Dahpimpsta.Bagelz.Bigfoot.Me.Myself.I.Bigdeezy.TallBitch.Jew.Balla
Life through the eyes of the tall one they call BigFoot
Look at my tall goofy ass on my WEBCAM.
Past WebJournals: [March 8-11] [March 12-15] [March 16-19] [March 20-23] [March 24-27] [March 28-31]
Past WebJournals: [April 1-4] [April 5-8] [April 9-12]
4/16/01
Wise words of Deezy “Pussy-Fart!"
Wise words of Joseph “Shame may restrain what law does not prohibit.!”
Wise words of Zach “God Dustin shut up you retard!“
Mission of the Day #6: Take a pee off Dani‘s balcony, and say, “Look Ma, no hands.”Tetris is an action packed game, and for those of you who have enjoyed it as little tykes on Nintendo, most of you fanatics have played it on Nintendo 64. Through lots of practice Luke and I hold our own, and dominate the game. Currently of multiplayer records recorded on the official Tetris website, Luke and I have overthrown the top two-player combined score. Therefore we are immortals in the game, boom-shaka-laka. We played for a continous hour, seven minutes, and twenty-four seconds together. I had 4217 lines while Luke had 3487 lines, it was an intense battle, as the pieces were flying mach nine down the screen. It was dipsy doodly mad fun. It was such a strain to watch that long, and we were sweating bullets, I think I even stained my pillow cuz it was such a long battle. In the effort, the palm sweat and everything was all worth it. Yet again we own the game, and will defeat anyone that thinks they are better at the game, too those I spit at your feet, luckily there will be no cross winds because me being five feet taller then everyone else, my loogy might hit some wind and drift.
Tonight lagged a bit as we found ourselves watching the Fly 2, which is a crazy movie, I tell all you hoodlums to watch it some time, as the Fly kills all, but Dustin would get his fly swatter or some sticky paper and catch the little maggot. We proceeded to travel to the cute, sweet little Dani’s house. Or actually I should say huge may friend, oh man!!! So anyways, we layed back in their movie room, come on who has a movie room. It was a delightful experience except for getting hit in the eye with a pillow shot by Luke. The whole damn thing is red, and oh boy does it sting.
So who else wears their contacts for sixteen lightyears? I guess that Joe and Luke get the full usage out of their contacts, as Luke has gone a good six plus months without changing them, and Joe is about the same. Idiots, for a good month ago Joe has mono of the eye, where it was all red and shit, pretty nasty, I actually thought his eyeball would fall out or sumptin. Yet anyways, if you are a nice person and wear contacts, please be a good friend and do them a favor, give them a new pair of contacts, because if not they might actually go blind, for that might be a good thing for most of us. Akaaachoooooo!!!
When I was just a little Penis Toe my mommy use to tell me these crazy things. She used to tell me my Penis Toe was evil man she used to tell me he hated me!!!
4/15/01
Wise words of Queezy “Nigggggaaaa!"
Wise words of Deezy "Throw dem Bows'!"
Wise words of Zach “I hate you Dustin!"
Mission of the Day #5: Walk into incoming traffic.I’m not too fond of the holiday Easter, or Eater Holiday, however you wanna say it. Well anyways I wanted to go to certain stores, get a hair cut and what not. Yet on this day they call Easter, they shut down every freaking place, but why? Cuz of a freaking holiday in which a bunny symbolizes happiness and what not. Well to all you faith believers, the bunny represents death, and it will come after you in your worst nightmares. I also propose the question of why Christmas and Easter are the days in which stores close? I see that families have Easter dinner and celebrate, but they don’t have Easter all day, so get your asses back in the stores and work. I’m going to make it unconstitutional for people to close their stores on the great ole’ Easter day, because it just damn well ain’t right.
Cell phones just are a waste of money I’ve come to find out. Or it’s not really that, it’s just stupid people who like to call other people’s cell phones just to say Hi. I’ll be sitting in my room and all of a sudden my abnoxious cell goes off ringing, and it’s some person just saying Hey what are youuuuuuu doing. While at the same time minutes are gone wasting, and they have my home phone why can’t they call that. I hope those people that use their cell phones 24-7 get cancer of the ear, and some how die of gonorrhea. Okie I do sound bitter, but hey, I know others are the same way. Or at least you will be when your phone bill tops the 200$ mark.
Penis Toes are going on vacation this week.
4/14/01
Wise words of Luke-Duke “What once was lost now has returned!"
Wise words of Dre-Day “My ass is neon red from those damn spoons!”
Wise words of the other Dustin “You got shit on by a bird!“
Mission of the Day #4: Light a bag of burning poo and leave it on your neighbor’s doorstep, then ring the doorbell.Waking up on less then one hour is not a fun experience, especially when someone uses me as a king size bed, but I’m over it. Eight girls and Luke and I went to the near-by Denny’s to grub as we all were starving. While waiting for our food, a couple of the girls thought it was funny to shoot a spit-wad at me and Luke. Uhhhh-Uhhhh nah nah, you don’t mess with the extreme spit-wad shooters. We busted out our own straws and ammo, and loaded them up, and nailed them all. Too show off my accuracy I hit one of the Denny’s servers from about 20 feet away, right in the arse, it was great. Luke and I destroyed the syrup, salt, pepper, and all condiments too make the girls whine and bicker, mu-hahah but I love them all!!!
Have you ever eaten some big sandwich and after you eat you get the stringy meat caught in between your teeth? Well I had that problem today as we travelled up to Carpenteria to chill at the beachski. All day this damn piece of meat remained stuck in my upper teeth, and it still won’t come out. I know all of you stand in front of a mirror and try to pick the damn thing out, yet it just stays in there like the guy humping the pie in American Pie. No my friends it does not feel like warm apple pie, yet it is a bitch, and I think the meat is permanantly stuck in my grill. Garggggggghhhhh Blah!
I think the sea-gulls have read my anti-sea gull journal entry as while we were at Carpenteria they flocked all around us. It seems as of late, Proja and Helvig’s vehicles have become a dumpster for bird poo-poo as I think there is a massive sea-gull rebellion going on. Getting back to all important me, I was hella tired as I’ve already whined about twenty times, and as the other Dustin and Luke went surfing, I passed out on the sand. While turning over I felt something hit my back, yet I was too tired to care what was going on, so I proceeded to flip my body. Another hour passes and I turn again, and I heard some giggles while people walked by, but thought they were making cheap jokes towards each other. So the other Dustin and Luke get back to wake me up, and I sit up as the shining sun blinds me, and the other Dustin says, “What the hell is that on your back?” Luke then says, “Oh man you got shit on!” As the other Dustin approaches he says it is indeed dried sea-gull poo poo, and he rubs it off, yet it was really on there, and he hurt me trying to rub it off. So the thing I felt hit my back, was bird doody, and the people laughing, yeah it was about the shit. Sea-Gulls are now to die, dumb beeeeeatches!!!
The Penis Toes have a red glow to them due to the excessive output of sun rays during the day.
4/13/01
Wise words of Deezy, “Arghghghgghhhhhhhh ChewBakkkkka!"
Wise words of Cumdumpster, “Stop calling me cumdumpster!!"
Wise words of Drunken Mark, “Oh yeah I got head three times!“
Mission of the Day #3: Take a dump in a urinal, and if someone walks near you say, “Get outta my stall!”Well for most of you people out there, you notice that today is Good Friday. What actually is Good Friday? I know it’s a holiday in which we don’t attend school, but what’s so good about it? Another Coinky Dinky is that today is also Friday the 13th. Very scary indeed, but if you mix good with bad it all evens out in the end, right? So I figured I had nothing to lose, except for my eyeball which almost got poked out by my brother throwing his knives. I think it is like almost one in every thousand yeas that Good Friday and Friday the 13th are the same day, so cherish it, for if it wasn’t Good Friday, you’d all be dead right now, muhahahah.
Other people are starting to get the idea of throwing parties, while Dustin cannot and does not want to throw parties every weekend. Tonight “Mrs. What” threw a pretty tight party, with the girl to guy ratio being pretty damn good. These were the chill back beautiful girls though, not your average slut crews hanging together, while in fact some want to be labeled that. I proceeded to not get any sleep at all, because of a goalkeeper who used me as a matress, which was good in it’s own way. In the mourn, all the girls woke up half wasted and we all cuddled up in blankets to stay warm, while the girls blabbed on about hot guys and what not. Girls are very interesting in the pattern in which they rate guys and just talk soooooo much. Being one of three guys surrounded by the cumbersome chit chatty girls, we all stared at each other laughing at the blabbers. If you really listen closely, you can see inside the girls brains as most of them have hampsters chasing after a little cheese in their wheel cage, running their thoughts, actions, and movements.
Greatest story ever! Meeting as we always do at my house on Friday nights, shooting pool and what not, us guys always talk about the most outlandish things. My good friend whom we will call a.k.a. Benzito Bite, had a not so cool experience with Mexico. While in Mexico, Benzito Bite drank some of their water, not realizing that what he drank is actually the recycled water from the urinals and toilets, which explained the yellow-browinsh color to the H2O. While having diarhea on a twleve hour bus trip, it would be a great idea to stop, which happened five hours into the trip at a McDonalds. Walking with a squishy wet feeling, he couldn’t squeeze the butttocks hard enough, letting a little discharge onto his boxers. With the bathroom line out the door, he had no other choice but to get into the bathroom and shit in the urinal. Pretty sick indeed, but it was a relief for Benzito Bite to get id of the contaminated water.
Penis Toes got an offer they couldn’t refuse tonight.