To be loving is to be conscious as to be hateful is to be unconscious. Being self centered, irresponsible, unaware, and mean spirited are four characteristics of hateful unconsciousness.
Being self-centered is manipulating to get your way. To compromise with others to get your way is still being self centered. To even want your own way is immature and drives you to be self centered.
Being irresponsible is not responding to the needs of others; not engaging in life. Responsibility is something you have to take, voluntarily.
Being unaware is being consumed with your needs exclusively. Not being aware of anything outside of you makes you shallow and capricious.
Being mean spirited is being unkind. You can be sweet, polite, and charming and still be mean spirited. Mean spiritedness leads to bitterness, cruelty, and misery.