds to throw some balls to them. This dumb asian seemed to think it was funny to hold our game up and pretend he didn’t have a ball hiding in his hand, so me being Dustin, I yelled at him to “Throw the fuckin ball now!” Sorry for the language, but it invokes the feeling put forth towards the dim-witted asian. While we ended up getting the balls and the match resumed, I notcied the chubby block headed asian mocking me, yet he didn’t think I was watching. But folks, I was watching and proceeded to bitch him out and scare him a bit by yelling vulgar language. Later as we were about to end the match, it seemed as the block headed asian got the other tennis players to stand around him so I wouldn’t do anything. To this I laugh, as he thinks he can walk the walk and talk the talk, but he tripped on the way and ate shit!
Dustin is free of disease, and has no more symptoms because I am too strong for sickness, so lick it!!
I forgot to mention this last week, but the one we all call “Eyeball” has done something no one would think could happen. As I was leaving my government class to tennis, I happen to see “Cyclops” walking to her class to my right. I knew she would see my tall jolly green giant ass, and as I guessed, she did. These were the exact words out of her mouth, “Hey biiiigggg, I’m sorry Dustin, I will call you Dustin from now on, I know you don’t like Bigfoot, be my friend.” OH mah god, it was the most amazing thing that was said to me like ever. Eyeball apologized and I almost shed a tear, it was great, yet for the last week I haven’t seen her so maybe it was a fluke and she is playing mind games, oh dear.
According to Mini-Russin, the Penis Toes don’t resemble Penises, yet she doesn’t understand what a Penis is!!!
4/11/01
Wise words of Weaver, “If it looks like a plum and smells like a plum........its a plum!
Wise words of Ryano, “Comma comma comma comma commalin, You come and go You come and go!”
Wise words of the Chicken Bowl Fortune Cookie, “You will have good luck!
Mission of the Day #1: Kick a stranger in the groin, and say “My imaginary friend threatened me to do it!”
As you can see I’ve added another section to the WebJournal, and that is the Mission of the Day, which if you choose to accept will add to the joy and excitement in your life. So I will come up with an interesting mission everyday for your pleasure. If you think of a mission and would like it to be posted, just give me an e-mail, and I will gladly post it.
It seems as if the Chicken Bowl people have the greatest food, yet the fortunes in their cookies seem not to work. A couple weeks ago I recieved a fortune that I will be travelling and coming into a fortune. No shit Shirlock, I got the fortune cookie to tell me my fortune, not to tell me I will have a fortune, I want to know details, time, place. Yet today was the vaugest fortune ever, “You will have good luck!” What kind of shit is that, geeeeeeezz, I will have good luck, what a thought there. Also they give lucky numbers, and I played those on the lotto online, yet I didn’t win, so in what way are they lucky? At least the cookies are tasty, ehhhh?
So I take a trip to the doctor’s office today, because it seems as if the people I’m friends with are coming down with mono. When I look in retrospect of last week, I notice myself sleeping after school, swollen lymph nodes, and nauseated. Those symptoms are those of mono, so I decided to take my sick ass too the doctor. While I chilled in one of the rooms, I played around with the pulse taker thingy, and some of the numerous expensive toys in the room. I know most of the rooms at the various doctor offices are different, but while your sitting on the bed of steel, never open the drawers that are under your feet. They have stuff for hemroids and stuff, it’s so sick. I then stopped my snooping around as the doctor came in to give me blood tests. They took my blood ran some tests, and the results shall be in tommorow or Friday, so then I will be able to update others if I’m a walking disease or not.
Shame to those who gave me this disease, for I hope you rot in hell, especially our bitter assistant tennis coach who has mono also, and decided not to take us eating after our match today. For this will be severe consequences, cuz when Dustin is hungry he shall be fed, or else. Although we went durbin offroad with the rental vans after our tennis match in Moorpark, that doesn’t make up for not taking us to eat, cuz our coach was too tired out over mono. Carlo is now the whiner of the day! Blahhhhh to him! Fight through it and sack up for christ sake.
The Penis Toes say that they are one step closer to the edge and they are about to BREAK!
4/10/01
Wise words of Allen, “Stop being such a drama queen!
Wise words of Wes, “What‘s up with all these people getting mono!“
Wise words of Jenn, “What!
I was faced with the shadows of death today as a damn trucker was being a damn jerk. We were coming back from lunch today and made a right on Stow going towards the school, and a big rig was ahead of us. Well Joe was getting a little grumpy with the trucker ahead of us creeping along, so as the truck drifted left, we failed to notice the wide turn sign and his big blinking signal. It drifted left to make a wide right turn, yet Joe proceeded to pass the trucker on the right, coming to a halting stop as the trucker was turning right. We screeched right into the truck and totalled the car, it was crazy, Joe and I died, Luke and Jenn both broke there legs, but then again that is what could’ve happened. Well as the rubber smoked tires filled the car up, we proceeded on like nothing happened. I’ve concluded that truckers are crazy, and if we made eye contact, the trucker who we will say is Trucker Bob, probably would’ve CB’d his buddies to kill us. Crazy episode indeed!
Travelling home from the Buena Tennis match today was a long ride. Before we waited for Wick to get into the van, I proceeded to pee on his door, which I don’t think he knows about, and rumors are that he in fact touched the wee-wee to see what the substance was. Shame to Wick for touching a curious liquid. We travelled on over to the nearby McDonals for the eighty-nine cent Chicken McNuggets. While the service was brutally slow, we eventually got our food, yet these freaking queer-monkeys ahead of us had to stare at me, and of course my ESP read their mind, as I knew the tweaked out girl in the group was eggin to ask how tall I was. I told her, and she followed with a series of dumb-founded questions that I mearly laughed at. Another funny thing being that McDonalds ran outta chicken mcnuggets while we were there, how the hell does a restaurant like McDonalds run outta mcnuggets on the day where they are half price?? I am dissatisfied with McDonalds and am on protest against it. They might as well kill a cow and serve the cow over the counter. Moooooooo!!!
Penis Toes say, “Blah-Bloo-Blee-Bloop!”
4/09/01
Wise words of Chantelle, “Sniffle Sniffle!"
Wise words of the other Dustin, “Luke is retarded!“
Wise words of Deezy, “I agree with you other Dustin, he is retarded!“
I still have a persistant itch all through out my body due to the stupidity of me playing football with no top. I therefore have paid the consequence of itching myself 24-7. Screw the grass that I’m allergic too, I never did anything to you, god damn nature.
Took a trip to the mall today, and I found this awesome little toy in Sam Goody, in which I accidently walked out with, but it was the sample item, so they won’t miss it that much. It is this plastic container with goop in it, and when you press it down in the container it makes a fart sound. I have already mastered controlling the pitches of the sounds of different farts. I’m still working on the lengths of the sounds, for it is tough to know how long the putty will vibrate with air pockets. Great invention indeed, but seriously who makes these toys?? Is a guy sitting around one day farting himself, and then Blamo thinks of putting putty in a cup and making the fake but real fart sounds...who are these people?
Speaking of passing the gas, I know that girls aren’t fans of the fluctuation of the sphincter, but hey who is? So we were chillen in English, and by we I mean the whole class of thirty. Ziem Dog, the teacher, goes up to a student during our quiet reading period, and makes a joke about him not graduating, and he responds with a traditional thumbs down and a fart sound. You must understand, in this class, one animal or weird sound is followed by others making weird sounds. So therefore two other kids made farting sounds with their mouth, yet Dustin, that’s me, deciding to make the sound with his ass, causing a ruckus of laughter, as even the teacher commented saying, “Dustin do you want to go to the bathroom?”...muhahah it was good. It was all for shits and giggles, not be sickening.
I haven't shaved for like 5 days, I feel dirty and like a bum, but hey, Mach 3 razors are god damn expensive. I feel like BigFoot..hairy like animal!!!
Today we get home from the mall, and we were in the other Dustin’s truck. Luke had to get home, so the other Dustin let him drive his truck back home to get his dad to follow him back over to drive him to the game, uhuhuh out of breath I am. So I proceed to kick the other Dustin’s ass in pool a million times over, as I now am the God of Pool to my friends. Meanwhile I decide to go shoot at the gym, and Dustin still waits. I finally notice the other Dustin’s truck chillen outside, and as he moans arrrghhhhh he goes to his truck and says Bye. I elave go to the gym and get back, an hour has passed yet we drive up to 6-7 people outside my house. It seems as Luke was back to his dumb English ways leaving the keys in the truck, yet everything was locked. Funny thing is the other Dustin’s truck has shaved door handles, and the hidden switch to his locks just in case of a situation like this, is broken, muhahah I saw twenty times. Triple A comes, can’t do anything, so I come up with the idea, just try to break in the back window. I let Zach do the dirty work as I was taking care of my girl Chantelle, and they got it open. I love these instances of stupidity, where would I be without them?
I have gotten requests from a certain girl that she wants the Penis Toes...hmmm interesting!