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OSHO Ashram |
The Book of Mirdad |
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I have spent more than 17 months in India. It has been good to be there, specially since the best time to be there was in November, December, January, when winter was hitting Holland hard. First time I went there, I was 20 years old. I used the money that I got for studying (the Art school I wanted to go to, didn't want me) to go Poona (Pune). OSHO, previously known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, was living there in his ashram. To be precise, he just came back from the USA, where he was evicted, and stayed in Bombay, giving Darshan there every night. The Ashram was being prepared for his return, although nobody knew where he would go. It seemed most of the countries in the world didn't want him. |
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I stayed in the ashram in Poona. It was quiet there. Only a few local
Indian sannyassins and a few western, were staying there. To go to one of
the nights with OSHO, you had to wait a week. So for me, I was traveling up and down to Bombay once a week. In the ashram I did some cleaning,
worked in the kitchen, in the dark room printing his pictures, meditation,
and played around with a friend I met there, and some girls. It was a
beautiful time. No big organization, no tourists... Just the lush green
ashram, and its very friendly Indian sannyassins.
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It was the second time I met OSHO. First time was in Oregon. But there I
was not a sannyassin yet, and I sat totally in the back of the Buddha hall,
when there was Satsang. I laid down and slept, while he was silently
sitting there with his eyes closed. Now, there were only a hundred people
in the room, and he was sitting right in front of me. It was confronting.
A god? a man? enlightened? and who am I to sit here? What am I expected to
be or do? The long talks were tiresome, and afterwards I left straight for
the night bus for Poona again, where the playground was quiet, and my
friends, and the girls were waiting...
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It was an awesome time. I dated the most beautiful girl. I sat outside her room, quiet. I didn't say a word. There was something between her and me, and she knew also. She had to invite me in. The silence and the love. That was it. For a few weeks we dated. Then she left, both knowing we might never see each other again. And it was good.
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I was meditating an hour a day, Vipassana, beside the Dynamic meditation, and sometimes the Kundalini. Vipassana I practiced for 8 years, every day at least an hour. I wanted to become enlightened. Every time I would come back to be with him, it was a miracle. Beside me feeling lonely, fear for women coming up, the steps I took to overcome these and the presence of Bhagwan, gave me lucid dreams. Yes, I had an issue with women. My mother was quit threatening to me, in her advances to make love to me. I was scared of her as a kid, and not very welcome as I grew older, unless I was the way she wanted me to be, a part of her little communities, fixing things. Now I was fixing myself.
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On one occasion, I was meditating, but I realized how much I wanted to be with a woman. I realized how scared I was to go for one, or taking care of my needs and pursuing my dreams. After an immense struggle inside of me, realizing I was a coward not to go out, I decided to ask the first woman I would meet inside the ashram, if I could hold her bud. Just think of it! How silly. But I went of. As I entered the ashram, I became scared. Scared of rejection, shaking, terrified. It was quiet, and the first girl I saw, I knew from The Hague. That was easy. Too easy. I had to ask a stranger. So I walked on. Then there she was. Walking alone, no chance of a big embarrassment, so.... I hesitated. Sweating and trembling I sat down, in turmoil. I don't know how I did it, in a almost black-out I asked her. She had to laugh. Sure, she said. And we hugged. Wow, such a nice ass. Now I had to go on. So I did. One after the other. Yes! I won!
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 We found this skull at the graveyard...
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More to come...
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One day we were walking towards Prems, a restaurant near the Ashram,
when looking down from the bridge, we saw a human skull laying next
to the river. Sonya wanted to have it, so we walked down, me
stampeding to scare the snakes, a bit worried about this little
awkward find. The skull was battered; a big hole in the top of the
head made it less interesting to her. I was quiet happy about
that.
After dinner we passed the shop with the Kashmiri merchants, and we were offered a cup of chai. We told our story. They told us it was very easy to get skulls at the local graveyard, not so far from here, next to the river. So we went of, in the middle of the night, with a few torches. At the graveyard there were all bones and skulls laying around. Came to be that many Indian christians didn't have the money to buy their grave for many years, so whenever someone needed to be burried, the hole was dug just anywhere, and the bones were thrown around... We looked around to find matching skulls with their jaws, both having most of their teeth still in... We found three, and Sonya took them with her... |
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Dilgo Kyentse
Rinpoche Tulku
With Tischa
