Good
The Princess Bride

Father of the Bride

Decent
You've Got Mail

Only You

Speechless

Danger
Sleepless in Seattle

Movies That Will Get You Kicked Out Of The Men's Club

How to Make an American Quilt

I suspect "The Princess Diaries"

Chick Flicks can be a problem. Fact is, they suck. No man wants to spend two hours with a bunch of simpering idiots, and that's not even a reference to the folks watching the movie WITH him. But there are times when movies about 'feelings' and 'relationships' and (gag me with a spoon) 'struggles for personal self-worth' are unavoidable. If you're smart, you'll scheme the process to watch movies that can pass for chick flicks but are really guy movies in disguise (The Princess Bride) or are at least not teeming with estrogen.

Of course, if you're crazy about some girl, you probably won't mind any of the romantic movies (ie not Anne Frank). You're already delusional, and there's nothing wrong with that. Think of it as a sort of temporary immunity. Just be prepared for the eventual "but you liked Sleepless in Seattle, why don't you want to watch Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?"

The Princess Bride
Uh-oh. "Princess" and "bride" in the title, e-ven!? Bad news -- usually. But this is no ordinary movie. This is a classic, a movie for young and old, men and women and R.O.U.S. Highly Recommended The main character is "the man in black", played by Cary Elwes. He's got James Bond's style and gets all the chicks (well, the one chick in the movie). He's intelligent and lethal and fights with a sword. "Okay", you ask, "so the hero is a lot cooler than me -- how does this help any?" Well, maybe it doesn't. But at least he's cool, and not a pretty boy. Well, not really. But -- stay with me -- this movie has ANDRE THE GIANT! In a big way. (Ha ha!) He has lots of speaking lines, some of which rival Arnold Schwarzenegger's eloquence. It's great! The movie is wicked funny and a rollicking good time, with lots of lines you can quote amongst your friends afterward. Trust me, this is THE MODEL MOVIE for pseudo-chick flicks.

Father of the Bride (1991 version)
Another wedding movie? Yup. And this one is Pretty Damn Good too. Steve Martin is the father in question, and he's funny. The bride is the very attractive, basketball-playing Kimberly Williams, who now plays Dana on According to Jim. A funny lead, a girl I wouldn't mind marrying . . . yeah, this ain't so bad at all. Oh, it also has Martin Short as a (gay gay gay) wedding planner. He's more annoying than funny, but what can you do?

How to Make an American Quilt
Do not watch it. It is bad. Feelings feelings feelings feelings. Do not watch it. It is bad. Warning: your membership in the Men's Club will be revoked.No. Just No. Well, if you're obsessed with Winona Ryder (who stars in this movie), maybe you won't be psychologically harmed. Then again, if you're obsessed with Winona Ryder, you're probably already psychologically harmed. Have a nice life, sport!

Speechless
Charming political romance reminiscent of real-life political aides Mary Matalin and James Carville, except in the movie the characters are funny and attractive and not bald. Michael Keaton as Kevin and Geena Davis as Julia are speechwriters working for rival political candidates; their characters are real and relate well to the audience as 30 . . . ish single professionals with conflicts between love and work. There is an ill-conceived crisis near the end of the movie, but this one still gets enough votes to come in a winner. One comedy highlight is the spin of one politician's proposal to build a giant ditch to deter illegal immigration.

You've Got Mail
Cute like Sleepless in Seattle, just not so gay. This second Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan feature brings rival booksellers together at last through the anonymity of the internet. Very big on the love-hate thing, true love wins out in the end (okay so that's a spoiler, but I think you could have guessed that), and this is as close to a dyed-in-the-wool emotional lovey-dovey chick flick as I'll ever admit to liking. Better Than Sleepless in Seattle. Oh, this movie makes a lot more sense if you're over, say, at least 20, preferably 25, and single.

Only You
Marisa Tomei. Do ya like her? If you do, upgrade this to 'good'. If not, not. She stars as a wishy-washy girly-girl who is searching for Damon Bradley, the man she's going to marry. Does she know this Damon Bradley? No. Then how does she know she wants to marry him? Oh, a ouija board told her so when she was a little kid. And she still believes it. Right . . .

Okay, so Marisa's character (Faith Corvatch) is a dope. But she's (kind of) pretty, so does it really matter? Of course not. Besides, she's kind of the straight man (so to speak) to the rest of the cast (Robert Downing Jr, Billy Zane, Helen Hunt, & the one man's man in the film, Fisher Stevens), who make the whole thing fairly enjoyable. It's funny, too! But there are some painful (to the viewer) relationship-problem scenes -- you know, where the guy screwed up (of course) and has to get down on his hands and knees and beg and tell the girl she can cut off his -- allowance. But not so many of those scenes, thankfully. And if you'd be willing to do the same for Marisa Tomei, well, for one thing I'm going to take a look at your Men's Club registration to make sure it's up-to-date, but . . .

Okay, I'm rambling. The movie's pretty good, not a danger to watch. Go to it.

Bull Durham
This Kevin Costner-Susan Sarandon affair is actually a baseball movie, and thus on the baseball page.

Sleepless in Seattle
Tom Hanks is a widower. His real-man-guy-friend tells him his (Tom's) butt is 'not bad' on a scale of 'not cute' to 'cute'. Uh, ok. Folks, I've only seen part of this movie, but I'm pretty sure this one is trouble. It'll be hard to avoid, though, so be prepared -- hey, have a couple beers beforehand! but then again you'll probably have to talk about your relationship and whether or not you're romantic enough, so you'll need your wits about you. So . . . good luck!