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Reconcilliation
By: Leila
1. Ares
Is it unthinkable
That I might have a heart?
Is it unimaginable
That I might really care?
Maybe in the past I've made it so.
My motives concerning you
Have always been in question.
What is it, exactly, that I want?
Do I want you to be my conqueror,
An instrument of War?
Or do I want your body,
A conquest of my own?
My obsession with you
Has always baffled others,
But what no one else can see
Is perfectly clear to me.
I want you.
My Warrior Princess,
As regal in peace as in war,
As much a force of nature as myself,
As much a part of my heart
As you ever were.
Search a million years
And I could not find perfection
Greater than I have here,
But wait one second
And you will have passed me by.
Everyone want someone to love them.
Why shouldn't I?
2. Xena
Everyone wants to feel protected at some time.
Why shouldn't I?
Everyone needs to feel safe.
Why am I any different?
But should I sell my soul
Just to obtain that peace?
Would it be so bad a thing
To give myself to you?
Would surrender be a crime?
I feel a kinship with you
That I can't explain or describe,
But you're my enemy.
You're responsible for my pain.
When I longed for the light,
You brought only night.
So how can I need you now?
How can I seal my daughter's fate
By refusing you?
And surrender would be so sweet...
Every time you're near me
I wonder how you make me feel
The way I feel.
You touch me and I shiver at the warmth
You lean towards me -
I have to stop myself from reaching out to you.
You whisper in my ear
And I shudder at the nearness of your voice.
I can't help but want to touch you,
I can't help but long to hear
You whisper promises of glory
While holding me.
Caress my mind with your voice,
My body with your hands.
I am alive with the closeness of you,
I burn with desire for you.
When you're around, all I want to do
Is lose myself in you.
I hate you for making me want you.
I hate you for never letting me forget.
And most of all, I hate you
For not being the cause of all my problems.
You make me realize
That a part of me will always crave conflict,
A part of me doesn't want peace.
It wasn't your fault I became what I was,
But I blame you for letting me be that way.
And you make me realize
That you gave me a gift back then.
You took a vessel of hatred,
Shaped it into a warrior's soul.
You gave me a purpose,
Made me your Princess.
I think you may have saved me.
Although you never realized
And although I never knew,
I think you loved me even then,
The love of a creator for his creation.
You were the first person
To place a value on my life.
(And to you, I was priceless.)
When I didn't need you anymore,
I foolishly thought you'd let me go.
When I didn't want you anymore,
I thought you never wanted me.
But you bound me to a promise I had made
And made me hate you.
I couldn't see then, but I'm beginning to now.
You don't know what it is to love,
To have someone love you.
And I was the only thing
That ever belonged to you alone.
I don't know what it's like
To seek someone's approval
And never get it.
I don't know what it's like
To want something undetermined,
Undefinable because you've never
Experienced it before.
And I never knew you cared about me.
I always thought I was just an object to you.
Even now I can't be sure.
But surrender would be so sweet...
And I need you.
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