WWF Survivor Series 1994: It's Time To Meet Your Maker Review By Simon Mulvahney
Live from the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio, Texas.
Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Vince McMahon.
The Teamsters (WWF Tag Team Champions Diesel & Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart & Jeff Jarrett) vs. The Bad Guys (WWF Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog & The Head Shrinkers)
Shawn and Diesel tease dissention coming down the aisle as Shawn steps in front of Diesel and Diesel looks pissed off. 1-2-3 Kid and Jim Neidhart start things off. Sionne appears to be having trouble with his boots on the outside of the ring. Anyway, Neidhart grabs a side headlock and knocks the Kid down with a shoulder block. Neidhart comes off the ropes but the Kid leapfrogs him and hits a dropkick. Neidhart gets up and knocks the Kid down again with a clothesline. Neidhart tags in Jarrett who hammers away on the Kid in the corner and then poses. The Kid takes advantage and kicks Jarrett down. Jarrett goes outside and then flips back into the ring but the Kid gets a two count. The Kid tags in Sionne (boots and all) and he press slams Jarrett. Jarrett regains control with a rake to the eyes and then slaps on a side headlock. Sionne powers out however and whips Jarrett to the corner but gets kicked in the face for his trouble. Jarrett hits a clothesline off the top for two. Jarrett tags in Owen and Sionne tags in the Bulldog. Bulldog overpowers Owen and gets slingshotted into The Bad Guy corner and is hammered on by the faces and then press-slammed by Bulldog. Bulldog gets a sunset flip for two but Owen comes back with an ensugri and tags in Neidhart. Neidhart hammers away on Bulldog but Bulldog regains control and suplexes Neidhart and then tags in Fatu. Fatu nails Neidhart with a flying headbutt but doesn't make the cover 'cause of boot problems. The really should have sorted this boot problem out earlier in the day instead of having Fatu limp around the ring on a live pay-per-view. Neidhart escapes and tags in Jarrett who hammers Fatu from behind. Gorilla points out that if you feet hurt you loose your concentration. Vince agrees. Thanks for that fellas. Fatu hits a powerslam on Jarrett and then tags in Razor. Jarrett runs to the corner and gets a pep talk from Shawn. Razor and Jarrett lock up and Jarrett hits an arm drag. They lock up again and Jarrett pisses Razor off by slapping his head. Jarrett gets a side headlock but Razor nails Jarrett with a right hand and then knock him out of the ring with a clothesline and punks out Diesel too. Back in Jarrett gets another side headlock but Razor powers out and hits Jarrett with a fallaway slam. Razor tags in the Kid and they double team Jarrett. The Kid gets a two count from that. Jarrett comes back with a kick to the chest and he slaps on an abdominal stretch. The Kid reverses the hold buts gets thrown to the outside. Jarrett tries to suplex the Kid back into the ring but it gets reversed and the Kid manages to knock Jarrett down with a kick. The Kid then tags in Fatu and Jarrett tags in Owen. Owen headbutts Fatu a few times and then knocks him down with a leg lariat which gets two. Fatu regains control and hammers away on Owen. Fatu whips Owen into the ropes but he makes the blind tag to Diesel who comes in and destroys Fatu. Diesel 
hits the Jackknife and Fatu is eliminated. The Kid comes in a gets some offence on Diesel but he too is hammered and Jackknifed in short order eliminating the 1-2-3 Kid. Crikey! Sionne comes and guess what? He gets Jackknifed and eliminated. That's three guys in just over a minute. Blimey! Bulldog comes in and hammers away on Diesel in the corner. Diesel comes back with a big boot and the Bulldog heads to the outside. Jarrett and Owen attack Bulldog on the outside and gets counted out. So it's one on five. Razor comes in and gets a quick rollup on Diesel for two. Diesel gets up and pounds away on Razor. Razor comes back and knocks down Diesel. Razor hits a bulldog and gets a two count. Razor continues to hammer Diesel but he comes back with a clothesline which knocks Razor down. Shawn screams at Diesel to hit the Jackknife but pummels Razor instead. Shawn seems pissed at Diesel and continues to tell him to hit the Jackknife. Diesel ignores him and gets rammed into the turnbuckle and slammed. Razor signals for the Razor's Edge but Diesel reverses it with a backdrop and both men are down. Diesel hits a big boot which knocks down Razor. Diesel hits the Jackknife and Shawn wants the tag. Diesel tags in Shawn and get Diesel to hold Razor so he can hit the superkick. However, Razor moves and Shawn hits Diesel with the superkick for the third time in the last few month. Diesel is mega
pissed about this and chases Shawn back to the dressing room. The rest of The Teamsters follow and try to stop Diesel but they get hammered and the whole team is counted out at around 21:36.Winner: Razor Ramon. ***. The match was good but the ending was just stupid. I mean a whole team gets counted out. Give me a break.
Backstage Todd Petingill interviews Shawn Michaels who claims he wants nothing to do with Diesel again, tosses his WWF Tag Team Championship belt down and speeds away in a car. Diesel went on to turn face and win the WWF Championship around three days later at MSG.
The Royal Family (Cheesy, Queasy, Sleazy & Jerry Lawler) vs. Clowns Are Us (Wink, Pink, Dink & Doink The Clown)
I would just like to point out that Cheesy, Queasy, Sleazy, Wink, Pink & Dink are all midget wrestlers. Doink & Lawler start things off. Doink hits an ensugri and Lawler acts pissed off. Man, this match is going to suck. Lawler goes for an ensugri of his own but Doink ducks it. They lockup and Doink gets an armbar. The other clowns come in and beat on Lawler and then the other kings come and stomp over him. See, I told you this would suck. Now Lawler starts screaming at his team members. Monsoon helpfully points out that all of the midget wrestlers names rhyme. How handy! I wonder who thought this crap up. On second thoughts I probably don't want to know. Anyway, Lawler decks Doink and the little kings come and walk over Doink but fall over each other at the end. It just gets worse and worse. And it's only three minutes in. Doink slams Lawler three times and the little clowns cover him for a series of two counts. I wonder what rating I'll give this match. See if you can guess before the end. Lawler repeats the same spot as before but it all goes wrong. The crowd starts to chant "Burger King". Doink puts Dink on his shoulders and Sleazy puts Lawler on his shoulders. It all goes horribly wrong, again, and more crap ensues. Christ this is a bad 
match. I'm sorry that I'm just laying into this match but it is so bad. Lawler nails Doink with something and gains control of the match. Lawler hammers away on Doink for a bit and then the little kings work over Doink in the corner. Lawler tries to whip Doink into the feet of the little kings but it's reversed and Lawler gets nailed. Doink goes for a flying bodypress but Lawler reverses it and pins Doink by holding the tights. Queasy comes in and squares off with Dink. Queasy slaps an armbar on Dink but Dink bites his ass and then he bites Lawler's ass as well. Cheesy goes in against Wink and Wink grabs his beard and tags in Dink. Lawler hammers Wink and Queasy makes the cover and he's gone. I don't have a clue what's going on anymore. Cheesy comes in and hammers Pink. Lawler throws Cheesy on Pink, while Queasy distracts the referee and Pink is gone. More crap ensues and Queasy ends up pinning Dink at 16:08. Winners: The Royal Family. Thank God that's over. DUD. Don't ever watch this match, ever! Utter crap. The little kings turn on Lawler after the match.
Backstage Todd interviews the NEW WWF Women's Champion Bull Nakano who cuts an interview in Japanese. What's the point?
WWF Championship Submission Match: WWF Champion Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund
Both guys have cornermen who are to throw in the towel when they think that the guy who they are representing has had enough. Bret has the British Bulldog as his cornerman and Backlund has Owen Hart. It should also be noted that Bret & Owen's parents are at ringside for this match. More on them later. Monsoon points out that this is the first time that the WWF Championship has been on the line in a submission match. Backlund tries to jump Bret at the belt but gets slammed and hiptossed for his trouble. Backlund bails and takes a breather on the outside while Owen helps him up. Back in and Bret hits a headbutt and Backlund bails again. Bulldog doesn't let him take a breather this time however and throws him back in for more punishment. Bret slaps on a side headlock and works it for a bit. Backlund gets out of it with a suplex but Bret knocks him down and slaps on a chinlock. Backlund powers out again and Bret knocks him down again and hits the side headlock again. Bret rubs is forearm into Backlund's face to piss him off. Backlund gets out and Bret knocks him down again but this time Backlund catches Bret with a Crossface Chickenwing coming off the ropes. Bret counters and goes back to the headlock. Backlund grabs a leg and takes Bret down and makes a cover. And Vince claims the referee was slow to get round for the count. Hang on, isn't this supposed to be a submission match? Bret comes back with some matwork. Backlund grabs another Crossface Chickenwing but Bret hits a belly to belly suplex to break it up. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter but Backlund kicks him away. Bret goes back to the headlock once again. Maybe this should be called a headlock match instead. Bret slaps on an abdominal stretch but Backlund powers out of it. Backlund goes for bodyslam put Bret shifts his weight and lands on Backlund in a pinning position. Vince once again thinks that the referee should make the count but Gorilla points out that it's a submission match. Bret picks up Backlund and knocks him down with a forearm. Bret slams Backlund but Backlund moves out of the way of a Bret Hart elbow. Backlund works over the arm for a bit and then hammers him in the corner. Backlund goes for another Chickenwing but Bret makes the ropes. Backlund takes him down with an armbar and works it for a bit. Bret manages to reverse it but Backlund knocks him to the outside. Backlund follows him but gets hammered. Back in Backlund works over the left arm of Bret for a while. The crowd star to chant "Let's Go Bret!" but power Bret is still being worked over by Backlund. Bret gets back to his feet but is knocked back down again by Backlund. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and goes for the Sharpshooter but Backlund escapes. Bret grabs him again and slaps a Figure Four Leglock on Backlund instead. Backlund tells Owen to throw the towel in but Owen ignores him. 
You see Owen hated Bret so much, at the time, that he couldn't stand it if Bret won the match. So, he didn't throw the towel in. Backlund reverses the hold and Owen tell the Bulldog to throw in the towel but Bulldog says "No way". Bret reverses the hold himself but Backlund make the ropes and Bret brakes it. Bret starts to go to work on Backlund's legs. I wonder how many capital B's are in this match review. Anyway, Backlund regains control and hits a piledriver on Bret and both men are down. Backlund is up first and slaps on the Chickenwing but Bret makes the ropes. I've never understood why the have a rope count in a submission match when there are no DQ's. Strange, isn't it? The crowd get behind Bret once again but Backlund hits a swinging neckbreaker. Backlund works over Bret's arm in the ropes but Bret kicks him in the face to break it. Backlund whips Bret to the corner but misses a shoulder charge. Backlund goes for another backdrop but Bret backdrops out of it. Backlund comes back with a sleeper and wears down Bret with it. Owen looks very pleased on the outside. Bret powers up and throws Backlund into the corner to break it while Owen calls him a cheater. They do the double KO spot and Bret is up first. He legdrops Backlund and hits him with a piledriver of his own. Bret follows it up with a bulldog and a russian leg sweep, which McMahon calls a "backbreaker". Nice one Vince. Bret nails Backlund with a backbreaker for real this time and follows up with and flying elbow. Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter. Owen comes in the ring and Bulldog gives chase. The referee stops the Bulldog from coming in the ring after Owen and Owen nails Bret with a bulldog, the move not Davey. Owen then trips Bulldog up and he goes headfirst into the steps and is knocked out. Owen seems concerned for the Bulldog. Something is afoot. Bret tries to go to help the Bulldog but Backlund sneaks up behind and slaps on the Chickenwing. And so begins the 10 minute chickenwing. Yes really. As far as in ring action is concerned this match is over. Meanwhile Owen starts to cry outside the ring and tries to revive the Bulldog. Bret tries to battle back but it's all in vain as Backlund keeps the hold locked on. Owen tells his parents that he didn't want this to happen, crying all the way through. Owen continues to plead with his parents to throw in the towel on Bret's behalf. He even gets on his knees. Owen manages to get them to come to ringside, stepping over Bulldog on the way. How nice Helen wants to throw in the
towel but Stu is having none of it. Owen continues to beg his parents but Stu still won't do it. Bret still refuses to quit in the ring while Owen continues to plead with his mother to throw in the towel. The crowd starts to get behind Bret again but it's no good. Helen throws the towel in at 35:20. Winner and NEW WWF Champion: Bob Backlund. **1/2. It was a decent enough match but it a bit long. The middle part of the match was pretty good though. Owen gets in the ring after the bell, grabs the towel and runs backstage. Meanwhile, Backlund celebrates his win while Bret is helped out of the ring.
Backstage Todd interviews Owen Hart who gloats about how he caused Bret to lose the WWF Championships and says Bret is a loser. He also calls himself "The best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be".
The Million Dollar Team (Tatanka, Bam Bam Bigelow, King Kong Bundy & The Heavenly Bodies) vs. Guts & Glory (Lex Luger, Mabel, Adam Bomb & The Smoking Gunns)
Lex Luger and Tatanka start things off and Luger gets hammered. Tatanka chops away on Luger but it has no effect. Tatanka regains control with a kick and a suplex but Luger pops back up. Luger hammers away on Tatanka and nails him with an ultra crappy bulldog. Luger follows it up with a couple of clotheslines and then knocks him out of the ring. Back in Luger throws Tatanka into Bam Bam Bigelow and both men go down. Luger tags in Mabel and Tatanka tags in Dr. Tom Pritchard. Mabel overpowers him and then slams him. 
Mabel goes for a splash but misses and Pritchard drops an knee drop. Mabel regains control and backdrops Pritchard. He hit Pritchard with a flying clothesline and Pritchard is eliminated. Jimmy Del Ray comes in but gets sideslammed by Mabel. Del Ray tags in King Kong Bundy and Mabel knocks him down. Bundy tags in Bigelow and he gets hammered too. Mable heads up top but Bigelow slams him down. Bigelow goes to the top and goes for a sunset flip but gets buttdropped instead. Mabel follows it up with a clothesline and both men spill outside of the ring. Mabel knocked his head on the way down and is counted out. Billy Gunn and Del Ray go at it now. My Billy looks different to today I must say. Del Ray gains control with a rake to the eyes and gets a two count. Billy reverse the pin into a backslide for a tow count of his own. The both tag out and Adam Bomb and Bigelow come in. Bomb hammers on Bigelow but misses a clothesline and goes flying out of the ring. Bomb slingshots back in the ring and knocks down Bigelow and hammers on him for a bit. Bomb bounces off the ropes but Bundy whacks him in the back of the head and Bigelow hits a bulldog. Bigelow goes up and hits the moonsault to eliminate Adam Bomb. Luger comes in and gets a quick rollup on Bigelow for two. Luger hammers Bigelow for a bit and then Del Ray tags in. Del Ray pounds on Luger and hits a kneedrop for two.
Del Ray continues to work over Luger and chokes him on the ropes. Luger hits a clothesline and eliminates Jimmy Del Ray. Tatanka comes in but Luger tags in Bart Gunn. Bart dominates and gets a two count. He tags in Billy and they double team Tatanka for another two count. Bart tags back in and continues to beat on Tatanka. Billy tags in and gets a dropkick for two. I thought this match would suck and isn't too bad...so far. Bart tags in again and he gets a two count. Nice teamwork by the Gunns. He tags in Billy and they hit the Sidewinder for two. Tatanka throws Billy into the ropes but he makes the blind tag and Bart comes in. Bart goes for a crucifix but gets Fallaway Slammed and eliminated. Billy comes in and works over Tatanka with a clothesline. Billy tags in Luger and he gets an armbar on Tatanka. He tags in Billy and he slaps on an armbar as well. Luger tags in again and slams Tatanka and drops an elbow. Luger picks him up and he tags in Billy who goes back to the armbar. Tatanka powers out of it and hits Billy with a power bomb and tags in Bundy. Bundy goes for an elbow but misses. Bundy manages to hit an Avalanche in the corner however and eliminates Billy Gunn from the match. So it's now down to Lex Luger vs. Tatanka, Bigelow & Bundy. The heels work over Luger but Luger makes a comeback. It's shortlived however as Bigelow hammers him for a bit. Bigelow hit a suplex for two. Bigelow tags in Bundy and knocks down Luger with an elbow and follows it up with a kneedrop for two. Bundy rams Luger into the boot of Tatanka. Tatanka tags in and beats the crap out of Luger. Tatanka tags in Bigelow and he gets a two count. Bigelow tags in Bundy and he has his way with Luger for a bit too. Bundy rams Luger into the corner and tags in Tatanka who hits a powerslam for two. Tatanka hit three elbow drops but doesn't make the cover. Not a smart move. Tatanka goes for a suplex but Luger reverses it into a small package and Tatanka is eliminated. So now it's two on one. Bundy comes in and hits a body splash and gets the pin eliminating Lex Luger at 23:25. Winners: Bam Bam Bigelow & King Kong Bundy. ** This was actually a pretty decent match. After the match the heels beat on Luger until the faces make the save.
Backstage Todd interviews Bob Backlund and he runs down Bret Hart and promises to bring back morality to the WWF via "Sports Education".
Casket Match: Yokozuna vs. Undertaker (Special Guest Referee: Chuck Norris)
Undertaker point to towards the casket and Yokozuna falls down into the corner. You see the story was that Yokozuna was terrified of caskets and you just had to mention the word to him to scare the shit out of him. Taker hammers Yoko in the corner but Yoko comes back with a splash in the corner which has no effect on Taker. Taker whips him into the rope but he stops dead, pardon the pun, when he sees the casket and the Taker knocks him to the outside. Yoko pulls Taker out of the ring but gets overpowered and rammed into the steps. Back in Taker continues to beat on Yoko and goes for the ropewalk of doom (Old School). Taker
comes of the ropes, misses a clothesline and gets caught with a samoan drop. Yoko follows it up with a clothesline and a couple of headbutts. Yoko tries to put Taker in the casket but he manages to fight him off. Taker goes for an elbow drop but Yoko moves. I doesn't matter thought 'cause, as usual, the Undertaker gets straight back up. Yoko nails him with belly to belly suplex and a legdrop. Yoko stars to drag Taker across to the now open casket and puts him in. Taker stops the lid coming down thought and he drags Yoko in with him and they battle it out in the casket for a bit. Mr. Fuji distracts Taker and he grabs him. Jim Cornett tries to help Fuji but gets nailed instead. Back in Yoko nails the Taker with a scoopslam and beats on him for a bit. Yoko knocks Taker out the ring and rams his head into the steps. Back in Yoko works over the Undertaker for a bit more while Paul Bearer tries to give Undertaker power via the urn. Undertaker comes back some kicks and punches but Yoko takes control again with an irish whip and a clothesline. Taker regains control however and nails him with a flying clothesline from the top rope. Taker starts to roll Yoko towards the open casket but King Kong Bundy starts to wander down the aisle. Bundy and Chuck Norris have a bit of stand off and Bam Bam Bigelow comes down the aisle too. Norris
is tied up with those two when I.R.S. pops out of nowhere and hammers the Undertaker in the ring for a bit and takes him down with a sleeper and throws him in the casket. I.R.S. bails into the crowd and Bundy & Bigelow head back up the aisle. Yoko gets to the casket and goes to close the lid but the Taker pops up and chokes Yoko. Jeff Jarrett heads down the aisle but gets kicked down by Norris. Go Chuck. Jarrett retreats while Taker hammers Yoko in the ring. He nails Yoko with a flying clothesline, a ddt and a big boot which put Yoko in the casket and the Taker throws in the Japanese flag and closes the lid at 15:26.
Winner: Undertaker. * Bleh.
Overall: Well the first match is good but the rest of the card is a bit crappy. You can safely pass up this event and know you haven't missed much.
Recommendation to avoid.
Other Survivor Series Retro Reviews
WWF Survivor Series 1988 Review
WWF Survivor Series 1989 Review
WWF Survivor Series 1990 Review
WWF Survivor Series 1991 Review
WWF Survivor Series 1992 Review
WWF Survivor Series 1993 Review