2nd Custody Battle

This time around things have not been much different than the last time. I have gotten smarter with dealing with these people than I was first time through. I have learned to keep my mouth shut and let them hang themselves.

April 2001- Ex calls me screaming that she is going to change Kevan's school. I told her to learn to read because she could not because of the agreement she signed. She says that I have had my half of his education and now she is going to have hers. Told her that if she needed a tutor to help her with her reading I would find her one.

Late April- She demands mediation, which is called for in agreement. I said fine because I had to go with the agreement I signed.

2 weeks later-Tells me that mediation is set for Friday night at 5:00 p.m. Told her that I had long term plans for that evening and that I could not make that time. Told her to get a different time.

May 5- served with papers stating that she is filing for full custody and to change his school. Claims that I don't have proper housing and that I can't keep a job. ( have changed jobs 3 times in the past year and a half to better myself, each time to improve things for my son)

May 6- Told my son about the papers and what she is trying to do. He cries and says that there is no way he is going to change schools or go live with her.

May 7- inform his teachers of the papers she has filed.

Mid May- Meet with attorney and discuss papers. Shakes head again saying that she has not raised a valid issue. Asks what Kevan wants. I explain to him about our discussion. Decides to file affidavit by Kevan and myself answering her claims. We also decide to delay the case so that Kevan is not in school when this is going on.

Early June- Kevan signs the affidavit after asking numerous questions of the attorney. Attorney asks him if he wants to be a lawyer some day. He was very thorough and careful beyond his years.

June 15- First court date. She is served with affidavits and on her heals. When I pick up Kevan later that evening he is shaking. He has been told that by signing the papers he will never see his mother again and that she didnt file for a change in custody. I sat him down and showed him on the web what she had filed and showed him a copy of a standard custody agreement. After reading the custody agreement, he says that is exactly what he wants and that he knows who is telling the truth.

Early September- Mediation finally takes place but ends quickly. All she wants to do is tell lies and not discuss issues. I can't say a thing but to refute her lies and finally tell the mediator that I have had it with her crap. He agrees that this is going no where.

September 15- Family court Services meeting. Told that we have communication issues, to which I reply, " no joke, I have had the door shut in my face so many times that my nose is flat." She is told that all the issues the she is trying to raise are not issues that the court will act on. No case. Tells my ex to make me an offer. She offers that Kevan live with her during the school year and sees me during the summer. My reply was a simple, "not a snowball's chance in you know where of that happening." FCS person tells me to make her an offer to which I offer a standard custody agreement with Kevan living with me and staying in the school where he wants. Kristine Van Dorsten of FCS exclaims " That is less then she has now". She never said anything about my ex's offer being less for me. I shut up because this comment will help me in the future.

September 19- Court again and again a waste of time for attorney and me. Dates reset for December and January. Ordered to a class that the court gives in Positive Parenting.
November 23- Get letter from FCS telling me to bring "Jasmine" in for a family evaluation on Nov. 29. Who is Jasmine?

November 25 -29- try repeatedly to call FCS and find out who Jasmine is and get no return phone call. I call about 12 times. Even called at time of appointment and got no answer.

December 17- Court again today. FCS read her report and recommended that custody stay the same. This means that she has been officially told that she has no case. Hearing is still on the books for January. Showed my attorney the letter from FCS telling me to bring Jasmine in and he said the same thing that everyone else did, "Who's Jasmine?" I was also told that they don't like my strong personality. After all the crap I have through, I will not let my guard down and I will stand my ground with these people, that is why they don't like me. Kevan has to go for interview in January. He won't like it but he can put an end to all this by speaking up for himself. I am also guessing that the Family Court Evaluator got chewed out for all the mistakes she has made and for not returning my calls.

January 9, 2002- Kevan has his interview with Family Court Services. They are late as usual and the lobby is crowded. Kevan went in by himself and talked with Kristine for about 25 minutes. As we left we started talking and he said that he thought that they were a bunch of idiots. Pretty much sums up my experience with them too. Said she kept asking him the same questions over and over.

January 23, 2002- Court hearing today. I am presented with an agreement that I agreed to in principle that gives me control of his schooling and gives her control of his health issues. They are trying to put as requirement on me that I live in my same house and can not move. This I do not like and will fight. This prohibits me from getting into any long-term relationship where I might move. Say marry and buy a home with new wife. I intend to fight this as interference and unduly restrictive. She has moved three times since we were divorced. Why can't I move if I chose?
" FCS contacts me about going to parenting class again. Sets for Tuesday nights. I have a work meeting that I can not miss on those nights. I have called numerous times to try to find a way to work this out but they refuse to return my calls.