Winter sports for Southern ladies means brushing up on your tennis and golf game.
We do this so that we can sit in the clubhouse and gossip, (cough) uhm, discuss all the local goings on.
The favorite topics of discussion are - your neighbors. Like:
"Look at Betty Jean, Why her bosoms wasn't that big last week. Call Patti Ann over here, she works for Dr. McCutcheon and we'll just see how much them babies cost her"
and of course -
"Just look at that spineless jellyfish that Martha Rae is married to - why you know he's been carrying on with that hussy from the High School for months and right in her face, too - he ought to get some gumption and tell poor old Martha Rae. He's just an old fart ...Shame on him!"
and no conversation would be complete without
"There she goes lying again about her kids. Those kids of hers ain't nothin but a bunch of hooligans - Why, if my kids acted like that I'd beat the hide offen them. I'm just glad my kids got some home trainin"
Eavesdropping will get you a lot of, "Well, my momma always said" - "You don't say" - "I do declare" and "Kiss my grits" or my all time favorite, "Ain't that nice?"
We Southern ladies also practice this sport in the summertime.
It's never called gossip, however; just being interested in the well being of our neighbors and family, why it's your duty to worry about them, to share with them your hard learned wisdom and truth.
Just do it in a well mannered and genteel way and it's not only acceptable, its tradition!!.
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