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BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN MASSACHUSETTS1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Massachusetts driver never uses them.2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.  4. Never ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear ended. 5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Massachusetts is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose. 6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a nice chance to stretch your legs. 7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.  8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in Massachusetts during rush hour. 9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Massachusetts driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot. 10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. 11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Massachusetts is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their  toes.
12. It is traditional in Massachusetts to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. 13. Remember that the goal of every Massachusetts driver is to get there first, by whatever meansd always be returned.
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