Here's another song idea. The steel puppies gave it to Limp Bizkit because it's really not their style. It begins: I like to fly my kite / what a pretty sight / in the meadow / all the wind's might / set it to flight / in the meadow. That part is sung by a quiet, sane person without any bad chemicals floating around in him. This next part is sung by L.B.: What the hell's wrong with you? And so on. At the end, the sane person says, Um, nothing.

There's the story about a planet called Fornur. The Fornurians were completely unable to say or even think anything that makes no sense. There was no religion or concept of God on their planet. There was also no music, no art, and no idea of anything like love. An Earthling, a human astro-person, landed there and said, "Hello! I come in peace and good will." The astro-person spoke English, and the syntax alone caused the poor Fornurians within hearing distance to go ka-boom. Their insides were pink and acid green, as expected. Then, the astro-person decided it'd be fun to see what would happen if she played her Beatles CD. Her brain waves when thinking this caused hives to break out on the Fornurians closest to her. Paul McCartney ka-boomed the entire planet. Good bye.

Astro-people can be so silly sometimes. I read a book once about this human girl that was traveling to her parents that lived on some faraway planet. She'd failed out of her Earth school. She got this sparkly thing shaped like a giant turd from this particular type of alien whose entire race had been brutally hurt by other aliens for no particular reason. They were Jewish aliens, sort of. The sparkly turd thing was the aliens' God or soul or whatnot. The point though is that certain human astro-people in this book could see into "hyperspace," whatever crazytalk that is. Apparently, that's how they got around so fast, they went in "hyperspace." "Hyperspace" was swirly and filled with rainbows. Zoom, zoom.

What's the point of debate and good grades and women's suffrage if all I still want is some stupid penis to take care of me? I used to tell stories about my dad divorcing my mother to marry the CEO of his company. She bought him a rally racecar, which he shared with his veteran friends, who were all bums. One got drunk once and totaled the car. My dad's wife was pissed off. She was really ugly. He married her for her money.

As a continuation, my father's therapist called me to tell me I have to love him. His therapist! She called me to tell me that! Can you imagine? She was a Harvard man. They teach Harvard men to be whiny on behalf of terrible parents, I suppose. And she was a Jesus girl too. She said that Jesus says to love your parents. I'm not Christian or anything, but didn't Moses say that? Or was that God Himself?

My mother wants to rename the dog after her ex-husband. Then she wants to kick him. She's mad at the dog and my dad, and even at me sometimes because I just don't care very much for the dog or my dad or Jesus and on and on. I wish she wouldn't rename the dog though. This dog is really sick. It can't stop pooing. It poos all over the place.

My right hand hurts right now. Earlier, my foot hurt so much that I thought I had foot cancer and that I was going to lose it. Aw. I would miss it. Once, in Alice in Wonderland, when she kept getting taller and shorter, and she was tall, she looked down and could hardly see her feet. Alice is crazy, so she felt sorry for them and told them that she will send them a pair of boots. She talked about how to address the package. That still isn't as crazy as how on the radio they have long, involved ads about not drinking and driving (it's spring break) right after beer commercials (it's spring break) and right before car ads (cars exist).

I thought, surely, there is a box that is very curvy and green inside. People crawl in, and then they crawl out. It is a box, after all. The problem is that once a person crawls out of it, he or she is put into some random body somewhere in some random life. The people have no idea where they are or what they are doing. Every person that goes to college is made to crawl into the box. But wait! If a person lets on that he does not know what is going on and why, then drastic measures have to be taken. Usually they are called "crazy" or "psychopathic" and thrown into evil places.

Another time, I dreamt that instead of being intangible pieces of that matter we call "sound," songs were these flying... things. You know? They are furry! People, for reasons they themselves don't understand, shot down songs all the time. Usually, at concerts and near radio stations, there were always these dead things lying around. Ugh, they smell.

Look at all these women that managed to get married. What do you suppose it was that they talked about? Maybe they were just pretty. I joke about how it must have been an ugly woman who first proposed the idea that a woman needs a man "like a fish needs a bike." Maybe the fish has places to go. Beautiful people (fish people?) to converse with. One just never knows.

A man needs a woman like a fish needs... the right amount of salt in the water? Dead fish floating? Anyway, this comparison may be flawed, since so many men are homosexual. I mean, so many.

I saw a movie a few days ago. The main character is a man from some other planet, but not really. Really, he isn't an alien. Really, he is this guy who found his wife and little daughter raped and killed. Then he went crazy. He said that the Universe will grow and grow, and then it will stop growing and collapse, and then grow and grow again, for eternity. We'll live the same lives over and over again, as the Universe grows and collapses over and over. The reason the screenwriters put this line in the script is that they wanted the psychiatrist in the movie to make up with his son, who is a cute hippy in college. But, anyway. I wonder what happens as the Universe shrinks. Do we live our lives in reverse, growing smaller until we become an embryo inside an embryo inside an embryo and on and on? We walk backwards and hear all the subliminal messages for chicken teriyaki in rock 'n' roll songs. We unlearn facts, and we forget people. The sun goes west to east. Anime becomes widely accepted as art by people with taste and culture. Everyone regresses.

Flowers grow into the ground, and potatoes jump into the farmers' hands.

A question boggles the mind. Is this our first time through the run or the billionth? How many times have I written this before?