"My uncles/aunts/cousins have a tendency
to walk in, say hi to my mother (who's usually the person they're
dropping by to see), then ask "where's Marina?". No matter
which answer my mother gives to this, they start banging on my bedroom
door ('no, don't do that. She's asleep!'), calling out "maaaaahhh
reeeee naaaaaahhhhhhh".
I HATE IT when people bang on my bedroom door. But not as much as I hate it when they just KEEP ON BANGING until they wake me up/force me to acknowledge them with an annoyed "WHAT?". I would never EVER go to my uncle's house and bang on his bedroom door if my aunt told me he was sleeping. I mean, WTF?"
"Welcome to the first of what I hope
will be many BushFoolery Alerts. As you know, I frequently post
oddball, quirky, funny, and/or horrifying Dubya related items. Well,
now I've decided to be more organized about it. (Let's see how long
that lasts.)"
"Explaining The Younger Generation
The young-20s attitude is something of a puzzle to older people.
As media stories became more and more ridiculous and commercialism
became more and more oppressive, this construct seemed to work.
But, now, we are at war..." And we're paralyzed."
"Why is it so hard for women to understand
that men pee standing up? Don’t they realize that if the seat
is down that a man must make the effort to pick the seat up before
he can relieve himself? The extra 3 seconds that takes can be crucial
to proper bladder release. The basic law of gravity makes it clear
that it takes less energy to put something down than pick it up,
so I can only conclude that women are selfish and unreasonable when
it comes to toilet etiquette."
"Hey, Bush Administration, I have a
great idea to keep people from getting smallpox! Why don't we offer
an inoculation that causes anyone who takes it to become totally
contagious and can potentially infect and/or kill the 60 million
Americans whose immune systems can't handle the vaccine? Oh, wait,
you're miles ahead of me."
"Today has been an upside-down sort
of day. Y'see, I have this Japanese translation class... my sensei
is this brilliant scholarly woman who nevertheless has a small,
meandering mean streak - so today she pulls on us the "let's-translate-something-no-one's-prepared!-mwahahaha!-"
routine and it was chaos. I don't remember what we read, except
that it had to do with Yukio Mishima, Confessions of a Mask, and
being gay and closeted in 1950's Japan. Pretty cool stuff, actually."
"I was selected for jury duty this
week. Some of you know, some of you may not know that I was a victim
of Attempted Murder and Attempted Carjacking several years ago in
Atlanta. The trial I got stuck with this week was, in a nutshell,
Armed Robbery and Carjacking, amongst numerous other charges. Was
I a happy camper? HELL NO!! But you know what? I decided that I
was not going to try to get out of it. Sure it opened up a lot of
old wounds, stirred up a lot of old emotions that I didn't want
to deal with. But I decided that after almost ten years, it was
time I dealt with this."
"A lot of people think PETA is just
a bunch of weirdos who go ballistic over every little animal abuse
situation they can find. Well, Duh! Granted, I have to admit they
sometimes do go over the bend with silly stuff, like don't eat turkey
or, drink milk instead of beer (can't a person have both?). But
the good things they do to enlighten the unwashed public about the
unbelievable tortures animals suffer because of callous people far
outweigh their occasional strange positions on animal welfare."
"So now we make our way through the
wreckage that surrounds us, into the city and up the stairs and
elevators that take us to Mr. S's bedside, where we sit and look
at him, in ruins. He's 82, dying of Parkinson's, and there's not
a damn thing we can do about it. Except hold his hand, fix his blanket,
and wonder where he goes when he lies there, softly singing hymns
to himself."
"When I was a college I used to collect
and listen to music. OK I wouldn't say I became a big ardent fan
boy of anything in particular, though there was much stuff I listened
to. There was however much stuff I listened to once or twice maybe,
and then never again, it was part of the process of having lots
of copies of all these new groups.
Anyway, yesterday I decided to change the tape in my car, a compilation
of Del Amitri has been playing for the last two months because the
tape stuck and I couldn't be bothered to take it out. So much so
that even my three year old son (well, 3 in February) knows the
opening lyrics to a Bside called 'Scared to live', which is sort
of impressive"
"So... yet again we have issues with
computers, DSL service and phone lines Sorry for yet another absence.
Here's hoping my luck will be better this time around and things
will behave.
What's new..... I've been doing some reading. Finished Kellerman's
book and zipped through Taken by Thomas Cook. Enjoyed them both.
Must see if the SCI FI Channel has released Taken on video or DVD
yet."
"Apparently, somewhere between the
70s to the present, some exec in Wham-O's product development area
sat in a meeting room with a bunch of underlings and said, 'People,
the Slip 'n Slide should be more than a painfully thin strip of
lonely yellow plastic running down one's asphalt driveway and made
slippery only through the trickle of water provided by the garden
hose. Yes, it's fun. But it's also a surefire way to obtain skinned
palms and sore tailbones. Make it more. Make it fancy. Make the
old Slip 'n Slide as it was known to Becky when she was growing
up look like crap. Give it asteroids. Give it big splashes. Make
it surf-worthy. Do it!'"
"well lets see now....last night i
went in spirit to a afterlife place.
There was this large building with Murals all aound the walls, murals
that i only had a minute to look at as my Guide took me inside.
My guide then introduced me to other Teachers, of this building
and then they told me, these teachers, that this place was a
MORMON TEMPLE"
"Gah. I hate it when baseball and football
interrupt normal ID10T Box programming.
Face it, not all men like sports.
I don't need to be able to spout off the latest football or baseball
stats to prove my masculinity/manhood. I can do that in other ways.
Ways that the female of the species is likely to appreciate more
than my asking for the sports section from the morning paper, so
I can keep up with the latest boring, pointless W-L record and other
statistics."
"I think I'm going to do it this week.
Something I have never done before. Go to the movies alone. I want
to go see Real Women Have Curves, but can't get anyone to go with
me. I should not be missing out on movies because of anyone else's
intellectual shortcomings or lack of taste in cinema. Maybe Thursday
night."
"So that will be my first New Year's
resolution find better hosting to host my images without feeling
like I am hotlinking! The second is to double my income online!
The third is to quit smoking, I am down to about 5 or 6 cigarettes
a day if I ever smoke that much. Anyhow here is a repost of Britney
Spears in thongs with her friends, you probably have seen this photo,
but this one is perhaps the best quality one I have seen around!
"
"It surely is one happy day down here
to the trailer park! We got us our Thanksgivin' turkey! Course we
didn't plan on havin it yet, but sometimes the Lord werks in misteryous
ways. Bosephus was out joy ridin' in Bubba J's pickup and, y'all
gots to remember that Bosephus don't got hisself no driver's license
and he ain't used to the pickup. Anyhow, Bosephus and Festus Jr.
was out in the back woods somewhere and somethin ran right in front
of the pickup. Bosephus couldn't put on the brakes fast enuff and
he hit it. Festus Jr. went out to see what it was that done got
hit. It was a turkey! We figger it was a gift from heaven. Now we
just gots to figger out how to get taters and punkin pie and other
fixin's fer our Thanksgivin feast."
"Catherine Wiley
I went to the Knoxville Museum of Art this morning for an exhibit
of glass sculpture, and one of 20th century Tennessee painting.
What moved me were three paintings by Catherine Wiley - one from
the permanent collection and two in the exhibit. Catherine Wiley
(1879-1958) was a local Knoxville artist who was one of the first
women art teachers at the University of Tennessee. She was an Impressionist
who sadly had a breakdown in 1926 and remained hospitalized until
her death in 1958."
