"Woof woof," said the dog.
|
      |
We interrupt this web page to bring you an Important Public Service Announcement:
This nutbar has just escaped from the loony bin. Do not attempt to apprehend, but contact the authorities immediately upon sighting. Thank you.
Vital Statistics: Patricia is the first of Dan & Frances' many children!
Always intelligent, when she was a wee bairn, she had more than a wee brain. (Translation: she had a big head!) Patricia has light brown hair with silver highlights. Her eyes are blue. She is of average height and build. She has some freckles. Favorite Things: Patricia likes budgie birds and pugs and cooking doughnuts (a talent which endears her to all). When Patricia can't sleep, she likes to watch Star Trek Insurrection.Her favorite TV show is Deep Space Nine, because she has this thing for Avery Brooks. She will park herself directly in front of the television, watching intently the whole time he’s on, muttering, “My god, that Avery Brooks is just so... so incredible!!!” or she’ll be yelling at the characters on screen, “Listen to him, you fools! It’s Avery Brooks!” If you ask Patricia what her best feature is, she will say, “My delicate elbows.”
I cannot mention her high school years here, because I don't want to give her kids any ammo. But it was an interesting time for her. She once dated a grave robber. (Oh, all right - he was a cemetery vandalizer, not a grave robber.) After high school, Patricia met and married some Claude. As you can see by the wedding photo, their marriage took place in the 1980s. Patricia is the typical Taurus and likes to have lots of things. For example, Patricia has one husband, one house, one car, one minivan, one truck, four kids and four birds, as well as two televisions, two washrooms, and an untold number of household knick-knacks. She also has three brothers and three sisters, and right now has $157 in her wallet.Relevant Patricia-Related Links:
Vital Statistics: Claude was born on March 12. That makes him a Pisces (e.g., a soft-hearted, weepy fish-boy). Claude is tall. He has brown hair. He has two eyes and wears glasses and walks upright. Favorite Things: Claude is a big fan of the Philadelphia Flyers and NASCAR racing. His favorite show is The Dukes of Hazzard because (in his own words) "they have those cool cars". In his spare time, he likes to plant things in the garden and drill for oil. Things to Know About Claude: Though Claude has an "e" on the end of his name, it is pronounced "clod".
Claude also used to be a race car driver, but since he hit it big in the oil fields, he has now retired from the racing circuit.
His friend Trevor has a cute pug named Mickey. One day, Claude will steal Mickey. Relevant Claude-Related Links:
Charlotte's POV: I like visiting their house. I can run around and eat all the toys that the kids leave lying around. There is also lots of food to be found under Ryan's chair.
This page was last updated on 01/05/04. Graphics provided by Animation Factory. |
She was born on May 7.
That makes her a Taurus (e.g., a stubborn and greedy bull).
Things to Know About Patricia:
Like JR Ewing, Claude is a rich and ruthless oil
tycoon. However, like
Blake Carrington, he is looking for oil in Denver, Colorado.
(Coincidence? I don't think so. Patricia has begun to dress like
Krystal.) He is a relief "tool push". What is a tool
push? It is a guy who pushes tools around for money.