|
Q: |
How do you get two
flutes to play in perfect unison? |
|
A: |
Shoot One |
| |
|
|
Q: |
What is "Perfect
Pitch"? |
|
A: |
When you lob a
clarinet into a toilet without hitting the rim |
| |
|
|
Q: |
How can you tell
which kid on the playground is a trombonist's kid? |
|
A: |
He can't swing and
he complains about the slide |
| |
|
|
Q: |
If you were lost in
the woods, who would you trust for directions: an in-tune tenor sax player,
an out of tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus? |
|
A: |
The out of tune
tenor sax player, the other two indicate you are hallucinating |
| |
|
|
Q: |
How do you make a
trombone sound like a French horn? |
|
A: |
Stick your hand in
the bell and play all the wrong notes |
| |
|
|
Q: |
So, what is the
range of a tuba? |
|
A: |
About 20 Yards if
you have a good arm |
| |
|
|
Q: |
What do you call
someone who hangs out with musicians? |
|
A: |
A Drummer |
| |
|
|
S: |
"Hey Buddy, How
late does the Band play?" |
|
R: |
"Oh about half a
beat behind the drummer" |
| |
|
|
Q: |
What’s the
difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? |
|
A: |
Lawnmowers sound
better in small ensembles and the neighbors are upset if you borrow a
lawnmower and don't return it |
| |
|
|
Q: |
How to trumpet
players traditionally greet each other? |
|
A: |
"Hi. I'm better
than you" |
| |
|
|
Q: |
How do you know
when a trumpet player is at your door? |
|
A: |
The doorbell
shrieks |
| |
|
|
Q: |
What is the Dynamic
range of a trombone? |
|
A: |
On or Off |
| |
|
|
Q: |
What do you get
when you cross a French horn player and a goal post? |
|
A: |
A goal post that
can’t march |
| |
|
|
Q: |
How do horn players
traditionally greet each other? |
|
A: |
"Hi, I played that
Last year" and "Hi, I did that piece in junior high” |
| |
|
|
Q: |
How do you know
when a drummer's at your door? |
|
A: |
The door bell drags |
