7-27-01
I'm sorry if I'm not the person that anyone thought that I was, but I'm only me, and I always have been. There's something to be said for accepting what you are; I have done so. I've never been anyone else. I'm sorry if you thought I was. I'm happy with my life, I'm happy with me. The end. *smile*
4-22-01
This is my place to ramble so, here's a converation I had with Brian (mod boy) on ICQ tonight. Enjoy it. ;)
Thelonius 4/22/200 11:31 PM so now i'm interested in the familial themes in the godfather.
mod boy 4/22/200 11:32 PM How so?
Thelonius 4/22/200 11:35 PM well obviously the movie was very much about the family, and family values. no one really thinks about the violence of the acts they're committing, but only really thinks about the good (or the bad) the acts do for the family. right?
mod boy 4/22/200 11:35 PM Right.
Thelonius 4/22/200 11:37 PM well there's a major difference between how vito and michael corleone run things. vito is very concerned with the family over everything. business is a concern, but family comes first. michael, however, separates very distinctly business from personal matters. business comes first for him; he shuts his wife entirely out of business matters, such that she's not even supposed to know about it at all.
mod boy 4/22/200 11:40 PM Very true.
Thelonius 4/22/200 11:43 PM so people today were saying that this is a sort of theme, that it's a commentary on how michael represents a different set of standards. an interesting thing to note is that it requires violence to move over to this new form of standards
but see i think that's missing a crucial fact. by the time michael steps in, there's hardly any family left. and, one thing i noticed tonight, it's not until vito dies that michael starts to be business only. he doesn't kill carlo until vito is dead. this is because with vito still alive, there's still enough family that matters. with vito's death, all that is left is carlo -- a traitor, connie -- married to a traitor, fredo -- who obviously doesn't care about the family, and kay -- who, i am sure, michael doesnt' really love.
mod boy 4/22/200 11:50 PM Exactly. Vito and Sonny are both dead, the head of the family and his assumed successor. Tom doesn't quite count as family, but he's a good business partner. And women, to be honest, had no place in the family business. They may have known about it, but they couldn't affect what happened.
And the violence wasn't -necessary-, per se, but rather an indication of Michael's shift from his father's outdated business practices to a more modern form of organized crime. Vito kept out of drugs and other business ventures which were becoming the new way of doing business, preferring the older and more reliable ways. Michael realized that the family could never continue that way, and felt obligated to make one final series of actions to illustrate that this was truly a transition for the Corleone family.
Thelonius 4/22/200 11:52 PM but, michael DID value the 'legitimate' business, and wanted to get out of the crime thing. to move from crime to legit, he had to go through a series of violent acts. these violent acts are incredibly symbolic. of something. i dunno what.
mod boy 4/22/200 11:57 PM But he's still using criminal means to achieve his legit ends. Maybe that's the point.
Thelonius 4/22/200 11:58 PM true. very true.
it's also interesting that he really and truly doesn't love his wife. Vito, very certainly, does. we see this in part 2..
mod boy 4/23/200 12:00 AM He doesn't at all. But he needs her to complete the illusion of the family.
Well spoken, Brian. Yeah this is incoherent, completely useless stuff, but it was requested by someone very dear to me that I post up a journal entry, so it has been done.
3-25-01
It's been a while. My apologies.
I wish I had something profound or interesting to say, something that's been going on in my life. But I really don't have anything. I will say this: Sometimes just having someone drop by, or just talking to someone on the phone means all the world. Can't even explain why that is.
I've realized once again the brilliance of The Crow. It is such a great, great film, with so many great lines. "He got himself perished." "Go ahead, Fun Boy. You got me dead bang." "He's prob'ly upstairs bangin' on Darla!" Bah, I could go on all day. ;)
I played a lot of Counter-Strike today. A wonderful waste of time. ;)
I've been listening to At the Drive-in a lot, too. A good CD.
Song of the day:
The Great Mighty Poo theme song from Conker's Bad Fur Day. Whee!!!
3-5-01
Happy spring break to me. I get to sleep and do very little for a week, and hang out with my friendly type people at home that I know and love. It's all good and exciting. Yay.
So I probably don't have a lot that's worth saying tonight, on account of I really don't do that much worth mentioning. ;) Ah well. You'll have that.
I'm still tooling around with HTML. I'll keep doing stuff until someone tells me to stop. So there. ;)
2-26-01
Ha! Today was fun. It was very pretty outside today for the better part of the day, which as awesome and productive. Let me try to think of what I did other than go to class...well, I did some phone calling and got a situation nailed down with the office at WEHR, which is actually quite important. Unfortunately the person I called hasn't gotten back in touch with me, so I'm going to have to hound him again tomorrow. Makes me feel sorta bad always bothering people, but hey, I gotta do what I gotta do.
I also watched Junkyard Wars and Invisible Man with Liz and Liz. That was kinda cool and weird. ;)
Ha! I've reached a final decision on the new opening page..which y'all saw when you came in, unless you've got this page bookmarked directly. I'll go ahead and redo all the other pages in due order...any votes as to which one should get re-html'd first?
My choice of song for the day is by Tool, and what better time for it? The new Tool album comes out April 17th so I'm getting a little antsy..this one's called Eulogy. Whee!
2-25-01
Sorry it's been a few days since I last updated. Things have gotten a bit hectic I guess. Or maybe I'm just a slacker. ;) One way or another..
Big things that happened lately? Greater Philadelphia Philosophy Consortium on Saturday. Translation: A bunch of philosophy undergrads gather together to read papers to one another and talk about..well..philosophy. I read a paper on education, which was fun. I think it went over fairly well. It was interesting to hear everyone talking..and it made me feel proud that I understood the majority of the papers very well. Some of them were very good and made me jealous. ;) I got to be a 'moderator' for one of the little groups of philosophers, which basically meant I introduced people. That was rather amusing, to me. *grins* Well, that's that story..
Today I have had a headache since I woke up. You know what though? It really wasn't bad until now..but I think it's going away..which is awesome. I have a lot of reading to do this week, but I'm really, really happy because next week is spring break!
Tonight I left my apartment to go get a sub..and it was beautiful outside. The temperature was just perfect, the air tasted and smelled beautiful, and the sky was perfect. It was clear and dark but it wasn't black, it was dark, dark blue. I could see the moon and just one really bright star and it was just..brilliant. I'll forget it all tomorrow. But it was just great. I'm glad that I got to see it, that's for sure.
On Friday I went to see Dancer in the Dark, which is the movie that Bjork stars in. It has put me into a 'listening to Bjork' mood, too. It was a great movie, which was a very happy thing for me to discover. So tonight I recommend y'all go find a way to see that movie..it's very sad, but I really, really enjoyed it. The music is great too..the CD is called Selmasongs and I have loved it since I bought it. ;) I bought it when Radiohead's Kid A came out (instead of Radiohead) and still think it's a better CD. Don't tell anyone I said that though. It's a secret.
So the song for the day is my least favorite song by A Perfect Circle, Sleeping Beauty. It may be my least favorite song by them, but it's still a great song, and I'll be seeing them exactly two weeks from today..which is just friggin' awesome. Whee!
2-19-01
We played bloody knuckles this past weekend. My hands and the hands of others are nicely destroyed. I'm not sure if my fascination with this game is because of my fascination with pain, or the sheer fun of the, I suppose, adrenaline rush involved in any game where you can hurt other people. Thing is I didn't want to hurt them..but at the same time, I accepted that the result of my actions were hurting others...well, I can't figure out my reasons -- I suppose I'm no psychoanalyst. But it was a fun time. *snickers* And, by the way, we played the kind with quarters...not the kind where you just sorta punch each other..
My song for the day, merely because I have it stuck in my head, is No Dumb Wrong by Pushmonkey. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
2-18-01
The meaning of life is a nice cold glass of water and a soft chair. Yeah!! Rock!!! Tomorrow I'll get up in the morning..go to class..go do WEHR related stuff..go to class..go to class..come home and have a nice cold glass of water and sit in a soft chair. How can I go wrong with that?!? It's actually physically impossible!! Hurray!!!
Hah! The third season of Sifl and Olly is going to be released on video for sale on their official website! Really, how can that be bad? That's friggin' awesome...so I'm tickled pink.
Song for the day? Dark Center of the Universe by Modest Mouse. Whee!!
2-15-01
Well since I have to get up earlier than usual tomorrow, I'm dreading the morning. Whee!! I shouldn't complain though. I've been very lucky about my class schedule.
Let me think if I've anything interesting to say. Nah. I just don't feel like making any decisions anymore, so my new rule is no decisions. You can decide for me. *grins*
Song of the day would have to be Same Solution by Nothingface. Whee!!
2-14-01
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! It feels good to have turned in that damned paper I was working on all day yesterday and today. And I had a quality day. Thanks to all the people who called me today. You all rock. Okay so mostly none of the people who called me today will read this. But those of you who do: You rock!
I had a fun radio show tonight, which just makes me very proud that we are working so hard to make the radio station what it should be. My theme for today was of course related to Valentine's Day: Sex, Love, and Ecstasy. It was silly. ;)
So my song for the day is by Earwig and it's called Best Kept Secret. It may not apply to what my day was like today, but certainly I find myself sympathizing with it. Peace out. ;)
2-13-01
I'm running on empty..I've had a very busy day. I've really had no time to relax, so I'm going to get some sleep now. Whee!! It's late!!
2-12-01
My song for the day is called Somewhere, and it's by Soundgarden.
Be careful what you wish for..
I'm wearing a Spider-Man shirt today. It's soft and fuzzy. Someday when I have a Spider-Man tattoo, I'll be overly Spider-Man'ed out in my t-shirt, gloves, tattoo, and possibly next to my poster and comic collection. Hell maybe for good measure I'll hold a copy of the existentialism paper I wrote about him. It will be mad scary, but I will be happy. People will call me obsessed. I just think I'm a fan.
Speaking of papers, I got into this philosophical conference type thing, where I have to read a paper in front of a bunch of fellow philosophers. I gotta tell you, it's kind of intimidating. I know that I will be blushing. Hopefully it'll work out alright though.. *sighs*
Random happening of the day: Watched a little bit of Junkyard Wars and Invisible Man. Good stuff..
2-12-01
This weekend was interesting, confusing, and rather seminiferous. Friday I worked on stuff for WEHR from 10 am to about 8 pm. It was actually a lot of fun, and quite productive as far as the office there is concerned, but I didn't get a lot of school work done, which is bad. I also saw Hannibal on Friday, which was fun. Not as good as the book but hey, what do you expect? The book is about 600 pages long, the movie is about two hours...that really isn't a fair comparison to make. On its own right it was worth watching. Not boring. So there. =P
We also played Pictionary, which is always fun.
Saturday I bought and played MegaMan X5 for the majority of the day. I also watched Reindeer Games and Scary Movie. Today..well, I did nothing.
I'm having a really hard time caring about school..I need a kick in the ass to set me right again..and I don't see one coming.. *sigh*
E is for Europe, and R's for Rockin' Ja..
Gonna go to sleep. My song for the day is Plush by Stone Temple Pilots. Oi!
2-8-01
My meaningful song for the day is Better Place by VAST
Oh my I had a crazy day today..had a german test, which was unbelievably easy, oddly. Had a couple good classes...got to eat cookies and some good blue Fruit Roll-Up-age. Okay so then I came home and did some HTML-ing..secrets to be revealed later. Then I purchased a couple albums and had dinner with Laura, which was a good time, I must say. Then it was time for music committee, which entailed mad planning for a radio station meeting we plan next week..and everything seems to be a pain in the ass in the WEHR office so..of course...we gotta try to get it all fixed and organized. *shrugs* All in good time.
So having said all that..I'm also thinking a lot lately about how important philosophy is to my life, and how likely it is that I might not be alive if not for it..who really knows, though, I suppose... *shrugs* At any rate I just want to say this: I have a lot of work to do, and I don't know how to do it all. *chuckles* Typical college problem..I suppose.
Random happening: Sat in WEHR office trying to find a way to figure out our phone number...
2-7-01
Meaningful song of the day..how about Somewhat Damaged, by Nine Inch Nails.
Here's the deal. I'm an easily confused boy. Is there something wrong with that? I dunno. It takes me a couple times reading to really grasp something, and I cannot read people. People change their minds about things and it just confuses the hell out of me. Somehow I'm supposed to understand, and to be understanding...how the heck does someone pull that off? Ah well...I try...
Random thing of the day: Frog masks and Spider-Man tattoos.
2-6-01
Song for today is: Doin' the Cockroach.
Tonight I shall sleep.
2-5-01
Song of the day: Lying Awake, Our Lady Peace.
I gotta start sleeping folks. Maybe that'd help me go to class. Maybe I'd start caring. *shrugs*
On a lighter, happier note, I had dried beef casserole today, which is my favorite meal. It isn't the same when I don't eat it with my mom.. *sigh*
2-4-01
Went home for the weekend. I thought that I might be able to post from my computer there. It has died. Let us sing a dirge for it, and move along with our lives. We'll all be better off.
Song with meaning currently: Demons by Guster.
I'm reading Hannibal by Thomas Harris. It's disturbing but I like it. It makes me feel inadequate in a way. I cannot write like this man. I will never be able to write like this man. I feel this way when I read a lot of people's works. But it does not lessen my enjoyment of the book anyway.
I'm tired and cranky. I will write more tomorrow.
2-1-01
Well I got to fill in for someone else's (radio) show tonight, and surprisingly I think it was a better show than my own show was last night. That's sort of sad. ;) Today's 'meaningful song of the day' is Alarm Call, by Björk. She rocks. That one's off of Homogenic, by the way.
So I have figured out that I really have no mental visual imagery. I seem to be really good with all of my other senses but the visual one simply doesn't work. Is that why I walk around in awe of the trees, of the beauty of the sky, and of the grass? Is that why I'm stunned by the beauty of certain people every time I see them again? I dunno, I suppose the answer will have to be yes.
I get to go home tomorrow, which I'm quite excited about. I get to see people that I love, which is awesome (even if I can't remember what they look like :P). Spend some time with the fam and such, then head back to school to do more work. A good weekend had by all.
Random thing that happened today: I changed my sheets. This is kinda sad cause I love my dinosaur sheets but I have decided to take them home with me this weekend and wash them so..gonna sleep on some boring ol' blue ones tonight..still, that means clean sheets tonight and when I get back from home! Yay!
1-31-01
Gonna do this 'meaningful song of the day' thing every day, at least until I get bored of it. So today's song is Flood, by Tool.
I got to do my radio show today, which is oodles of fun. I don't know why I enjoy it so much, but I do. I could sit in that little room and play music for hours at a time..I am always disappointed when the next people show up.
I noticed some trees today that were reaching across the street to try to touch each other. Yeah, yeah, I know they weren't really trying to reach each other. But they had grown across the street..which had to have taken decades. I thought about this, about how much these trees were circumventing the unnatural, dead concrete of the streets separating them, and for some reason it made me happy. =)
Random thing that happened today: I got the Hollow promo-only single! Shh..don't tell anyone.. I'm so very happy..
1-30-01
You can't keep a good dog down, friends. Or is that stubborn dog. Yeah, probably the second thing. Anyway, I'm back, so there!
Sometimes when you can listen to a song five hundred times and then it'll suddenly mean something completely different to you. The particular song I'm thinking about now is by Jimmie's Chicken Shack, it's called Waiting. And no, I'm not gonna put the lyrics up here. You can go find them yourself, or ask me for them. ;)
Apparently on some radio stations (I know for sure in Pittsburgh) they're playing the Tool song Maynard's Dick (the hidden track on Salival) and calling it Maynard's Dead. Now this just makes me crack up laughing..considering that it contains such lines as 'took you out in back of the toolshed/put it right on top of your forehead/took you out in back of the toolshed/now you know what you're fuckin' with...Maynard's dick." Undoubtedly they are not censoring this out if they're calling the song Maynard's Dead..oh my. Something about this strikes me as just being classic.
I've been looking at trees a lot lately. Can't wait till they get leaves...
Random thing that happened today: I had a mint which apparently contained the caffeine content of three cups of coffee or something. This led to a discussion in another class about how the more coffee is brewed, the less caffeine there actually is in a drink. This means that dark, heavy coffee and espressos actually have less caffeine than some lighter coffees..this I wouldn't have known, as I don't drink coffee. And yes, the lack of caffeine in my diet did mean that this one little mint made me fidgety all day long. *chuckles*
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