The Race is On
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to, " the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
Traffic Accident
In the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, two cars both veer over the white line in the center of the road.
They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither occupant is hurt. It is impossible to assess blame for the accident.
Both the drivers get out of their car. One is a doctor and the other is a lawyer.
The lawyer calls the police on his car phone and goes over to talk to the doctor.
It's cold and damp, and both men are quite shaken up at the accident.
The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask.
"Why, thank you," the doctor accepts. He takes a few drinks and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away.
"Aren't you also going to have a drink?" the doctor asks.
"Yes. After the police get here." replies the lawyer.
Sneaky Lawyer
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
'My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles.
His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense
committed by his limb.'
'Well put, ' the judge replied. 'Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.'
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
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Lawyer Joke a Day
