3/9/06: The Omega Code 2: Megiddo is here!
It is a sad fact of life that the Christian film industry is pretty much crap. Why this is so is one of those cosmic questions that we will have to ask God someday when we die and face judgement.

But until that day, we at Maniacal_Hamster will have to content ourselves with watching these consistently bad pieces of cinema and offering reviews of them so that you can wisely avoid putting yourselves through the same torture (unless you happen to enjoy extreme mental anguish, in which case, go for it, you sad, twisted soul).

For handy reference, we have devised a rating system especially for entries in the Christian film category that we like to call the Cringe Factor. That is, a scale of how many times a movie's poor dialogue, gaping plot holes and bad acting/directing/effects make you look away, shudder or suffer a brain hemhorrage.

The Cringe Factor scale is as follows:

0: Actually not that bad--good story, decent acting, high production values, compares favorably with secular films.

1: Okay. Has a few weaknesses (uneven acting, some plot problems, etc) but, hey, it's a Christian film.

2: Makes you squirm in a few spots, but gets the point across, if rather clumsily.

3: You sit through the whole thing mostly out of curiosity to see how much worse it could possibly get.

4: You spend most of the film with your face in your hands, wondering how anyone could have thought this movie was a good idea.

5: Makes you question your beliefs, because if there was a God, wouldn't he have stopped this?

So, pick your poison:

Omega Code 2: Megiddo

The Greatest Story Ever Told

The Last Temptation of Christ