60 above: Californians shiver
uncontrollably.
People in New England plant gardens.
50 above: New Yorkers try to turn on the
heat.
People in New England sunbathe.
40 above: Italian & English cars
won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.
32 above: Distilled water freezes.
Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.
20 above: Floridians don coats,
thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above: New York landlords finally turn
up the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it
gets cold.
0 degrees: People in Miami all die.
New Englanders close the windows.
10 below: Californians fly away to
Mexico.
People in New England get out their winter coats.
25 below: Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door
to door.
40 below: Washington DC runs out of hot
air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North
Pole.
New Englanders get frustrated because they khan't
"staht the kah".
460 below: ALL atomic motion stops
(absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in New England start saying..."Cold 'nuff
for ya?"
500 below: Hell freezes over.
New England Patriots win the Super
Bowl and Red Sox win
the World Series.
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