Gentle readers, Margaret Mitchell was definitely not from the same Mississippi I was born and raised in. I don't care what her biography says.
Why that gal would have been tarred and feathered and locked up in the wood shed for the way she acted.
Chasing after a Yankee or any man in an obvious manner is definitely not tradition.
RULES TO LIVE BY
Rule #1: You let them chase you until you catch em!
Rule #2: You always let them think they are the boss.
Rule #3: You never throw a tantrum in front of them - Why your face would get all red and your makeup would be mussed! And they would have you at a disadvantage. It's much better to do a delicate pout to get your way or see Rule #6 if he doesn't comply.
Rule #4: Only cry if your mascara is
waterproof and if you have a lace hanky where you can dab at the tears in a ladylike manner
Rule #5: No matter how disgusting the dead thing is that he brings home and puts in your floor as evidence of his manly hunting skills - the only appropriate response is "Ain't that nice"
(Throwing up does not constitute a response)
Rule #6: The best way to get even is to wash his underwear with a fiberglass curtain. He will itch like a madman while you sit there with a Mona Lisa smile and say "Whats wrong, Darlin? You got an itch? Want me to go get yall some Cortaid?"(Ain't that right, Carolyn?) ~giggle~
Rule #7: Men are easily distracted. When he starts discussing in a loud voice how much you put on the credit card, just pop open the top button on your chemise and bend over in front of him. Trust me - his mind will immediately change channels (no matter if you're endowed like Twiggy or Dolly - it's a man thing)
Rule #8: They will never - never - ever do housework like you want them to. If a man does anything at all around the house, it will always be half done - they do it this way so you won't ask them to do it again. So, fool them - lavish them with praise, grit your teeth at the wrinkles in the sheets or the dirt he missed when he vacuumed & let him start doing it all the time. Pretty soon, he'll get the hang of it. If not, just learn to live with his imperfection, it's real hard to teach an old dawg new tricks
