Take It With You
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove
wrong the saying; "You can't take it with you."
After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take
at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases.
He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.
His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning
came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash.
"Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
Add To Favorites
The Devil's Lawsuit
There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death.
He arrived at the pearly gates and
St. Peter said ''Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell.
The worker agreed -- not like he could do anything else -- and he was on his way.
When he arrived, the devil looked at him and said, “Ah! A new slave.
We shall burn you and throw you in the fiery pits.”
Then the worker replied, “That wall could use a bit of patching. I could fix it first and you could throw me in the pit afterward.”
So he fixed the wall.
Satan, intrigued, asked, “What else can you build?”
So the construction worker went about his job and made many improvements;
in fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise. It had air conditioning, pools,
balconies, you name it.
Within a few days, God phoned Satan and said, “I think there has been a mix-up.
That worker was originally supposed to come to heaven.”
Satan replied,
“No way -- he's built all sorts of useful stuff for us. We're keeping him.”
God then said, “Oh, yeah? Well, I'll see you in court. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages."
Satan just laughed: “And where are you going to find a lawyer?”
Need More?
Lawyer Joke a Day
Heartwarming Story
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along
the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
We don't have money for food," \the poor man replied.
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house" the lawyer said.
"But sir. I have a wife and two children with me."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man then, in a pitiful voice said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind.
Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"
Back to Top
|
