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DADDY DAY CARE - C
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Steve Zahn, Anjelica Huston, Jeff Garlin, Regina King, Lacey Chabert, Laura Kightlinger, Kevin Nealon
Directed by: Steve Carr
Comedy, 92 min (PG) (Columbia, 2003)

In recent years, Eddie Murphy's family movie career has been more consistent than his adult-fare (think Shrek versus I Spy, Dr. Dolittle 2 versus Showtime), but Daddy Day Care is a quick kick in the shins to that streak. Taking a cue from 1983's Mr. Mom, Daddy Day Care casts Murphy as an advertising executive who, after getting the pink slip, turns his home into an affordable childcare alternative to the strict Chapman Academy (overlooked by Anjelica Huston in full Witches-style viciousness). As in too many recent Murphy flicks, the former Saturday Night Live star is the straight man here, almost sleepwalking through a role that could have easily benefited from a dose of enthusiasm. There are some amusing bits courtesy of Jeff Garlin (TV's Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Murphy's partner and a Star Trek-loving mail clerk-turned-nanny played by Steve Zahn (who voiced the bear in Dr. Dolittle 2), but far too much of the humour here is supposed to be drawn from the gaggle of "cute" child actors. Too bad there's only so much comedy that can be drawn from temper tantrums, sugar highs, separation anxiety, cutesy faces, toilet training, loud wailing and crying fits before they become about as irritating as diaper rash. (top) (back)

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DANCER IN THE DARK - B-
Starring:

THE DANGEROUS LIVES OF ALTAR BOYS - B-
Starring: Emile Hirsh, Kieran Culkin, Jena Malone, Jodie Foster, Vincent D'Onofrio, Tyler Long, Jake Richardson
Directed by: Peter Care
Drama, 105 min (14A) (Columbia Tristar, 2002)

Coming of age films aren't often associated with innovation, so The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys at least deserves props for throwing superhero animated sequences to the mix, each one realized by Spawn creator Todd McFarlane as a gripping extension of the characters' fantasies and emotional states. Based on a 1991 novel by the late Chris Fuhrman and based around a private Catholic school, Altar Boys stars newcomer Emil Hirsh as Francis, a teenage budding comic book artist with a blossoming romance with a girl with a secret (Jena Malone) and a best friend (Kieran Culkin) who, bored with his damaged home life, is fond of life-threatening stunts. Jodie Foster and Vincent D'Onofrio are also on hand as a strict one-legged nun and non-helpful priest, respectively, but they wisely don't distract from the compelling performances of their younger costars, particularly the expressive and tender Malone (who had similar roles in Life As a House and Donnie Darko). Because of this, one can't help but to cut Altar Boys a little slack, even if Peter Care's direction is a tad on the heavy-handed side, all too often going for blunt emotional cues and failing to convince the audience why or how, exactly, the cougar plays into it all. (top) (back)

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THE DEEP END - B+
Starring: Tilda Swinton, Goran Visnjic, Jonathan Tucker, Raymond J. Barry, Josh Lucas, Peter Donat, Tamara Hope, Holmes Osborne
Directed by: David Siegel, Scott McGehee
Suspense, 99 min (14A) (Fox Searchlight, 2001)

Tilda Swinton gives a stellar, fierce and zestful performance in The Deep End and this absorbing thriller, as slightly far-fetched as it may be, takes its cues from the actress, developing ideas and emotions with a subtle, swimming-just-beneath-the-surface tension. Cowritten and directed by David Siegel and Scott McGehee, The Deep End casts Swinton as Margaret Hall, the earnest Lake Tahoe mother of three children whose husband, a naval officer, spends most of his time at sea. When the dead body of her son's gay lover shows up along the beach, Margaret fears that her offspring (The Virgin Suicides' Jonathan Tucker) was involved and she tries to hide the body, but this only leads to more trouble, namely a charismatic extortionist (sizzling Goran Visnjic, from TV's ER) who shows up trying to blackmail her for $50,000. Throughout the twisty story, Swinton is never less than stunning - marked by an escalating desperation to save her son, keep secrets and find someone with whom she can share an overload of emotions - and Siegel and McGehee's muted tone (complemented by some exemplary watery cinematography) works marvelously in illustrating just how motivating, calculated and all-consuming the maternal will can be. (top) (back)

DELIVER US FROM EVA - C-
Starring: Gabrielle Union, LL Cool J, Essence Atkins, Robinne Lee, Meagan Good, Dartanyan Edmonds, Mel Jackson, Duane Martin
Directed by: Gary Hardwick
Comedy, 106 min (PG) (Universal, 2003)

Gabrielle Union last partnered with writer-director Gary Hardwick in 2001's The Brothers and, despite the familiarity of the material, the film provided the sunny Union with an opportunity to sparkle. Unfortunately, any goodwill the duo developed with The Brothers is thrown out the window with Deliver Us From Eva, a cruel and stereotypical reworking of The Taming of the Shrew. Union gives a strained and sour performance here as Eva, a strict health inspector with incredible control over the lives of her three sisters, often sabotaging their relationships to the disappointment and frustration of the men in their lives. Enter rapper LL Cool J (here billed as James Todd Smith) as a smooth-talking, well-buffed ladies man hired by Eva's brother-in-laws and wannabe brother-in-law to bring Eva under control. Since LL Cool J and Union have an easy chemistry, Deliver Us From Eva turns out to be one of those few films that would have actually been superior had it followed traditional romantic comedy blueprints. Instead, there's the unwieldy backdrop of deception and blackmail that only gets more irritating and mean-spirited as the film moves forward. For a better Shrew adaptation, stick to 1999's 10 Things I Hate About You. (top) (back)

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DETROIT ROCK CITY - C-
Starring: Edward Furlong, Giuseppe Andrews, Sam Huntington, James De Bello, Lin Shaye, Natasha Lyonne, Melanie Lynskey, Shannon Tweed
Directed by: Adam Rifkin
Comedy, 95 min (18A) (New Line, 1999)

Die-hard KISS fans who still believe that the band's loud and crude rock 'n' roll tunes are heaven on Earth are bound to enjoy Detroit Rock City. Everyone else is advised to proceed with caution because Detroit Rock City is essentially a KISS promotional tool posing as a movie and, by about the mid-way mark, even the film's minor pleasures have gone the way of the 1970s. Telling the story of four Midwestern high school kids (led by American History X's Edward Furlong) who have formed their own KISS cover band and whose lifelong dream is to attend a KISS concert, Detroit Rock City earns points for its rockin' soundtrack, early scenes of rock 'n' roll spirit and non-nostalgic look at the '70s, but the film wears out its welcome about as quickly as the latest teeny-bopper boy band thanks to predictable scenes too innumerable to count and lazy screenwriting that shamelessly cribs from pictures like Porky's and American Pie and aims for extremely obvious targets like disco music and religious fanatics. (top) (back)

DICK - B-
Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Michelle Williams, Dan Hedaya, Will Ferrell, Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch, Teri Garr, Harry Shearer, Ryan Reynolds
Directed by: Andrew Fleming
Comedy, 94 min (14A) (Columbia Tristar, 1999)

All the President's Men (1976) may have you thinking otherwise, but this inspired comedy reveals the truth about the Watergate scandal: Behind the work of Washington Post reporters Woodward and Bernstein were the efforts of two endearingly dim teenagers (Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams) who stumbled upon the scandal and leaked details of the conspiracy without realizing - for the most part - what was going on. Needless to say, Dick's greatest pleasures lie in its tweaking of all we know about the Watergate players and, though the film is not as witty as it would like to be (there are too many sophomoric gags for that), the cast is an absolute delight, particularly Dunst, Williams, Clueless' Dan Hedaya as Nixon and Will Farrell and Bruce McCulloch as Woodward and Bernstein. (top) (back)

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DIE ANOTHER DAY - B-
Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Judi Dench, John Cleese, Toby Stephens, Rosamund Pike, Samantha Bond, Michael Madsen, Rick Yune
Directed by: Lee Tamahori
Action, 132 min (14A) (MGM, 2002)

The last couple of 007 films - 1999's The World is Not Enough and 1997's Tomorrow Never Dies - were commandeered by directors who weren't all that comfortable with winking action. Die Another Day's Lee Tamahori, however, is clearly willing to have fun with a franchise and make clever nods to Bond's past (if anything, the Once Were Warriors and Along Came a Spider director has too much fun). In Die Another Day, Pierce Brosnan once again proves that he was born to seduce and smirk as James Bond and the film does a fairly good job of humanizing its hero, opening with a secret agent failure that leaves him as a victim of torture in North Korea. It isn't too long, though, before it is back to the basics - fast cars, fast women, cool gadgets, cheesy sexual innuendo - as Bond is stripped of his license and jets around the world in pursuit of a diamond billionaire (Toby Stephens) intent on building a really big laser in space. Oscar-winner Halle Berry is too self-conscious as Bond girl Jinx and the story unfortunately turns into a goofy cartoon in the third act, but it is comforting to see a long-running series - unlike, say, Star Trek - that still understands the importance of simply providing a good time, logic be damned. (top) (back)

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THE DISH - B
Starring: Sam Neill, Patrick Warburton, Billie Brown, Roy Billing, Taylor Kane, Genevieve Mooy, Kevin Harrington, Tom Long
Directed by: Rob Sitch
Comedy, 101 min (PG) (Warner Bros., 2001)

Neil Armstrong's monumental moon-walk is often considered to be an all-American moment in history but, as this gentle and warmly nostalgic film points out, nobody on Earth would have been able to witness the live lunar steps were it not for a group of small-town Aussies manning a radio-telescope dish in the middle of a sheep field. Based on the real-life events that led up to July 20, 1969, this light comic tale focuses on the group of men - led by a Mr. Rogers-esque Sam Neill and an American NASA geek (Seinfeld's Patrick Warburton) - in charge of the massive dish that, at the time, was the largest of its kind in the Southern Hemisphere. Dish director Rob Sitch last brought us the exceedingly wacky The Castle and, because of this, it wouldn't have been surprising if he had taken a similarly campy approach to this story. Thankfully, however, the daftness is kept to a suitable level and is primarily limited to supporting characters like the dim security guard and excitable mayor (Roy Billing), with the bulk of the wackiness well tempered with affecting performances and a likeable "no worries, mate" attitude. The Dish does come up a little empty in terms of gripping drama, but its heart and undeniable Australian charm are in the right places. (top) (back)

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DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD - C-
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ellen Burstyn, Ashley Judd, Maggie Smith, Fionnula Flanagan, James Garner, Shirley Knight, Angus MacFadyen
Directed by: Callie Khouri
Drama, 116 min (14A) (Warner Bros., 2002)

Deep fried in Southern eccentricity and melodrama to the point that it nearly causes indigestion, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood illustrates just what happens when an influential screenwriter gets overwhelmed by her directorial debut, namely performances and story points that are all across the board (in this case, the victim is Callie Khouri, who scripted 1991's Thelma and Louise). Based on a 1996 best-seller by Rebecca Wells and often resembling little more than a hodgepodge of How to Make An American Quilt, Fried Green Tomatoes, The Joy Luck Club, Steel Magnolias, Now & Then, Riding in Cars With Boys and so on, this comedy-drama focuses on the complex relationship between Sidda (Sandra Bullock), a Manhattan playwright, and her moody mother Vivi (Ellen Burstyn). Sick of the fighting, Vivi's lifelong friends (Maggie Smith, Fionnula Flanagan and Shirley Knight) kidnap Sidda and take her home to Louisiana to help her get a clearer picture of her mother's past. Unfortunately, Khouri is unable to sift any real emotion out of the muddled performances, with an overwrought Ashley Judd milking her scenes as a young Vivi and the obvious performances by the older actresses almost approaching camp. (top) (back)

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