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The CatchSophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building -- a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself.Shirley says,"Sophie, you know I'm shy. Why don't you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely." Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I'm not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely." "Of course I'm lonely, he says, "I've spent the past 20 years in prison." "You're kidding! What for?" "For killing my third wife. I strangled her." 
"What happened to your second wife?""I shot her." "And, if I may ask, your first wife?" "We had a fight and she fell off a building." "Oh my," says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, "Yoo hoo, Shirley. He's single." Robbing the Old LadyAn old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money, but the robber insisted that it must be in her bra and started feeling around."I told you I haven't got any money," the spinster said, "but if you keep doing that, I'll write you a check." Bad Driver!There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!"George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!" Scrimping and SavingAfter years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his
wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally saved
enough money to buy what we started saving for in
1979." |
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