To Susan,
This is to the only woman that I have ever truly loved. You have meant more to me than you realize and could ever realize. You have been there for me in good times and bad and at those times when I just needed a hug to get by.
You have seen me at my highest as I spent time with my son and enjoyed the day to day things that every parent should be allowed to do, and you have seen me madder than a hornet when he didn’t do what he was supposed to do. Gee, you have been down this road too, haven’t you?
You have seen me heart broken as my ex tried to steal my son from me through the courts and how hard I fought to make sure that that did not happen. I shielded you from a lot of what happened during these times when she pulled this garbage; I didn’t want you to be burdened by what I was going through. If I was distant at times it was because I didn’t want to put the pain on you that I felt as I fought those fights.
You always said let it go but I have to wonder if you could have if it was your son. God blessed you in that you never had to fight the fight that I did to keep your child a part of your life.
I miss your touch and being next to you. Holding you close was one of those things that meant more to me than anything else in the world. Having you near me was satisfaction enough at times. I wish that I could do that again. I loved you so much that I would have only been complete growing old with you in my arms and at my side. You were the one that made me complete.
Some day things will be different. I pray that day comes soon. I need you and my son in my life to be complete.
I love you with all my heart,
Ray
