NEWS
ISSUE 1 ISSUE 2 ISSUE 3 ISSUE 4 ISSUE 5
ISSUE FOUR,
8/24/99 UNICRON -THE
TOY Good
News- Takara
created the prototype for a new Unicron toy and it looks
good! Yeah baby! Bad
News- Takara
makes no official comment on whether this toy will be
produced or not. However sources indicate that it will be
produced but only in a quantity of 2,000. And the price?
Ewww...you really don't want to know. It's going to cost
$500.
Therefore the only 'Unicron' most of us will see will be a
recolored
Transmetal Megatron Dragon
with the misappropriated name 'Unicron' on the box. That's
no Unicron!! Okay, now for a
really big laugh. Try this Link Below. It lists Baby Names.
It actually lists UNICRON as a good BABY NAME!! Check out
what attributes it gives to the name Unicron- among others
there is the characteristic of being 'fussy.' BEAST
MACHINES Okay I was at the
San Diego Comic Con and made it to the Hasbro/Alliance panel
for the sneak peak of the first and second episode of "Beast
Machines." I was a little late but I snuck in with Optimus
Prime (Joe 'Efecss' Eibe) in time to see the second episode.
Very impressive. I thought the show would go downhill but I
have to agree with Bob who said the show will get better and
better. The robot modes of Black Arachnia and Cheetor look
great! Rattrap still hasn't figured out how to transform yet
so I haven't gotten a good look at his robot mode yet.
('Rattrap maximize! Rattrap pretty please
maximize!) Okay, I won't give
away any details of the show but in the second episode the
bots make it back to the surface of Cybertron and confront
Megatron, lord and ruler of new Cybertron. I wasn't too
impressed with the way Megs looks though. He's kind of
floating around without a leg to stand on. Megatron claims
he wiped out every Cybertronian with his virus. (I doubt
it.) His utopia consists of him as the sole sentient
creature leading a planet full of mindless drones. He deems
himself superior because his actions are no longer governed
by emotion like the beasts, but by logic. It's an
interesting idea but it seems to fall apart pretty quickly
as Megatron blows his cool and gets pissed at Primal,
causing him to turn into a huge beast. Beast Machines is
definitely worth watching. However, I really am not sure
where the series is going since Megatron doesn't seem to be
as unstoppable an opponent as he did in episode one. It
makes me wonder if there will be another threat in future
episodes. Maybe ...Unicron? heh, heh. -DKN- !!THE BOOTLEG
CHRONICLES!! 10/17/99
UPDATE!! HEY! I just wanted
to thank everyone for putting up with the NEW
ORDERING SYSTEM
. Also I'm
sorry News updates have been slow coming. There's not much
time to do much work these days! Why? Well, for those of you
who are interested here's what I've been busy
with: My
film/animation/comic company! Yes, you may recall the
BotCon'94
Comic we did as
Comic Smorgasbord#1. That was our first production. Well, we
are currently involved with three ongoing comic series, a
BotCon'01 Comic, an interactive web-extravaganza, a movie
and an animated short. For those of you who are artists,
animators or filmmakers and want to join in on the fun- read
on- A CALL TO
ARTISTS!! Yep, that's where
most of my time and energy will be going over the next year.
Also check out: TOY HELL- THE
MAGAZINE !?! Yes, the rumors are
true. There was a very limited run of a Toy Hell Magazine
produced. These magazines were sold at BotCon'99 and the San
Diego Comic Con. The contents of the Toy Hell Mag included
translated
Japanese PD Transformer manga!
PD Transformers are Super Deformed versions of classic TFs.
Two of the PD episodes included are "Overlord's Lament" and
"Matrix Attack" among others! Also included were, of course,
a illustrated catalog of Toy Hell toys. Okay, I know you
want the PDTF strips and I do plan to eventually share all
of them with you guys. Yep,
a new PD TF episode will be up on the site every
month! Yea, but
you know how slow things work around here. Especially with
the Donkey Boy stealing me blind. So- if you want a copy of
the TOY HELL MAGAZINE all you have to do is place an order
and I'll include the Toy Hell Magazine for free. But you
must write this phrase when sending me the payment: "GIMME
DAT TOY HELL MAG!" I'll give you one- if I still have one-
I've only got 10 left and no way am I going to make any
more! It was too expensive and time consuming. !!VIVA
LA TOY HELL!!
TOY HELL HAS BEEN
BROUGHT BACK FROM THE BRINK OF EXTINCTION! Thanks go primarily
to myself (DKN) and JoJo the Donkey Boy. However, we are now
operating under a STRICT
NEW
SYSTEM and
for it to work it is vital for you to respect it. It will go
into affect on SEPTEMBER
15th 1999. WHAT!?! Okay, I'll give you
the short version of a long and tumultuous tale. What
happened was I ran out of time to run Toy Hell, ship out
toys and reply to inquiries. I am about to make a film so I
soon won't have time for much of anything. But then a
strange creature named JoJo the Donkey Boy magically
appeared and said that he would use his powers to pack and
ship toys for me once a month in exchange for 110% of my
income. I agreed to this generous offer. THE DEAL IS
THIS I often have
regretted the inability to reply to messages in a timely
manner and to inform people whether their packages have been
sent or not. However...not much about that will change. heh,
heh actually that's not true. I have made a
solemn commitment to check Toy Hell correspondence twice a
month on very specific days. On those days I will also carry
with me the shipping list so I can report what has been
shipped and what hasn't. All orders will be
shipped out once a month on the 30th. Therefore payments
must be received prior to the 30th if you want them shipped
out that month. OUR NEW E-MAIL
ADDRESS: You may email this
address at any time but be aware that I will only check this
address on the 15th and 16th of every month. That is the
only time you may reach me about item availability, confirm
orders and get shipping totals. GUESS THAT'S IT FOR
NOW I probably won't be
updating this news section for a long time after this. I try
to keep this section just for brief notes about current
events regarding the Transformer Toy Line and for notes
about Toy Hell. If anybody wants to update this news section
on a monthly basis then let me know. There may be a reward
in it for them. -DKN-ry rare
and priceless relic!!!
CLICK
HERE TO ORDER.
This quick tale
comes from long ago in a bootleg shop far away. Don't worry
I'll finish the last chronicle later. Anyway,
I had stumbled upon a morose soul in a $1 store in downtown
Chicago. The man was JoJo James (I later learned that he was
the uncle of Donkey Boy!). Anyway, the man was suffering
from a bout of mars and promised to lead me to a stash of
bootleg ChromeDomes before his death. The bootleg figures
were evidentially in the shape of a false deity he
worshiped- a strange creature with the body of Chrome Dome
and the head of a discarded Unicron prototype. He led me to
the Chicago catacombs and there I beheld the most horrific
sight imaginable- PeeWee Herman in carnal embrace! I fled
empty handed.
