Brian Todd Simmons: a-livin' in the Cumberland
Valley
Proud, radical adherent to chaotic acts of kindness....
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Essence
Marital status: Single. I probably will not consider marrying again.
Significant other: No.         Insignificant other: No.         Friends: Many.

Children: none currently.
Future children: It's getting late in the game. I had wanted children, with the right woman.

Religion: Protestant

Previous religion: Presbyterian (USA): the traditional Simmons Presbyterianism.
Occasionally attended Hagerstown Presbyterian Church (1998–2004) and regularly attended the Greencastle Presbyterian Church (GPC: October 2004–May 2005 and October 2006–June 2007). Occasionally still attended GPC through late summer 2007 and returned for the Christmas Eve service 2007, as it is a tradition for the past four years with my friend Rita, but once again was living in crisis mode. Began attending again in the spring of 2009 when not working, and continue a mostly regular attendance since.

In November 2010, I attended a three-part study of the act and significance of praying.

As my situation worsened in 2010, I found myself relying on my local church both financially and spiritually.

Although realizing I cannot make myself perfect before joining a church, or being baptized, I had not felt it was yet right. I was asked on a few occasions by the Greencastle Presbyterian pastor to join— I accepted the invitation to a new members class in June 2011—with the caveat I may not join immediately thereafter.

After reading the material—and my pastor answering my concerns on the national church's involvement with the progressivist National Council of Churches and socialist/ Marxist World Council of Churches, I decided to move forward/ deeper and make a commitment to Christ and to Greencastle Presbyterian Church: I was baptized on Sunday Morning, 26 June 2011 and joined the Church as well.

In the Spring of 2012, information that I did not seek came to me. The local church was as off-track as national. Add that I had personal witness to their not being better stewards of the tithes and offerings, and the realization that I'd always be considered a second-class person there. I stopped attending in March. After discussion with my personal deacon there and others, I reluctantly mailed my resignation from the local church and Presbyterian (USA) on Tuesday, 3 July 2012.

Later that spring, I began attending Eyler's Valley Chapel. The service is on Sunday evenings, and each Sunday offers a guest pastor from a variety of denominations. I began to feel at peace there and attending through July 2014.

Because of circumstances beyond my control, I needed a closer church then. I am currently attending Otterbein United Brethren Church in Greencastle. I attend the Sunday morning service and Wednesday evening adult Bible study.

Am I perfect and sinless now? No.
Is any church perfect? No.

Previous thoughts and tidbits on my spiritual journey:
· "Non-committal at this point" was my long-standing first sentence on this website.
· Christianity does not answer all of my questions—maybe it was never meant to.
· The New Testament seems like a forced story made out of fragments. If the story must be told, and it was the ultimate sacrifice, why weren't the Gospels of each disciple better preserved—not just by us humans, but by Divine Intervention?
· I was raised Salvationist—a compromise between my Presbyterian father and Baptist mother. Both saw and felt the good works of Salvationist outreach. However, we stopped attending in great part because of logistics, after my father was gravely ill in the mid-1970s.
· Surprisingly, attended Highland View Academy Church, a Seventh-day Adventist place of worship,for a little over a year, September 2003–September 2004. I do believe in God's existence—surely someone is to blame for all of this—I am currently a bit of a deist.

Political Party: Registered Republican.

I started out my politics as a Reagan Republican, then became dissillusioned during the Bush 41 Years, and switched to being a Libertarian. When the Maryland Libertarian Party did not muster the signatures to remain a viable choice, I became an Independent.

I returned to Republicanism because:

  • The move to Pennsylvania gave me the opportunity.
  • Pennsylvania is a swing state, unlike Maryland. Penn's GOP needs me.
  • Bush 43 had pushed the Party back to the Reagan sensibilities for a time, at least.
I was always a pragmatic Libertarian though. I believe in the War, so we fight them there, not here. I am not for legalizing drugs or becoming isolationist. (Basically, "anyone but a Democrat")
Disaffected with the government-induced depression, uncontrolled borders, disregard for our Constitution, and unfair laws, I am creating The Simmons Manifesto, that perhaps could be the foundation for a new, citizen-based political movement, the American Civic Movement. I consider myself post-party now, but will maintain my status as a Republican in order to vote in the primary election.
 
How I Voted
November 2008 General Election
I was not enthusiastic to vote the 2008 general election. There was no one running that I felt would get America back on track and then move forward. Sadly, I can't really think of anyone who did not run that I saw as having the juice either.

· President & Vice President of the U.S.
Libertarian: Bob Barr (GA) & Wayne Allen Root (NV)

· United States House of Representatives
Republican: Bill Franklin Shuster

· Pennsylvania Attorney General
Republican: Tom Corbett
The Libertarian/ Green/ etc., Marakay J. Rogers, was against the death penalty and thinks too many minorities are in jail. No, too many minorities commit crimes.

· Pennsylvania State Representative
Republican: Todd A. Rock
He ran unopposed— well, a weak write-in by a Democrat, but I voted Rock— I agree with his views mostly.

· Pennsylvania State Senator
Republican: Richard Alloway II
The Dem, Bruce Tushingham, was an NEA-loving liberal.

· Pennsylvania State Treasurer
Republican: Tom Ellis
Mr. Ellis was the most qualified.

· Pennsylvania Auditor General
Republican: Chet Beiler
The Libertarian, Betsy Summers, never bothered to update her website from her last lost campaign (for another position), and the Libertarian official website doesn't have much on her either. Sorry, but with just an Associates degree, that is not enough education to be the best at the job.
Who'd trust Democrats with their money or in investigation, with the governor having the demeanor of a third-tier gangster?

· Pennsylvania state referendum
Water and Sewer Improvemnets Bond Referendum of $400,000,000
NO
We don't have $400M for this consolidated loan—and didn't this consolidated loan crap just tank the economy?

May 2008 Primary Election
Reluctantly voted in the 2008 primaries, but not in each race. I voted for Ron Paul for the Presidency, mostly in protest of McCain. Perhaps I should have chosen Mike Huckabee with hopes of getting him as McCain's running mate; I don't know.
 

 
November 2004 General Election
George W. Bush (R), President & Dick Cheney (R), Vice President
· James N. Clymer (C), U. S. Senate
· Bill Shuster (R), U. S. House Representative
· John Corbett (R), State Attorney General
· Joe Peters (R), State Auditor General
Bush & Cheney. W? Double yes! · Terry Punt (R), 9th District State Senator
· Patrick Fleagle (R), 90th District State House Representative
· Darryl W. Perry (L), State Treasurer
where: C = Constitutionist   L = Libertarian   R = Republican
So not one Democrat, but not a straight party ticket, either.

 

Occupation:
TBD

Former Occupations: Account Executive for WPS, Inc., which provided office technology solutions.
 
Brand Ambassador (read: "Marketing Assistant" or "Event Staffer") for Renewal by Andersen, the home improvement arm of a nationally-known window manufacturing company, Andersen.
 
Designer for Hagerstown Kitchens, a company making their own custom cabinetry and selling countertops and another company's cabinet line, Kabinart.
 
Sales/ Marketing & Administrative Coördinator for Carol Homes.
 
Project Coördinator for a kitchen & bath company. Assigned to the largest account at our branch (second largest in the company); became senior coordinator on the account in mid-February 2007.
 
Model Home Coördinator/ Sales Support; Refusal Conversion Specialist/Computer-Assisted Telephone Interviewer; Library Assistant I, Circulation (Day/Weekend); Auxiliary Studio Manager (Voluntary Department Aide); Calculus Tutor; Lumberyard/Hardware Store Clerk; & Gardener.

Intelligence Quotient (IQ): 135 (as per E-Mode.com).

Epitaph [if he were not to be cremated]: "If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't."

Previous nicknames:

  • Bridy or Brighty and Pookie (all by his brother Bill)
  • Mr. Todd and Buddy (both by his dad)
  • Brine (by his dad and, pronounced slightly differently, by his former accounts partner, Brigitte)
  • Stinkbaum (by his mom)
  • Squirrel (by Todd Wiggins, his 7th grade Social Studies teacher)
  • Bri (by Edgar Parker and Darlene Stred Kramer only)
  • Tewin or Tewie (after his character in high school)
  • Chester (by John Atridge)
  • Osgood (by Mark Thomas, and then most everyone in my Surry Community College calculus and physics classes--and at our study groups in the library--a.k.a. "prayer meetings")
  • Tolly (by Jeff Williams at Surry, after the cartoon character Brian created)
  • The Kid (by himself)
  • Sugar (by the late Gladys Bean Artis)
  • Barry (by the late Irvin Shannon)
  • Speedy (by Pauline, early Summer of 1997, as I was fast in my wheelchair and with my walker)
  • Ché (by himself, when e-mailing someone he called "Lisita")
  • Bri Bri (by this "Li Li")
  • Sexy (by Karin, before she got married--note she has not called him this since, Drew)
  • Merge Master (by Michelle, regrettably only to give him confidence in his newly returning driving skills)
  • B-Mac (by his former accounts partner, Ashlee).
  • TURD (by his company's Showroom Coordinator, Kim, who may be offering him a back-handed compliment, as she's scatological—the acronym, if it's that: totally useless rude designer)
  • Bri-Guy (by WPS's Sales Support, Jaime)

Hobbies/Interests: Biking, Walking, Web Design, Ceramics, Popular Movies, Creative Writing, E-Mailing, Wading, Chess, Board Games, Billiards, Concerts, Museums, Gardening,Radio-listening (including old shows, streaming audio, and shortwave), TV watching. Biking and Walking, are necessities for me anyway; ceramics was a hobby I chose.

I also make up quotes.

Likes (hobbies if he had more gumption) include: Sailing and canoeing.

Favorite musical artists of the past ten years (other than those invited to perform at the Amphitheater):

  • Equation (Love "Sailor Boy". Want to woo with "Cuckoo's Nest.")
  • The Holders (I know two of the original five members of this local (mostly) cover band--but those two left at the end of 2004—I attended the last public concert with friends. I joke the group should now be called "Holders Starship."
  • Smash Mouth (Seriously, can they not cheer you up?)
  • No Doubt—will they reunite? [Yes!]
  • Norah Jones
Favorite singles, in the past few years: Hanna-McEuen's "Ocean"—though I don't consider it country, more like soft/ folk rock; Plain White T's' "Hey There Delilah"; Los Lonely Boys' "Heaven"; & No Doubt's "It's My Life"
Favorite single of all time: Arguably Hot Rod Lincoln.

Currently listening to: Sister Sweet's debut album. Prior to that, Anne McCue's Roll CD.

Most underrated singer/songwriter: Christina Aguilera. Just because she's fabric-challenged, doesn't mean the lady can't write an anthem.
 
Favored poems, recently read:

  1. "The Author to Her Book" by Anne Bradstreet, 1678. Cute.
  2. "A Blessing" by James Wright, 1963. Nice imagery. (read: late September 2004)
  3. "Collage of Echoes" by Isabella Gardner, 1979. (read: early September 2004)
  4. "The Conjurer" by Maura Stanton, 1975. (read: late September 2004)
  5. "Holy Sonnet 14: Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God" by John Donne, 1633. (read: early September 2004)
  6. "I Find No Peace" by Sir Thomas Wyatt, 1557. This is me, but my "love" is my feckless, never-resting search for happiness. A favorite.
  7. "Laboratory Poem" by James Merrill, 1958. (read: late September 2004)
  8. "Miniver Cheevy" by Edwin Arlington Robinson, 1910.
  9. "Musée des Beaux Arts" by W. H. Auden, 1940. Word. Basically: "besides that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln"--or "and the band played on."
  10. "The Naked and the Nude" by Robert Graves, 1957. (read: early September 2004)
  11. "On My First Son" by Ben Jonson, 1616. (read: early September 2004)
  12. "Real Estate" by Carol Muske, 1981. (read: early September 2004)
  13. "A Red, Red Rose" by Robert Burns, 1796. (read: late June 2004)
  14. "The Solitary Reaper" by William Wordsworth, 1807. I was imagining that "highland lass" being on the opposite end of Europe, but it works either way.
  15. "Song" by C. Day Lewis, 1935. This is the poem I can use to honestly woo a woman. (read: late September 2004)
  16. "Very Like a Whale" by Ogden Nash, 1934. Why do we make analogies? Why do I make analogies? Why? Why?
  17. "The Workbox" by Thomas Hardy, 1914. An intriguing story in such a short poem!

Short stories read of late:

  • "A&P" by John Updike, 1961. (read: May 2004)
  • "Act of Faith" by Irwin Shaw, 1946. (read: early September 2004. The characters are wonderfully done, then the story takes an unexpected turn. Nice ending.)
  • "Barn Burning" by William Faulkner, 1939. (read: mid-September 2004)
  • "The Blue Hotel" by Stephen Crane, 1898. (read: June 2004)
  • "The Chaser" by John Collier, 1940. The glove cleaner sold for $5,000 in 1940. (read: early September 2004)
  • "The Chrysanthemums" by John Steinbeck, 1937. Analogous to any of my contributions these past seven years. (read: June 2004)
  • "The Demon Lover" by Elizabeth Bowen, 1945. (read: early September 2004. Very suspenseful.)
  • "Everyday Use" by Alice Walker, 1973. (read: mid-September 2004)
  • "First Confession" by Frank O'Connor, 1951 (read: June 2004)
  • "Flying Home" by Ralph Emerson, 1944. (read: May 2004)
  • "The Found Boat" by Alice Munro, 1974. (read: early September 2004. The interplay of the characters is done well. Yes, sometimes girls will strip for you. It can happen.)
  • "A Good Man Is Hard to Find" by Flannery O'Connor, 1953. (read: June 2004. If it weren't for the cat....)
  • "The Greatest Man in the World" by James Thurber, 1935. (read: late June 2004. Hmmm, an early conspiracy theory....)
  • "The Hammon and the Beans" by Américo Parédes, 1963. (read: early September 2004)
  • "A Hunger Artist" by Franz Kafka, (translation by Willa & Edwin Muir), 1924. (read: June 2004. Been there, done that. Long paragraphs!)
  • "I'm a Fool" by Sherwood Anderson, 1924. (read: June 2004)
  • "The Jilting of Granny Weatherall" by Katherine Anne Porter, 1930. (read: early July 2004)
  • "The Judge's Wife" by Isabel Allende, (translation by Nick Caistor), 1987. (read: late June 2004. I liked it; but yet another piece of prose written by a woman where the female character ends up enjoying a rape. Seriously.)
  • "A Jury of Her Peers" by Susan Glaspell, 1917. (read: mid-September 2004. I liked this story; that it was written as far back as 1917 amazes me.)
  • "Luck" by Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens), 1891. (read: June 2004)
  • "The Old Chief Mshlanga" by Doris Lessing, 1951. (read: June 2004)
  • "The Portable Phonograph" by Walter Van Tilburg Clark, 1941. (read: late August 2005)
  • "Rape Fantasies" by Margaret Atwood, 1977. (read: June 2004)
  • "Raymond's Run" by Toni Cade Bambara, 1970. (read: late June 2004)
  • "The Season of Divorce" by John Cheever, 1973. (read: June 2004)
  • "Slave on the Block by Langston Hughes, 1938. (read: June 2004)
  • "The Story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin, 1894. Serves her right. Seriously though, I was surprised this story was written in 1894; as I read it, I imagined it was written in the 1950s. (read: early September 2004)
  • "The Worker in Sandalwood" by Marjorie Pickthall, 1923. (read: June 2004)
  • "Young Goodman Brown" by Nathaniel Hawthorne, 1835. Extending the allegory to a more important level: in Brian's life, who is his "Faith"? Who are his townspeople? Discuss. [Lol!] (read: June 2004)
  • "Youth" by Joseph Conrad, 1902. If I'd known a few sailing terms, I could have had a better picture of the story in my mind. (read: late September 2004)

Plays read of late:

  • "A Happy Journey to Trenton and Camden" by Thornton Wilder, 1931. (read: mid-September 2004. It was well-written, and I accept and, even, appreciate the out-of-the-box style, but I saw little struggle for the characters. Where was the climax? At the end, I felt as if I had read a character study, or a run-through for an experiment, not a final work.)

Last books read:

  • Scarlett: The Sequel to Margaret Mitchell's "Gone With the Wind" by Alexandra Ripley. I liked it a lot. 823 pages--but I enjoyed it very much. Unbeknownst to me, Ms. Ripley died in January. (February 2004)

  • Team @ Work: Unlocking Your Potential... for Better Relationships & Business by Robert A. Rohm, PhD., 2004. I perused the workbook before the main book. (January 2006)

  • Positive Personality Profiles by Robert A. Rohm, PhD, 1998. I like the analysis, but I cannot pidgeonhole people using this D-I-S-C method--I cannot even fit me into it--I'm all over the disc. Supposedly, that makes me well-rounded and well-integrated, but even I admit that is not the case. (January 2006)

  • The Official Handbook for New Home Salespeople by Bob Schultz, March 2004. I hope some of these tips make me better at my job—and my volunteerism. (February 2006)
  • Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr. Spencer Johnson, 1998. My former co-worker Doris had encouraged me to read this thin book when we got it at the library—and thereafter. But it was tackled as required reading for the present job. (May 2006)
  • Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results by Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul, John Christensen, 2000. My former co-worker Doris showed me how to take a dreary job and try to get as much fun out of it as you could; I like to think I already knew that. This was the other thin book that was required reading for the present job. It was good to see this knowledge written down and put into practice at a real business. (Memorial Day, Monday Afternoon, 29 May 2006 at Enoch Brown County Park)

  • The Nordstrom Way: The Inside Story of America's #1 Customer Service Company by Robert Spector and Patrick D. McCarthy, 1995. Required reading in the gung-ho days of Reico. We'd read two chapters a month and then discuss it as the monthly branch reading. there were similarities and differences between Nordstrom's and us. Good: I didn't want to work for commissions only, for example. (I read all but the last chapter, which I had to skim--I had my own customers to please by then. Fall 2006)

  • Images of America: Fell's Point by Jacqueline Greff, 2005, Arcadia Publishing. My friend Rita had given me this book as a Christmas 2006 present. It's a good read (and, with so many photos, look). (I began reading it in Chambersburg Memorial Park in early January 2007, when it was warm. I finished it on Saturday, 19 May 2007 beside Long Pine Run Reservoir in Michaux State Forest.)

  • The Celestine Prophecy: An Adventure by James Redfield, 1993, Warner Books. My friend Tina had offered to send me a copy; instead, I checked it out of the town library. I started reading in early July. I finished the last 24 pages or so on Friday, 3 August 2007 while listening to Thomas Roue at Hagerstown's Port City Java. I have now read more scathing reviews of the book than the one I e-mailed to her in the longest straight-text e-mail I have ever written, 32k. (The review was not 32k; the e-mail was on a myriad of topics, none of which we really in much of a logical order.)

    In summary, I didn't mind the story, though it is admittedly flat. This is not Hemingway—but then again, my attempts at writing like him were as good as Redfield's. Perhaps this is why it took me so long to get through the book: although I wanted to be jazzed by the book, at least for my friend, I had to renew the loan.

    As an outlook, most of the morals of the story—the insights—are fine. Quite frankly, little is new here: be kind to everyone, try to value everyone, try to uplift others. What is new is wrong: that humanity can evolve and be like Jesus, without recognizing him as sole Saviour, energy dynamics, the Marx-like optimism of human nature once shown a new way, that all coincidences have meaning. Oh, how I so wanted to believe that last one, but there are few signs from Above. Coincidence, like sh-t, happens. Sorry, the Universe can only be so random.

    My advice for others thirsty for spirituality: try a main line Christian denomination. No one that's normal will knock you for believing that stuff. If that doesn't float your boat, try a fundamentalist denomination—make yourself up a list from least hokey to more hokey, and go down the list until you're fulfilled. If none of that works—or snake handling just ain't your bag—just try not to think about a higher meaning. Everyone dies—just run out the clock.

  • Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris, 2004, Little, Brown and Company. After Tina wrote that my writing reminded her of David Sedaris', I read a couple of his essays from Me Talk Pretty One Day: "Go Carolina" and "Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities" on Saturday, 28 July 2007. Then I perused the Dress Your Family book on Sunday Night, 5 August 2007 at Borders and read "The Girl Next Door" and "Blood Work". The first two essays were great—these second two were disappointing on this first reading. Maybe the topics were too uncomfortable—a very troubled nine-year-old girl who takes his belongings and a disorganized homosexual who mistakes the author for a gay whore. I thought the qualities I liked about his writing—his ability to rant and drawing obscure analogies—seemed to be wanting in these two essays. It was more dead-on reporting.

    Before Christmas 2007, I knew I'd not have much internet access as the libraries and colleges closed down, so I checked out both of these books and another book on handbuilding pottery. Of the three, this was the only one I got to read. It was like a friend in a lonely, bleak winter.

    I now realize that part of Sedaris' gift is that he does report on unique experiences. That his writings are based in experiences is wild, because a lot of his situations could never be dreamed up by someone. (Finished the last chapter, "Nuit of the Living Dead," on Thursday, 6 March 2008 in the parking lot of Shippensburg University.)

  • Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, 2000, Little, Brown and Company. As stated above, I had read the first two essays, "Go Carolina" and "Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities" on Saturday, 28 July 2007. I read most of the rest at work on Saturday, 3 May and Sunday, 4 May 2008 while without internet at the sales trailer from which I was working. The final 10% was read in my car at Pine Hill Recreation Area after a walk in the drizzle on Thursday afternoon, 8 May 2008.

  • A Republic, Not an Empire: Reclaiming America's Destiny by Patrick J. Buchanan, 1999, Regnery Publishing, Inc., Washington, DC. Considering the book was ten years old when I read it, amazingly still useful—though, sadly, I think we are a bit too late to ally with Russia.

  • Churchill, Hitler, and "The Unnecessary War": How Britain Lost Its Empire and the West Lost the World by Patrick J. Buchanan, May 2008, Crown Publishing (Group), New York. Mr. Buchanan writes a convincing case against the wars—a the true greatness of Winston Churchill. A brave bit of persuasion from Mr. Buchanan against the overglorified former politician. Please, could you now expose Abraham Lincoln for the world? I finished this good book on Monday Night, 9 February 2009, at home. I skimmed the "Notes" and "Bibliography" before returning it at the check-in counter of my town library on Wednesday, 11 February 2009.

  • When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin, 12 October 2004, Hyperion, Inc. Although I was lax in finishing this book—I renewed it four times, I think—my procrastination belies that I thought it was a very good book that at times brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Silly, over-the-top humor along side clever word play along side unique insights into every day human doings, including "euphemistic language" that is now so pervasive, one doesn't know it's in use until reading Carlin's reminders. Page 119 was most enjoyable, but don't make me pick just one or two gems. I regret never seeing him in concert—he came to the Maryland Theatre once or twice while I lived in the Valley. Knowing how he delivers, it enhances the material by imagining him performing it. Finished on Friday Afternoon, 27 March 2009 at Greencastle, PA's Besore Library.

  • Reagan: The Hollywood Years by Marc Eliot, 2008, Harmony Books. I wanted to be inspired by Reagan's success during the Depression years and was. On occasion, Mr. Eliot's sentences need a second read to find the correct meaning, and some of the stories were a bit muddied, such as Jane Wyman's family history. The purpose of the book was to have been to clarify such Hollywood stories; in most instances, it did and I learned a lot about Mr. Reagan's early years and that time in Hollywood. I read much of the book at night in my apartment and finished the story on Monday, 6 April 2009 in the Coyle Library parking lot. I finished the (end) notes on its due date, Tuesday Afternoon, 7 April in the Coyle Library.

  • How the States Got Their Shapes by Mark Stein, 2008, Smithsonian Books (Collins, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers), New York, New York. (Finished it on Sunday Evening, 26 April 2009 at about 7:00 pm, while at Tayamentasachta Park.)

  • The Encore Effect: How to Achieve Remarkable Performance in Anything You Do by Mark Sanborn, 2 September 2008, Random House, Inc. (Finished from about page 40 to but about 35 pages on Memorial Day, Monday, 24 May 2009 in the afternoon at the overlook pavilion at Pen Mar Park, and then the rest at Caledonia State Park on Monday Afternoon, 1 June 2009, finishing at 5:55 pm.)

  • Fractal Time: The Secret of 2012 and a New World Age by Gregg Braden, March 2009, Hay House, Inc. (Received into the library on Tuesday Afternoon, 2 June 2009, I finished the book in the summer, but kept putting off the Appendices—and renewing the loan. It is in the appedices where one can see how Braden's "discovered" formula works. I finished these pages, calculator at the ready, on Tuesday Evening, 22 September 2009 at the Besore Library. How could a man who used math in almost all of his work miscalculate the decimal equivalents to each of the months of the year? Although there is a correction update on his website, including for the appendices' examples, it adds doubt to his accumen of being able to find a fundamental pattern to the universe. So does the website revision to earth's position at 2012— although I do admire him for correcting his mistakes/ misstatements.

    The calculator at his website disagrees with my Tuesday night calculation on a recent death being a fractal of one four years ago. My calculations were but 1½ months off the actual times, but the website calculator puts the fractal eight months ahead of the actual (second) death. using the calculator on Thursday, 24 September 2009, I found none of my personal tragedy dates fit.

    So, fie! on phi.

  • Glenn Beck's Common Sense Only got to finish Glenn's part of the book. Someone was waiting for me to finish this library loan, so I turned it in with hopes that I could pick up Thomas Paine's essays in another book. I had begun reading Mr. Paine's essays at the return. Although I checked it out later—after seriously perusing parts at Waldenbooks—I actually returned the book before Fractal Time. Glenn makes good points—however, his sense of organization conflicts a bit with mine. We both ramble in our writing, but it seems our rambling styles are not in sync. I do recommend the book.

  • False Economy: A Surprising Economic History of the World by Alan Beattie, 16 April 16 2009, Riverhead Books, ISBN-13: 978-1594488665. (A very good book that offers considerations rather than hard-and-fast rules. One big mistake: crediting FDR's New Deal with Hoover Dam— it being a project started under the Herbert Hoover Administration—but forgiveable. Mr. Beattie has a good style of writing that draws you in—albeit a distracting preference by him or his editors to use "she" for the generic "he." Regardless, an interesting read: I recommend the book. Checked out in November 2009 and finished on Sunday Afternoon, 3 January 2010 at about 3 pm.)

  • Memoirs of a Mangy Lover, by Groucho Marx, with illustrations by Leo Hershfield, 1963, New York, Bernard Geis Associates, LoC #63-18454. An uplifting book: I most liked the essays which seemed to be true. Although I waded through "The Unnatural History of Love" chapter, I did appreciate that this story was probably an inspiration for Mel Brooks' movie spoof of history later on. In fact, most of the "old jokes" were probably first told by Mr. Marx, and I unfortunately heard the lesser derivatives of his wit from others beforehand. (Checked out on 15 January 2010 and finished on Sunday Evening, 24 January 2010.)

  • Real Leaders Don't Do PowerPoint: How to Sell Yourself and Your Ideas, by Christopher Witt, 3 February 2009, Crown Business, ISBN-13: 978-0307407702. Another book that offers considerations/ guidelines, and then finishes with "whatever works for you." (Checked out in late November 2009 and finished on Monday Afternoon, 25 January 2010.)

  • The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Great Depression and the New Deal, by Robert Murphy, 31 March 2009, Washington (DC), Regnery Press, ISBN-13: 978-1596980969. The chart comparing Canadian unemployment during the 1930s versus American unemployment pretty much makes the whole case: Canada had no New Deal and its rates lowered after the stock crash; America taxed and spent, and its rates did not dip substantially. And we are doing this same scheme again here in 2010, with even more waste. (Checked out on Friday, 5 February 2010 and finished on Tuesday Night, 8 February 2010 at about 7 pm.)

  • Much Ado About Me, by Fred Allen, June 1956, Amereon Ltd., ISBN-10: 0884112918. I stayed up one night past 1 am reading this book! Mr. Allen could turn a phrase and make a little story a good one. I was saddened to learn at the end that he'd died before writing the intended last chapter. (Began reading this book in January 2010 in the Fayetteville's Grove Family Library during "bump-offs" from the computer. Checked out on Tuesday, 9 February 2010 and finished on Thursday Night, 11 February 2010.)

  • I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This: And Other Things that Strike Me as Funny, by Bob Newhart, 19 September 2006, New York (New York), Hyperion, ISBN-10: 1401302467. (Checked out on Tuesday, 16 February 2010 and finished on Monday Night, 22 February 2010 at about 11:30 pm.)

  • Rickles' Book: A Memoir, by Don Rickles (with David Ritz, contributor), 2007, New York (New York), Simon & Schuster, ISBN-10: 0743293053. A quick read—so much so is that I finished it when I got home from the Coyle Library. Unlike his act, Mr. Rickles doesn't really get even with anyone he mentions; he merely explains his rise in anecdotes. It was enjoyable. (Checked out on Wednesday Night, 24 February 2010 and finished at about 1 am on Thursday Morning, 25 February 2010.)

  • Lost States: Real Quests for American Statehood, by Michael J. Trinklein, 12 April 12 2008, CreateSpace, ISBN-13: 978-1438215334. I found this book in Hagerstown's new Books-A-Million, and read it about 2/3 of the way through before the mall was soon to close. The next afternoon, I found it at Borders, and finsihed it. An interesting, easy-to-read little book. Land and what might have been‐an excellent combination. I became a fan of "Lost States" on Facebook on Monday Afternoon, 8 March 2010. (Began in the Valley Mall's new Books-A-Million on Saturday Evening, 6 March 2010 and finished the next day, Sunday Evening, 7 March 2010 at borders in Hagerstown.)

  • Jay Leno: Leading With My Chin, by Jay Leno with Bill Zehme, October 1996, Harpercollins, ISBN-10: 0060186941. Like the Newhart and Rickles books, this was an easy read that I wanted to continue reading when I should have gone to bed. although his feud with David Letterman is not mentioned, the book does offer insight into Jay's relationship to and character of his parents. It is a fine tribute to them. His brother is only vaguely mentioned. (Finished on Sunday Night, 7 March 2010 at 10:25 pm.)

  • Last Words, by George Carlin with Tony Hendra, November 2009, New York (New York), Free Press (a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.), ISBN-10: 1439172951. At first I worried that his biography (a long story) would not be like his short stories in his other books, but not so. Although he and I are different, he gave a very understandable explanation of his process. The man was an artist. I am sad that his 19th chapter was not fulfilled, but at least we know he still had things he wanted to share. (Checked out around Monday, 5 April 2010; finished in my car waiting to see the HCC play Zombie Prom, at about 7:15 pm on Saturday Evening, 24 April 2010.)

  • What If? 2: Eminent Historians Imagine What Might Have Been, by James Bradley, Caleb Carr, Thomas Fleming, John Lukacs, Geoffrey C. Ward, et al., edited by Robert Cowley, 2001, New York (New York), G.P. Putnam's Sons, ISBN 0-399-14795-0. Many of the essays more illumine lost details of real history than describe fleshed-out alternate endings from a change. This tack disappointed me on a few, but I found the book interesting as a whole. Reading Editor Cowley's "Introduction" last, he blasts American education's "Social Studies" in "which all races, nationalities, and sexes are given equal time"; this surrendering to special interests is "not just distorting, but boring." He adds that studying broad trends, waves make it seem as if history is inevitable—"that drama and contingency have no place in the general scheme." We now witness the result of two generations of "Social Studies" as we repeat the mistakes of not only our own country, circa the 1930s, but also of others (Soviet Union, Europe).
    (Checked out of Coyle Free Library, Chambersburg, PA on Late Friday Afternoon, 5 March 2010 and finished the introduction— I skipped around—last, back at the Coyle Library on Wednesday Evening, 28 April 2010, whereupon I returned it.)

  • Somebody's Gotta Say It, by Neal Boortz, 20 February 2007, [city], William Morrow, ISBN-13: 978-0060878207. (Checked out of Coyle Free Library, Chambersburg, PA on Wednesday Evening, 28 April 2010.)

  • President James Buchanan: A Biography, by Dr. Philip Shriver Klein, 1962, University Park (PA), Pennsylvania State University Press, ISBN: 0271730935/ ISBN-13: 9780271730936.
    This books gives a clear picture of a private, complicated man who had a precise personal moral code in being a public servant. As The Man of Mystery here in Franklin County—his birthplace—I am glad to have now a bit more insight into the 15th President. The book shows what Buchanan tried to do within The Constitution and with reason, his successor opted to do by fomenting a bloody, perhaps needless, war.
    Written in 1962, it does not deal with the "modern" rumors of Buchanan possibly being gay, but does delve some into his possible heterosexual interests— whether these were a politician's posings, we will never know.
    Personally, I don't think he was gay. I think he was unfortunate and a bit challenged when it came to starting up a romance. his precision and certain habits that are detailed—his legible handwriting, his love of balancing accounting books to the penny—lead me to suspect he had a bit of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, perhaps brought on by the stress of the death of his (neglected) fianceé and having to be guardian to his many nieces and nephews. Such affliction can be sympatico with the Presidency and affairs of the State, but not so with affairs of the heart.
    I admired two quotes Buchanan wrote repeatedly in his letters:
    · "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
    · "It is better to bear the ills we have than to fly to others we know not of."
    (Checked out of Grove Family Library, Chambersburg, PA, May 2010. Finished at Washington County Free Library on Sunday Afternoon, 18 July 2010 at 4:30 pm.)

  • No Shirt, No Shoes... No Problem!, by Jeff Foxworthy, June 1996, New York (New York), Hyperion Books, ISBN-10: 0786862343/ ISBN-13: 978-0786862344. (Checked out of Coyle Free Library, Chambersburg, PA on Friday, 14 May 2010 and finished in the Washington County Free Library, Hagerstown, MD on Sun. Afternoon, 1 August 2010 at 3:25 pm.)

  • The Enemy Within: Saving America from the Liberal Assault on Our Schools, Faith, and Military, by Dr. Michael Savage, 8 January 2004, Nashville (TN), Thomas Nelson Inc., ISBN-10: 0785261028/ ISBN-13: 978-0785261025. Although I began perusing the book the Thursday before, I finished the book at the Greencastle, PA Besore Library in one afternoon the following week without ever checking it out on loan, "stranded" as I was in the town with my car in the shop. Dr. Sabage is a fairly easy read; his anger translates. Having heard his radio show, I mentally read the book in his voice, which enhanced the experience.

  • George Burns: All My Best Friends, by George Burns with collaborator David Fisher, 6 November 1989, New York (New York), G. P. Putnam's Sons, ISBN-10: 0399134832/ ISBN-13: 978-0399134838. A few chapters near the end, although interesting, seemed more by Fisher than Burns, as they seemed more researched than remembered. (Checked out on Monday, 27 September 2010. I read 137 pages in one night; 86 pages the next time I picked it up.... Finished in my car, below my apartment, on Sunday Night, 24 October 2010 at 9:38 pm.)

  • Funny Letters from Famous People, by Charles Osgood, 8 April 2003, New York (New York), Broadway Books (an imprint of The Crown Publishing Group), ISBN-10: 076791175X/ ISBN-13: 978-0767911757.

  • The War for Late Night: When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy, by Bill Carter, 4 November 2010, New York (New York), Viking Adult (a division of Penguin), ISBN-10: 067002208X/ ISBN-13: 978-0670022083. (Read completely during several visits to Hagerstown, MD's Borders.)

  • Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary, by David Sedaris with illustrations by Ian Falconer, 28 September 2010, New York (New York), Little, Brown and Company (a division of Hachette Book Group), ISBN-10: 0316038393/ ISBN-13: 978-0316038393. (Read completely on Sunday Afternoon and Evening, 26 December 2010 in my apartment—we were expecting a snowstorm that never came.)

  • Patrick Henry: First Among Patriots, by Thomas S. Kidd, 22 November 2011, Basic Books (A Member of the Perseus Books Group), ISBN-13: 978-0-465-00928-2. (Kidd gives some of the potential reasons of why Henry was Henry: his thoughts, his words, his actions. I learned that factions/ parties were functioning even at the choosing of the first President—which could have been Patrick Henry! Completed on Sunday Afternoon, 5 August 2012.)

  • The Ultimate Conversation: Talking with God Through Prayer, by Charles F. Stanley, September 2012, New York (New York), Howard Books (a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.), ISBN: 978-1-4391-9065-4.(Picked up from Reserves at Besore library on Thursday Evening, 7 February 2013 and finished on Sunday Night, 28 April 2013 at 9:33 pm.)

  • Lies the Government Told You: Myth, Power, and deception in American History, by Judge Andrew P. Napolitano, 2010, Nashville, TN, Thomas Nelson (a trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.), ISBN: 978-1-59555-266-2.(Picked up from Thurmont Regional Library on Sunday Afternoon, 21 July 2013 and finished on Saturday Afternoon, 14 September 2013 around 4:30 pm.)

Book that I'm currently reading:

Books I've started, but not quite finished reading:

  • A workbook on Microsoft Excel.

  • The Panic of 1907: Lessons Learned from the Market's Perfect Storm, by Robert F. Bruner & Sean D. Carr, 31 August 2007, [city], John Wiley and Sons, ISBN-13: 978-0470152638. (Checked out on Saturday, 30 January 2010.)

  • Work the Pond, by Darcy Rezac with Judy Thomson and Gayle Hallgren-Rezac, 4 October 2005, Prentice Hall Press, ISBN-10: 0735204020/ ISBN-13: 978-0735204027.

Book I'd been reading:

The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz, a gift from my boss (and friend), Trish. The drunk's wreck took the book.
 

Best solo 8-Ball games:

  • May 2004: two best games: 34 shots each. Average games: about 42 shots.
  • Tuesday, 1 June 2004: 44, 37, 47, 49 shots.
  • Wednesday, 2 June 2004: 46, 51, 38, 44 shots.
  • Thursday, 3 June 2004: 40, 37, 40, 48, scratch, 63 (worst yet), 52 shots.
  • Friday, 4 June 2004: 52, 31, 44.
    The first game in May where I sank them all in 34 shots was magical. Today's game of 31 was not magical; it was more methodical. I kept count but did not process the number until I had nearly sunk them all. There wasn't time to "choke."
  • Thursday, 24 June 2004: 54, 38, scratch, 42, 42, 47.
  • Tuesday, 6 July 2004: 50, 48, 49.
  • Friday Night, 20 August 2004: 43, scratch, 48.

College Clubs: Hagerstown Community College (HCC) Art Club (co-President: Spring & Summer 1998; President: Fall 1998 to Tuesday, 16 February 1999--at 1 pm; Vice President: latter Fall 1999 to Thursday, 3 February 2000); HCC International Club (Vice President, by fiat: Spring, Summer, early Fall 1998; Club Representative to Student Government Association: most of Fall 1998 to Monday, 1 February 1999; Vice President, by election: Fall 1999 to Tuesday, 1 February 2000; Secretary, by election, Fall 2001). Student Government Association Communications Committee Chair, Fall 1998 and Spring 1999; Club Representative Executive to the Student Government Association: Fall 1998 and until Thursday, 18 February 1999.

Continued to volunteer with the Art and International Clubs until mid-2005, and was de facto co-sponsor of the International Club in Spring 2002. Old Club Scrapbooks on the Internet: International Club E-Page and Art Club E-Page. [Pagekeeper and founder of both.] Also founded and kept: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD, O-C) Home Page. [Webpages were deleted by Geocities.com.]

Other Memberships and Associations:

  • American Automobile Association (Mid-Atlantic: Primary Member, 2001--2002; Plus Member, 2002–2003; Primary Member 2006–2008; changed membership to Pennsylvania South Central in February 2007)
  • Greencastle Area Arts Council (Individual Member, Saturday Afternoon, 17 June 2006–31 December 2007; 2014–).
  • Hagerstown Community College Alumni Association: Member, 1 July 2001–30 August 2007 & Life Member, 1 July 2013‐.
    - Member, Executive Committee, 1 July 2005–1 July 2007
    - Member, Board of Directors, 1 July 2001–17 July 2004
    - Chair, Alumni Awards Committee, November 2003–May 2004 (& September 2005–September 2006)
    - Member, Flower & Garden Show Committee, 2001–2004
    - Member, Fay Shaffer Memorial Committee, 2004–2006.
    - Member, Fundraising Committee, 2006–2007.
    - Member, Nominating Committee, 2002 & 2007.

    - Vice President (Amphitheater Programming), June 2005--

  • Hagerstown Public Access Coalition: Member, 7 July 2004--31 December 2004
    - Interim Arts Liaison, 7 July 2004–31 December 2004
  • Washington County Free Library's Friends of the Library: Member, Fall 2001–Fall 2003.
  • Washington County Museum of Fine Arts: Individual Member, June 2001–June 2003 & June 2006–December 2007 & 2011–2013.

Blood Pressure:
· 109/69, on Monday, 26 June 2000.
· 110/70, on Tuesday, 8 October 2002.
· 96/58 with a pulse rate of 64 on Thursday, 9 January 2003.

· 116/70 with a pulse rate of 72 on Wednesday, 5 February 2003.
Respiration: 16 "intakes" per minute on Wednesday, 5 February 2003.

· 114/68 on Sunday, 11 March 2007.
· 128/76 on Sunday, 14 January 2007 at midday.
· 122/68 with a "strong pulse" on Sunday, 6 May 2007.
· 124/62 with a pulse rate of 60 on Monday, 10 March 2008 at 3:30 pm—the day after the diagnosis in the Washington County Hospital ER.
· 118/76 some time in early 2008.
· 102/62 with a pulse rate of 68 on Sunday, 31 May 2009 at about 12:15 pm.
· 108/58 with a pulse rate of 58 on Sunday, 20 September 2009 at about 12:15 pm.
· 118/72 on Sunday, 11 October 2009 at midday.
· 110/60 on Sunday, 8 November 2009 at about 12:08 pm.
· 108/64 on Sunday, 17 January 2010 at around noon.
· 112/64 on Sunday, 14 February 2010 at about 12:00 N.
· 110/58 on Sunday, 14 March 2010 at about 12:00 N.
· 114/68 on Sunday, 8 May 2010 at about 12:00 N.
· 110/60 with a pulse rate of 64 on Sunday, 19 September 2010 at about 11:55 am.
· 106/60 with a pulse rate of 66 on Sunday, 12 June 2011 at about 11:20 am.
· 118/78 on Sunday, 13 November 2011 at about 12:06 pm.

· 100/62 on Sunday, 21 September 2014 at about 1:00 pm.

Height: 5'8". Weight: 165#. Body-Mass Index: about 25.085 (Tuesday, 8 October 2002). Weight: 164#. Body-Mass Index: about 24.988 (Wednesday, 5 February 2003).
 

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