The Long Version

Meeting the Jehovah's Witnesses

Joining the Watchtower

Life as a Jehovah's Witness

Expelled! Shunned by God

A new life "in Christ"

Parting thoughts

More Information

FAQs

Informational Links

A New Life in Christ

Reflecting on my spiritual condition during those first several days after being disfellowshipped, I had a strange feeling all wasn't lost. Again, some things just didn't make sense. Why was I really still smoking? Wasn't Jehovah bigger than a cigarette? Why couldn't the elders help me, even though it really seemed like they wanted too? Jehovah's Witnesses often hear that their organization may have problems from time to time but "hey", they are told in mimic of Jesus' words at John 6:68, "where else [but the Organization] are you going to get the truth?" I too had heard that and believed it. But something just didn't square up.

I begin to read the Bible a little each night. For some reason, I was using an old Revised Standard Edition instead of my trusty Watchtower New World Translation. Starting with the book of John, I soon had plowed through to Revelation. It was stunning! There was something there. More than I'd ever knew or heard of before. What was it? Love? Yes something to do with love. And there was "grace" too or what Witness call "undeserved kindness." I read more and this concept begin to slowly form in my mind: "God loves us because of who he is, not because of what we do or don't do." I chewed on that for awhile. That's why God's love is undeserved...because everyone does something wrong (sin) sometime. Excitedly I pressed on. This Bible repeatedly said salvation was a gift, a free --no strings attached-- gift. All one had to do, according to Scripture, was believe that Jesus was God's Son (I did), that he died, was buried, and then rose again (I did), and confess him as "Lord" (I did). So was I saved or not? I wasn't certain but I couldn't get enough Bible reading. Suddenly, it wasn't so clear any more that only the 144,000 anointed receive the Holy Spirit...it sure seemed to me that everyone that believed received the Spirit. One after another, formerly ironclad Watchtower doctrines began to crack. I was both very excited and very confused. After all, where else could I go?

Someone told me about a book called Crisis of Conscience. It was written by a former Governing Body member named Raymond Franz. I purchased a copy of this book in February 1986 and read it in three days. Again, I was stunned. If what this man wrote was true (and he supplied ample documentation), then the Watchtower simply could not be true. Could it be? I was a mess. First my life was shattered and then my theology was shattered! Was the truth a lie? "Oh Lord," I prayed. "Help me make some sense out of this. I honestly don't know who or what to believe anymore except you are God." That same month some pastor came to my house. We had a nice little discussion but I blew him away with my old Watchtower arsenal of questions. I wasn't in the mood to play hypocrite church games. I wanted answers. I wanted to talk to someone who knew the Bible. Another pastor, named Bud, came to the house wearing a big cowboy hat and without a Bible. "Oh man, here we go again" I thought. Well, Bud knew God. And he introduced me to Jesus Christ. He asked me to get my Bible and we read some very important passages. We talked for quite some time and I just knew God was using this man. Within a few Sundays, I got up the nerve to visit his congregation.

Bud's congregation was "up the road on the right" so we drove up the road to the first church and pulled in. My girls and I sat there for 30 minutes wondering what was going on. My youngest picked up a song book and I read the title: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. OOPS! We were in a Mormon church. We left very quickly and quietly and headed a little further up the road. There was the building we wanted! We had missed about half of the service (although I noticed Bud made much use of his Bible) but enjoyed the friendliness of the people. I felt welcome and you know what? No one asked if I smoked or cursed or why I wasn't all dressed up, or "how long I'd been in the truth." They just welcomed me and asked me to return. It wasn't long before I publicly confessed Jesus as my Lord and Savior and submitted to water baptism in symbol of my death, burial, and resurrection in Christ (see Romans 6) I was saved and, could I say it, born again! Praise God! I was a new creation! Now, the whole New Testament applied to me!

Life wasn't perfect afterward. In fact, it was hell. My wife left me and my girls, my aunt died, and I really struggled with what I call "heart sins." The Watchtower never really explored the heart. As long as you conformed outwardly to their standard, you were considered "spiritual" (kinda like the Pharisees) But man, oh man. God cleans from the inside...and that makes all the difference in the world! Also, I took a long time to untangle my mind theologically. I didn't want to believe something just because Bud or someone else said it was true. Each ingrained Watchtower doctrine had to be dismantled, examined in the light of Scripture, and modified or discarded. It turned out almost everything they taught was erroneous! In 1990 I started to help others involved with the Witnesses or other false religious systems. There is help and hope. Please write and share today!

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