It was raining again, not that she minded. It fit her mood completely. Janette noted with some bitterness that the cloud cover was dense enough that it didn't really matter whether it was day or night. An ironic smile twitched at the corner of her lip briefly. Not long ago, even daylight would not have bothered her, at least physically. Now she had been returned to the realm of the night, against her wishes.

She had to admit, though, that she had again been given the choice to live as a vampire or to die finally. She had chosen life, or rather, the gatekeeper, or whatever he/she/it was called, had made clear that she had much to answer for if and when she finally died, thus influencing her decision. Some of Nicolas must have rubbed off on her, she mused.

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She didn't want to know what Lucien LaCroix would say if she told him she felt the need to expiate her sins so someday she might join Robert in Heaven. She knew what he would say, and it would not be pleasant. Better to keep her mouth shut.

Pain. What she really wanted was to be with Robert, alive or dead. But that was impossible, at least a present. Surely he had gone to Heaven, if such a place really existed. Janette shook her head. She supposed her choice had something to do with the fact that, even if she died, she could not have been with him, not after she had spent centuries killing without mercy, and taking joy in it. She had expected Hell. After meeting Robert, though, she wanted Heaven, and Robert.

It seemed strange to be flying into Toronto once more. Ordinarily Aristotle would have gone to the trouble of finding a completely different life, and she would have obediently left all behind, not returning to a region for decades, sometimes centuries later. This time, and against all her training, she was returning to the city she had left behind when she had been reborn a vampire. It especially felt strange to be new again.

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She had been respected as an older vampire, older even than Nick, who she had lured into their dark world back in 1228. Now, she was not even a decade old in terms of vampire life. She had the odd distinction of having ancient experience in a young, untoughened, new vampire body. Odder still was the relationship she would now have with Nick, and her former "father" LaCroix. When Nick had brought her across this time, it had changed their relationship completely.

She could hear the heartbeats of her fellow passengers. Two or three with the irregular heartbeats of arterial disease belonged to older men riding behind her. Their clothes reeked of cigarette smoke. Their images, reflected off the windows, showed their annoyance as they fidgeted. Being denied their addiction was torture for the few hours they had been confined aboard the flight. The plane touched down. Janette fought the urge to stand up and brush past the slow, clumsy mortals who stood between her and the freedom of the night.

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"I wouldn't even be here," she thought to her silent, imagined accusers, "had it not been for the rumors about past regression. If I could go back. . ." She bit her lip with the pain of memory. "If I could go back, maybe I could prevent Robert's death."

The line of people wandered slowly past the customs counters. She had everything in order, ready for every familiar step. She had kept the name Janette, but in a moment's attack of twisted humor she had changed her last name to de Brabant. It fit like a glove since Nick's refusal to let her die. Damn him. Bless him. He had been unable to let her go. She understood. If she had been able to, Robert would be wandering the night with her now.

Janette had been uncomfortably uncertain of herself ever since becoming a young vampire once again. All the things she used to rely on in vampire society--her strength and age, her connection to LaCroix, who held a position of prestige in vampire society--had been taken from her since her brief trip to mortal life.

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Suddenly she was seen as young and weak, a fledgeling of Nick's rather than LaCroix's, even though she really was older than Nick, and most of the other vampires she now encountered. Now she was even uncertain of LaCroix's welcome. She didn't dare tell him the real reason she had returned to Toronto. She needed a convenient excuse, and loneliness was not a good one.

Without a good reason for her return, she had decided to find somewhere safe for the day before checking in with Lucien. Perhaps she could think of a plausible explanation in the time she had to think.

Later, in a room across town, she unpacked the small bag of clothes, the brush and jewelry case, and rumpled the bed to make it seem slept in, before sneaking down the back stairs to the cellar to sleep the day. The house she had rented was well locked and guarded.

Back one / Top / Main Page / Prologue / Chapter One / Chapter Three / Chapter Four / Chapter Five / Chapter Six / Chapter Seven / Chapter Eight / Chapter Nine / Chapter Ten / Chapter Eleven / Chapter Twelve / Chapter Thirteen

By Elena du Charme Edited 5/2/2000.