Setting: Orlando, Florida, in an old funeral home next door to a cemetary.
*NSYNC are the first to arrive because JC wouldn't let them get off schedule.
JC walks up to the door and finds it is locked. On the floor mat, there is a note which reads "The Last Band has the key."
Justin: Dis sucks, yo. Ah hopes we gots Puffy 'n da family wit' us.
Lance: I hope the Dixie Chicks are here. I'll be able to exchange make-up tips.
Joey: I hope the Dixie Chicks are here too.
JC: I hope Marilyn Manson's not here.
Joey: Why not? She's hot.
JC: Hey look, there's a big tour bus with tinked windows and "Backstreet Boys" written on the side.
Joey: I wonder who is in there.
JC: **hitting Joey** Stupid, that's the Backstreet Boys.
The bus comes to a stop in front of the old funeral home and the door opens.
Brian: **first off the bus** Hi! **waving to *NSYNC**
Next off the bus is A.J.: Oh man, **coughing** *NStync.
Nick: Lancey!!! **runs over to Lance and hugs him**
Howie: Nick-ay what are you doing?
JC: **to Brian, both of them trying to ignore Howie, Nick and Lance** So, do you guys have the key?
Brian: No, did you try the door already?
JC: Don't you think I would have tried that already? We should have been inside half an hour ago, I really need to take my early-afternoon nap.
Chris: We might be stuck here for a while, so why don't we walk around and check out the backyard.
Kevin: No diggity.
A.J.: This place used to be a funeral home. I bet it's haunted.
Nick and Lance: Howie, hold me! I'm scared of ghosts. They're so pastey.
Howie: I'll protect you, Nick, but for all I care the ghosts can have Lance.
Lance starts to cry.
JC: Listen up everyone. We're going to see what this house looks like.
They walk around and look through the windows until it is dark.
Brian: It's dark and no one has the key.
JC: This is all your fault.
Justin: Whose fault dat it be?
JC: Everyone's but mine. I'm perfect.
A.J.: It's gonna rain. And we don't want Howie dancing in the rain.
Nick and Lance: Yes we do!
Joey: I'm getting hungry.
JC: There are no hotels around here. We could stay in the mausoleum.
Justin: What be a mau...mauso...uh what JC said.
A.J.: It's a building where dead people are kept!
Nick: Oh no, I'm afraid of dead people. Didn't you ever see The Night of the Living Dead?
Lance: I know, all the dead people have dry skin.
They spend the night in the mausoleum. The next morning they awake to find 5ive arriving at the house.
JC: You are WAY behind schedule. You were supposed to be here yesterday.
Scott: Our flight was delayed. We had to spend the night in the airport.
Kevin: That's better than a mau-**cut off**
Rich: Oh my God, you're Howie! Howie's here everyone! Yay!
J: Why does 'e 'ave to be in the group?
JC: Because you need an ugly/gay member to make the rest of you look better.
A.J.: Yeah. Now I have someone to go with me to the bars.
Lance: Do we get to chose who we room with? I want Howie and Rich in my room.
ABs: No, we 'ave the list. Three to a room and no bandmates room together.
Nick: I want that changed. I always room with Howie.
Brian: You can't, those are the rules.
JC: They're not official because I didn't make them.
Sean: **looking at his watch** It's 10:25, the teenie boppers should be arriving. It's part of the rules, the house has to be surrounded by them all the time.
All: TEENIE BOPPERS!! AAHHHH!!
They run inside.