NEWS
ISSUE 1 ISSUE 2 ISSUE 3 ISSUE 4 ISSUE 5
ISSUE FIVE,
5/10/01 CHANGES Alright!
Much has been afoot since last I wrote here. Sorry for the
long delay. I have good news and bad news: Bad
News-
First the bad news. We have just survived a devastating move
where many valuable toys were lost! Several boxes of toys
literally leaped from atop the Toy Mobile and onto the
freeway where motorists helped themselves to the bounty.
(If
you found any toys on the 15 Freeway in San Diego
and would like to return them- please contact me.)
The
picture to the right contains toys that are no longer with
us. Good
News-
We have quadrupled our inventory by replacing most lost
items and buying new ones. More Good
News-
We have now joined forces with a powerful new ally-
David
Baba!!
Once operations are fully established shipping will operate
with an efficiency as never before witnessed!! David Baba is
now our master packer and shipper. Orders that used to take
between 5 months to 1 year to fill will now be reduced
considerably!!! In addition inventory is now stored our
newly purchased hermetically sealed, immaculate sanctuary to
ensure the absolute mintest of mint condition! Bad
News-
We have yet to fully implement our new operating procedures.
In other words, for the next month or so David Baba and I
will be calling each other back and forth saying,
"Did
you ship out that package?"
"No,
I didn't. I thought you were going to ship it."
"Well,
the customer is furious." "Well,
tough $#!T!!" Essentially,
orders that once took a couple of weeks to fill will now
take a couple of months. So please be patient with us. We
are good, very busy people and you won't get burned. You'll
just have to be patient.
:) !!THE BOOTLEG
CHRONICLES!! Joey
McCabe
is a toy dealer around the LA area. Does anybody know him?
He owes me about $700 for over a year now. Anyway, the debt
dates back to a large trade we arranged. As part of the
trade I would buy from him four of the Japanese
Grand
Maximus
Transformers for a good price ($250 each). In order
to acquire the money for the items I crossed the
Mexican boarder and sold my soul to the
Mexican
X0 Militia.
Donkey Boy joined me. We served in the militia until we had
earned half the money for the toys. Unfortunately I became
very ill in the process on the rank
food
they served. Donkey Boy was bad off too and was
going
to die.
I wasn't nearly as lucky. I lived but developed a swollen
collen and had to be on 50mg of
antibiotic
a day. My medical bills total well over $100,000. JoJo James
came to the rescue and was able to revive the dying Donkey
Boy but blamed
me
for his nephew's illness. Racked in
pain,
a month later I finally made it back to my San Diego
house just in time to hear from Joey that the Grand Maximus
Transformers were
stolen
along with around $700
worth of the Transformers
I had given him. Evidentally the thieves were aquantances of
his. Joey refuses to seek any police assistance nor inform
his parents of the event. Instead Joey is taking the law
into his own hands and waits for the day when he will get
medieval on the criminals. He is still seeking information
that will lead to a serious
ass-whooping.
If you
have any information on this alledged crime or know an
individual by the name of John Lungren please contact me at
once.
Even as I
breathed what I assumed was my last breath, I pledged an
oath to help retrieve the contraband Transformers if ever
the occasion presented itself. Using my my militia training
and my extensive education at Mrs. Field's Cookies the crime
has in fact already been solved- although I have yet to
comprehend the solution. Do
YOU know who committed this heinous act? Is the above story
in fact TRUE- or an elaborate tale told to cover the
TRUTH??? FIGHT THE FUTURE TOY SHOWS!!! HEY! We
have been busy attending shows. Does anybody attend the Los
Angeles Comic Shows at the Shrine Auditorium? Well, we been
there. Done that. Our next stop will be the San Diego Comic
Con this July 2001. Let us know if you're attending and
we'll make sure to bring you some goodies. My
film/animation/comic company!
Yes,
you may recall the BotCon'94
Comic
we did as Comic Smorgasbord#1. That was our first
production. Well, we are currently involved with three
ongoing comic series, a BotCon'02 Comic, an interactive
web-extravaganza, a movie and an animated short. For those
of you who are artists, animators or filmmakers and want to
join in on the fun- read on- A CALL TO
ARTISTS!! Yep,
that's where most of my time and energy will be going over
the next year. Also check out: TOY HELL- THE
MAGAZINE !?! Yes, the
rumors are true. There was a very limited run of a Toy Hell
Magazine produced. These magazines were sold at BotCon'99
and the San Diego Comic Con. The contents of the Toy Hell
Mag included translated Japanese PD Transformer manga! PD
Transformers are Super Deformed versions of classic TFs. Two
of the PD episodes included are "Overlord's Lament" and
"Matrix Attack" among others! Also included were, of course,
a illustrated catalog of Toy Hell toys. Okay, I know you
want the PDTF strips and I do plan to eventually share all
of them with you guys. Yep, a new PD TF episode will be up
on the site every month! Yea, but you know how slow things
work around here. Especially with the Donkey Boy stealing me
blind. So- if you want a copy of the TOY HELL MAGAZINE all
you have to do is place an order and I'll include the Toy
Hell Magazine for free. But you must write this phrase when
sending me the payment: "GIMME DAT TOY HELL MAG!" I'll give
you one- if I still have one- I've only got 10 left and no
way am I going to make any more! It was too expensive and
time consuming. GUESS THAT'S IT FOR
NOW Unfortunately
I may never write on these pages again. Several individuals
have expressed anger against me for not sending their toys
in a timely manner. They have plotted against me. They
threatened to lock me away in a fortune cookie factory or
else shoot me with a staple gun or something else too
horrible to tell. Until then I will keep on keeping on and
rage, rage against the dying of the light. -DKN-ry rare
and priceless relic!!!
CLICK
HERE TO ORDER.
This is the
tale of a heinous crime and a near death
experience.
