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Giles: Demons after money? Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin. No one has any standards any more.
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Giles: You’re not real. They’re in my head. Making me see what I want to see.
Xander: Than why would they make you see me.
Giles: Good point, let’s go.
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Cordelia: One of these days you’re gonna wake up in a coma!
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Joyce: You died?
Buffy: Only for a while!
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Willow: I haven't been a geek for a very long time.
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Giles: That's fascinating.
Anya: Only to an extremely bored person.
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Tara: They're just like Giles right?
Buffy: Yes they're horrible and mean!
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Anya: I know why more about demon dimensions than Giles.....well I do!
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Giles: cause it's a snot monster form outer space. I did not just say that.
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Willow: "All of a sudden it was gloom adn doom and outlawing of human triangles."
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Willow: "Go school! it's your birthday!"
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Buffy: "I'm frieked out."
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Buffy: "Dawn's safe with Spike"
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Xander: thats cos he got hit with the Buffinator. Now he's powerless
Buffy: You think?
Oz: No question. He'll be back
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Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No, because you're very very old and it's gross
Giles: Well, before I succumb to the ravages of old age, why don't you tell me what brings you here.
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Buffy: Just don't want to deal right now.Taking a little holiday from dealing, happily vacationing in the land of not coping.
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Luke: Metal can't kill me
Buffy: Well you forgot about one thing
Luke: Whats that?
Buffy: Sunrise (buffy throws metal at window)
Luke: AAARRRRHGGGGGHHHHH...huh?
Buffy: Its not for another 9 hours moron
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Buffy (To Cordy) : That works out great. If you don't tell any one I'm the Slayer, I won't tell any one you're a moron!
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Cordelia: You really are campaigning for Bitch of the Year award aren't you ?
Buffy: As defending champion, are you nervous ?
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Buffy (to Willow): What you think hes too old because he's a senoir? Please, my boyfriend just had a bicentenial .
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Willow: "Well... When I'm with a boy I like it's hard for me to say anything cool, or witty, or at all. I - I can usually make a few vowel sounds. And then I have to go away..."
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Oz: "Who *is* that girl?"
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Oz: "You're just impressed by any pretty girl who can walk and talk."
Devon: "She doesn't have to talk."
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Willow: "You know, I never really thanked you."
Oz: "Oh, yeah, please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red. Have to bail. It's not pretty."
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Willow: "Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to
go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me. Or I can just
get on with my life."
Buffy: "Good for you."
Willow: "Well, I didn't choose yet."
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Willow: "love makes you do the wacky"
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Cordelia: "I need an explanation"
Xander: "About what?"
Cordelia: "Wesley"
Xander: "in breeding":
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Buffy: "Giles, I am sixteen years old, I don't want to die"
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Cordelia: Check out Giles the next generation
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Xander: Avenger assemble
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Xander: I am undercover
Buffy: Not under much.
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Buffy: Great thing about being the slayer. Kicking ass is comfort food
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These are from SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
Angel: When you first wake up it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
Buffy: It's weird to think of you going through that.
Angel: It's weird to go through.
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Buffy: Nope. Why? Are you jealous?
Angel: Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.
Buffy: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
Angel: I am not jealous.
Buffy: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.
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Buffy: Then if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the 'idiot' part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander: Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.
Buffy: I fear you.
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Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business.
Xander: Y'know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.
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Willow: This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place.
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Xander: Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
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Buffy: And he broke Cordy's heart? Thus possibly proving its existence.
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Angel: Cordelia told me the truth.
Xander: That's gotta be a first.
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Cordelia: It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
Xander: Karma!
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Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.
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Buffy: Okay, Giles, just remember, 'I feel a thing, you feel a thing...' But personalize it.
Giles: Personalize it?
Buffy: She's a technopagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop.
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Giles: I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.
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Giles: Did you just say 'date'?
Jenny: You noticed that, huh?
From LIE TO ME
Cordelia: And I know the peasants were all depressed...
Xander: I think you mean 'oppressed'.
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky.
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Xander: Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing somethin' wrong, I wanna know. 'Cause it gives me a happy!
Buffy: Mm, I'm glad someone has a happy.
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Xander: This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends! Jeez, doesn't she know any fat guys?
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Buffy: So. What'd you do last night?
Angel: Nothin'.
Buffy: Nothing at all. You ceased to exist?
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Ford: Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire.
Buffy: What? Whating a what?
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Willow: No! I just... I'm not supposed to have boys in my room.
Angel: I promise to behave myself.
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Angel: I guess I need help.
Willow: Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old and you already know stuff.
Angel: I want you to track someone down. On the 'Net.
Willow: Oh! Great! I'm so the 'Net girl.
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Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.
Willow: What?
Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this.
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Giles: You are not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you?
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Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?
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Willow: The Lonely Ones?
Angel: Vampires.
Xander: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.
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Giles: A book! It took one of my books!
Jenny: Well, at least someone in this school is reading.
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Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.
From THE FRESHMAN
Buffy: I like books... I just don't want to take on too much. Do they have an introduction to the modern blurb?
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Willow: Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's like world-renowned.
Buffy: How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first?
Willow: Yes, first there's the painful nowning process.
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Willow: "Images of Pop Culture." This is good. They watch movies and TV shows, even commercials.
Buffy: For credit?
Willow: Isn't college cool?
Buffy: How did I miss that one?
Willow: You did sort of wait until the last minute with your course selection.
Buffy: Sorry, Miss I-chose-my-major-in-play-group.
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Girl: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Buffy: Uh, you know, I meant to, and then I just got really busy.
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Willow: I've heard about five different issues, and I'm angry about each and every one of them.
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Willow: It's just, in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon. You really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence... It's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and, and spurt knowledge into... That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.
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Willow: Ooh, boyfriend! It's my on-campus boyfriend.
Buffy: Oh, no, I forgot to pick mine up. Line's probably really long now, too.
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Buffy: Gentleman of leisure? Isn't that just British for unemployed?
Willow: Uh-huh. He's a slacker now.
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Buffy: I can't wait till Mom gets the bill for these books. I hope it's a funny aneurysm.
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Buffy: Yeah, you know, 'cause everyone's got a brain. Or... almost everyone.
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Buffy: You know, I was just wondering - Professor Walsh isn't planning on yelling at me and kicking me out of the class, is she?
Riley: It's not in her lesson plan.
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Eddie: Did you lose your way?
Buffy: Me? Oh, no, no, no - I'm just going to Fisher Hall, which I know is on the... Earth planet. Recently voted "Most Pathetic", uh-huh.
Eddie: Well, I'm lost, and I have a map, so...
Buffy: Ooh, I come in second.
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Buffy: I still feel like carrying around a security blanket.
Eddie: Of Human Bondage. Have you ever read it?
Buffy: Oh, I'm not really into porn. I mean, I'm just trying to cut way back.
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Willow: You made a friend? Good for you.
Buffy: Thanks, Mom.
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Vamp girl: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look... purple.
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Buffy: And you are?
Sunday: Oh, I'm Sunday. I'll be killing you here in a minute or so.
Buffy: You know, that threat gets more frightening every time I hear it.
Guy Vamp: Uh, are we gonna fight, or is there just gonna be a monster sarcasm rally?
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Buffy: Is America nice? I hear it's nice.
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Buffy: College is good.
Xander: Okay, once more, with even less feeling.
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Xander: When it's dark, and I'm all alone, and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think "What would Buffy do?" You're my hero. Okay, sometimes when it's dark, and I'm all alone, I'd think, "What is Buffy wearing?"
Buffy: Can that be one of those things you never, ever tell me about?
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Xander: You up for a little reconnaissance? Buffy: You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?
Xander: No, that was the renaissance.
Buffy: Oh. I've had a really long week.
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Buffy: Oh! That's my skirt! You're never gonna fit in it with those hips. We have to kill them.
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Sunday: Say, don't I know you from... beating the crap out of you?
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Willow: Buffy wouldn't just take off. That's just not in her nature. Except for that one time she disappeared for several months and changed her name, but there were circumstances then. There's no circumstances.
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Willow: How can you be so calm?
Oz: Long, arduous hours of practice.
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Xander: Do we hug?
Oz: I think we're too manly.
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Buffy: When you look back at this - in the three seconds it'll take you to turn to dust - I think you'll find the mistake was touching my stuff.
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Giles: Let's find the evil, and fight it together. Buffy: Great. Thanks. We'll get right on that.
Giles: The evil is this way?
From INTERVENTION
Buffy: Hey, Dawn? If there's any dishes in your room, let's have 'em before they get furry and we have to name them.
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Buffy: Weird love is better than no love.
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Buffy: A Guide, but no water or food. So it leads me to the sacred place and then a week later it leads you to my bleached bones?
Giles: Buffy, really. It takes more than a week to bleach bones.
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Buffy: So, how does it start?
Giles: I...jump out of the circle, jump back in, and, and, shake my gourd.
Buffy: Hey, I think I know this ritual. The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the Hokey-Pokey and to turn themselves around-
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Buffy Robot: Xander! And… Anya! How's your money?
Anya: Fine! Thank you for asking.
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Buffy Robot: Do I look hot to you?
Spike: Always.
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Anya: Buffy's boinking Spike.
Willow: Oh. Well, Tara's right, grief can be powerful and we shouldn't judge -
Tara: What are you, kidding? She's nuts!
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Buffy Robot: Angel's lame. His hair goes straight up and he's bloody stupid.
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Anya: We're just kinda thrown by the, you having sex with Spike.
Buffy: The who whatting how with huh?
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Xander: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled-
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike, but I'm starting to think you are.
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Buffy Robot: Say, look at you! You look like me! We're very pretty.
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Xander: Spike must have had her built so he could program her to…
Buffy: Oh God.
Willow: Yikes. Imagine the things-
Buffy: No! Stop imagining! All of you!
Xander: Already got the visual.
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Buffy Robot: You're right. He's evil. Killing him is the only way. We're the Slayer and that's what we do. But you should see him naked.
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Dawn: We're safe. Right. And Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with.
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Spike: Buffy - the other… the not-as-pleasant Buffy. Something happened to Dawn it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her being in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did. (AWWWWWWWWW!)
From TOUGH LOVE
Buffy: No. I'm sorry I missed the lecture. Was it good? I mean, I'm sure it was...
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Xander: Honey, old saying: "A watched customer never buys."
Anya: They would if they were patriotic.
Xander: Okay, I'm going in. Patriotic?
Anya: Yes. I've recently come to realize there's more to me than just being human. I'm also an American.
Giles: I suppose you are, in a matter of speaking. You were born here. Your mortal self.
Anya: That's right, foreigner.
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Xander: Ahn, how 'bout we try being a bit less prejudiced and a bit more inclusive? Not us, just you.
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Xander: And that's cool too. Whatever you choose, you've got my support. Just think of me as...as your... You know, I'm searching for 'supportive things' and I'm coming up all bras. So. Something slightly more manly preferably, think of me as that. Seriously, whatever you need.
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Buffy: I try. My foot's not used to being put down. I want you to do it. Can't you be the foot-putting-downer?
Giles: No, Buffy, I don't think so.
Buffy: Please? Pretty please? C'mon, your feet are way bigger than mine! I mean, you're so much more a grown-up than me. She needs an authority figure, a strong guiding hand. She'll listen to you--
Giles: Just like you always have?
Buffy: I listen.......I do.
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Willow: And I'm a big fan of school. You know me, I'm all: 'Go school, it's your birthday'! Or something to that effect.
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Willow: Sure it is! I'd totally be blowing off classes if I was in Dawnie's shoes.
Tara: Sweetie, you wouldn't blow off class if your head was on fire.
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Tara: No, please, if I... I mean, tell me if I said something wrong. Otherwise I know I'll say it again, probably often and in public.
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Willow: Well I took Psyche 101 -- I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation right before the final -- but I know what a Freudian slip is.
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Spike: I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil.
Dawn: Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm not evil but I don't think I can be good.
Spike: Well, I'm not good and I'm okay.
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Willow: Yeah, I know. But it's a whole night and I don't think I can sleep without her.
Anya: You can sleep with me. You know, that came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head.
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Glory: Did anybody order an apocalypse?
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Spike: So, you're saying a powerful and mightily pissed-off witch was planning to go out and spill herself a few pints of God blood until you...explained?
Buffy: You think she'd...? No. I told Willow, fighting Glory'd be suicide...
Spike: I'd do it. Right person. Person I loved. I'd do it.
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From SPIRAL
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Anya: Piano!
Xander: Right. Piano. Because that's what we used to kill that big demon that one time. No, wait. That was a rocket launcher. Anh, what are you talkin'?
Anya: We should drop a piano on her. It always works for that creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running from that nice man with the speech impediment.
Giles: Yes, or perhaps we could paint a convincing fake tunnel on the side of a mountain. Let's keep thinking.
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Ben: You know why I wanted to become a doctor?
Gronx: The flattering drawstring pants?
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Xander: Anybody else a little queasy?
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Dawn: You're not fleeing. You're... moving at a brisk pace.
Buffy: Quaintly referred to in some cultures as the Big Scaredy Run Away.
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Willow: Don't hurt the horsies!
Buffy: We won't. Aim for the horsies.
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Xander: We got company -- and they brought a Crusade!
Wesley: I’m a rogue demon hunter now.
Cordelia: Oh, what’s a rogue demon?
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Cordy: I don't know who you are any more.
Angel: I'm a vampire.....look it up!
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Gunn: Just so we're clear, when we find these vampires. We are gonna kill them this time, right?
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Wes: ............time and space are the best things you can give her.
Cordy: *Comes in shouting and hugs Angel* clothes, clothes....i have new clothes....he brought me clothes!
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Cordy: So what do you think?
Green demon mind reader guy (sorry can't remember his name): I think your friend should rethink the name Harmony.
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Wes: That books is over 12 centuries old.
Harmony: Okay so it's not like I spoilt a new one.
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Harmony: "How can you deprive yourself of the taste, the sensation of rich, warm human blood flowing into your mouth... bathing your toungue.. carressing your throuth with it's sweet sticky..."
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Angel: "I can really. I can just rip his head right off his body, really. I can."
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Angel: " I remember when..*with accent* a few Bob got you a good meal, a bottle, and a tavern wench."
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Cordy: "you're not my friend."
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Angel: You don't smell human.
Doyle: Well, that's a bit rude. As it happens I'm very much human...on my mother's side.
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Doyle: I've been sent. By the Powers That Be.
Angel: Powers that be what?
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Doyle: It's not all about fighting and gadgets and such. It's about reaching out to people. Showing them that there's love and hope still left in this world.
Homeless Woman: Got any spare change?
Doyle: Get a job you lazy sow.
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Cordelia: Well, I better get mingling. I really should be talking to people that *are* somebody. But it was fun!
Angel: It's nice that she's grown as a person.
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Doyle: Instead, you're moping around the dark like some kind of...
Angel: Vampire?
Doyle: Well, I was gonna say slacker...but yeah, to you Mr. Obvious.
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Doyle: Tell her what a great guy I am.
Angel: I barely know you.
Doyle: Perfect. That should make it easier for you then.
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Kate: I can go wherever I want...and you can go to Hell.
Angel: Been there, done that.
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Cordelia: Don't yell like that. You will scare him.
Wesley: Scare him?
Cordelia: Dennis is very sensitive. He's trying to help. He's more a person than a . . .G-H-O-S-T.
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Angel: Three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.
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Wesley: When they went out of business they just left these here?
Cordelia: Yup. Also the desk. We'll share.
Wesley: And when we go out of business we can just leave our stuff for the next guy.
Cordelia: Hey, hey, negative energy boy, with all of our money pooled together we can stay here a long time.
Wesley: Hmm. 20 minutes.
Cordelia: At least.
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Gunn: I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really.
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Man, you just get darker and darker. And the weird thing is, your aura? Beige. (said to Angel by the weird green 'i can read your future when you sing' demon....never can remember his name!)
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Virginia: Hey! Wow. This place is great. I brought champagne. You guys must be so excited in that really dry, suicidal way.
Wesley: Sorry, sweetheart. You just caught us in a moment of... Well...
Cordelia: Reality.
Virginia: Oh that. I avoid that.
Gunn: How do you avoid reality?
Virginia: Money. It cures everything but boredom and food cures boredom, so there you go. Imported chips and packets of cheese.
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Cordelia: Nobody likes a smart-ass rogue demon hunter.
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Cordelia: Something wrong? You stopped yammering.
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Angel: Who were you talking to?
Cordelia: Nobody. And Wesley.
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Cordelia: And, wow, you look half-dead. Which for someone who's completely dead would be...kinda neat?
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Cordelia: Are you sure you're okay? I mean, for a guy who's 200 plus, you're not usually with the bags.
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Wesley: While executing my duties as Watcher in Sunnydale, I did extensive research, specifically on Angel...given his uncomfortable proximity to the Slayer.
Cordelia: He looked pretty comfortable to me.
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Cordelia: Okay, you get to leave now. You're not gonna come in here and accuse Angel like this.
Wesley: Cordelia.
Cordelia: No! I don't care how many files you have on all the horrible things that he did back in the powdered wig days. He's good now. And he is my friend. And nothing you or anyone else can say will make me turn on a friend!
Angel: Cordelia. He's right.
Cordelia: You stake him and I'll cut his head off.
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Angel: I have no memory of doing these things.
Cordelia: Oh, not exactly the confidence inspiring denial I was looking for.
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Cordelia: A glamorous LA life. I get to make the coffee and chain the boss to the bed. Gotta join a union.
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Cordelia: Pleasant...I mean, sleep tight.
Angel: That's pretty much a given.
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Wesley: Where'd you get the police radio?
Angel: Police car.
Wesley: Oh dear!
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Penn: We were to meet in Italy, remember?
Angel: I remember.
Penn: Well, I waited. Hell, I waited until the 19th century. What happened?
Angel: Got held up in Romania.
Penn: Romania. What's in Romania?
Angel: Gypsies.
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Angel: People change.
Penn: We're not people.
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Penn: How does that work exactly? You just wake up one morning and decide, "ok, now I'm good"?
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Penn: You're my real father, Angelus.
Angel: Fine! You're grounded.
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Angel: I was just thinking about how much this place is like where I grew up.
Cordelia: Right. Yeah, I could see that except for the cars and the buildings and the, you know, everything else.
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Angel: And sometimes they change back. The day ever comes that I...
Cordelia: Oh, I'll kill you dead.
Angel: Thanks.
Cordelia: What are friends for?
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From BACHELOR PARTY
Doyle: You know they have trivia games on the Internet now? You can challenge against drunks around the world.
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Doyle: Hey, the only money in my family is underneath the couch cushions.
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Cordelia: You were so.....brave.
Doyle: You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're steppin' on my moment of manliness here.
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Cordelia: I'm just...
Doyle: Surprised?
Cordelia: Grateful.
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Cordelia: So here I am at Le Petit Renard with Mr. Armani, who could keep me in blue boxes for the rest of my life…
Angel: Blue boxes?
Cordelia: Tiffany's! God!
Cordelia: All I can think of is if this wimp saw a monster, he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out the shoe part was giving him too much credit.
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Cordelia: As if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some...badly dressed super hero.
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Cordelia: You know, the first thing he asked? "Are you okay?" I mean, that's like...substance, right?
Angel: Well, there's definitely more to Doyle than meets the eye.
Cordelia: So I've got to kill myself. I swore when I went down this road with Xander Harris, I'd rather be dead than date a fixer-upper again.
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Cordelia: Maybe Doyle does have hidden depths. I mean, really *really* hidden. But depths. And I'm gonna have to buy him a mochaccino for saving my life.
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Cordelia: I was thinking that maybe I haven't been entirely fair to you. Maybe you don't actually have zero potential.
Doyle: Wow, Cordelia. Thanks.
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Cordelia: You two are really married?
Harriet: Were and still, according to the paperwork.
Cordelia: So it was a green card thing?
Harriet: Nope. It was a madly in love, couldn't live without each other kind of thing.
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Richard: You left out the part about him being such a handsome fellow.
Angel: I'm not...
Richard: Oh, you are. Really.
Angel: I'm not Doyle. He is.
Richard: Oh, that's more like it.
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Harriet: I'm definitely the yin to his yang, but it works. He's got a good heart, Francis, just like you.
Doyle: Yeah, maybe. But the container -- can I get a side of bland to go with that bland?
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Doyle: He seems like a nice...friendly...fellow, don't you think?
Angel: Definitely friendly. Only, uh, he seemed a bit...
Doyle: Exactly! I knew he was no good!
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Doyle: I can't go trailing after her intended myself. It just wouldn't look right. Angel, you think you would...
Angel: Yeah. Just don't tell Cordelia. She'll want to charge you.
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Harriet: Stop!
Angel: He's a demon!
Harriet: Well, yeah!
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Doyle: He's a demon? And she's all signed on to be Mrs. Demon? Tell me again how ugly he is.
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Doyle: I knew that nice guy routine was just an act. He's working a spell on her. She's gonna sprout hubcaps from her head or something.
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Harriet: Richard wanted some time alone with Doyle to ask him to his bachelor party.
Cordelia: Bachelor party? Why? Was he afraid he ordered too much beer?
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Uncle John: Let's see. First we greet the man of the hour. Then we drink. Bring out the food. Then drink. Then comes the stripper. Darts. And then we have the ritual eating of the first husband's brains. Then charades.
Brother: Wait. What was that? Charades?
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Harriet: Sometimes I felt like I was one of his students.
Cordelia: That's funny. For a moment, I thought you said one of Doyle's students.
Harriet: It wasn't fun being treated like a third grader, believe me.
Cordelia: Grade third taught Doyle?!...Doyle taught third grade?! The kind with children?
Harriet: Yeah.
Cordelia: Are you sure he wasn't just held back and used that as a cover story?
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Harriet: Francis got his teaching credentials before we even met at the Food Bank.
Cordelia: Okay, soup kitchen. Now that sounds more like the Doyle I've grown to know and revile....You're about to tell me he ran it, aren't you?
Harriet: He was just a volunteer. That's where he got the idea for the whole We Are the World thing. I'm kidding about that part.
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Doyle: Yeah, I take it back!
Richard: Oh. Well. I see. Now I'm not so sure I even want to eat your brains.
Uncle John: Don't be petulant, Richard. You'll eat his brains. You can't take back a blessing. Now apologize to your friend.
Richard: He's right. That was rude. I'd be honoured to eat your brains.
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Cordelia: Well you shouldn't be trying to eat my friend's brains, you horrible ugly demon people!
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Cordelia: Well, someone has to go out there and cheer him up...Oh please. Someone with a heart beat.
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Cordelia: Hi Doyle. Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cuz we already have one of those around the office.
Angel: Hey!
Doyle: Hey!
Cordelia: He can get away with it. He's tall, and look at the way clothes hang on him. But you...
Angel: Okay. I think you've cheered us up enough.
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Cordelia: You can't live in the past. You gotta move on. Let it go. Forget it. Tomorrow's another day. Did I mention letting it go?
Doyle: Twice.
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Cordelia: You'll get through this Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.
Doyle: You think I'm a nice guy?
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TITLE??????
Angel: Mr. "Hey, I'm L.A. Director Shooting a Commercial, So I Must Be The Center Of The Universe" Guy. Like anyone who isn't making it in show business is just a step or ten down the food chain. I mean, hey, all we do is save the world, right? .
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When was the last time Cordy took crap from any of us?
Gunn: Never and the day after never.
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Angel: I mean, walking I get. But power walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird.
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Angel: You know him?
Lorne: Just because I know his name doesn't mean you can't knock him unconscious. Please, continue.
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OVER THE RAINBOW
Cordelia: Angel?......Wesley!.....Mr. Green Mojo Guy's cousin?
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Angel: What, is it out of batteries. Is the thing out of batteries?
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Lorne: Remember when I said I loved this dimension and I'm never, never, never gonna leave? Exactly which "never" did you not understand?
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Fortune teller person: Sometimes the journey is taken simply because it must be taken. That vague enough for ya?
Lorne: Is that what I sound like? Eeesh. No wonder people complain.
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Angel: Lawyers. Don't you people sleep during the day?
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Angel: I wanna go. Bad. Just waitin' for Wes to have that "eureka" moment.
Wesley: EUREKA!
Angel: Oh, thank God.
Lorne: You mean he actually says "eureka"?
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Angel: The sun! Daylight! Quick, somebody hand me a blanket -- hand me a blanket or I'll catch on fire! Why am I not on fire?
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Angel: And I'm not on fire.
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Wesley: And we're all together, too. We didn't even merge into a freakish four-man Siamese twin!
Gunn: That was a risk? How come nobody told me that was a risk?
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Angel: Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?
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Angel: Let's start gathering branches, brush, anything that'll cover the car. Hey, look, there's some over in that patch of sun. I'll get 'em.
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Angel: No problem here. Walkin' in the sun. Do it all the time.
Wesley: Yes, we're all heartily aware that you're not on fire.
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Lorne: Just remember, keep your heads down. Xenophobia kind of a watchword where I'm from. Gunn: I don't get it. Why are they afraid of Xena? I think she's kinda fly.
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Wesley: I used to be horrified by those stories about the Tower of London.
Angel: Wasn't that bad.
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Well these will probably be updated every couple of weeks so if you enjoyed them do check back!