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The Long Version Meeting the Jehovah's Witnesses More Information Visitor's comments
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Shunned by JehovahI can't recall exactly which proverbial "straw" broke the camel's back. But after months of sneaking cigarettes, munching breath freshners, and always looking over my shoulder...I had had enough. My wife, by now, had completely withdrawn. She had "caught" me smoking (and forgiven me...by Watchtower law, she was required to turn me in to the elders). The marking of Lonnie and the Aunt Florence incident kept nagging my conscience. Suddenly, one day I just sat down and wrote my letter of confession. Within days after I mailed my confession, my Dad called. In an ice cold tone he offer this "loving"advice: each time I wanted a cigarette, I should envision grinding out the butt on the arm of my youngest daughter. That was it. Next, a car-load of elders came to the house. These were all good decent men I'd known most of my life. We went through the "routine," reading applicable Bible passages and verses including their favorite:
These verses bugged me. In the Watchtower, only a few living JWs called the "anointed remnant" are said to be "born again" and have the holy spirit dwelling within them, the rest of the 5 million or so JWs, called the "other sheep" cannot be born-again and do not receive the indwelling of the spirit. This verse was used to impress upon us the need to keep our temples clean but just how I, as an other sheep, could be a temple of the spirit was never discussed. Basically, the charges were that smoking was unhealthy, it polluted the air of my fellow humans, and it contaminated my body. And, the elders had an obligation to "keep the congregation clean." They asked if I had any doctrinal questions or doubts... I didn't. Then, sort of in desperation, I gave the situation my best shot. I asked exactly how damaging to my health were two cigarettes a day (which is about what I was smoking at the time)? What if I only smoked one a day? Or one every couple days? Many Witnesses I knew were overweight. Is that evidence of gluttony which, unlike smoking, is specifically condemned in Scripture? Obesity certainly isn't healthy. Does the Watchtower pursue over-eaters with the same determination it does smokers? And talk about air pollution! Were the elders willing to give up their automobiles, the major contributor of air pollution? And then I brought up the subject of alcohol. "Isn't alcohol addictive?" I asked. How many drinks does it take to sin? "Why is my two cigarettes a day a sin but two beers a day isn't? And," I said as I slowly looked at each of them, "Don't tell me my smoking affected the health of my family, no one even knew I smoked during the last twelve months!" To top it off I mused how ironic it was that as long I kept my "sin" a secret, I was deemed "in good standing" in God's Organization. But the minute I confessed and made some attempt to really do the right thing...I am threatened with expulsion! "Didn't" I asked, "Jesus come for sinners not the healthy?" Dismayed, the elders expressed their willingness to do whatever they could to help. In my opinion, they wanted to work with me. They understood my struggle wasn't with God it was with a drug addiction. I could see they wanted to help but they couldn't. These guys were elders. Small officials in a large legalistic organization. They were bound hand and foot by rules and regulations. The best they could do was give me six-weeks to quit. At the end of six weeks, an evening "judicial" meeting was held at our Kingdom Hall. I sat in a small room facing about six elders. They read the "charges" and solemnly asked if I'd quit yet. Admittedly, the temptation to lie was very strong! But I hung my head and whispered that I had not. I was excused while the elders "conferred" and then summoned back to hear the "verdict." They disfellowshipped me. A dear older elder and friend, Raymond's father, escorted me to the door. We were both crying. I sat out in my dark car for a long time as waves of negative emotions swept over me. I was out. I was out of the Watchtower. Out of what I believed was God's Organization. Doomed to everlasting destruction unless somehow I quit smoking. I was also cut-off from all my JW family and friends. No longer would any JW speak to me, eat with me, or even look at me if that could be helped. They had to shun me or risk being disfellowshipped themselves. That included, my dad, my step mother, their son/my half-brother, and my six step sisters (five of which I've never met). That also included Lonnie. My wife and children too would miss Paradise. Witnesses believe that everyone who dies before having an opportunity to hear their message will be resurrected into the Paradise earth. But, everyone who hears the message and fails to respond favorably, or joins the Watchtower and "falls away,"is doomed to everlasting annihilation. I felt like I was alone on a deserted island watching the only water-craft in the universe sail out of site. Jehovah hated me. I was shunned by God. What hopelessness. What despair. It's beyond words. It's no surprise that many JWs commit suicide rather than face the world outside the organization. But, although I couldn't have known that dark night, life wasn't over...in fact it had just begun! |
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