"THE EAR"
An old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he
approached
the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, may we
help you?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he
replied.
The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You
shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things
like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told
you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused
some embarrassment in this room full of people. What
You should have said is there is something wrong with
your ear or something and then discussed the problem
further with the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then
reentered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked,
"Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he
stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing
he had
taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your
ear, sir?"
"I can't pee out of it," the man replied.
Patient: "Well, Doc, you
sure kept your promise. You said I'd be walking in a
month and you were right. I had to sell my car to pay
your bill."
How Well Are You Doing?
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After
two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was
doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't
resist asking him,
"Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink
beer?"
"Oh no", I replied, "I've never done
either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and
bar-b-qued ribs?
I said, "No, I've heard that all "red
meat" is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like
playing golf?" he asked.
"No I don't," I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool
around with sexy women?"
"No," I said, "I've never done any of
those things."
He look at me and said, "Then why in hell do you
want to live to be 80?
"If your time hasn't come, not even a doctor can kill you."
- Mike Perlstein
Cough medicine...
The cold season is upon us, so be careful what you
take!!!!
Read and heed:
So, the owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy
leaning heavily against the wall.
The owner asks the clerk "What's with that guy
over there by the wall?" and the clerk goes
"Well, he came in here this morning to get
something for his cough.
I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an
entire bottle of laxative." and the owner goes
"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle
of laxatives!" and the clerk goes "Of course
you can!
Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"
Back to top
|
