Here We Go Again

Last Friday I was, once again served papers by my ex-wife. This time she is claiming that I am a flight risk because I didn't tell her where I was taking my son on vacation. Funny thing is that I told her in June that I was taking him on a series of day trips with no over night travel. That is all I am required by the agreement to do.

At the same time she was on vacation with him out of state on a vacation that she did not tell me about until five days before the beginning of. The agreement states that this information must be given fourteen days in advance. I made her sign a statement that she would have him back in time to start his vacation with me before she could even take him. She refused to bring him back, despite his protests to her. This effectively destroyed the one big event that we had planned to attend which was a family picnic.

I have decided to represent myself in this matter. As I have said before and I will say again, "document everything when it comes to dealing with an ex-spouse." That I have done to protect my rights and those of my son. I will be filing a contempt order for her interference with custody.

Below are the chronological events as they happen in this matter. I will try to keep this up to date as new events happen.

August 9- papers including a restraining order claiming that I am a flight risk are served to me.
August 9- my son was not returned at 5:00pm as she had agreed. At 7:30 I was told that he would not be returned.
August 10- my son was returned at 9:00pm
August 12- called her attorney at 8:00 am and asked him to return my call. I called him again at 10:30 and got through. I asked him to explain the papers and told him that I would be representing myself. He basically tried to dust me off. I brought up several points in the papers where she has perjured herself and asked him if he supported perjured testimony from his clients. He said he didn't know if a client was lying to him or not when they told him a story. Funny thing is that he could have checked very easily some of the things she is lying about. I replied that I had proof of her perjury and also of her contempt in the interference. Told him that I was willing to come to an understanding with him before he got to court and embarrassed himself since I had full documentation of all events. He told me that he had a job to do and he was going to do it. I replayed that I ahead a job to do and I was going to do it also.
August 13- Know that I don't have to but being the SOB that I am, I faxed the proof of her perjury to her attorney. Know this proves my point to him and it also gives him knowledge of the crime. I asked him to call me back, of course he didn't.
August 14- I will be filing complaints with the state and local bar associations about her attorney for having knowledge of perjured testimony and willfully using it in sworn documents to the court. Also with talk to the prosecutors office about criminal charges. I know, ballsy move, but he will very soon find out that I am not the average person on the street.
August 28- Night before court and no words from opposition as to dropping. I have every thing ready to go for pro se presentation and will have the truth be heard.
August 29 - Court day and once again DRC is screwed up and has screwed another father. I was never allowed to present a bit of the evidence that I had telling the truth in this matter. My case was switched to a different magistrate at the last minute and this one was very pro mommy. She asked my ex totally different questions than me, all directed at making her look good. The questions to me were all directed in a manner to make me look on record like a father that doesn't take care of his child. An example would, I was asked what I did for after school day care. I said none because at 12 he is more than capable of taking care of himself for the short period that he would be alone. That was never asked of my ex. More than a bit of double standard, I would say. Good news is that the restraining order was dropped at my insistence. One bit of luck was that my attorney, even though I did not call him, sent an associate to cover me. With this magistrate's bias towards me, I am very glad he did. We did declare him co-council with me lead but the magistrate refused to recognize that fact. Matter is done.
Funny though, my ex admitted in court through her attorney to lying on the paper work. Nothing done to her. I also caught her lying in the court under oath.
It looks like the only way that justice is going to be served will be for me to file a contempt order and waste more money.
I did accomplish a few things while there. I campaigned heavily for fathers rights with a few attorneys that I spoke with. I also left literature on PACE in the literature rack that the court has on their programs. I hope that someone sees it and it helps someone.
Done for now.

The following is the statement that I was going to read to the court.

Best interests of the child?

I would like to thank Mr. Howard for his comments; to me they sound more like best interest of mommy rather than for the child. Any person with common sense knows that the term can mean anything to anyone. If your honor decided that it was in the best interest of children to play in the middle of the expressway at rush hour, then that is what it would mean to her. Now I certainly hope that your honor, like me has much better sense then that.

As to the house, I am not moving and have never planned on moving. If I move she would be given ample notice of such a change in location which is a courtesy she has never shown me. For example, try the time when she showed up at her scheduled pickup time on a Sunday at 6:00 pm and slapped a piece of paper in my hand announcing that she was moving this child at that moment to a new residence. This was done in the middle of a school year. She thinks nothing of packing up and moving without telling me her plans.

Like anyone in the manufacturing end of today's economy I have seen some slow times since last September. Have I ever not had food on the table or a present under the tree at Christmas, no. Have I had to live a bit more frugally, yes, but that is my nature any way.

Concerns about this situation, I have many like when is this mother going to stop acting like a child and start following the agreement as it is written, not as she wants to. I am very concerned about her telling this court lies to gain favor. Proof of this is as simple as looking at the Parenting Affidavit (Document E) that she signed as true. If you look at her answer to question six, she has answered no as to whether or not there have previously been any past or present litigation which concerns the custody of this child. If this answer is true, then I want someone to explain to me the two summonses to appear before this court when she filed for a change in custody, once in May of 1995 and the other in April of 2001. This willingness to perjure herself should scare this court as much as it does me.

There are no mommy's rules, there are no daddys rules, there is one agreement that is entered as a court order that was signed by both of us and following that agreement is what is in the best interest of the child. I want to know when she is going to stop disrespecting this court and stop using it as her personal tool of attack. I make money by working, not by coming here at her every whim because she is not mature enough to act as an adult. This agreement has a procedure for problem solving, which calls for discussion, then mediation, then court of no solution can be arrived at in through the other manners. She has never followed that, she simply goes out finds some lawyer that will listen to her tales of woo and files frivolous motions in court that are supported almost soling by her lies, intent on disrupting my and my son's lives.

I want to know is how the best interest of the child was served when she told the child that she was not going to return him so he could spend vacation time with me. Vacation time that was properly notified under this agreement (Document A, B), which she recognized in writing (Document C). Unlike hers, which was presented five days before she was planning on taking him out of state (Document D). This agreement calls for 14 days of advance notice for vacations and if that vacation is being taken in a series of short trips, which I call day trips, when the child is sleeping in his own bed at night, how can there be and why is there a need to account for every single minute of time that we are to spend together. Simply there is no need and it is not required.
It is not provided by her when she takes the child out of state. The agreement states that that either of us are to provide a travel schedule with times, duration and the like. If you look at the information she provided me, you can see she has not done this (Document D). What is next, will I be required to hang a sign in front of my home calling it the "Lautenschlager Lodge" just to satisfy her pettiness. Frankly she knew of my intention to take this short bit of vacation time with Kevan in June and chose to wait until the last minute to raise any issue other than when she first objected when she was told of my plans. By the time rolled around five days before her 'vacation', when I still had not received any notice or information from her, I had no choice but to be under the presumption that her plans were changed. She clearly decided the path of conflict was her choice. I offered her a chance to resolve this through discussion and she refused. As Stated in this agreement, I then offered mediation which she also refused.

I want to know how the best interest of this child are served when I have asked her numerous times for the proof that Kevan has had his MMR booster shot and she has never delivered that information to me. Without this info, my son could be told that he is not allowed to attend school. I do have a right to his medical records under this agreement.

Me a flight risk, hardly. My ties to the community are too strong. Between my work and community service commitments, frankly there would be too many people missing me. My commitments are important to me and that dedication to commitment has proved an asset in my relationship with Kevan. I have been in a stable relationship for nearly three years with a woman that I love deeply. Taking flight would mean losing all that and the respect of my peers which is something that I have no intention of doing. What she has done by not returning this child when he was to have been returned, breaking her promises to me and more importantly to the child, is show that she is the flight risk. If anyone should be asking this court for a restraining order it should be me as this woman has disappeared numerous times in the past on out of town vacations with out giving notice or information. She has admitted this to Family Court Services in a conversation with them last fall. The restraining order that was issued is redundant also because all the points that it makes are clearly covered in the agreement that is place.

Have I done anything that violated the terms of this agreement? No, the only thing I have done is respect this court and respect this agreement. I have asked that she follow the agreement as it is written. It is time that this court tells her what the term 'best interest of the child' means and tells her to grow up and follow the agreement.

I respectfully ask that this restraining order be removed so that I may continue to enjoy the time that I have with my son and he can enjoy the time he has with me.

Thank you.