:: THURSDAY NIGHT REDEMPTION ::
5th September 2002

[Thursday Night Redemption kicks off with a bang, as the cameras sweep around the arena showing the legions of cheering fans packed into the building. As the fireworks and light shows die down, we go over to the commentary table to join the Redemption broadcast team of Gavin Jones and Taff.]

GAV: "Hello folks, and a FANTASTIC welcome to what is set to be another smashing edition of Thursday Night Redemption! Headlining our card tonight- Clint Hill the Hardcore Champion challenging ‘The Huckster’ Bob Jones for the CWF Championship!"

TAFF: "Oh forget about that dinosaur Gav, what I’m excited about is that Table Match between Phil Leach and Dan Jones! I bet my sandwich on Dan making it two in a row!"

GAV: "Oh come on, you’re just excited about that match because tables remind you of having dinner!"

TAFF: "… How DARE you!"

[Before Taff’s feelings get hurt anymore, "" hits over the PA system. After a moment of buzzing uncertainty, a massive cheer erupts from the crowd as Seb Beynon appears beneath the McMartynTron. With a friendly wave to the crowd, the returning superstar makes his way down to the ring. He energetically hops through the ropes and into the ring, then leaps up to pose on the turnbuckle. As his music dies down Seb takes a microphone and begins to speak.]

SEB: "Hey!"

[This simple greeting gets a loud cheer from the crowd.]

SEB: "Man, it feels good to be back! These cheering fans, these bright lights, those hand towels you can nick from the hotel rooms! It feels great being back on the road again, but unfortunately, I came back to the CWF to deal with an unpleasant bit of business. The nature of that business? Andrew McMartyn!"

TAFF: "Why are these people booing Andrew McMartyn?! Idiots!"

SEB: "Yeah! See, while I was off and away from the CWF, I sat at home watching TV just like everyone else. And just like everyone else, I saw what Andrew McMartyn was doing to the decent, hard working staff of the CWF, and it made me sick! And last week on Turbulence, when Andrew McMartyn took out Pete Nancollis- my friend- and drove him through that announce table … that was the straw that broke the camel’s back! That very night, I dug out my old wrestling gear and I decided to come back to the CWF … to teach that lowly Andrew a proper lesson!"

[More cheering echoes around the arena as Seb nods his head in approval.]

SEB: "SO let’s cut straight to the chase. Andrew, you’re not dealing with the staff around here any more. You’re dealing with a working, active competitor- and this active competitor wants to kick your ASS! So what do you say, Andrew? In ten days time it’ll be CWF Sub Zero, the September PPV. What’s say you come out here RIGHT NOW and accept my challenge for Sub Zero!"

GAV: "Seb Beynon calling out Andrew McMartyn, and challenging him to a PPV battle!"

[Seb waits intently in the ring for a response, and suddenly the lights go down and music hits. It’s not Andrew McMartyn however, but Phil ‘The Man’ Leach! A massive cheer rumbles through the arena as the Gentleman Pimp hip-hops down the aisle and climbs into the ring. As "It’s My Life" dies down Phil takes a microphone. In the centre of the ring, Phil and Seb stare solemnly at one another. For what seems like an age, both men looks back unblinkingly at the other. Finally, they move towards each other … and hug!]

GAV: "These two friends seemingly ecstatic to see one another again! Brilliant!"

TAFF: "Friendship?! Pah!"

GAV: "Oh, you’re just jealous cos you haven’t got any friends!"

[The two best friends finish their warm embrace, and pull away, broad smiles on their faces. Seb even looks a little sheepish.]

PHIL: "Seb-mate, where you been? It’s been too long! I’m busting my ass here in the CWF, winning titles and kicking asses, and you’re sitting on your ass?! Hells bells!"

SEB: "It’s good to see you, mate. And it’s nice to see your doing a good job of kicking my old foe Dan’s ass, too!"

PHIL: "Well hey, mate, come on … let’s not reminisce like this out here in the ring- I vote we go to the pub! Isn’t it your round?!"

[Seb Beynon grins at Phil’s old tricks. He pats Phil on the back.]

SEB: "Phil, it’s been MY round since about 1998!"

[The friends both grin and turn to leave, but are suddenly cut off as "Control" blares through the arena. A massive boo goes up as Andrew McMartyn saunters out onto the stage, microphone in hand. As his music dies down, Andrew wipes floods of imaginary tears from his eyes. Phil Leach and Seb Beynon look n, utterly unimpressed.]

ANDREW: "Oh, how sweet, how touching … enough to bring tears to your eyes! Phil … and Seb … together again. Just when I thought this place couldn’t get any more full of idiots and practical jokers! It’s all very well you being out here Phil, but shouldn’t you be worrying about Dan? You ARE wrestling him in a dangerous Table Match tonight!"

PHIL: "Why don’t you just mind your own business- BITCH! I suggest if you’ve got a point to prove, you come down to this ring and prove it- to both me AND Seb…"

ANDREW: "Ahaha, very droll Phil, very droll. You must be mad if you think I’m going to clib into the ring with you two at the same time. And after all, I’m just trying to give you two buffoons some helpful advice … watch your backs!"

[CRACK! CRACK! Out of nowhere, a black figure appears in the ring behind Phil and Seb, both preoccupied by Andrew at the top of the stage. With two hard shots to the back courtesy of the steel chair he is carrying, Dan Jones lays out both friends to the mat. Andrew hurries down the ring as the fans boo loudly and rolls into the ring. Dan tosses the steel chair to Andrew then proceeds to beat down Phil with vicious punches to the face. Seb Beynon tries to struggle up to save his friend, but eats another chair shot to the back thanks to Andrew McMartyn.]

GAV: "This is terrible! Andrew McMartyn and Dan Jones have laid a fiendish trap for both their enemies!"

[Now both Andrew and Dan begin to wail away on Phil, beating the Gentleman Pimp down to the mat with fury. Behind them, Seb slowly comes to, and charges. He knocks Andrew down to the mat and tackles down Dan, furiously smashing away with frantic punches. Dan is knocked back under the onslaught, but Andrew nails Seb from behind and pulls him up … Final Solution to Seb Beynon! Seb lies unconscious on the floor, and Andrew rolls out of the ring and goes underneath the aprons, pulling out a table!]

GAV: "Oh no!"

TAFF: "This is great!"

[Andrew pushes the table into the ring, where Dan readily sets it up. A helpless Phil is dragged to his feet, and Andrew and Dan deliver a Double Spinebuster, brutally driving ‘The Man’ right through the wood! The fans boo wildly as Seb lies unconscious and Phil lies amongst the wreckage of the table nearby. "I Stand Alone" begins to play as the assailants exit the ring and begin walking back up the ramp, satisfied smiles on their faces.]

TAFF: "Hahahaha! Phil Leach has ALREADY gone through a table tonight, and his match hasn’t even happened yet! I love it!"

[Andrew and Dan triumphantly retreat into the back, raising each other’s arms in victory as their two enemies lie broken and unmoving in the ring…]

BOLIER ROOM BRAWL
Stone Cold Andy Morgan vs Damian Ali
Referee: Sid Jefferies

GAV: "Well ladies and gentlemen, it's time to invite our next match... it should be 'TREMENDOUS'!!!"

TAFF: "I agree. This past Turbulence Damian Ali and Stone Cold Andy Morgan never eactually made it to the ring for their match up because Damian Ali jumped the gun and attacked Stone Cold backstage! But tonight, in a match set up by the vice prez, Damian Ali and Stone Cold can beat each other black and blue with as many weapons as they like!"

[The McMartyntron flashes to life, showing the boiler room, where Stone Cold Andy Morgan waits for Damian Ali to arrive. He has a 2x4 in his hands and is slapping it against his palm. ]

TUCK: "The following contest is the Boiler Room Brawl! The winner of this match will be determined by the first person to leave the boiler room. In the boiler room at present... STONE COLD ANDY MORGAN!!!"

[The door of the boiler room opens and Damian Ali enters carrying a garbage can of goodies, including a baseball bat, a steel chair and a stop sign. Referee Sid Jefferies shuts the door behind Ali and retreats to a safe distance as Damian Ali throws down the garbage can and stares down Stone Cold Andy Morgan. Stone Cold stares back with equal intensity. Suddenly Stone Cold begisn attacking Ali with the 2x4 and then delivers a devatsing dropkick, sending Ali flying backwards!]

GAV: "Excellent move by Stone Cold there! Doesn't look like he's lost a step..."

TAFF: "Well I'll be damned..."

[Ali quickly scatters to his feet, and enraged, he begins to throw wild punches all across the board. Tearing away at Stone Cold with rights and lefts, Stone Cold has no where to go but backward and into a corner. Trapped, Stone Cold is bombarded with pummelling punches from Ali, until he literally falls face first out of the corner. Stone Cold tries his damndest to escape, however, Ali catches him by the head, lifts him high into the air, and drops him down with a beautifully maneuvered brainbuster. The crowd cringe as he is dropped on his cranium, and bounces once or twice.]

GAV: "Good God, that was sheer power on the part of Damian Ali!"

TAFF: "A graceful monster..."

[Stone Cold is pulled to his feet once more, and Ali grins. He irish whips Stone Cold so hard into the wall that upo impact Stone Cold bounces back landing halfwayb across the floor. Everyone in the arena, including the referee, had to turn their heads during that. Ali swoops over to the garbage can with the fury of a demon. He grabs the steel chair, and moves back to Stone Cold, whom seems to be regaining his composure. However, any hopes of a comeback is lost as Ali wails away on his opponent!]

[CRACK!]

[CRACK!]

[CRACK!]

[CRACK!]

GAV: "HE'S TAKING THIS TOO DAMN FAR!"

TAFF: "AND WE LOVE IT! This is what the fans want to see!"

GAV: "I'll tell you something though, I've never seen Stone Cold get man handled like this..."

[Ali holds Stone Cold in a reversed DDT position, apparently going for a DDT on top of that chair. Knowing full well that he risks Stone Cold's personal health, he decides to test's the referree's patience, until suddenly...]

GAV: "This is it for Stone Cold!!!"

TAFF: "Uhh....Gav..."

GAV: "WHAT!?!?!"

TAFF: "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!"

[Stone Cold, soaked in blood, manages to wriggle free and ducks behind Ali. When Ali turns to face Stone Cold, he is met with a weird substance in his eyes that Stone Cold throw at him, and a huge baseball swing with that steel chair across Ali's cranium.]

[CRACK!]

[Stone Cold throws the chair out of the way, and then heads for the door!]

GAV: "Stone Cold is going to win!"

[Stone Cold calmly and cooly opens the door and exits the boiler room... but is pushed back inside by.... FELICIA?]

GAV: "OH MY GOD! FELICIA WAS WAITING OUTSIDE THE ROOM AND HAS PUSHED STONE COLD BACK INTO THE ROOM!!!"

TAFF: "AND RIGHT INTO A CHAIR SHOT BY DAMIAN ALI!"

[CRACK!]

[Stone Cold goes down, and a slightly dazed Damian Ali staggers towards the door of the boiler room. He is pulled out by Felicia and referee Sid Jefferies declares that the match is over!]

[DING! DING! DING!]

TUCK: "Your winner... DAMIAN ALI!!!"

GAV: "Look at Stone Cold! He's a bloddy mess!"

TAFF: "I have a feeling that this is FAR from over..."

[We join Mr McMartyn in his executive lounge within the arena. The CWF President stands with his hands on his hips, attempting to retain his composure amidst the noise around him. McMartyn’s corporate stooges, Ingham and Quarterman stand alongside him, bickering loudly. Before the CWF President stands Swedish manager Sven Oder-Svensson, along with his protégé the now-former Intercontinental Champion Hans Grip. As Mr McMartyn looks on, all four men argue and bicker amongst themselves vocally, no one voice able to be made out over the others. Finally, Mr McMartyn loses his patience.]

MCMARTYN: "Shut up, all of you! Just be quiet before you give me a headache, and believe you me, you don’t want that to happen!"

[The rumble of disagreement abruptly comes to an end.]

MCMARTYN: "Now Mr Svensson, what exactly do you and your friend here want?"

SVEN: "Mr McMartyn, Hans and I are merel-"

[The manager is swiftly cut off by his angry associate.]

HANS: "THE HUCKSTER! The Huckster is the one I am here to see you about! He cost me my Intercontinental Title- the title I had for so long! He must pay for this!"

SVEN: "HANS! Please … "He must pay for this … SIR!"

[Hans ignores his manager’s scolding, looking on as Mr McMartyn scratches his chin thoughtfully]

MCMARTYN: "Hhm … payback, eh? What exactly did you have in mind, Hans?"

HANS: "He cost me my title, now I shall cost him his!"

MCMARTYN: "Ah … so you want to interfere in The Huckster’s match against Clint Hill here tonight? Well I’m sorry Hans, I just can’t have that!"

HANS: "WHAT?! You take HIS side, after he cost me my title?!"

[Mr McMartyn shakes his head in annoyance as Sven attempts to placate his angry charge.]

MCMARTYN: "No no no! Of course I’m not taking his side … but I am telling you that there is a better way. After all, what greater payback than to take The Huckster’s own title away from him?!"

HANS: "Yah, this is true…"

MCMARTYN: "Excellent, I knew you would see my way of thinking Hans! I’m pleased to announce it will be you, Hans Grip, challenging The Huckster Bob Jones for the CWF Championship at Sub Zero! Congratulations!"

[The scene fades out as Sven and Hans grin broadly at one another, the big Swede’s place in the main event at Sub Zero now confirmed…]

3-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH
The Legacy of Get Bent vs Kid Punk
Referee: Phil James

TUCK: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a handicap match! Introducing first... KID PUNK!!!"

[Kid Punk appears as the music hits. He sprints down to the ring and slides under the ropes. He bounces off the turnbuckles and raises his arm.]

TAFF: "Kid Punk in the ring with three gorgeous girls... some might say he's lucky more than anything!"

GAV: "That may be true, Taff, but let's face it, he's been asking for this for a while. Beating up women outside the ring isn't cool!"

TAFF: "But it is in the ring? I think you may have opened up a debate here."

['Points of Authority (reanimation mix)' by Linkin Park starts to play over the arena. Green, yellow and pink pyros go off as the Legacy of Get Bent appear at the top of the ramp. Acid, Julia and Fallon pose for the crowd and then they walk down to the ring. They climb into the ring and stand facing Kid Punk.]

GAV: "The Legacy of Get Bent recently formed on Turbulence. They could be a force to be reckoned with not only now, but in the future also."

TAFF: "The official Women's Lib of the CWF!"

[The music dies down and Fallon, who is clearly starting off the bout, walks to the center of the ring and looks Kid Punk in the eye. Acid and Julia wait in the corner.]

[DING! DING! DING!]

[There is no hesistation on Kid Punk's part as he dives straight into the bout, locking up with Fallon. Kid Punk capitalises and turns the tie up into a DDT, sending Fallon crashing to the match. Fallon holds her head in pain as Kid Punk drtgas her up and irish whips her into the ropes. As she comes be, he dropkicks her, sending her back down.]

GAV: "Not a very good start for Fallon. If the Legacy want to win, they're going to hafta get their skates on!"

[Fallon is still on the canvas as Kid Punk bounces off the ropes and attempts a leg drop. Fallon rolls out of the way just in time, an Kid Punk lands on his ass. Fallon crawls over to the corner and tags in Acid who climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. As Kid Punk gets to his feet, Acid dives off the top rope and catches him with an impressive hurricanrama. Acid gets an amazing pop from the crowd as a result of this, but oes not let it distract her. She quickly gets to her feet and drags Kid Punk up and delivers a few chops to the chest. She then whips him into the corner opposite her team mates, and kneels down on the canvas, locked her hands together in front of her. Fallon leaps over the ropes, runs towards Acid, uses Acid's hands as a springbopard and flips mid air to perform a standing senton bomb! The crowd goes wild as Fallon strikes Kid Punk and he falls to the ground in a heap.]

GAV: "THAT WAS AMAZING!"

TAFF: "I don't think I've seen anything like that before!"

[Fallon returns to the corner and tags in Julia, who helps Acid to pull Kid Punk up. The two women put Kid Punk into a DDT position and BAM!]

TAFF: "Double DDT by Acid and Julia!"

[Acid and Fallon then go off to separate locations in the ring. Acid goes upstairs, whilst Fallon waits patiently by the ropes. Julia drags Kid Punk up by the hair, punches him a couple of times and then performs a running bulldog on him. The crowd go wild as Kid Punk falls to the canvas yet again, but is instantly dragging up by Julia, who promptly moves out of the way as Fallon bounces of the ropes and performs her patented move 'Contradanza' on him. Fallon then moves away and join Julia as the egg the crowd on to cheer as Acid performs 'Acid Burnz' off the top rope and goes staright for the pin...]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[..3!!!]

TUCK: "Here are your winners... THE LEGACY OF GET BENT!!!"

GAV: "Kid Punk never had a chance!"

TAFF: "Indeed! Those girls are great as a team!"

['Points of Authority' plays again over the sound system opening the celebration of the first win by the Legacy. The group hug and jump up to opposite corners of the ring and wave the devil horns at the crowd, who give them a huge pop.]

GAV: "One things for certain- we're going to see alot more of this in the future. The Legacy of Get Bent is here to stay!"

"BEST OF FIVE SPECIALITY TOURNAMENT ROUND THREE: TABLE MATCH
PHIL ‘THE MAN’ LEACH VS DAN JONES

[We return to the arena where the intensity is electric amongst the fans. The air could be cut with a knife, but instead "I Stand Alone" slices through the hum-drum.]

TUCK: "The following match is the third round of the "Best Of Five Speciality Tournament", and is a TABLE MATCH! Coming down the aisle, from Bristol England weighing in at 231 lbs, DAN JONES!"

[The "Lone Wolf" of the CWF is booed heavily as he makes his way to ringside. As Dan Jones enters through the ring ropes, we see that several tables have been set up around the ring perimeter, leaning against the retaining crowd barricades. In the ring, Dan Jones removes his wide brimmed hat and leather trenchcoat, and awaits the arrival of his long-time nemesis.]

GAV: "I see you’ve got another one of those envelopes in your hands, Taff!"

TAFF: "Yeah Gav, but its for me to see, not you! This little envelope contains Dan’s choice for the next match in this series, and I’m going to reveal it at the end of this match!"

["It’s My Life" hits over the PA, and the ecstatic fans rise to their feet in order to spot their hero, the indomitable Gentleman Pimp, Phil ‘The Man’ Leach. ‘The Man’ boogies out onto the ring ramp and heads for the ring, slapping hands with the fans as he goes.]

TUCK: "And his opponent, from Llanbadoc Docks Usk, weighing in at 237 lbs, PHIL ‘THE MAN’ LEACH!!"

[Rather than enter the ring, Phil quickly removes his entrance attire on the outside, then heads over towards the crowd barricade and picks up a table! The Gentleman Pimp carries the furniture over to the ring apron and tries to put it in under the ropes, only to have Dan Baseball Slide into the wood and knock it straight back into his face! As the bell sounds to begin the match, Dan Jones slides to the outside and goes to work on the already floored Phil Leach.]

TAFF: "That was beautiful!"

GAV: "Don’t forget folks, Phil Leach has already gone through a table once tonight, courtesy of Andrew McMartyn and Dan Jones!"

[Dan savagely beats away at Phil, punching him in the head and neck in an attempt to keep him grounded. Dan picks Phil up and goes to bash his head into the crowd barrier, but ‘The Man’ blocks, smashing his opponents skull into the barricade instead! The fans cheer loudly, and Phil Leach sets Dan up for a whip across the ringside area. Dan reverses however, and Phil careers straight into the metal ring post, his right arm wrapping around the steel as he goes! The Gentleman Pimp rolls around on the arena floor in pain, but Dan Jones coolly scrapes him off the ground and rolls him into the ring for more punishment.]

GAV: "What a collision with the ring post there! Phil Leach may just have broken his arm!"

[Back in the ring Dan tortures Phil with some vicious mounted punches, then hoists him up and whips him to a corner. The Lone Wolf charges and nails a big Body Avalanche in the corner, sending Phil stumbling forwards. Dan stalks up behind and jacknifes Phil with a hard and heavy German Suplex. In trouble even in the early goings, Phil crawls away from Dan, but Jones pulls Phil back and to his feet. The Gentleman Pimp is nailed with more hard shots to the face but summons the strength to block a rather slow Backhand attack, foiling Dan’s assault and creating the space to floor the Lone Wolf with a huge "Swede"! Dan staggers back and Phil nails him with a Pimp Clothesline. ‘The Man’ stands over Dan and wiggles his hips provocatively, signalling for his Bump ‘n’ Grind mounted blows, but a disgusted Dan rolls out from underneath Phil and quickly slides to the sanctuary of the outside. Phil Leach follows him, and another ugly brawl breaks out on the outside.]

TAFF: "Yuk! Lucky of Dan to escape that Bump ‘n’ Grind nonsense!!"

[The two hated foes exchange blows on the outside of the ring, but Phil comes off better, whipping Dan into the barricade. As the Lone Wolf staggers up Phil charges, clotheslining Dan Jones over the barricade and into the audience! Dan staggers back up again, but eats a Pimp-Plex over the barrier and back into the ringside area. A massive cheer rings out as Phil Leach grabs another table and sets it up just in front of the announce desk. The Gentleman Pimp yanks Dan Jones to his feet and sets him up for another Pimp-Plex, this time through the wooden table!]

GAV: "This could end right here if Dan is Suplexed through that table!"

[Phil tries to hoist Dan up into the air, but Jones blocks with his foot. Dan counters with a Suplex of his own, but rather than driven through the wood Phil is slammed down hard onto the concrete arena floor! As the Gentleman Pimp slowly rises to his feet, Dan attempts to regain his wits as he leans against the table. Phil charges across the ringside area at Dan but Lone Wolf thinks quickly, and Back Body Drops Phil Leach right over his head! With a sickening crack Phil lands right on top of the table he set up, but it doesn’t break!]

GAV: "There wasn’t enough force in that fantastic Back Body Drop to send Phil through that table!"

[Dan Jones looks unamused that Phil did not crash right through the wood. As ‘The Man’ sprawls in agony atop the piece of furniture Dan clambers up onto the ring apron. He charges along the length of the apron and leaps into the air, looking to land running Elbow Drop right onto the prone Gentleman Pimp. Phil slides off the table at the last moment though, and Dan crashes right through the table! The fans cheer wildly as the Lone Wolf lies among the wreckage, but no bell rings to end the match.]

GAV: "The match didn’t end there, Taff!"

TAFF: "No, Phil would be so lucky! You have to physically PUT your opponent through the table to win the match!"

[Sensing his chance to finish the job, Phil quickly rolls Dan under the ropes and into the ring. As Jones flops limply into a heap inside the squared circle, Phil pushes in the original table he grabbed under the ropes. The Gentleman Pimp stands the furniture up on it’s end in a corner and balances it against the turnbuckles. He picks the barely conscious Dan Jones up and slumps him against the table, as the fans scream wildly in support. Moving to the opposite corner Phil signals for a big charge, pumping his arms to get the crowd behind him. ‘The Man’ charges his defenceless opponent but out of nowhere, Andrew McMartyn appears on the ring apronand pulls Dan Jones out of the way! Still out of it, Dan crumples to the mat, but Phil carries on full steam ahead, and crashes right through the table!]

TAFF: "Woohoo! Andrew McMartyn to the rescue!"

GAV: "Damnit, he’s not even supposed to be out here!!"

[Andrew hops into the ring as the crowd boos madly, and drags Phil from the wreckage of the table. Phil slumps helplessly before his assailant, but Andrew McMartyn drags him up and give him The Final Solution! Suddenly the fans begin to cheer wildly; Seb Beynon is running down to the ring! Seb slides into the ring and sprints after Andrew, who hightails it out of there! McMartyn flees away from the ring and through the crowd, with Seb hot on his heels! The crowd cheers madly as the two superstars disappear off into the throng, but back in the ring neither Dan Jones nor Phil Leach is moving a muscle.]

GAV: "Both these men laid right out here! Who’s going to come to first?!"

[Dan Jones slowly starts to stir, and rolls to the outside. He tosses aside the wreckage of the first table destroyed, and grabs another piece of furniture which he then sets up in front of the commentary position again. As Dan finishes setting the table up, Phil slides to the outside and smashes his face into it! The table collapses to the floor, and Dan is given a huge "Swede" by Phil for good measure. Clutching his head, Dan rolls back into the ring and crouches down on the mat in pain. On the outside, Phil Leach sets the table back up again, and jumps up onto the ring apron. The Gentleman Pimp grabs hold of Dan and much like he attempted to earlier over the crowd barricade, hoists Dan up for a Suplex.]

TAFF: "Oh no! Phil Leach is going to Suplex Dan over the ropes and through that table!"

[Phil raises Dan into the air, but the Lone Wolf slides over the top of his head and floats over, landing harmlessly on his feet beside Phil on the ring apron. Dan lashes out with a right jab but Phil Leach manages to block, delivering a shot of his own to Dan that sends the Lone Wolf stumbling off the ring apron and onto the table alongside! As Dan kneels down on the precarious table attempting to recover from the blow, Phil hops onto the table to join him! Waist-locking his foe, Phil Leach attempts to drag Dan to his feet, but Jones quickly slips around behind him and now traps Phil in a back grapple. SMASH! With a loud shout Dan summons all his strength and German Suplexes Phil OFF the wooden table and over his head, driving the Gentleman Pimp right THROUGH the announce table!]

TAFF: "Holy sh-"

[The sound from Gav Jones and Taff is cut off as Dan Jones smashes his opponent through the announce table with one of the most sadistic German Suplexes ever seen. The Gentleman Pimp lies twitching amidst the carnage, while Dan sprawls exhausted atop the other table. He glares over at the time keepers table but no bell is rung; the announce desk evidently does not count as a table! Infuriated, Dan scoops up the remains of Phil and tosses him into the ring, then pulls him out onto the ring apron and sets him up between his knees- Dan is going to Powerbomb Phil Leach off the ring apron and through the table! NO! At the last moment, Phil Body drops Dan over his head, over the ropes and into the ring again! The fans cheer like crazy as Phil escapes yet again. ‘The Man’ hopes off the ring apron and grabs a fourth table from around ringside, then slides it inside the squared circle. He sets the hardware up in the centre of the ring, then plants Dan with a huge Powerslam. Rolling his opponent onto the central tablePhil raises his arms above his head and signals to the crowd for his Flying Iron Swede! Just then, the microphones rumble back into working order.]

GAV: " … … FLYING IRON SWEDE! FANTASTIC!"

TAFF: "Damn! It was bliss not hearing your voice!"

[Dan Jones is lying on top of the table, unmoving as Phil Leach ascends the top rope. The Gentleman Pimp signals one more time for his big flying attack, but Dan leaps off the table suddenly and dives into the ropes, shaking them around and knocking Phil off balance! With ‘The Man’ hung up on the top rope, Dan climbs up to join him. The two hated foes wrestle for supremacy high in the air, but Dan uses his body to shield his head and face from the inevitable "Swedes" Phil aims at him. The Lone Wolf placates his enemy with a nasty throat thrust, then hooks his arm over his head and sets up for a Superplex!]

GAV: "Dan is going to Superplex Phil off the top rope and through that table in the middle of the ring!"

[NO! Dan Jones doesn’t Superplex Phil through the table in the ring- but the table on the OUTSIDE!!! The fan favourite is driven through the hardware from a ten foot drop, easily smashing the table in half upon impact. Phil goes straight through the wood, and Dan lands a little way away on the hard arena floor. The ring bell sounds and the match is over- Phil ‘The Man’ Leach lies a broken mess on the arena floor!]

TUCK: "The winner of this match … DAN JONES!"

[The fans jeer loudly as "I Stand Alone" begins to play. Dan is helped to his feet by officials who pull him away from the carnage, but he merely shoves them aside and triumphantly stumbles back up the entrance ramp by himself. More staff rush to ringside to check on Phil Leach, who still lies unmoving amongst the utterly decimated table. Over at the remains of the commentary desk, there is a rustle as Taff opens the envelope handed to him earlier.]

GAV: "What does it say? What does it say?"

TAFF: "Ho ho! For Phil Leach’s sake, I hope he doesn’t wake up soon, cos he’s in for some bad news! Gav, I think Phil Leach is going to be done for good!"

GAV: "WHY?!"

TAFF: "Because on Turbulence next week it’s going to be Dan Jones and Phil Leach going one on one … in a BURIED ALIVE MATCH!!!"

GAV: "Good god! Whatever will Phil say when he finds out?!"

[The camera again shows the VIP lounge of Mr McMartyn, but this time the CWF President is sitting quietly on one of the expensive looking leather couches in the room. In front of him, a doctor clad in a lab coat and clutching a clipboard is explaining the results of the DNA test.]

DOC: "Mr McMartyn, our tests showed that there was NO anomaly in the results taken a couple of weeks ago, and we did not obtain replica samples of your DNA. Instead, we found DNA almost identical to that of your son’s."

MCMARTYN: "So you’re saying the reason we’ve got three samples of McMartyn DNA is because someone took two samples from my son?"

DOC: "No sir, the two other samples are similar to almost every way, but not identical. They do suggest a member of your family, but not your son."

[Mr McMartyn shakes his head in an attempt to process this information.]

MCMARTYN: "So what exactly ARE you trying to tell me?"

[The doctor takes a long, dramatic pause.]

DOC: "That Sir, the DNA samples seem to suggest you have another child here in the CWF!"

[A shocked gasp is heard from the watching fans in the arena. In the VIP lounge, Mr McMartyn’s jaw drops.]

MCMARTYN: "A … a … ch-child?"

DOC: "Yes Sir, that’s what the tests seem to suggest…"

MCMARTYN: "Well, who is it?!"

DOC: "I can’t say at this stage Sir, we’ll have to run some matches between your DNA and this other sample just to rule out any margin for error. Then we can make a positive identification on the DNA. We should know by next week."

MCMARTYN: "OK …"

[The doctor excuses himself and exits the room. As Mr McMartyn sits stunned on the couch another door slams open and Andrew McMartyn bursts into the room like a caffeine-fuelled hurricane.]

ANDREW: "Hey pops, did you just see Seb chasing me around like some sort of hunted animal?!"

[Mr McMartyn answers slowly, a vacant expression on his face.]

MCMARTYN: "Uh … yes … I think."

ANDREW: "GREAT! Then you’ll have no problems making that match between me and Seb at CWF Sub Zero 100% O-FFICAL! What d’ya say, dad?"

MCMARTYN: "Ur … OK, then."

ANDREW: "Excellent! Dad, you’re the man! At Sub Zero, I’m gonna beat Seb like he’s the worthless dog he is ‘cos I’m SIMPLY … THE … BEST! WOOOO!"

[Mr McMartyn’s hyperactive offspring stampedes out of the room once more, leaving his father still in a complete daze. The CWF President shakes his head as he slowly speaks to himself.]

MCMARTYN: "Another child like HIM?! Dear God…"

CWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
‘The Huckster’ Bob Jones vs. Clint Hill
Referee: Adrian Davies

GAV: "We’re finally at the main event! The CWF title belt is on the line, tonight!"

TUCK: "Introducing first, weighing 250 lbs., the CWF champion…"

["Real American" hits, sending the fans off into a wild frenzy.]

TUCK: "…THE HUCKSTER BOB JONES!"

[Bob Jones, the wrestling legend, struts out from under the vast McMartyntron. He flexes and poses for the fans, being showered with much cheering and screaming.]

TAFF: "I don’t know how that old fogey keeps clinging onto the belt! He should have lost long ago! The only person more past their sell by date is Grandma!"

GAV: "Well, he’d say he owes it all to his fantastic little ‘Huck-a-maniacs’!"

["The Huckster" wastes no time in climbing up the ring steps and into the ring. He engages in his usual ritual of cupping his ear to the crowd then allows his music to come to an end. He removes the gold strap from his waist and passes it over to the ref.]

TUCK: "His opponent, weighing ___ lbs., the CWF Hardcore champion…"

[The beginning of "___" does not meet quite the same reception as with "The Huckster".]

TUCK: "…CLINT HILL!"

[The Hardcore champion strolls out onto the ramp, grinning confidently to himself.]

TAFF: "This is it! This is where that old fraud finally loses the title belt!"

GAV: "Don’t be so sure! ‘The Huckster’ has shown that he can really pick up the pace when the belt is on the line!"

[Clint Hill slides under the ropes and stands up slowly, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on his foe. He hands the hardcore belt to the ref and wanders over to one of the corners. The referee deposits the belts out of harm’s way, then goes back to the centre of the ring. He calls for the bell.]

GAV: "They’re off!"

[The two men begin trading punches. Clint Hill fires off several ferocious right hands, sending Bob reeling. Hill whips him, then floors his aged opponent with a Monkey Toss.]

TAFF: "If Clint Hill doesn’t hold back he might break the old fool!"

GAV: "Don’t underestimate the power of experience!"

[Bob scrambles right back up, only to be met with a stiff clothesline. Hill drags him to his feet then looks for a Suplex.]

TAFF: "That’s smart! Clint Hill is going straight for the impact moves!"

[However, before Clint can finish the move, "The Huckster" reverses it, and Suplexes Clint Hill to the mat. The two men both get back up together.]

GAV: "Bob is showing Clint Hill that he should be taken seriously!"

[They tie up, but Clint Hill manages to manoeuvre it into a headlock, then, to maintain his advantage, he hits a Bulldog.]

TAFF: "Ooh! I bet ‘The Huckster’ really felt that!"

[Hill pulls Bob up swiftly and hits a Gordbuster. Clint covers:

One.

Tw- No! Strong kickout!]

GAV: "That was too easy for Bob to kick out of!"

TAFF: "Yeah, Clint Hill’s gonna have to work a bit harder than that to win this one!"

[Clint pulls Bob to his feet and whips him, but Bob comes back strong and catches Hill with his guard down. He drives the challenger to the mat with a Spear, then starts mounting punches on his hapless foe.]

TAFF: "My God! What a sudden burst of energy from Bob! If he keeps this up he’ll probably faint before the match is over!"

GAV: "I don’t think that’s very likely! You underestimate him!"

[Bob pulls Hill to his feet and nails a Brainbuster. He drags the stunned man up again and whips him, following up with a Spinebuster. "The Huckster" cups his ear to the fans, causing them to let up a huge pop.]

GAV: "Fantastic! Bob sure is picking up the pace now!"

[He pulls the unresisting Clint Hill to his feet, then whips him, looking for the famous Big Boot.]

GAV: "Bob is looking to finish it already!"

[But it is not to be. Hill gathers his wits just in time and holds onto the ropes, causing Bob’s attack to fall short. Bob looks slightly annoyed as he goes after Hill. Clint, however, is ready for him and nails a low blow. He floors the veteran with a quick Frontface DDT, then goes for another cover:

One.

Two.

No! "The Huckster" literally throws Hill off his chest.]

TAFF: "Oh no! He’s going over the edge!"

GAV: "Here it comes! Smashing! He’s going to ‘Huck Up’!"

[Bob leaps to his feet, quivering all over. Clint Hill looks astonished. Bob menacingly waves one finger at Hill. Clint Hill foolishly tries to attack. He throws a punch. No effect! Another. "The Huckster" takes it on the chin without even wavering. Hill takes a step back, then throws a really hard punch. Blocked! Bob fires back with his own mighty punches! One! Two! Three! Hill is against the ropes!]

TAFF: "What’s that?! Hans Grip is heading to the ring!"

[Indeed, the Swedish God is jogging down the ramp as Taff speaks. Bob is too preoccupied with Hill. He whips Hill across the ring, but before he can nail the Big Boot, Hans Grip leaps into the ring!]

GAV: "I say! Hans Grip is interfering in the match!"

[By this time, Sven has caught up, being unable to run due to his extremely puny nature. Hans comes at Bob, but "The Huckster" is like a runaway train. He blasts Hans back with a strong punch, then hits an awesome Big Boot, sending the vast Swede tumbling out of the ring. Clint Hill has used this distraction to recover slightly. He runs at Bob, hoping to take him by surprise, but "The Huckster" seems to have been riled by the appearance of Grip. He ducks Hill’s attack and floors the man with a clothesline. Bob pulls Clint Hill roughly to his feet and whips him across the ring once more. This time, there is no escape. The Big Boot connects like a sledgehammer. Hill crumples to the canvas. Bob takes one step back, then nails an awesome Legdrop. He plants one large foot on Hill’s chest:

ONE.

TWO.

THREE! The bell rings! "Real American" hits the PA at full volume. "The Huckster" begins his usual victory taunts. Suddenly, Hans Grip is back in the ring! He clouts Bob with the world title belt, sending him crashing to the floor. He drops the belt, then literally hurls Bob through the ropes and clambers out after him.]

GAV: "This is brutal! Hans Grip is assaulting Bob for no reason! What’s he doing to our table, Taff?!"

[With Sven’s assistance, Hans strips the announce table down to pure wood. He pulls the dazed old champion to his feet, then, in a mockery of "The Huckster’s" well known taunts, he flexes his own vast musculature. Finally, at Sven’s urging, Hans gives Bob a swift kick in the gut, then raises him onto his wide, Swedish shoulders, and delivers a devastating Powerbomb through the announce table! There is a mighty CRACK as wood splinters all over the place.]

GAV: "This is savage! Hans Grip just annihilated the world champion!"

TAFF: "He’s sending a clear message to Bob! ‘Hans is the new top dog’!"

[The scene fades with a shot of Hans standing over the unconscious "Huckster" as he lies amongst the wreckage of the table...]