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Updated on Big Daddy DaveNo news to report this week... The Bear This human marvel was yet again under strict supervision as doctors studied his eating and exercice patterns do determine how it was possible for him to grow a solid piece of skin from his elbow to his neck whick has an erie resemblence to the body of a flying squirrel. When asked about this by reporters...he simply replied "yew sum' bitch" Lum-Bo-Jack During the winter months, LBJ was rumored to be writing a auto-biography...."I got beat, I got fat...I got married..." A short but horrifying look into a life where no matter what happens, the worst is always still to come... Big Rig After loosing an astonishing amount of weight, Big Rig has allegedly started up a foundation...It's called S.A.S.S.A. Sassa, or Sweaty Ass Syndrome Survivors Association. He gave a short speech to the press, saying: "Why should one more person suffer like I did. Why should one more person get up from the toilet or get out of the shower and have to face the fact that they are too big to reach around and clean there own ass. I know the feeling. All to well... Comm. Green An interesting fact about the commish is that when girls kick him in the balls, he gags....that's not funny, that's stupid, why the fuck would you gag? Isnt that something that you do if your grossed out or sick? Just one more fact leading to the truth.....he's a mut. The Animal Word has it that when it comes to beer, he can keep up with the best of em'...let's just hope that it's not with SWC...(see below) Creeper Rumor has it that the government is hiding a microchip in the abnormally large lump on the throat of the former MWF Intercontinental Champ. Wild Man Nothing new this week... Kamikaze Now a writer for the MWF website, we can really start to see, first hand, what the affects of weed can do to the human brain. Sexy White Chocolate Word on the street it SWC is addicted to chewing tobacco. I guess it's better that he "spits" then to get drunk and jump on car hoods and throw cell phones out windows. Super Fly Jester Spending much of his young life in the circus, Super Fly was deprived of certin necessary things when he was a child. No, not love or attention, im talking about toothpaste and Scope. People claim to have seen him remove a film from his tounge that could burn the crome off a bumper... The Executioner NOw it is believed that he will retire from MWF, I just have two words in response to that...boo hoo? No...who cares. Convicts Miguel J. Cortez took a shower last week. It was a good favor to the community, but seeing that the MWF depended on the foul seaweed stench of his body to locate him, we need your help finding him. So next time you walk past a dumpster or over a manhole, please do the MWF a favor and open it up and see if he's there, we would appreciate it greatly.
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