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Here is my ever-growing collection of some of the best clean lawyer jokes that I've come across. If you are a lawyer, please try not to be too offended; and remember, it's just words... unless they're true. At any rate, feel free to send me any jokes that you may have, and I'll post them here as well.

Click Below for a Printable Version of a Joke:

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Golf Round
Promotion
Valentine Cards
Three Questions
Jerk!
Operate
Truck Driver
My Dad's a Lawyer
Reckless Drivers
What Do You Do?
How Do You Feel?
Courtroom Quotes
Pearly Gates
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Funny Courtroom Conversations

     Unbelievable, but these are from a book called "Disorder in the Court". These are things people actually said in court, word for word:

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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