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How do we rank 'em?

The Cumulative Protein Index

Jared & Jeremy's System of Chick Ranking

The Piece of Meat and Chick Rankings are devised through a complicated index we call the Cumulative Protein Index, or CPI. The index takes into account the following:

Vibe The general feeling we get from them. How we think they are doing, how we feel about them. You can tell a lot from a vibe.

Looks Yeah, looks are important.

Attitude Attitude is also important. This is how much they are trying, whether they are thinking positively or not. Chicks need a great attitude.

Hairstyle Hair is also very important. A hint to girls: Never change your hairstyle..it looks fine.

Eyes The eyes are everything.

Smarts Yeah, whatever.

Now, the chicks are given a score on each of these factors, equalling a maximum score of 100. Here is the maximum point total for each factor:

Vibe-30 pts.

Looks-30 pts.

Attitude-30 pts.

Hairstyle-5 pts.

Eyes-4.9999 pts.

Smarts-0.0001 pts.

Okay.....now some of you may look at the Hall of Shame and think...yeah...they aren't good at all. But, in their defense, and to show you just how good the real Chicks are, we offer the rankings for the average "very hot high school girl":
VibeLooksAttitudeHairstyleEyesSmartsTotal
Average "Very Hot" Girl 12010.2N/A4.2

Still America's Drive-In?

Why Do We Men Torture Ourelves So?

A Look At Age

Back to the Pieces of Meat

The Chicks who can't be Pieces of Meat Cause They're Old, and That Would Just Be Sick
The Hall Of Shame
Two-Timing Guide