If man developed from apes and monkey's, then why do we still have apes and monkey's?
If it was only a three hour cruise, then why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes?
If a turtle loses it's shell, is it naked or homeless?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms, are they afraid someone will clean them?
If it is zero degrees outside, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on the remote control when you know that the battery is dead?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Oriental throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings when they are already finished? Shouldn't you call them builts?
Why are they called "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
The light went out, but where to?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If you got in a taxi, and the driver started driving backwards, would the taxi-driver end up owing you money?
Why is a carrot more orange that an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a "near-miss"?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why are there 5 syllables in "monosyllabic"?
Why do the call it the Department of the Interior when everything they are in charge of is outside?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, then what do humanitarians eat?
If the opposite of pro is con, then what is the opposite of congress?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Why is it, when a door is open it is ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Why does pizza always lands cheese side down when you drop it?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag, and garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to "IV's" as a "4"?
Is boneless chicken considered an invertebrate?
If all the psychics have the winning lottery numbers, then why are they still working?
Why do they call it white chocolate when there's really no chocolate in it?
Sooner or later, doesn't everybody stop smoking?
Why is it called Eat 'n' Park, when you really park, then eat?
Where does a forest ranger go to get away from it all?
War doesn't determine who is "right", just who is "left".
Why is the needle sterilized before a lethal injection?
Why does Sheetz have locks when it's open 24 hours a day?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do kamakaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one?
When the painters go on strike is there anything painted on there signs?
Why do Hotdogs come in packs of 8 and buns come in packs of 12?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s"
in it?
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Real Life Bumper Stickers?
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
We have enough youth, how about a Fountain of Smart?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
Born free...Now I'm expensive
The more men I meet, the more I like my dog.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Rehab is for quitters.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
No radio inside - Already stolen.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Friends help you move. Real friends help youmove bodies.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness:That annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekashun.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
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wonder if?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure.
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
In a martial arts movie, why do all the bad guys fight the one good guy one by one instead of all at the same time?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their butt?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do feet smell and noses run, yet noses smell and feet run?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
hy does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
If God sneezes...what should you say?
If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
If u got any suggestions, e-mail 'em to me
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