All these events are over. If you missed one, we have this to say to you: "Neener neener ha ha!"
Lukewarm Mayonnaise Day
September 16
Come celebrate the wonders of room-temperature condiments. Free food will be provided.
Lecture: Causes of Decreased Lecture Attendance
September 22, 4 a.m.
Professor Meeker will explain why you didn't come to hear him talk.
Cryogenics Film Series: Frozen Hamburger
September 30, 5:30 p.m.
A documentary about how hamburger freezes and what happens if it doesn't.
Lecure: Gosh, that hurts!
October 14, 7:45 p.m.
Professor Meeker will explore the different expressions people use to express different levels of pain. Bring a friend and a needle!
Warning: This lecture will involve lots of swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain.
Concert: White Willard
October 22, 18:30 p.m.
Performing songs from their new album, Do You Believe In Gary Coleman?, and such favorites as "B flat major scale," "The song that kind of sounds like 'Louie Louie,'" and "We forgot to turn our amps on."
Corning
October 30
Prizes will be given for best escape, largest payload, and most artistic corning.
Taking Candy From Strangers
October 31
Don't worry, it's OK today. Your mother isn't around.
| Meet The Chupacabras November 7 The Chupacabras will be on campus to talk to students, sign autographs, and suck the blood from goats. |  |
December 13
Participants in this event, sponsored by the Campus Communists, will celebrate the communist economic miracle by standing in long lines to get bread.
Holiday Movie: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
December 22
MoMar, MelMar, and their green-painted brethren have kidnapped Santa, hoping to wring holiday cheer from his jolly red belly.
| Current Schedule | Fall 1999 | Spring 2000 |
All material © 1999-2000 by Eemeet Meeker Online Enterprises, except stuff we stole from other people as indicated in the credits.