A Return to Forever

Inside her, she knew that she had no right to keep this discovery away from him. She also knew that Nick would certainly be ready to try it, as he would try anything to regain his mortality, but was she ready? Was she ready to take a chance that could separate her from him?

Natalie didn’t go to work because she was not ready to see Nick now. She wanted to be alone to understand and make a decision. The decision Natalie had to take was an important one. She had to decide if she was going to talk about this to Nick, with everything it implied. How would she explain everything to Nick? She felt that she was holding important knowledge in her hands and the decision that came with this knowledge was an important one. A really important one. Natalie didn’t want to make a mistake, because a mistake, here, could be disastrous for her and Nick.

After the TV and the VCR were turned off she looked at Sidney’s bowls to see if her beloved cat had enough food and water until the morning and she went to bed, thinking that a good night sleep would help her see more clearly in all this.

"Nick, come back to me! Nick! Do not leave me alone! Nick! Nick!!"

Natalie sat up in her bed, trying to catch her breath. She was still crying. In her nightmare, Nick had tried the experiment and never came back. She was calling him, yelling his name but he didn't come back.

Natalie got up and went to get herself a glass of water. She picked up Sidney who was sleeping on the couch and took him to bed with her. She tried to sleep again but this time it took her a very long time. She couldn’t help thinking about what she saw and experienced earlier. She wished it had never happened, but it HAD!

This time Natalie dreamed that she was living with Nick, they were really together. Nick had tried the experiment and it worked. He came back cured. Nick was finally happy and she was too. There were no more traces of vampire in him. They were both remembering those 4 years they spent trying to find a cure and Nick was remembering those 766 years he spent as a vampire, but that was the past now. He was cured and happy with Nat. She woke up with this last dream in her mind.

It was eight in the morning and after a good shower she felt a lot better than the day before. "Now I have to find a way to explain to him," she thought to herself. She had about 12 hours ahead of her since Nick wouldn’t get up before sunset.

Tonight she would have to go to work and she would also have to be ready to talk to him. When he dropped by her house last night, after somebody told him that she took the night off, she had lied to him, telling him she wasn’t feeling well. Actually it wasn’t really a lie, because this whole experiment made her feel really bad, mentally. But tonight she would have to explain everything to him.

How was she going to explain this incredible thing to the man she loved more than everything?

"Well, I guess telling him what I experienced and how I felt would be a good start, right, Sidney? If you could only talk. You wouldn’t be a great help anyway. What does a cat know about vampires and love?"

Natalie decided that she was going to tell him the truth with all her doubt and fear, she was also going to tell him what the man at GenSearch said about being able to cure vampirism and how they were planning to do that. What else could she tell him, anyway? Nothing!!!

It was time to go to work and Natalie had come to the decision that she was going to try to convince Nick to try it. After all, if she came back from this little trip, why not him? It would be so wonderful if Nick could come back cured. They would finally be able to live together, to be free to express their love for each other, love that they could never really express before because of Nick’s condition.

But inside there was this fear of losing him that would not go away. She knew she wouldn’t be able to live normally if something happened to him because of her--because of what she told him to do. That would be too hard, losing him and knowing that she had something to do with it.

She closed the door of her car and double-checked to see if it was locked. She started walking toward her lab thinking about this story and hoping that nothing really important on the Toronto crime scene would happen tonight so she could have some time alone with Nick.

Natalie was sitting at her desk reading the book that Dr. Gellman loaned her when she received a call from the police station telling her to go meet them at the corner of Bloor and Dufferin. The detective had just found a young woman who had been murdered there and she had to go.

"Well, the discussion about GenSearch will have to wait until after work," Natalie thought. Natalie realized that this was not too bad after all; the loft was a better place to talk than her lab, and there were fewer chances that they would be disturbed there.

"Well, let’s hope", Natalie thought, "that Nick will want to talk about something important during the day now."

The loft was silent except for the sounds of Nicholas' restless footsteps. He walked over to the piano, and slid his hand along its richly polished surface. His hand seemed drawn to the silver candelabra with its flickering candlelight. Through all the years of modern progress, Nicholas had enjoyed most of what modern conveniences had to offer. The light that glowed from the candle however, would never be replaced by the unnatural light that electricity allowed.

His thoughts continued to drift back to Natalie's words about a new way for a cure from his eternal curse. 'What had they not already tried?' His fingers methodically explored the candelabra, and soon found their way to the flames of the candle. Nicholas studied the flames as they danced through his fingers, and smiled as he teased and taunted their elusiveness. It was a game he dared to play with this deadly enemy only while it was small and confined. He wondered why Natalie felt this was so important that it could not wait for him to get his daytime sleep. He quickly blew out the candles and ended his precarious game.

His attention then shifted to the remote on the table. He walked over and thoughtfully picked it up as he pressed one of the buttons to open the one blind a small crack. A tiny fragment of light trespassed into the dimness that encompassed the loft. Nicholas breathed in deeply as he cautiously approached the ray of light that dared to penetrate the blackness. He closed his eyes and tried to conjure up the feeling of the warmth of the sun against his body. He desperately tried to recall the sun being a comforting pleasure rather than the searing pain of death. For a brief moment, he thought he remembered, but he knew he did not. His memory as a mortal was all but gone now. Only his actions as a vampire really remained strong.

The sounds of the elevator climbing toward the loft broke him of his trance. He quickly re-pressed the button to close the shade, and again become immersed in the darkness. He moved quickly to turn on the light for Natalie. She did not need to walk into his personal dark prison. He stood near the window with his full attention on the elevator door as it opened. Nicholas felt all his sadness drain when the door opened and he saw Natalie. The entire loft became illuminated by her presence. He was unaware that he was grinning now.

"Hi Nat, I waited up for you. It must be pretty important."

Natalie nervously stepped off the elevator, but tried to act casual. "Boy Nick, why is it so dark in here?" Nicholas smiled, he knew that by mortal standards that she was right, but he wasn't about to admit it.

"Really, I hadn't noticed."

Nicholas just stood with his arms folded across his chest as Natalie went around the room turning on lights. After finding all the nearby lamps, Natalie turned to find an amused Nicholas still smiling at her.

"That's better. You know Nick, not many of us can see in the dark like you can."

Walking over to her, he helped her remove her rain coat. It had been a very hectic night for him, and he has hoping that this would not take too long. Although he loved seeing her, rest was one mortal requirement that he had carried with him into eternity. She had to be as tired as he was. They had both been at the same crime scene for hours gathering evidence.

Watching as she put down her heavy medical bag, he tenderly reached for her hand. "You must be tired, Nat. It was a long night for both of us." Smiling slightly, she squeezed his hand and let go.

"Well, Reese did want that autopsy report on last night's victim on his desk before I left."

Walking towards the kitchen, he stopped and turned back to Natalie. "Would you like some coffee or anything?"

"No thanks, I had some before I got here. Anyway, it's hard to be motivated to drink any coffee you keep under the sink next to the rat poison. If we could just sit down, I'd like to discuss something with you."

Turning back to face her again, he became concerned by her appearance.

"Yeah, sure. Are you all right, Nat? You seem so distracted."

"I'm fine. Actually I'm here because of you." Looking puzzled, he wondered why she was concerned about him. He had just seen her the other day about the routine measures he was taking for his cure, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There were always new thoughts about which path his therapy should take, but now she seemed different- almost frightened.

"Nat, you already mentioned that you wanted to see me about a new approach. But why are you so concerned? Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll survive it."

"That was a joke, Nat. That is unless there's a wooden stake involved with this cure."

Standing up, she unconsciously began to pace the loft. Nicholas stopped smiling, and moved in front of her to get her attention. Touching her face, he stared into her eyes.

"Nat, you are starting to scare me. Will you please tell me what is going on?"

Looking into his beautiful blue eyes, she started to have second thoughts about the sanity of sending the man she loved back to a time from which he might never return. The thought of losing him was causing her excruciating pain. Then, gazing at his trusting face, she wondered how she could not allow him this opportunity for a life that he only dreamed of. This might be the cure he had been searching for. They had tried so many times. How could she not have him try this? She wished so much that she could give him the cure he wished for without the possibility of losing him forever. Every part of her ached as she forced herself to begin to tell him of a possible answer to an end to his torment, an answer that may cause her to end up in a world without him.

Blinking back the tears, she took in a deep breath. "Nick, what do you know about time travel?"

Relaxing his tight muscles, he grinned widely. Then looking back at her, he realized that she was deadly serious. Still feeling confused, he smiled and gave her a puzzled look.

"What exactly do you mean by time travel? Do you mean hopping into a vehicle that takes you anywhere into the past or future? Or are you referring to TV shows like "Time Tunnel" or "Quantum Leap?"

Natalie saw that he was half mocking her question, and became frustrated.

"This is not a joke, Nick! I have never been more serious." Turning away, she stared up at the ceiling.

Nicholas stared at her back. He was not sure whether to laugh or be frightened. Walking up behind her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, and gently urged her to face him again.

"Nat, you can't be serious. There is no such thing."

"Oh, you mean like there is no such thing as vampires?"

"That's not fair. It's not the same."

"Isn't it? I guess even a vampire can have a closed mind when it comes to the unknown."

"What are you talking about, Nat? Time travel is only science fiction. You are a scientist. Is casually moving in time possible? You tell me! Was this in the latest science journal? I must have missed that issue!"

"Do I look like I came here to play games? I haven't slept yet either, but this was too important to put off."

Calming down, he patted her arm. "Okay Nat. Tell me what you are talking about, and I promise to listen."

Walking to the leather sofa, she sat down and motioned for Nicholas to join her. Sitting cautiously next to her, he reached for her hand.

Again she thought about forgetting this cure, and trying to find a different one that would not involve losing Nicholas to history. But one look at his trusting face, and she quickly dismissed that selfish thought.

"The other day, I spoke with a couple of scientists who were able to accomplish the impossible. They are able to transport a person back in time."

"Nat, surely you do not believe their claims. It is ludicrous. This whole concept is ludicrous. What did they do to make you believe them?"