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Somebody Else's Shoes
By: Aurora
Copyright Disclaimer: All characters that have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess belongs to MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing for this fan fiction.
Subtext: None--what, are you kidding me?
Violence: A little--what do you expect? This is XENA
Sex: None
Rated G
Date Written: September 2001
E-mail: axbfeaurora@hotmail.com (Please send me feedback; I want to know what you think!)
Author’s Note/Summery: This story was orignally going to be part of Shipper Season Seven but following the tragic passing of Kevin Smith, it no longer seemed fit to air it. So, now it just one of my fanfic pieces and it is dedicated to Kevin Smith who I will always miss greatly. This one's for you, Kevin! This story refers to events that happend in Shipper Season Seven (basiclly, just that Xena is alive again after "A Friend In Need"). During a convention in the 21st century, an electrical short circuit sends the stars of Xena: Warrior Princess into the past and their character counterparts into the future.
A teenage girl sits on a bed in a 21st century looking room. The bed is in the corner of the room, a dresser next to it and on the other side of the room is a desk with books on the shelves and a computer. On the walls of the room are many posters and pictures from the show Xena: Warrior Princess, particularly pictures of Xena and Ares, but also ones of Gabrielle, one large one of Livia and a couple small ones of Eve. On one of the walls is an official Xena sword, Ares sword, chakram--old and new, and sais mounted on the wall.
The girl is wearing a Xena and Ares tee shirt and a chakram and a necklace of Ares’ old symbol. Her hair is dark brown, the sides pulled back into a barrette. She is reading a magazine when she hears the doorbell ring. She leaves the bedroom, enters the living room and opens the door. A girl about her age with long wavy dark brown hair stands in the doorway. She too is dressed in Xena attire, but particularly a shirt that features Livia, Champion of Rome.
GIRL:
Hey, Kendra! Ready to go?
KENDRA:
Yeah. Don’t want to be late to this once in a lifetime convention, do we, Rachel?
RACHEL:
No, we don’t. (smiles) Come on. I’m driving.
Kendra smiles and puts her hands around her friend as they leave the house, on their way to a Xena convention.
-------------
It’s dark out. Kendra and Rachel are driving in a car, Rachel at the wheel.
KENDRA:
I can’t wait to see the previews of what will happen this season. It was listed as one of the events this evening. It’s going to be so exciting.
RACHEL:
I know. I hope by the end of this season, something happens between Xena and Ares. I mean, really happens. Xena needs to stop denying everything and just go for it.
KENDRA:
Well, yeah, but I can’t really see them settling down together for life. It’s not their style. Having Xena admit to Ares that she loves him would be enough for me. That’s one thing that disappointed me last season--that they never resolved the relationship between them.
RACHEL:
I’m so glad that Rob Tapert and everyone else changed their minds about making season six the last season. I would have been to terribly depressed if the series ended with Xena dying by the hands of a Samurai and staying dead.
KENDRA (glances at her friend, smirks):
Rachel, when has Xena ever stayed dead? I mean she seems to have like nine lives or something. Killing Xena time and time again got old real fast but obviously, they wouldn’t be able to keep her dead. What would it be like if they kept Xena dead and Gabrielle became the star. (cringes) Perish the thought. Not that I hate Gabrielle or anything I just can’t see her carrying the show. And I’m sure Ares would be non-too pleased to see Gabrielle using the charkam and pretending she can do a war cry just as good as Xena.
RACHEL (nods):
Hmm... Now, if it were Eve, on the other hand, I don’t think I’d mind as much. I really like Eve even though I enjoyed her as Livia better. She was much more fun to watch minus the murdering streak. And that dark eye shadow... It so makes Livia...Livia. I’m glad Adrienne is going to be at the con too, I’m anxious to meet her.
KENDRA:
Yeah.
Kendra looks away from Rachel and out the front window. She begins to chuckle and Kari raises an eyebrow.
RACHEL:
What’s so funny?
KENDRA (points ahead):
Look.
She looks at the car in front of them too see a bumper sticker that says “WWXD: What Would Xena Do?”
RACHEL (smiles):
I’ve got a pretty good hunch where they’re going.
KENDRA (sighs):
I hope we get there soon.
RACHEL:
We’ll be there soon enough. You’re not the only one who’s nuts about this show.
-------------
A Xena convention in Colorado. The excited crowd screams and hollers awaiting the arrival of their favorite stars. Kendra and Rachel walk into the large crowded room with smiles on their faces.
KENDRA:
Gosh, I can’t wait to see Kevin Smith. He is so dang fine! Oh, and Lucy Lawless--she is just like the greatest actress that’s ever lived!
RACHEL:
Don’t forget about Adrienne, she’s my favorite. Oh, your mom is so cool. I can’t believe she paid for both of us. This is so awesome! I mean, conventions never come here and when one finally does, we get a chance to be a part of it.
The crowd begins to scream louder and Kendra and Rachel look around.
WOMAN:
Look, here they come!
Kendra and Rachel look ahead and see Kevin Smith, Lucy Lawless, Renee O’Connor, and Adrienne Wilkinson walking up onto the stage in front of the crowd, clothed not in normal cloths but in their costumes they wear on the show.
KENDRA (excitedly):
Come on! Lets get closer.
Kendra and Rachel push themselves through the crowd toward the front where they get a full view of the stage. Adrienne walks up to one of the microphones.
ADRIENNE:
Hey, everyone! How you all doing tonight? (the crowd screams louder and then quiets down some) Well, I am so glad to be here, it is just a pleasure for me to meet such excited fans. Anyway, lets get this show on the road, shall we?
The crowd cheers as Adrienne steps back and Kevin comes forward.
RACHEL (whispers to Kendra):
Oh, isn’t he gorgeous?
Kendra nods but isn’t very tuned into her friend, more on the man before her.
KEVIN:
To begin tonight, you are going to witness clips from the show never revealed to anyone else before. You are the lucky few. (chuckles) Everyone else will just have to wait and see what’s to come. (the crowd chuckles with him, he looks at Lucy) Lucy.
LUCY:
Ready, Kevin?
Renee walks up to her and gives her a small remote. Lucy pushes one of the buttons and a large film screen, the length of the stage, comes down behind them. The four of them step to the sides as the lights around the screen begin to dim.
Everyone quiets down as the projector hanging from the ceiling lights up the screen. Just as the images of Xena, Gabrielle, Eve, and Ares begin to show, there is a massive spark and the lights begin to flicker. Everyone gasps. Lucy, Renee, Adrienne, and Kevin run toward each other in front of screen. Suddenly, sparks of light flash all around, the crowd ducks and screams as the electrical cords spark and short circuit. There is a large blazing light around the actors for a few seconds then everything goes dark. Soon the light comes back on.
KENDRA:
What was that?
RACHEL:
I think a fuse shorted out or something.
Everyone mummers in confusion.
INTERCOM VOICE:
Everyone please stay calm. It’s just a minor technical problem and it will be dealt with as soon as possible. There is no need to panic.
RACHEL (flies hands up in the air in exasperation):
Well, that’s just great.
The two of them look at the stage to see the four actors standing as they had before. But something is different. Bewilderment and surprise covers their faces, their eyes wide in shock of what’s happened. Kendra looks at them curiously, trying to see what is different about them. They are looking at the crowd, their mouths practically gaping open as if they have never been there before. Then Lucy shakes her head, blinking a few times and looks around momentarily, and then unexpectedly gets into a defensive stance putting her hands in front of Renee and Adrienne, as if to protect them. Kevin draws the sword from his side.
KENDRA (confused by their actions):
What are they doing?
LUCY (a little above a whisper; no one else can here her):
All right. What in Tartarus is going on? What is this place?
RACHEL:
Are they all right? They could have been electrocuted and...
Kendra looks at them again and walks closer to the stage. Rachel follows her.
KENDRA:
I don’t know if it’s them... It is as if they...they aren’t the same people.
RACHEL (puts hands on hips):
What’s that supposed to mean?
Kendra looks deeply into their eyes. Lucy glances down at her and Sarah studies her eyes. After a moment, Kendra looks at her friend.
KENDRA:
That’s not Lucy. It’s...Xena...
Zoom in on Rachel’s confused and disbelieving expression
RACHEL:
What do you mean? How can they be...? Have you gone crazy?
KENDRA:
I just...know. I know Xena’s eyes and when Lucy plays the part, she has those eyes but as Lucy she doesn’t. We’re looking at Xena.
RACHEL (raises an eyebrow):
But...how?
KENDRA:
I don’t know. Maybe somehow the power outage did something like...acted as a time warp and transported them into the screen and their characters came out of the screen and into their place. After all, images of their characters were on the screen when the power outage happened.
RACHEL:
So...we’re looking at Xena, Gabrielle, Eve, and Ares instead of the actors?
KENDRA:
Yeah, I guess. And we’d better get them out of here before anyone finds out who they really are.
RACHEL:
Okay...even if this is all true, then how do you plan to get a couple of famous stars out without anyone else knowing?
KENDRA:
I don’t know but--
INTERCOM VOICE:
Ladies and gentleman, due to a series of technical problems, this building needs to be evacuated. We are sorry for the incontinence. Please evacuate in an orderly fashion and you will be notified of further information as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.
KENDRA (smiles):
This is perfect. When everyone leaves, we’ll have a chance to get them out.
The entire crowd quickly heads for the door, not in an orderly fashion whatsoever, grumbling, complaining, and some even cursing under their breath. Kendra and Rachel wait behind. When the crowd is finally gone, Kendra and Rachel walk up onto the stage.
KENDRA:
Xena?
XENA (she turns fiercely toward her, instinctively drawing her sword with one had and holding her chakram in the other):
Who are you?! How do you know my name?
KENDRA:
My name is Kendra and this is my friend, Rachel.
Xena looks at her from head to toe, perplexed by their unusual cloths and finally lowers her sword and puts the chakram back on her hip. Eve walks next to Xena.
EVE:
Mother, do you have any idea where we are? The last thing I remember was we were standing in a forest...
XENA (puts her hand on her daughters shoulder and looks reassuringly at her):
I don’t know, Eve.
KENDRA:
Look, it’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it later but first we need to get you out of here.
GABRIELLE:
Why?
RACHEL:
We just do. Come on.
Rachel walks down the stage steps, Kendra gestures for them to follow her. All four of them look at each other oddly.
ARES (puts his sword away then leans in and whispers in Xena’s ear):
This is some kind of black magic, I tell you.
XENA:
Don’t be so cynical.
Xena follows Kendra and Rachel and eventually, Ares, Eve and Gabrielle follow as well.
-------------
The six of them are standing outside in a small park area near the building where the convention had been held. An owl hoots in a tree nearby; streetlights light up the park.
XENA (looks at Kendra):
You seem to know a lot about us, the main one being who we are. I know I’ve never seen you before. And this place... (looks around) It just seems so different than anything I’ve ever seen before. What’s happened?
RACHEL:
You have been transported from ancient Greece, 2000 years into the future and switched with the actors who play you on TV. This is the 21st century.
GABRIELLE:
TV? Actors?
KENDRA:
Yes. (looks at Xena) See, around here, you have become an international icon. Xena: Warrior Princess is a show that has developed from the scrolls that you, Gabrielle write. You’re a legend.
ARES:
A legend, huh. (smirks) Well, Xena, you finally get to be remembered. You should feel proud.
EVE:
So...there are people who pretend to be like us. Like in the theater?
RACHEL:
Yes, exactly. Except that a person watches them through an electric box that projects a picture that they can see. It’s called a TV.
GABRIELLE (cocks her head in confusion):
What?
KENDRA:
It’s not important. Right now, we need to get you somewhere where other people won’t bother us.
RACHEL:
Do you have any idea how crazy people get when they come across famous actors like you?
GIRL #1:
Look! Over there, it’s Kevin Smith!
All six of them turn to their left to see, in the dim light, what looks to be a large group of young teenage girls, obviously having just exited the convention site. They are screaming and they begin to run toward them excitedly, waving their arms in the air.
GIRL #2 (shouting from a distance):
Can we have your autograph?!
KENDRA (points at the crowd):
*This* is what happens.
Ares looks at the group of girls and grins, clearly amused. For a second, a tree in the park blocks his view of them. He looks back at Kendra.
ARES:
All right. (looks at Xena, Gabrielle and Eve) Have fun dealing with them. I’m outa here.
Kendra opens her mouth to protest but he is gone before she can speak the first word. When the group of girls comes toward them from out of the view of the tree, they stop suddenly and look around, puzzled.
GIRL #2:
Where’d he go?
GIRL #3 (looks at the other actors in front of them with wide eyes who look back at them, speechless):
Ms. Lawless, can we have your autograph?
GIRL #2:
We simply adore your show!! It is the best thing that has ever come to TV! It’s my entire life!
They hold out pieces of paper and pens in front of Xena, Gabrielle and Eve. After a moment’s hesitation and egger faces from the girls, the three of them sign their names to each one of the papers the girls hold out for them.
GIRL #3 (looks at it and smiles):
Oh, look. (her friends crowd around her) They signed it “Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve.” How amusing.
GIRL #1 (looks at the supposed actors):
Thank you.
Eve, Gabrielle and Xena look at each other and then nod at the girls before she and the others leave.
KENDRA (puts a hand on Xena’s shoulder):
Lets go before we encounter anyone else.
XENA:
Good idea.
Kendra turns around and walks away from the girls, Rachel, Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve following close behind.
-------------
Lucy, Renee, Kevin and Adrienne are standing in the middle of a forest. It is dark, a campfire burning nearby. Just ahead of them is a clearing and beyond that is what looks to be some buildings, depicting a village, the sight of small fires burning in peoples homes can be seen.
The four actors are a little stunted, overcome with shock of what happened. Renee looks down at her hands and shakes them.
RENEE:
What just happened? How did we end up (looks around) here?
LUCY (shaking her head):
I...have no idea.
ADRIENNE (walks around the campsite):
Maybe this has something to do with that electric blowout at the convention. Maybe this is all because we were electrocuted and where we are now is all just an illusion. Could be possible.
KEVIN (cocks head):
Oh, and all of us are having the same illusion? Not likely. There has to be a better explanation.
Lucy picks up a stick from the fire and briefly runs her hand over the flames, making sure not to burn herself but close enough so that she can feel the flame across her fingers.
LUCY:
Well (puts the stick back) whatever has happened, this is defiantly not an illusion. Had it been, I wouldn’t have been able to feel the heat from that flame.
There is a deep rumbling from the sky and drops of rain begin to fall from the rather thick gray clouds. It is a fairly light rain at first but becomes quite a downpour in only a matter of a few minutes. The four of them try to find a spot where they won’t get drenched but it is no use.
RENEE (ducking down under a low hanging branch):
Well at least we know this isn’t some sort of dream. It’s way to real; we’re actually getting wet.
Kevin looks around, past the clearing of the forest and sees the image of a building in the distance.
KEVIN (waves hand at them, motioning to them to follow):
Come on!
Kevin heads off in a brisk walk and Renee, Lucy, and Adrienne follow.
-------------
They soon arrive at a large stone building and enter quickly. They are stopped in their tracks for a moment. The room is very large, with round, polished stone pillars all along the wall holding up the ceiling. The room is very pink and white, with lacy fabric hanging all around. There is a long elegantly engraved mahogany table standing all along the back wall with bowls of fruit, goblets of wine, and precious gems in the form of necklaces, bracelets and other trinkets.
ADRIENNE:
This is...too strange.
She walks up to the table and picks up the apple.
ADRIENNE:
Well, it’s not fake that’s for sure.
LUCY (raises up her index finger as if she’s had an idea):
I know. I bet I know what happened. When we got electrocuted, we were knocked unconscious. And then when we awoke, we ended up in this strange place. I bet this is part of a new set for some episode they’re working on.
KEVIN:
Lucy, New Zealand is several hundred thousand miles away. If that were true, then wouldn’t the crew be around somewhere? I haven’t seen anyone but us so far.
A bright yellow flash fills the room.
APHRODITE (appears at the other end of the room behind them):
Not anymore.
They turn around to see a slender woman with blonde curls in a skimpy, pink outfit that is practically see-through, sitting in a pink cushioned chair.
APHRODITE (looks at Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve):
What brings my favorite traveling trio to my temple?
LUCY:
Alexandria?
APHRODITE (giggles):
Who? (gets up and walks over to Lucy) You okay there, Xena?
LUCY:
Why are you calling me Xena? My real name is Lucy. (Aphrodite looks at her peculiarly) Oh, I get it; you’re rehearsing for a part, aren’t you?
APHRODITE:
You’ve really lost me. (looks at Kevin) Hey, Bro! (looks him up and down, raises an eye bow) Whoa. You’re like...soaked. Now, that makes no sense ‘cause I didn’t think gods got wet in the rain.
KEVIN:
God? Not in real life.
RENEE:
Why are you referring to use as the characters we portray? We aren’t on set now; you don’t have to pretend like we are.
Aphrodite can see the puzzlement in everyone’s eyes.
APHRODITE:
Something is like totally wrong with you guys today. You act like you haven’t a clue as to who I am. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were different people all together.
RENEE:
Well, who do you think you are, Alexandria?
APHRODITE:
Duh! I’m the Goddess of Love. And who’s this...Alexandria person? Nice name and all but it ain’t me.
KEVIN:
Aphrodite is your character. You’re an actor, not a goddess.
APHRODITE:
Oh, really? So, if I weren’t really a god, would I be able to do this?
Aphrodite covers them with yellow sparkles and they are instantly dried from head to toe. They are all amazed.
APHRODITE:
See? It’s what being a goddess is all about.
RENEE:
Okay. How is this possible? How can you really be a goddess? It doesn’t make sense. One moment we’re at a convention and the next we’re here in this strange land...with you.
ADRIENNE (eyes light up as though the light bulb went on inside her head):
The electrical short circuit. That has to be what happened. The electrical charge must have somehow transferred us into the world of the characters we play.
KEVIN:
So, you’re saying that the shows world has now become reality and we have been transported here while they were zapped into the 21st century?
ADRIENNE:
I don’t see any other explanation, do you?
LUCY:
You know, that does kinda make sense because we were standing in front of the projection screen when it was showing clips from the show when the power outage and short circuit occurred. It must have created their world to be reality and we switched places.
APHRODITE:
W-wait. Hold on there, darling. Are you saying that you aren’t Xena, Gabrielle, Eve or Ares? (they nod in unison) But you look identical to them. You’re even dressed the same.
RENEE:
It’s hard to explain but...it has to be true. What else could have happened?
APHRODITE:
Whoa. This is the like the weirdest thing I’ve ever witnessed in all my years. (pause) So, what are your names?
RENEE:
My name is Renee. This is Lucy, Adrienne, and Kevin.
KEVIN:
Listen...Aphrodite. Obviously, we can’t stay here forever. We need to find a way to get back to the time that we’re from.
ADRIENNE:
Maybe since you’re a goddess, you could be able to get us back there.
APHRODITE:
Uh, sure. I’m on it. I’ll see what I can do.
Aphrodite turns around and begins to disappear.
LUCY:
Aphrodite.
She appears completely and looks back.
LUCY:
Um, do you think maybe you could take us somewhere to stay for the night?
APHRODITE:
Sure thing, Xe--Lucy.
Aphrodite raises her hands and sends a blinding surge of yellow light at them and they disappear in a shimmer of sparkles. Aphrodite crosses her arms.
APHRODITE (a little sarcastic):
This is gonna be fun.
She shakes her head and disappears.
-------------
Rachel’s car pulls up into the driveway of Kendra’s house. It is slightly drizzly rain but nothing too major. They step out of the car followed by Xena, Gabrielle and Eve.
GABRIELLE:
This is where you live?
KENDRA:
Yep.
GABRIELLE:
I’ve never seen a house for one person that was so...huge.
KENDRA:
Oh, well, it’s not just me that lives here. My mom and dad live here along with my little sister.
RACHEL (touches Kendra’s shoulder):
Speaking of that, are we planning to have them stay here while your parents are home?
Kendra starts to walk toward the door.
KENDRA:
Don’t worry about that. My parents are spending the weekend at my grandparent’s house in the mountains and they took my little sister with them. They won’t be back until Sunday night. Hopefully, we’ll be able to figure out what to do by then.
Kendra unlocks the door and opens it and then they walk in.
RACHEL:
You mean your parents trusted you to take care of the house for an entire weekend by yourself? My parents would never allow me that privilege.
KENDRA:
Yeah, they did and aren’t you glad they did? This would be a lot more complicated if they were around, wouldn’t it?
Xena, Gabrielle and Eve walk into the room and Kendra closes and locks the door behind them. She turns on a lamp and Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve stand back in surprise.
EVE:
That’s the strangest torch I’ve ever seen.
RACHEL:
It’s not a torch; it’s called a lamp. It uses electricity that creates the light that you see.
GABRIELLE:
Electricity?
KENDRA:
It’s not important. I’ll let you know right now though--there are a lot of things in this time that will be very unusual to you. Many new experiences.
Kendra proceeds to show them around.
KENDRA:
This is the living room, over there is the kitchen and down the hall are the bedrooms. You’ll be staying in my parents room while you’re here; the bed is a king size bed, big enough for all three of you.
Kendra walks down the hall with the curious Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve.
RACHEL:
What about Ares?
KENDRA:
I don’t know where he is but I’m sure he’ll show up eventually. This place is as new to him as it is to them. I doubt he’ll be gone long, (leans in closer to Rachel, winks at here) especially since Xena’s here.
RACHEL:
Well, I’m going to call my parents and tell them I’m spending the night at your house. I’ll be right back.
Kendra nods and then enters one of the rooms at the end of the hall; Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve almost in awe when they see all the pictures of themselves on the walls of the room.
XENA:
You weren’t kidding when you said we were famous.
GABRIELLE:
These actors, as you call them, I think, bare a striking resemblance to us.
KENDRA:
Yeah. They do. I suspect that’s one of the reasons why they were chose for the role that they were.
EVE (stops looking at the wall, looks at Kendra):
And you’re really into the show too.
KENDRA (smiles):
Why else would my room look like this? Yeah, I’m a huge fan. I love everything about the show. Especially the dynamic between Xena and Ar--
She stops in mid sentence; Xena looks somewhat surprised.
XENA:
What?
KENDRA (takes a moment for her to respond, takes a deep breath):
The dramatic relationship you and Ares share together is just absolutely amazing.
XENA:
Relationship? That’s funny. (shakes head) I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You know, I think that this “show” (makes finger quotations in the air) has embellished the truth just a little too much.
KENDRA (challenging):
Oh, really?
XENA:
There is nothing going on between us and this conversation is now over.
Xena walks out of the room, sighing in exasperation as she leaves. Gabrielle and Eve look after her and then Gabrielle turns to Kendra.
GABRIELLE:
She’s always like that. I’ve learned to live with it.
KENDRA:
I’ve noticed. Its no wonder she’s like that; classic case of denial.
GABRIELLE:
Denial?
KENDRA:
Oh, yeah. Big time.
Gabrielle cracks a smile and then proceeds to walk around the room, looking at everything.
EVE (walks up to Kendra):
Kendra, do you have anything to eat around here? The last thing we had was rabbit stew for lunch, quite a while ago and let me tell you, (smiles) that doesn’t fill you up for very long.
KENDRA:
Sure. And I can tell you that if there was only one thing you enjoyed about this time, it would probably be the food.
Kendra puts her hand on Eve’s shoulder and walks out of the room, Gabrielle soon leaving as well.
-------------
The lighting flashes through the sky, camera zooms in on a small building and then in through one of its windows where the image of Kevin, Lucy, Adrienne, and Gabrielle can be seen, appearing from a yellow light.
KEVIN (looks down at himself):
I always wondered what it felt like to really travel like that.
The place where Aphrodite has transported them to looks to be a tavern, with people talking and eating and young women up on stage dancing to Middle Eastern music. It is a very lively place even on this dark and stormy night.
ADRIENNE:
Well, I suppose we should get something to eat and then get to bed. Maybe then, we’ll finally be able to put an end to this crazy dream we’re having, at least for a while.
RENEE:
Sounds good to me.
The four of them look around the room for an empty table. They find one that is near the back of the room and as they proceed toward it, they hear a familiar voice calling from behind them.
HERCULES:
Xena?
Lucy turns around. Hercules walks up to her and Renee with a huge smile on his face and hugs Lucy friendly.
HERCULES (backs away from Lucy):
Gabrielle. (hugs her too)
Lucy and Renee are a little stunned by his actions. They keep reminding themselves that the man who hugs them is not Kevin Sorbo but Hercules.
HERCULES:
It’s been such a long time. I heard you died a long time ago. I’m surprised to see you here and (looks at them carefully; raises an eyebrow) in such good condition too. You two look great; haven’t aged a bit. Amazing.
Lucy opens her mouth to speak but stops for a moment. Kevin and Adrienne walk up next to her.
LUCY:
Well, Hercules, we’re not the only ones.
HERCULES (lively):
But I have good reason. The blood of a god runs through my veins, preventing me from aging. So I guess being half god has its advantages. (grins)
Lucy (stops to think for a moment, deciding what should be said next):
And uh, we were asleep and preserved in an ice cave for twenty-five years. (smiles) So, we have good reason too, you know.
HERCULES:
You were what?
RENEE:
It’s a long story. A very long story.
Hercules looks over at Adrienne standing next to Lucy.
HERCULES:
And who is this lovely lady?
Adrienne almost blushes. Lucy puts a hand on her shoulder.
LUCY:
This is Adr--Eve, my daughter.
HERCULES:
This is Eve? The last time I saw you, you were just a little baby, new to this world. You’ve sure grown up into a beautiful young woman.
ADRIENNE:
It’s nice to meet you, Hercules.
Adrienne sits down at the table next to them; Renee follows. Hercules then gets a glimpse of Kevin, the striking image of the God of War, standing nearby. Hercules’ eyes narrow in anger.
HERCULES:
What are you doing here? (he walks toward him)
KEVIN:
I--
LUCY (steps in front of him, stopping Hercules’ advances):
It’s not what you think; he’s not who you think he is.
HERCULES (looks at her):
What do you mean?
LUCY (takes a deep breath):
This isn’t Ares. (pauses) His name...is Kevin.
HERCULES (searches his eyes):
What?
Lucy and Kevin sit down with Renee and Adrienne. Hercules hesitantly does the same.
LUCY (to herself):
This lie can’t go on forever. (louder) Hercules, we are not who you think we are. My name is Lucy; this is Kevin, Renee, and Adrienne.
Hercules is speechless; he just looks at them completely baffled.
RENEE:
We aren’t the Xena, Gabrielle, Eve or Ares that you think we are.
HERCULES:
That doesn’t make sense. You look just like...them.
LUCY:
I know. But it’s true.
RENEE:
See, what happened is...we’re from the future, far into the future, around 2000 years or so.
ADRIENNE:
It’s a complicated story but in short, we were accidentally transported here while the characters that we portray--Xena, Gabrielle, Eve and Ares--were transported into our time period and we suspect that’s where they are now.
HERCULES (takes a deep breath):
This is weird. (looks at Lucy) You aren’t Xena? (she nods) So does being here mean you can’t go back to where you came from? Are you trapped here forever?
KEVIN:
Well, we hope not. Aphrodite is working on a way to get us back and Xena and all the others back here.
HERCULES:
Aphrodite? This should be interesting. Just hope she doesn’t screw it up.
RENEE (chuckles):
Yeah, that wouldn’t be too good. No offense, but I wouldn’t want to live here for the rest of my life.
An exchange of glances between all of them during a moment of silence.
LUCY:
We plan on staying here tonight and hope to hear from Aphrodite in the morning. But who knows how long it’ll be until we can go back to where we came from. I’m sure Xena, Gabrielle and the rest of them are as anxious to return home as we are.
HERCUELS:
Had anything to eat yet?
LUCY:
I was just going to mention that. No, we haven’t.
HERCULES:
You guys just stay put and I’ll be back with something for dinner. I’m guessing you don’t have any money, right?
ADRIENNE:
Not the kind that would be of any use to you.
HERCULES:
That’s what I thought. Be back soon.
Hercules gets up from the table and all four of them look at each other.
ADRIENNE:
Life here is easier than I would have guessed.
They all exchange a light chuckle.
-------------
The dim light from the TV flickers in the dark room. Xena, Gabrielle, Eve, Rachel and Kendra are sitting in the living room eating hamburgers and fries. Ares appears to the side of them.
ARES (glances at the TV and then looks at Xena who looks back at him):
You sure seem to be enjoying yourselves. You could very well stay here forever.
XENA:
Yeah...sure. Where have you been?
ARES:
Oh, I’ve been around. I gotta say; this world is exciting. Did you know that people here have weapons that can shot a small round pellet at a person and kill them instantly?
GABRIELLE (sarcastic):
Great. Been doing some research, have you?
Xena shakes her head. Eve looks at Kendra and Rachel.
EVE:
Do you have any idea how you plan to send us back?
RACHEL:
Well (looks at Kendra) we’re working on it.
KENDRA:
Right now, we don’t really know.
GABRIELLE:
Ares, you’re a god. Why don’t you just use your powers to send us back?
ARES:
I probably could. But why would I want to leave this glorious place? This world is much better than anything before. It’s got everything I’d ever want.
EVE:
Except that it’s not home.
Xena stands up and walks up to Ares.
XENA:
You can’t be serious. You seriously expect us to believe that you never want to go home again?
GABRIELLE:
And even though you don’t want to leave, you would just keep us here too?
ARES (to Gabrielle; smirks):
I didn’t say that. Why would I keep you here if all I was going to here from you were complaints? I think not.
Ares walks up closer to Xena.
ARES (to her, almost in a whisper):
Why don’t I send them back so we can have this entire new world to ourselves? No Eve, no Gabrielle--the way it should be.
Kendra and Rachel look at each other and wink; understanding exactly what is happening.
ARES:
It could be good, just you and me.
Ares leans in to kiss her neck but Xena grabs his chin with her hand, stopping him.
XENA:
Get real, Ares. (she steps back)
She turns and starts to walk away.
ARES (barely above a whisper; intended only for Xena’s ears):
I know it appeals to you, Xena.
As she moves away from him, he disappears and reappears in front of her, pulling her toward him and kisses her, not too passionately but enough for Xena to almost respond. Gabrielle and Eve look at each other briefly; Eve is somewhat shocked. The kiss is short, Xena pulling away almost at the same time it began. Her expression is that of almost embarrassment and mixed feelings, not knowing how to respond.
ARES (grins):
Told you.
XENA:
Forget it. And we’re going back whether we get your help or not.
ARES:
Whatever you say.
XENA (sighs):
But it’ll have to be tomorrow. I’m going to get some rest.
Xena walks down the hall toward the bedrooms; Eve, Gabrielle, Rachel and Kendra say nothing. They look at Ares who in tern looks at them.
ARES (almost innocently):
What? (he disappears)
KENDRA (chuckles quietly):
The complexity. You never know what could happen next. (glancing at Rachael) Now you see why I love those two together so much?
Gabrielle shakes her head and Eve sighs.
RACHEL:
I’m going to bed too. I think it’s about time for all of use to get some sleep. We’ll figure things out in the morning. Good night, everyone. (she leaves)
Kendra turns off the TV and then she, Eve and Gabrielle leave as well.
-------------
Daylight. The sun comes up and the camera cuts to Lucy, Renee, Adrienne, Kevin and Hercules standing outside the tavern where they had spent the night. Aphrodite appears.
APHRODITE:
I’ve got it! It’s totally easy. All I have to do is zap you back.
KEVIN:
What?
APHRODITE:
Yeah, simple huh?
RENEE:
So, it took you all night to figure this out? (leans over toward Hercules) I can see why you’re worried about her, Hercules.
APHRODITE:
Well, I thought I’d wait ‘till morning. Wouldn’t you rather get a good nights rest before heading out on a journey through time?
RENEE:
I guess. Do what you have too. We just wanna go back.
APHRODITE (perky):
Okay.
Aphrodite raises her arms and is about to send them back when she stops for a moment, seeing Hercules still standing with them.
APHRODITE:
Bro, you’re kinda in the way there. I mean that’s fine and dandy if you want to go with them but I don’t think you do.
HERCULES:
Right.
He steps away, Lucy, Renee, Kevin and Adrienne gathering together.
HERCULES:
It’s been...interesting.
KEVIN:
Same here, Hercules. Same here.
APHRODITE:
You guys ready? I really don’t have all day.
ADRIENNE (looks at everyone else; they nod):
Yeah, we’re ready.
Aphrodite raises her hands again and they are illuminated with a bright yellow light.
-------------
Xena, Gabrielle, Eve, and Ares, are all standing in the kitchen. It is morning. Kendra and Rachel are at the stove making breakfast. Suddenly, a faint but detectable yellow light starts to glow around their bodies; Kendra and Rachel nearly drop their utensils and plates that they hold in their hands.
GABRIELLE:
What’s happening?
The light continues to get brighter and brighter until finally, Kendra and Rachel are forced to shield their eyes. The light becomes so intense that Kendra and Rachel can no longer see Xena and the others anymore. Soon, it fades and they are once again visible.
KENDRA:
What just happened?
RACHEL:
I don’t know but...maybe their back! What else could it have been? (looks at Xena or her assumption that it is still Xena) Xena?
Lucy turns her head sharply and looks at the two teenagers and then looks inquisitively around the house.
KEVIN (looks at the teenagers):
Is this the 21st century?
KENDRA:
Yes.
RENEE (sigh of relief):
It worked. It really worked!
ADRIENNE:
I can’t believe it.
KENDRA (looks at Lucy):
So you’re Lucy Lawless, not Xena? (she nods) But how?
LUCY:
It was... I can’t believe I’m saying this. It was Aphrodite, if you can believe it.
RACHAEL:
Oh, trust me. We can believe it. (smiles)
RENEE:
It was kinda strange for you too then, huh?
KENDRA AND RACHEL:
Oh, yeah.
KEVIN (looks at they’re shirts, similar to the ones they had on the previous night--X:WP ones):
I see you two are fans and I guess, since we’re here and all; you’d like to have an autograph. Am I right?
Kendra and Rachel look at each other with a gleam in their eyes.
KENDRA (trying not to seem to egger):
Well, not particularly but, if you don’t mind...
-------------
Xena, Gabrielle, Ares, and Eve are standing in the same spot that Kevin, Renee, Lucy, and Adrienne had moments ago. Aphrodite and Hercules look at them intriguingly, wondering if it worked.
HERCULES (to Aphrodite):
Did it work?
GABRIELLE (looking at their surroundings, smiles):
Yep.
EVE:
We’re home.
APHRODITE (proud of herself):
I’m so good.
XENA (walk up to Aphrodite):
Thanks, Aphrodite.
APHRODITE:
No sweat. Just a little (winks) divine intervention. Well, if you guys don’t need me for anything else, I’m outa here. (disappears)
Xena walks back to where Ares is standing.
XENA:
Disappointed you’re back?
ARES (looks down and then glances into her eyes):
Not as long as you’re around. (disappears)
Gabrielle and Eve walk up next to Xena, Hercules with them.
HERCULES:
This has been a very unusual day.
XENA:
Yeah, it has. (puts her hands on both Gabrielle and Eve’s shoulders) And we’re glad to be back. Why don’t we get something for breakfast? Don’t know about you, but we haven’t eaten yet. We’ve been a little...preoccupied lately.
HERCUELS:
No objection here.
He puts his arm around her and all four of them head into the tavern.
THE END
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