TELEVISION SHOWS

A List of some of the "lines" on the blackboard at the start of "The Simpsons."

               “BEWITCHED” DOES NOT PROMOTE “SATANISM”	

               A BELCH IS NOT AN ORAL REPORT	

               A TRAINED APE COULD NOT TEACH GYM
	
               CURSIVE WRITING DOES NOT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES 

               FRIDAYS ARE NOT “PANTS OPTIONAL”	

               I AM NOT CHARLIE BROWN ON ACID

               I AM NOT HERE ON A FARTBALL SCHOLARSHIP	

               I AM NOT LICENSED TO DO ANYTHING	

               I AM NOT THE LAST DON	

               I AM NOT THE REINCARNATION OF SAMMY DAVIS JR.	

               I CANNOT ABSOLVE SINS	

               I CANNOT HIRE A SUBSTITUTE STUDENT	

               I DID NOT SEE ELVIS	

               I DO NOT HAVE A CEREAL NAMED AFTER ME 	

               I DO NOT HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY	

               I SHOULD NOT BE TWENTY ONE BY NOW 	

               I WILL NOT BURP IN CLASS	

               I WILL NOT BUY A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON	

               I WILL NOT CALL MY TEACHER “HOT CAKES”	

               I WILL NOT CELEBRATE MEANINGLESS MILESTONES	

               I WILL NOT HIDE THE TEACHERS PROZAC	

               I WILL NOT SAY “SPRINGFIELD” JUST TO GET APPLAUSE	

               I WILL NOT SCARE THE VICE PRESIDENT	

               I WILL NOT SELL MY KIDNEYS ON E-BAY	

               I WILL NOT SKATEBOARD IN THE HALLS	

               I WILL NOT WASTE CHALK	

               I WILL REMEMBER TO TAKE MY MEDICATION	

               I WILL STOP PHONING IT IN 	

               I WON’T NOT USE NO DOUBLE NEGATIVES	

               I’M SO VERY TIRED	

               INDIAN BURNS ARE NOT OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE	

               LOOSE TEETH DO NOT NEED MY HELP	

               MAKING MILLHOUSE CRY IS NOT A SCIENCE PROJECT.	

               MY HOMEWORK WAS NOT STOLEN BY A ONE ARMED MAN 	

               NO-ONE WANTS TO HEAR FROM MY ARMPITS	

               PORK IS NOT A VERB	

               RALPH WON'T "MORPH" IF YOU SQUEEZE HIM HARD ENOUGH
               
               RUDOLPH'S RED NOSE IS NOT ALCOHOL RELATED

               SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS ARE NOT SCABS	

               TEACHER IS NOT A LEPER	

               THE CAFETERIA DEEP FRYER IS NOT A TOY 

               THE GIVING TREE IS NOT A CHUMP	

               THE HAMSTER DID NOT HAVE “A FULL LIFE”	

               THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE DOES NOT END WITH HAIL SATAN	

               THERE ARE PLENTY OF BUSINESSES LIKE SHOWBUSINESS	

               THERE'S NO SUCH MONTH AS ROCKTOBER

               THEY ARE LAUGHING AT ME, NOT WITH ME	

               THIS PUNISHMENT IS NOT BORING AND POINTLESS	


               I WILL NOT BE A SNICKERPUSS

This last one was the punishment given to Lisa in one episode.

The Waltons ( CBS 1972 - 1981 )
John Walton, Sr.	Ralph Waite	Father
Olivia Walton	Michael Learned	Mother
Zebulon Tyler Walton	Will Geer	Grandfather
Esther Walton	Ellen Corby	Grandmother
John Walton, Jr.	Richard Thomas	John Boy
Jason Walton	Jon Walmsley
Mary Ellen Walton	Judy Norton Taylor
Erin Walton	Mary Elizabeth McDonough
Benjamin Walton	Eric Scott	Ben
James Robert Walton	David W. Harper	Jim Bob
Elizabeth Walton	Kami Cotler
Joseph Zebulon Walton		Jim-Bob's twin brother who died at birth.