::TUESDAY NIGHT TURBULENCE::
9th July 2002

[Tuesday Night Turbulence opens with a dramatic video package showcasing the events of the past few weeks that have decided the road taken to the CWF Championship. We see Dan Jones’ shock alignment with Vice-President Acid, Andrew McMartyn’s qualifying victory over ‘The Huckster’ Bob Jones and lastly the gruelling battle between Phil Leach and Dan Jones for the second place in the title match on PPV, culminating in the double pin which left the final outcome of the match a draw. As the montage ends, Taff’s question hangs in the balance – “Who’s going on to the Pay-Per-View to wrestle for the CWF Championship?” … Tonight, on Tuesday Night Turbulence, we will find out! ]

[The opening music dies down and the fireworks go off as a raucous crowd greet the beginning of another action packed Tuesday Night Turbulence. At ringside, Captain Mosher and The Greasy Mexican welcome us to the show.]

MOSHER: “Just five days away from the brand new CWF “Whiplash” Pay-Per-View, and the Federation is firing on all cylinders tonight as it presents the last Turbulence before Sunday. And following the confusion and controversy of last Thursday night on Redemption, we’ve been told there WILL be a definitive announcement tonight as just who will be involved in the CWF Championship match this Sunday!”

MEXICAN: “Ci, Capitaino! And don’t let us forget tonight, we have the matches that will decide who is gonna wrestle for the Intercontinental Title at Whiplash. Is it going to be The Blue Flash? Or Hardcore Hammond? Or Hans Grip? Or maybe Kyle Reece? I can’t wait, essa!”

MOSHER: “… And of course, all hell is set to break lose here tonight in the main event, as Vice President Acid has signed a tumultuous WILDCARD Six Man Tag Match featuring Phil Leach, Andrew McMartyn, Dan Jones, ‘The Huckster’, Damian Ali and Clint Hill! Allies pitted against one another … and enemies must fight together for victory! It’s going to be one hell of a ride!”

[“Pushing Me Away” suddenly hits over the PA, causing a loud but mixed reaction to explode from the crowd. ]

MEXICAN: “Yeah! Look who is coming to the ring, essa!”

[As the lights dip down low, Dan Jones makes his way smartly to the ring, Vice-President Acid at his side. Both ignore the fans at ringside and climb onto the apron, stepping through the ropes and into the ring. “Pushing Me Away” dies down as Acid takes a microphone from announcer Ralph Tuck. As the lights go back up it is clear that neither Dan nor Acid is sporting a particularly pleased expression. A frown on her face, the Vice-President begins to speak.]

ACID: “Dan Jones and I are out here tonight to show you all just what happened on Redemption last Thursday. We’re out here tonight to put the record straight as to just WHO should be going to Whiplash this Sunday to wrestle Andrew McMartyn for the CWF Championship. Now, if you would, roll the footage!”

[The “McMartynTron” screen flickers into life. The closing moments of the main event on Redemption are played]

… Dan nails Phil in the gut with a quick kick- Darkness Falls! No! Phil hoists Dan onto his back- Pimp Drop! No! Dan counters the counter and slides off Phil’s back. Dan hooks his arms round Phil and delivers a German Suplex! Dan is still holding onto Phil’s waist and drags him up to his feet. Another German Suplex!

JONES: “What fantastic technique by Dan Jones! Multiple German Suplexes!”

Wham! Dan hits a third German on his opponent. 4! … … 5! … … 6! Dan has just delivered SIX successive German Suplexes! Wait a minute! The last Suplex is being bridged into a pin! Phil’s shoulders are on the mat as Phil James drops down to count- Adrian Davies has slid into the ring as well! 1 … … 2 … … 3!!!!!

[The flashback finishes as the crowd boos loudly. Acid nods her head as she speaks.]

ACID: “Now, I’d say it’s clear to see there that Phil Leach’s shoulders were squarely down for the three count. It was Dan Jones that executed the move on Phil, it was Dan Jones who made the pin. Clearly, Dan Jones PINNED Phil Leach and won that match.”

[The crowd boos Acid for this assumption, but the Vice-President ignores their jeers and motions for senior referee Adrian Davies, who has been sitting at ringside, to step into the ring. Mr Davies climbs through the ropes and walks up to Acid. Dan Jones stands silently in the background, watching alertly.]

ACID: “Now Mr Davies, you are the Senior Referee in the CWF are you not?”

DAVIES: “Yes, Ma’am, I am.”

ACID: “And were you not the official ASSIGNED to referee the CWF Championship qualifying match between Dan Jones and Phil Leach last Thursday night on Redemption?”

DAVIES: “Yes, that is correct.”

ACID: “Good. Now, in your own words, can you tell the people here just what you saw happen in the closing moments of that match Thursday night?”

DAVIES: “Yes, Ma’am. Andrew McMartyn had come down to the ring a little earlier and thrown be out to the arena floor. I came to, and saw Dan Jones executing a number of German Suplexes on Phil Leach. As I saw Dan Jones bridge into a pin with the last Suplex, I dived under the ropes into the ring to count the pinfall. I did not see Phil James on the other side counting. I clearly saw however, that Phil Leach’s shoulders were on the mat for the count of three.”

[Acid nods her head as Mr Davies relates his story.]

ACID: “Yes. And one last question Mr Davies, did you, at any throughout this three count, see Dan Jones’ shoulders on the mat?”

DAVIES: “No Miss, from my vantage point I did not see Dan Jones’ shoulders on the mat.”

[Acid smiles broadly, and looks back towards Dan knowingly.]

ACID: “Mr Davies, thank you.”

[The senior CWF official exits the ring as a satisfied Acid hands over the microphone to Dan. The CWF superstar gets a largely negative reaction as he steps forward and grips the microphone.]

DAN: “I’d say that video evidence is pretty conclusive. I pinned Phil Leach fairly and squarely in the middle of the ring for the right to wrestle for the CWF Championship at Whiplash. Thanks to Acid’s Vice-Presidential powers, I will now be going to CWF Whiplash in five days time. I’ll be going there with one purpose in mind, and that is to defeat Andrew, step out from his accursed shadow and claim what is rightfully mine- the CWF World Championship!”

[The crowd boos Dan loudly whilst Acid applauds him. Dan adjusts his pony-tail slightly and sniffs.]

DAN: “I will be your next CWF Champion, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it!”

[Suddenly, “No Chance” hits in the arena, causing Dan and Acid to spin round in surprise. An even bigger boo than Acid and Dan received greets Clive and Andrew McMartyn as they make their way down to the ring.]

MOSHER: “This getting interesting…”

MEXICAN: “Don’t worry, Capitaino my friend. Mr McMartyn will sort this mess out!”

[The CWF President swaggers confidently up the steel ring steps, glaring at Acid as he goes. McMartyn steps through the ring ropes as his son slithers into the ring behind him. Mr Tuck hands over another mike from ringside as “No Chance” dies down. Andrew looks daggers over at Dan from behind Mr McMartyn, who swaggers over to Acid and towers over her as he speaks.]

MCMARTYN: “It frankly astounds me, Acid, how you can get bigger and bigger for your boots every single week. Oh yes, you may be the Vice-President of this company, you may have a little clout up there in the boardroom, but don’t forget who is THE BOSS around here! I started this company, I made this company what it is today, not you! And so I hardly think YOU have the power to run around making CWF Championship matches now, do you? I would say that you and Dan Jones over there are taking a highly bias approach to the closing moments of that match on Thursday night. You see, I’ve got a little video footage of my own for us all to watch… let’s take a look shall we?”

[The “McMartynTron” starts up again, once more showing the closing moments of the Phil Leach/Dan Jones match. This time, however, a different camera angle is shown, and we now clearly see Dan Jones’ shoulders down as referee Phil James counts the 1 … 2 … 3. Acid and Dan watch this sourly, while the McMartyns exchange a knowing look. ]

MCMARTYN: “So Acid, it would seem that yes, Phil Leach’s shoulders were down on the mat 1 … 2 … 3 . No-one is denying that. But it also seems that Dan Jones’ shoulders were on the mat. I guess that makes the referees’ call on Thursday night accurate and unchangeable- that match WAS a draw. It seems that only an “executive decision” by the ownership of the CWF can remedy the problem we have now… and I think that as Dan Jones’ shoulders were on the mat Thursday night you have NO right to claim him a place in the main event at “Whiplash”.”

[Mr McMartyn takes a long dramatic pause, allowing for a smug smile from his son, and angry glares from both Acid and Dan Jones.]

MCMARTYN: “ … HOWEVER … as CWF President and Owner of this company I concur with you Acid. In my opinion Daniel Jones should wrestle my son Andrew for the CWF Championship at the Pay-Per-View!”

[A huge boo goes up in the arena as Acid’s sour expression cracks into a big smile. Behind her, Dan nods in agreement with this decision.]

MOSHER: “What!? That’s not fair! That match Thursday night was a draw!”

MEXICAN: “Oh, be quiet essa! The bosses- they have spoken!”

[Mr McMartyn outstretches a hand to Acid. The CWF Vice-President looks at her business partner suspiciously, but extends her hand too! Just as it seems the two owners of the company are to formalise their unholy alliance, “It’s My Life” begins to play. A huge cheer greets none other than Phil ‘The Man’ Leach, who angrily struts out onto the entrance ramp microphone in hand. Bon Jovi dies down as Phil Leach begins making his way down the ramp.]

PHIL: “Hold on just a minute you scheming sods! Are you telling me the word around the campfire is that The Gentleman Pimp is getting shafted out of a title shot this Sunday ‘cos the crooked owners of this company have finally agreed on one thing –that neither of their little bitches can withstand the might of The Rage should I choose to release it at Whiplash? You know something? That blows! Just because a hairy, ugly little bugger with no social skills and a nasty, two faced git with no balls are too scared to step in the ring with me, I don’t get a shot? You saw the video, kids, Dan’s shoulders were just as much on that mat as mine! Now are you going to rethink that decision, Mr McMartyn, or is ‘The Man’ gonna have come down there and plant the Swede on all your asses until you do?”

[The crowd wildly cheers as Phil Leach advances on the ring. A fuming Andrew McMartyn grabs the microphone from his father.]

ANDREW: “You stop right there you dancing fool! How dare you threaten me and my family? You know why you haven’t got a title shot at CWF Whiplash? Because you’re not GOOD ENOUGH, that’s why! You nothing more than a wise-cracking, prancing court jester, Phil, and there’s no way IN HELL you belong in the main event wrestling for the CWF Title. Now the OWNERS of this company have made a decision, and since you’re just a WRESTLER, and NOT an owner, I suggest you take … a … hike!”

[Phil lifts his mike to reply to Andrew’s ranting, but just then the Tuesday Night Turbulence theme hits and Mrs McMartyn appears out on stage! The fourth owner of the CWF receives a warm response as she fixes the party in the ring with a serious stare. Acid, Dan, Andrew and Clive all look furious to see her, but Phil turns and watches silently as to what the owner may say. As the music dies down Jud McMartyn lifts her microphone to her lips.]

JUD: “You’re entirely correct, Andrew; Phil isn’t an owner, and he can’t make decisions for the company. But guess what? I AM an owner, and I CAN make executive decisions, and well, I’m going to make one now. Due to the controversial nature of the result between Dan Jones and Phil Leach last Thursday night, and the lack of time in which a rematch can be granted, tonight I am making a NEW match. At CWF Whiplash, the CWF World Championship will be on the line in a TRIPLE THREAT match between Dan Jones …… Andrew McMartyn … … AND Phil Leach!”

[The crowd explodes at this announcement. Phil Leach punches the air in triumph. Dan’s upper lip curls in anger whilst Andrew bounces up and down in fury. Purple with rage, Mr McMartyn grabs the microphone back from his son.]

MCMARTYN: “Triple Threat Match at Whiplash? Jud, you GOT IT! But you know what, seeing as I’m backing OUR son … and she’s backing Dan Jones over there … it looks like everyone’s got their reputations on the line … everyone except you! So tell me, if you’ve go the guts, why don’t you throw your lot behind your golden boy down there, and we’ll see just WHO the most dominant owner is around here!”

[Mrs McMartyn ponders this challenge, then lifts up her microphone.]

JUD: “Clive, if that’s what you want, and if Phil wants me there, I’ll happily be in his corner this Sunday to watch him prove you wrong!”

[Now Phil chimes in, delivering a parting message to the McMartyns, Dan and Acid.]

PHIL: “Oh yeah! ‘The Man’ is in the main event at Whiplash, kids, and you know what? He’s gonna do every single one of you LIKE … A … KIPPER! ROCK ON!”

[“It’s My Life” explodes into verse as the crowd cheers Phil and Mrs McMartyn. The Gentleman Pimp grooves back up to the top of the ramp and thanks the owner warmly for her timely intervention before both exit into the back. In the ring, Mr McMartyn glares angrily at Acid before ushering his son out of the ring and climbing through the ropes himself. Acid and Dan Jones watch them leave up the entrance ramp, angry expressions on both their faces.]

MOSHER: “Andrew McMartyn – Phil Leach – Dan Jones … going at it for the CWF Championship on Pay-Per-View- it’s going to be great!”

[The “McMartynTron” screen suddenly begins to flash strangely. A huge glass smashing noise accompanies numerous motifs of stylised skulls flashing up on the giant screen. The lights in the arena go haywire, flashing a strange white and red pattern. Up on the “McMartynTron” a cryptic message flashes.]

Soon … … HE … will … return … …

[The strange glass smashing noise is heard again and suddenly the smooth sound of “Shaft” is piped into the arena. The music and message quickly fade away, leaving the fans in the arena wondering just exactly is going on…]

CWF INTERCONTINENTAL SEMI-FINAL
The Blue Flash vs Kyle Reece
Referee: Phil James

TUCK: "This is a second round match in the CWF Intercontinental title tournament. Introducing first, KYYYLE REEEECE!"

["Fuel" starts up, being met with a sound pop from the fans. Kyle makes him usual entrance, decked out in his old, grey raincoat. Upon reaching the ring, he removes it, then casts it aside.]

TUCK: "And his opponent..."

["Flash" begins to play. The crowd leap to their feet. The Blue Flash appears beneath the McMartyntron, Spark Girl a few steps behind him. They strike a joint pose, meeting a massive pop. They jog down to the ring, Blue Flash sliding under the ropes. He strikes another pose, getting yet another pop.]

TUCK: "...THE BLUE FLASH!"

MOSHER: "Two great superstars, here. I can't say who will go on to get the IC title!"

MEXICAN: "Who cares who wins?! Neither one of them is gonna beat Hans Grip! He is definitely gonna win that belt, gringo."

[Flash removes his cape and prepares for the match. Phil James motions both men to the centre of the ring, exchanging a few nods with each, then calls for the bell. The two men lock up. Reece attempts to overpower Flash, but the "superhero" slips through his fingers, trapping Reece in a Hammerlock.]

MOSHER: "Nice wrestling skill by Blue Flash, though the power advantage must go the Kyle Reece in this match."

[At this point, Kyle uses his strength to reverse the Hammerlock, then applies a Side Headlock to Flash.]

MEXICAN: "Haha! That phoney hero is getting just what he deserves!"

[Flash manages to push Kyle into the ropes, attempting to Shoulder Block him on the return. Flash is the one floored, however. Kyle bounces off another rope and nails an Elbow Drop. He tries a cover:

[One.]

Kickout!]

MOSHER: "That wasn't even a close call!"

[Kyle pulls Flash to his feet. He tries to perform a Piledriver, but Flash turns it around into a Hurracanrana. Flash immediately locks on a Reverse Chinlock.]

MOSHER: "Blue Flash attempting to wear down Kyle Reece."

MEXICAN: "He's too weak to go toe-to-toe with anyone!"

[Slowly, Reece forces himself to his feet. He hits Flash with an elbow to the stomach. Another. A third! He shoves Flash off, then hits a Clothesline. He pulls Flash to his feet and looks for a Suplex. Flash reverses, landing behind Kyle Reece. Blue Flash attempts to hit a Backdrop, but Kyle blocks it. He pulls Flash over his shoulder with a Snapmare.]

MOSHER: "This is a very even match! I can't say who's going to win!"

[Reece plants Flash with a Sidewalk Slam, then covers again:

One.

Two.

Thr- No!]

MEXICAN: "That was a close call, senor!"

[Reece whips Flash to the corner, then runs in after him. Flash throws his feet into Kyle's face, causing him to stagger. Flash then hits a Facecrusher.]

MOSHER: "Flash is gaining control, now."

[Flash bounces up to the nearest ringpost, then dives off, hitting a Guillotine Legdrop.]

MOSHER: "Wow! High risk move from Flash!"

[The eccentric wrestler covers Reece:

One.

Two.

Kickout!]

MOSHER: "Amazing! I never thought Reece would kick out of that!"

[Flash, a little sluggish now, pulls the dazed Reece to his feet. He tries a whip, but it gets reversed. Flash runs back to Kyle Reece, meeting up with a Gorilla Press Slam. Reece elbow drops Flash, then covers:

One.

Two.

Kickout!]

MOSHER: "I don't know how Flash keeps kicking out!"

MEXICAN: "That gringo is harder to keep down than a bad fajita!"

[Reece drags Flash to his feet, yet again, and whips him to the corner. Reece goes after him, hoisting the Flash up onto the ringpost. He clambers up as well, lifts Flash onto his shoulders, then hits a giant Samoan Drop.]

MOSHER: "Whoa! It looks like they both took a huge impact from that move!"

[Both men lie still on the canvas. Referee James starts a count, but only gets to three before the crowd start booing. Deftonial is seen running to the ring. He leaps to the apron, trying to enter the ring. Spark Girl tries to keep him from interfering, but she is shoved aside.]

MEXICAN: "Hey, now he's a real superstar, senor!"

MOSHER: "No doubt he's here to make life hard for Blue Flash!"

[As Phil James intercepts Deftonial, forcing him to stay out of the ring, Kid Punk comes out of the crowd and slides into the ring. He pulls the recumbent Flash to his feet, then hits a blistering "Punk Kick". Flash is out cold. Deftonial is still keeping the referee distracted, while Kyle Reece has yet to gather the energy to move. Kid Punk is not done yet. He decides to finish Flash off once and for all.]

MOSHER: "This is brutal! Flash can't defend himself!"

[Kid Punk performs a "Stage Dive", sapping the last of The Blue Flash's strength. He rolls out of the ring, Deftonial drops from the apron. The two of them jump back into the crowd, disappearing from view.]

MOSHER: "What a savage attack on Blue Flash!"

MEXICAN: "A REAL superhero wouldn't have stood for that, senor! He's a fake! I've said so all along!"

[Phil James turns his attention to the ring, just as Kyle Reece comes to. He clambers to his feet, staggers over to the Flash, and falls tiredly into a cover:

One.

Two.

Three!]

MEXICAN: "He did it, hombre! Kyle Reece beat Flash!"

MOSHER: "But he didn't do it alone! I don't think Kyle Reece is aware of the actions of Kid Punk and Deftonial!"

[This appears to be an accurate interpretation, as "Fuel" starts playing, and Reece stumbles out of the ring, grabbing his coat, then heads up the ramp. Spark Girl gets into the ring, checking on Flash. She helps him to his feet, which gains a pop from the crowd, and attempts to lead him out of the ring. Before they make it, however, Deftonial and Kid Punk reappear. They charge back in and assault Flash, beating him down to the floor. Spark Girl is knocked over the ropes, unable to assist her partner. As Punk and Deftonial are stomping away on Flash, the crowd leaps, once more, to its feet.]

MOSHER: "What's this?! Kyle Reece is heading back to the ring!"

[Kyle Reece comes tearing down the ramp and slides under the ropes. He runs over to Punk and Deftonial, causing them to scatter. They stroll up the ramp, looking back at the ring, laughing. Reece dares them to come back, taking up a fighting stance. The two men, having made their point already, just leave rather than get themselves into trouble. Metallica starts up again, as the fans give him a warm ovation.]

MOSHER: "What a turn up! Kyle Reece making the save for The Blue Flash, chasing away Kid Punk and Deftonial!"

MEXICAN: "I don't think he knows the trouble he could be getting himself into!"

MOSHER: "You may be right..."

(The “McMartynTron” comes on, the picture shows Clint Hill sitting in the locker room seemingly preparing himself for tonight’s big match. Clint is sitting on a bench with a towel over his bent down head murmuring to himself quietly.) (Emma bursts in looking for an interview before the big match)

EMMA: There you are, so are you ready to compete in tonight’s big 3vs3 match-up? I think it’ll be a great match, although both teams…(she cuts off mid-tirade when she sees Clint’s icy stare)

CLINT: For the love of GOD, did I not make myself clear enough about how I felt about this match-up last time? Can I not prepare myself to beat THE CRAP out of the freakin’ leach who dared throw ME, yea ME aside in his conversation like I was some NON-ENTITY! Lemme tell you this CLINT HILL JOBS FOR NO MAN. If I get in the ring during this match with the leach, I WILL BEAT HIS FREAKIN’ ‘RAGE’ SO FAR OUT OF HIM HE WON’T KNOW WHETHER TO RUN OR CURL UP AND DIE, that applies to all his sidekicks too.

EMMA: You, You wouldn’t hurt my Phil would you?

CLINT: The hell I won’t I’ll hurt whoever gets in my way. Didn’t you see me in the hardcore battle royal, tell me who was the best damn wrestler in the ring that night?

EMMA: Um well Damien Ali wo….

CLINT: Did I ask you who won? He may have won, but I beat him in the match, I was unlucky. I was a bit rusty from not having wrestled competitively for a while but now am cookin’ and ready to BREAK BONES I don’t care whose, JUST BONES.

EMMA: I’m sure you won’t hurt my Phil

CLINT: SCREW THIS, I’M OUTTA HERE (Clint headbutts the steel fire exit leaving quite a large dent and stalks out)

RAZOR VS JUICE
Referee: Sid Jefferies

TUCK: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Miami, Florida, he weighs in at 270lbs....RAZOR!!!

MOSHER: Razor looks all set to take on Juice. These two have met in the ring before, haven't they?

MEXICAN: Si amigo! Razor and his pals got their asses whipped by Juice and company the other night. I think Razor wants a little payback!

MOSHER: Of course we haven't heard much at all in the past week from Razor's band of conspirators, led by the notorious Stephanie.

MEXICAN: Don't pick on Stephanie! She's a visionary!

MOSHER: She was eating crow last time I checked! Ever since CWF VP Acid decimated her in the ring in that Pink Slip match last week on Turbulence. Razor is still lucky to have a job!

MEXICAN: They'll be back! I guarantee it, amigo! Stephanie isn't finished with Acid yet!

["Nutritiously Delicious" hits the PA System as Juice comes out to the top of the entrance way with a mic in his right hand and a big smile on his face, as the crowd cheers for him. Juice then flexes his biceps for the crowd to get them more riled up. Juice then starts walking down to the ring. On the way down the ramp, Juice flexes to the camera and starts saying to the camera with a big smile, "Juice is Nutritious and Delicious". Juice then pushes the camera out of the way and slides underneath the ropes to get inside the ring. When Juice gets inside the ring he points to each section of the crowd and then flexes his biceps and shows off his six-pack.]

TUCK: Making his way to the ring from Moreshouse, MO, he weighs in at 286lbs....JUICE!!!

[Juice walks across to Razor and they stand face-to-face - staring into one another's eyes.]

MOSHER: Look at the determined look on the faces of Juice and Razor. They both look really psyched!

[DING! DING! DING!]

[Razor and Juice circle each other like vultures before entering the tie up. Juice, the heavier of the two, uses his weight to his advantage and hip tosses Razor to the canvas. As Razor gets up, Juice DDT's him back onto the canvas. Razor is seeing stars as Juice drags him up and whips him onto the ropes, clotheslining him as he comes back across the ring.]

MOSHER: Juice is really dominating in this match! He's not just a pretty face!

MEXICAN: It's still early, Mosh! Don't count Razor out yet! I bet he's got some sort of plan up his sleeve.

MOSHER: Well, Juice seems to have him right where he wants him- on the canvas. If he can keep him there, this match is his.

[No sooner than Mosher has spoken, Juice has hooked the leg and is going for the pin...]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[..Razor kicks out just before the three count!]

MEXICAN: That was close!

[Juice is shocked, but not discouraged. He pulls Razor up, punching him a couple of times in the mid section before attempting to irish whip him. Razor reverses the whip, sending Juice bouncing against the ropes. Razor goes to deliver a spinning heel kick to Juice, but Juice ducks, bounces off the other side of the ring and spears Razor, mounting punches once on the canvas! Referee Sid Jefferies pulls Juice off Razor, reprimanding him. Razor is slightly dazed, but as Juice is arguing with the referee, he uses this reprieve as a chance to capitalise. Whilst Juice's back is turned, Razor gets up, grabs Juice from behind, setting him up for a pumphandle slam. The crowd booes Razor as Juice hits the canvas. Razor then goes for the pin...]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[...Juice gets the shoulder up, and as quick as lightning rolls Razor up into a pin!]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[..3!!]

TUCK: Here is your winner... JUICE!!!

MEXICAN: Hey! No fair, essa! Juice stole that one!

MOSHER: He did indeed, Mexican. I never expected the match to be over so quickly.

['Nutriously Delicious' plays as Juice rolls out of the ring as an irate Razor sits up and yells at the referee in indignation. Sid Jefferies tries to calm him down, but Razor pushes the referee over, dives out of the ring and chases Juice up the ramp.]

MEXICAN: Either way, it looks like Juice is gonna get his ass handed to him!

MOSHER: Shouldn't we get security back there? This could turn nasty!

[The CWF cameras take us backstage where Razor has followed Juice, pushing equipment out of the way. Juice runs down the corridor towards the locker rooms, trying to escape but Razor is adamant. Juice tries to lose Razor in the showers, but Razor follows him in and begins beating the other superstar to a pulp.]

MOSHER: [voice over] Somebody stop this!

[Juice's nose is bleeding, as Razor continues his vicious assault. Suddenly the door to the showers opens and CWF VP Acid walks in, followed by Julia Parker and CWF head of security Neil Hunt. Neil pulls the two men apart and Acid speaks...]

ACID: You ok, Juice?

[Juice nods, even though his nose is busted open.]

ACID: Julia, take him to the EMT's.

JULIA: OK.

[Julia helps Juice up and leads him out of the shower room. Neil remains with Acid. She startes at Razor, who is leaning on his hands whilst sitting on the damp floor.]

ACID: Honestly, Razor! Can't you and your little friends go for five minutes without causing me some trouble? I've got enough problems without having to worry about X-Force!

RAZOR: The guy had it coming!

ACID: Come off it, Razor! Juice won that match fair and square!

[Razor shrugs and gets to his feet. Acid sighs and shakes head.]

ACID: I'm afraid that it's come to this, Razor. I honestly had hoped that we could resolve this little matter, but... I'm afraid that I'm going to hafta give you a match at Whiplash...

[A smile starts to spread over Razor's face.]

MOSHER: [voice over] A match at Whiplash?! What kind of reprimand is that?!

MEXICAN:[voice over] Pretty damn good one I'd say, essa!

ACID: You will compete against your buddies Mr Extreme and the Warlock in a a match that I'd like to call... A PINK SLIP ON A POLE MATCH!

[The crowd in the arena go wild. Razor's face drops.]

MOSHER: [voice over] A pink slip on a pole match?

MEXICAN: [voice over] What is with that chica and pink slips?

RAZOR: What about Stephanie? You forgot about her.

ACID: Oh, I haven't forgotten about her. I have a little surprise for her on Thursday night, but you'd rather know what your match involves, wouldn't you? Well, put very simply, whoever wins the match gets to keep their job. The other two, however, don't. Get the picture?

RAZOR: What the hell... you can't do that?!

ACID: Well, I just did! You'd better start training for that match, Razor. You're fighting for you job!

[Acid and Neil begin to walk away, but just before Acid disappears out of the showers, she stops...]

ACID: Oh, by the way... GET BENT!!!

[Acid leaves the shower room and an extremely irate Razor behind. Razor screams angrilly and punches the wall, leaving a dent in one of the tiles.]

[Back in the arena...]

MOSHER: Boy, I wouldn't like to be Acid when Stephanie and the other members of X-Force find out about this!

MEXICAN: Oh no! Could it be over for X-Force before it has even begun! Aye Carumba!

[Backstage in the locker room area we find a third of the Turbulence main event deep in hushed conversation. Damien Ali and Dan Jones are huddled close together strategizing over there match whilst Felicia leans against a nearby locker, watching. A murmuring boo echoes from the watching arena at the sight of the duo, but there is a sudden explosion of cheers as Phil ‘The Man’ Leach boogies into the locker room! Dan Jones turns and gives his foe an animalistic snarl.]

PHIL: “Hey kids, I see we’re having a little mother’s meeting here, about the match tonight I presume?”

DAN: “Why Phil, we’re just trying to formulate a fool-proof plan … i.e. one that YOU can’t mess up for us tonight!”

PHIL: “Ha! Fool-proof? Your hairdresser certainly isn’t Dan. Nice styling, pity Cher got there first!”

[Damien stands up angrily.]

DAMIEN: “I’d watch what you’re saying if I were you … Dan Jones has got more hope of winning this match that some prancing idiot pimp!”

[Phil Leach looks around with a mystified look on his face, as if he just heard a strange noise.]

PHIL “Sorry … did someone just speak? Oh, it’s you little boy! Let me tell you this, I was planting “Swedes” and kicking asses here in the CWF before you had any hair on your balls! When you’ve cemented yourself in CWF history as one of the all-time greats THEN you can pass judgement on me, boyo!”

DAMIEN: “I think you’re forgetting that you’re talking to the Hardcore Champion here, pal!”

PHIL: “Hardcore Champion? Pah! Ask any woman you know, The Gentleman Pimp knows all about getting Hardcore! What’s your name by the way, punk? Oh doesn’t matter – mind if I call you Sheila?”

DAMIEN: “Grr … C’mon Felicia!”

[Damien Ali picks up his Hardcore Belt and storms out of the locker room, Felicia in tow. Phil Leach and Dan Jones turn to stare at one another.]

DAN: “I mean it Phil … you better not lose us this match tonight …”

PHIL: “Dan, if there’s one thing we’ve both learnt from twatting each other all these years, it’s that you can trust Phil ‘The Man’ Leach to get the job done!”

[Dan fixes Phil with an icy stare. The CWF’s “Lone Wolf” allows himself a sinister smile.]

DAN: “Oh yes, Phil, I know that I can trust you in that ring tonight. But the question is, can YOU trust ME?”

[Dan Jones walks off snickering, leaving an thoughtful Phil to consider his words…]

CWF INTERCONTINENTAL SEMI-FINAL
Hans Grip vs Hardcore Hammond
Referee:Sid Jefferies

TUCK: "This is a second round match in the CWF Intercontinental tournament. Introducing first..."

["One of a Kind" begins. Hardcore Hammond appears at the top of the ramp. He gains a moderate pop.]

TUCK: "...HARDCORE HAMMOND!"

[Hammond strolls down to the ring, smiling at the reception from the fans. He ducks between the ropes and taunts for his fans. The music ends.]

TUCK: "His opponent..."

{"Super Trooper" begins. Despite the soothing melody, Hans' entrance is met with some intense heat from the crowd. The odd foreigners stroll down the ramp calmly, although, Sven is rarely in any other mood at all.]

TUCK: "...HANS GRIP!"

[Hans climbs into the ring, leaving Sven standing beside his corner, watching intently.]

MOSHER: "Well, the power advantage has to go to Hans, here..."

MEXICAN: "Of course, hombre! He's the man for IC champ!"

MOSHER: "Don't count out Hardcore Hammond! His has a real fighting spirit!"

[Sid Jefferies runs through some rules, then calls for the bell. The two big men lock up. Hans manages to overpower Hammond and sends him staggering with an Elbow to the head. The chunky Swede hits a Scoop Slam, then Elbow Drops Hammond.]

MEXICAN: "Look at him go! Grip is really taking Hammond to school! I really wish senor Sven would teach ME to wrestle like that!"

[Hans tries to whip Hammond, but, somehow, finds it reversed. Hans bounces from the ropes and falls from a Clothesline by Hardcore.]

MOSHER: "Hardcore Hammond battling back, valiantly."

[Sven blinks a few times, as Hammond battles back against Grip, then raises his hand to clear his throat. There is no apparent concern on his face. Meanwhile, Hammond hits Grip with a Neckbreaker, then covers:

One.

Tw- Kickout!]

MOSHER: "An early cover by Hammond."

[As this goes on, Sven is busy checking his watch. He taps it, then holds it to his ear.] MEXICAN: "Look how calm senor Sven is, gringo! He knows Hans will win!"

[Hammond, bravely, tries to Suplex Grip. Unsurprisingly, Hans overpowers him, sending Hardcore to the mat. Hans pulls Hammond back to his feet, then plants him with a Pulling Pildriver. Hans covers:

One.

Two.

Kickout!]

MOSHER: "Seems to be a pretty close match so far."

MEXICAN: "No way, hombre! Hans is waiting for the right moment to end it!"

[Hans pulls Hammond to his feet, but Hardcore strikes the big man in the ribs, then hits a DDT. Trying to keep his momentum, Hammond hits Grip with a Headlock Takedown, then applies a Sleeper Hold.]

MOSHER: "Hammond has just reclaimed control of this match!"

[Hans battles to his feet, breaking the move with some hard elbows in the gut. He shoves Hardcore to the ropes, going for a Clothesline. Hammond ducks, then drills Grip with a big Spear. Another cover from Hardcore:

One.

Two.

Kickout!]

MOSHER: "Hans Grip seems to be struggling! Hammond might yet win this!"

[Hammond pulls Grip once more to his feet, then performs an awesome Shortarm Clothesline. He pulls Hans up and hits the same move again. Finally he puts Hans Grip down with a big Powerslam.]

MOSHER: "Wow! Hammond has really taken control here!"

[Hammond pulls the sluggish Grip to his feet once more, then attempts a whip. Hans bounces off the ropes, but ducks Hammond's Clothesline. Hans charges back from the opposite ropes, right into Hammond's "Chokeslam". Hans hits the canvas like a falling building.]

MEXICAN: "No! It can't end like this!"

[Hammond, seeming rather drained himself, drops over Hans and covers him. However, there is no count. Sven is standing in the corner, calling for the referee's attention as if the manager were calling for a waiter in a restaurant. Hammond bangs on the canvas, trying to be noticed. Suddenly, from the top of the ramp, a figure, clad all in black and with his face hidden by a hood, runs to the ring. The mystery man gets into the ring just as Hammond is about to go give Sid Jeffries a piece of his mind, and clouts Hammond with a steel chair.]

MOSHER: "What is this?! What's going on?! Who is that?!"

[The unknown hitman escapes the ring, disappearing into the crowd, and Sven climbs off the apron. Hans, groggily, finds his feet and, seeing Hammond unable to defend himself, decides to finish it. The big wrestler pull his smaller foe up and pulls off his fabled "Teuton Crusher":

One.

Two.

Three!]

MEXICAN: "YES! HANS IS GOING ON TO WIN THE IC TITLE!"

TUCK: "Your winner, ...HANS GRIP!"

["Super Trooper" starts up and Hans rolls from the ring to join Sven. The two of them meander back up the ramp to the gentle tones of Hans' music.]

[Backstage, in Acid's V.I.P. locker room, Dan Jones is livid. He's pacing the room whilst the CWF VP lies curled up on the couch. Julia is sitting on the floor next to her, painting her own nails and listening to the ensueing arguement...]

DAN: "I can't believe you did that! First, you put me in a tag match with Phil Leach as a partner, then you agree to Jud McMartyn's plans for a triple threat match at Whiplash! Are you stoned or something?"

ACID: "Dan, relax! I know what I'm doing. And stop pacing! You'll wear a hole in the carpet in a minute!"

[Dan does as she says and stops pacing, standing looking over the VP with an expression radiating anger. Acid looks up at him, not unnerved. She sits up, puts her feet on the floor and gestures that Dan comes and sit beside her. Dan does.]

ACID: "Are we calm yet?"

[Dan remains stoic.]

ACID: "Look Dan, it's for your own good. At least you've got a title shot. Does it matter what kind of match it is? And this tag match- we've discussed this already! And anyway, it counts for nothing. Think of it as training."

DAN: "Training? What for? Me and Phil becoming the bestest of buds? No thanks!"

[Acid leans closer to Dan.]

ACID: "Ever heard the expression- 'keep your friends closer, and your enemies closer'?"

[Dan smiles.]

DAN: "I see your point. Working with him can give me a little taster of how he thinks in the ring, so I can be more prepated for the triple threat match at the PPV."

ACID: "Exactly! See? I told you I know what I'm doing! The lady is wise... the lady has a plan!"

DAN: "Excellent!"

[Dan pats Acid on the knee. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. All eyes are on the door.]

ACID: "Come in!"

[The doors opens and Kyle Reece enters the room.]

REECE: "Err... sorry to disturb you but I was just..."

[Reece looks down to see that Dan's hand is still on Acid's knee. Dan realises and quickly removes it. Acid quickly glances at Dan, then her eyes turn back to Reece.]

ACID: "What is it, Reece?"

REECE: "Have I come at a bad time?"

ACID: "We were just discussing how Dan could use his match later tonight to his advantage. Why do you ask if it's a bad time?"

REECE: "Well, you guys seem to be getting a little cosy, that's all."

[Dan stands up and gets in Reece's face.]

DAN: "What's the deal with you, Reece? Do you have some sort of problem?"

[Reece stares Dan straight in the eyes.]

REECE: "The only problem I have is with you, Jones!"

[Dan grabs Reece by the collar. Acid gets up and seperates the two men. Dan is irate. Reece isn't too happy either.]

ACID: "You two, cool it with the testosterone! Dan, go and get me a bottle of water!"

DAN: "Acid, I really think I should..."

ACID: "Please?!"

[Dan leaves reluctantly.]

ACID: "And as for you, Reece... I don't know who the HELL you think you are by coming barging in here and coaxing my fighter into a confrontation. Apparantly you have some issues to address. Let's see how well you address them on Thursday night when you take on Nightmare in a hardcore match!"

[Reece is taken aback, shocked by Acid's announcement.]

ACID: "Now, be a good little soldier boy and run along."

[Reece stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Acid covers her ears as it slams. She slumps down on the couch in a heap. Julia sits beside her.]

ACID: "Argh!!! MEN!!!

Backstage, ‘The Huckster’ Bob Jones is taping up his wrists when Clint Hill walks into the locker room. The two men eye one another mistrustfully, ‘The Huckster’ stopping what he is doing to keep his sight on Hill.

CLINT: “ … Hey.”

HUCKSTER: “… Hey.”

CLINT: “Listen, we’re not friends, we’re not allies. I knew you from before in the CWF, and frankly, I didn’t like you much then either. But if I stick to my business, and you stick to your business, we’re gonna come out of this match just fine, get me?”

[The Huckster nods wisely.]

HUCKSTER: “I hear you, brother. Put number one first, dude, that’s all there is to say.”

CLINT: “And this little thing you have with McMartyn’s kid? I know he beat you last week, and I know he beat you to get that title shot at Whiplash. Must have stung you … an old timer like you can’t be getting many more chances like that. Well let me make myself clear, ‘Huckster’. If you and him cost me this match, you’re both gonna pay … you’re both gonna pay .”

[The partners stare at each other with an intense look on both their faces. This uncomfortable staredown is interrupted by a mocking voice floating into the room. Andrew McMartyn appears on camera.]

ANDREW: “Well looky here… if it isn’t my good ol’ tag partners tonight. Hard at preparing I see, standing around sniping at each other like children. Trust me to be lumbered with partners such as yourselves!”

[‘The Huckster’ shoots a venomous look at the young upstart.]

HUCKSTER: “Hey brother, you’re weren’t exactly my first choice for a tag partner…”

[McMartyn sniffs haughtily.]

ANDREW: “Of course I am! Hell, if I could tag with me, I would! Now listen, both of you! Not only do I have to wrestle Dan and Phil tonight, I have to face both of them at Whiplash this Sunday. I don’t want a near-immobile fossil and some big lug costing me my dignity in front of them, got it? You idiots might not have anything to lose by going out there and getting your asses’ kicked- but I do! Just don’t mess up … do I make myself clear?”

[McMartyn Jr promptly turns and marches out of the locker room. An unimpressed Clint Hill watches him go then addresses ‘The Huckster’.

CLINT: “What a jackass!”

HUCKSTER: “Man, I hear ya brother…”

[In the most lavish office in the building, Mr McMartyn is sat at a large oak desk shuffling papers. Suddenly, the door to his office swings open as if pushed by some invisible force. Into the room sweeps The Blue Flash!]

FLASH: “Greetings, established and distinguished member of the CWF community!”

[The CWF President looks on in astonishment at the mad-man that has just invaded his office space. Mr McMartyn, never having come face to face with the CWF’s resident super hero, doesn’t know quite what to make of this.]

MCMARTYN: “…”

FLASH: “The Blue Flash has a devilish dilemma … the fell super-villain known as “Kid Punk” and his evil sidekick Deftonial have yet again committed a felony against all that is good and pure! The forces of darkness have endeavoured to prevent The Blue Flash from achieving his objective – obtaining The Ultimate Belt Of Shiny Power! The minions of evil must be punished, Mr CWF President Man- The Blue Flash demands a final battle to vanquish them once and for all!”

[The CWF President scratches his chin thoughtfully, and taps the desk with the end of his pen.]

MCMARTYN: “A final battle, eh boy? Hhmmm… if a final battle is what you want, a final battle is what you’ll get! Because at CWF Whiplash this Sunday, The Blue Flash will take on Kid Punk one-on-one… and it will be within the confines of an unforgiving fifteen foot high STEEL CAGE!”

[The Blue Flash melodramatically pulls back, and lets out a large gasp.]

FLASH: “Holy chairshots! That, Mr CWF President Man, is truly worthy of a final battle! Within the perimeters of harsh steeliness the forces of good can finally be held accountable!”

MCMARTYN: “Don’t you mean “the forces of evil”?”

FLASH: “That’s what I said! BLUE FLASH … AWAY!”

[The Blue Flash sweeps himself out of the room, leaving the door to somehow close behind him. Somewhat lost for words, Mr McMartyn shakes his head in disbelief.]

MCMARTYN: “The people around here just keep getting weirder and weirder…”

MORGAN & FAITH VS NATURAL BORN THRILLAZ
Referee: Phil James

MOSHER: Some more tag team action for you next ladies and gentlemen, as Faith and Morgan take on Natural Birn Thrillaz!

MEXICAN: Damn right amigo! It's the battle of the sexes- CWF style!

TUCK: This match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Cameron, North Carolina... MORGAN & FAITH!

[The lights fade to purple and blue. 'Let Me Blow Ya Mind' hits the PA, and the crowd go wild as Morgan and Faith step out onto the ramp. Morgan stops at the top of the ramp and flashes the guns while stands behind her and flashes a quick smile. The two ladies then run down to the ring, jump up on the apron and flip over the top rope then they jump up onto opposite turnbuckles, posing for the crowd before dismounting with a backflip for a huge pop.]

MEXICAN: Wow! Morgan and Faith look hot tonight!

MOSHER: They certainly do, Mex! In fact, I'm surprised that Faith is competing at all tonight. She's had a hell of a week!

MEXICAN: In what way? Maybe I can comfort her...?

MOSHER: Well, she's just left her husband and she's suffered a serious head trauma and according to word backstage- she thinks she's a vampire slayer!

[The Greasy Mexican laughs.]

MEXICAN: A vampire slayer?! The vice president better look out then. That chica is the only person 'round here who even resembles a vampire!

TUCK: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 470lbs- Kid Punk & Deftonial- NATURAL BORN THRILLAZ!

[The lights go out. The arena fills with darkness. With several red flashes of light, "Bored" hits the speakers. White strobes flash across the stage as Deftonial and Kid Punk appear. They charge at the ring and pulls themselves over the ropes. Deftonial then flexes for the crowd, whilst Kid Punk stares out their opponents.]

[As referee Phil James goes over a couple of things in the ring with the four competitors, we head back to the announce table.]

MOSHER: Do you think it was wise for management to book Morgan and Faith in a match with these two maniacs? I mean, we've seen how vicious Kid Punk and Deftonial can be in singles competition. How do you think they'll perform as a team?

MEXICAN: Amigo! Anything could happen in this match!

[DING! DING! DING!]

[Morgan and Deftonial start the match, immediately entering the tie up. Deftonial, obviously the stronger of the two, immediately captilises irish whipping Morgan into the ropes. As she comes back, Deftonial attempts to clothesline her, but Morgan is quick and ducks, bouncing off the ropes on the other side and knocking Deftonial off his feet with a devasting dropkick. Morgan then pulls Deftonial to his feet, only to DDT his face into the canvas. Whilst he is laid out on the canvas, Morgan goes over to her corner and tags in Faith. Faith climbs up onto the turnbuckle...]

MOSHER: Faith is gonna fly!

[Faith performs a swanton bomb off the top rope, but she is too far away from Deftonial and misses!

MEXICAN: The chica was a little over ambitious with that move, don't you think?

[Deftonial is now up and heading towards Faith. He grabs her by the hair and drags her over to his corner and tags in Kid Punk. The two men pull Faith up, each grab her beneath a shoulder and pull off a double suplex. The canvas rumbles upon impact.]

MOSHER: Faith is in trouble here! That knock to the head must be affecting her judgement!

[Faith is half conscious on the canvas, whilst Kid Punk and Deftonial taunt her, Morgan and the crowd. Morgan is shouting for Faith to get up, but her words of encouragement are falling on deaf ears. Deftonial climbs out of the ring whilst Kid Punk bounces off the ropes and plants an elbow drop onto Faith. Then then goes for the pin...]

MEXICAN: It's all over for Faith and Morgan!

[..1..]

[..2..]

[..Faith kicks out with such force that Kid Punk is flung back onto the canvas!]

MOSHER: I can't believe it! I thought that was it! Where did that come from!

[Kid Punk can't believe it. He goes to nail Faith with a spear as she gets up, but Faith rolls out of the way and tags in Morgan, who spears Kid Punk! Morgan then mounts punches until referee Phil James tells her to cool. Morgan backs off, allwoing Kid Punk to get up. They enter the tie up once again, and Kid Punk attempts to whip Morgan into a corner, but Morgan counters, sending Kid Punk crashing into the turnbuckle instead. As Kid Punk lies against the ropes in the corner, Morgan uses her foot to choke him then releases after a reprimand by the referee. She picks Kid Punk up to whip him into the other corner, but this time Kid Punk reverses it and sends Morgan into the oppositie corner. Morgan connects and then falls back against the canvas. A sadistic grin appears on Kid Punk's face as he runs over to the corner, climbs the turnbuckle nearest to Morgan taunting the crowd. Morgan is dazed and Faith is now shotuing for her to get up as Kid Pink takes to the air and smashes into Morgan with a leg drop.]

MOSHER: That's gotta hurt!

[Kid Punk goes for the pin...]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[..Wait a minute! Faith has just pulled Kid Punk off of Morgan!]

[Kid Punk spins round to see Faith pulling on his leg, dragging him off Morgan. Irate, he kicks, sending Faith flying back against the security barrier.]

MOSHER: Now that was uncalled for!

MEXICAN: Oh no! Poor Faith!

[Referee Phil James climbs out of the ring to see if Faith is ok, while Kid Punk tags in Deftonial. Morgan has gotten to her feet and is trying to find sanctuary in her corner, but Deftonial has spotted her and with no referee in the ring, he and Kid Punk can do pretty much what they like! Deftonial drags Morgan out of the corner and into the centre of the ring, whilst Kid Punk dives out of the ring goes rooting under the ring for something. He pulls out a steel chair and throws it into the ring, before climbing in after it. Deftonial then whips the dazed Morgan off the ropes and as she comes back, he goes for 'Around The Fur'- the finishing move. He connects, knocking Morgan to the canvas. Kid Punk approaches, steel chair in hand and he waits for Morgan to get up.]

MOSHER: He can't be serious! Haven't they done enough damage? Just pin the poor girl and end this carnage! Where is referee Phil James when you need him?

[Morgan slowly starts to get up. Kid Punk is waiting patiently and Deftonial stands in their corner, watching with a menacing grin on his face. Morgan is almost to her feet. The crowd are going wild with excitment and worry. Shots of 'Stay down!' and 'Don't get up, Morgan!' are ringing out over the arena.]

MEXICAN: Oh my God! I can't look!

[Kid Punk is about to strike when suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder. He spins around. Faith is standing behind him with a steel chair in her hand and smiling mischieviously!]

MEXICAN: How did Faith get back in the ring so fast?!

MOSHER: Looks like the tables have turned!

[Referee Phil James slides back into the ring and strats shouting at Faith and Kid Pink to put the chairs down. Morgan has managed to crawl out the way and Deftonial is protesting. Faith and Kid Punk are ignoring the referee. They are just standing in the centre of the ring, staring at each other, steel chairs poised to strike. The tension in the air is thick. The crowd are screaming, but Faith and Kid Punk are still locked in a trance, waiting to see who will attempt to strike first.]

MOSHER: The tension is killing me!

MEXICAN: Referee! Stop this match. I can't stand it!

[DING! DING! DING!]

[Mexican's prayers are answered as Phil James calls for the bell.]

TUCK: The result of this match is a draw due to a double disqualification!

[The crowd seem to calm a bit, and even Kid Punk lets his guard down. Faith relaxes to... then suddenly whacks Kid Punk over the head with her steel chair! The crowd roar!]

MEXICAN: Oh my God!

MOSHER: Faith just nailed Kid Punk with that steel chair! I can't believe she did that!

MEXICAN: Faith, the Vampire Slayer? More like Faith, the Kid Punk Nailer!

[Faith drops the chair and meets up with Morgan in their corner. 'Whenever, Wherever/We Will Rock You' plays over the arena's PA system as Faith helps Morgan up the ramp. Kid Punk is out cold in the centre of the ring while Deftonial stands over him, shock and disappointment plastered over his face. The EMT's rush past Morgan and Faith as the exit the arena via the curtain and climb into the ring to attend to Kid Punk.]

MOSHER: Well, that will certainly be a match to remember!

MEXICAN: I think we need to go to a commercial, amigo! That was too much...

[Commercial break]

[Once again in the Presidential office backstage, we find Mr McMartyn along with Hans Grip and his manager, Sven Oder-Svensson. The CWF President is energetically pumping the hand of the Swedish powerhouse while Sven looks on with a bemused little smile.]

MCMARTYN: “Hans, I couldn’t help but invite you in here personally to congratulate you on a great job earlier in your match against Hardcore Hammond. Brilliant effort!”

HANS: “Thänk Yøu Mr McMärtyn Sir.”

MCMARTYN: “And of course, I wish you all the best in your match Sunday against Kyle Reece in the Intercontinental Championship Finals. I trust, Mr Oder-Svensson, you having been training young Hans here well?”

[The foreign manager stares blankly at the bellowing President for a few puzzling moments, then answers with a little smile.]

SVEN: “I believe I am prøbably training Hans yes, but I dø nø t always intend tø be a part øf his daily røutine. Eventually I høpe tø have instructed Hans sufficiently that he will be capable øf critiquing his øwn wørk and be able tø understand the areas in which he can føcus himself øn his tasks. I høpe he will cøme tø regulate himself in pressured situations and be able tø facilitate his strengths tø cømensate før his weaknesses. “

[Mr McMartyn doesn’t really understand this response, but smiles broadly and pats the manager on the back, knocking him forward a few feet with the heavy handed impact. McMartyn guffaws loudly, and pats Hans on the arm also. Unlike his thin manager, Grip does not budge. ]

MCMARTYN: “Well my boy, I’ve got some training of my own for you. You see, I think that, with such a big match coming up on Sunday for you, you could do with a little preparation in the ring. And what better to prepare you than one of the CWF’s premier talents? Hans son, I’m giving you a big opportunity here. Thursday night, you get a shot at the big time … it’s going to be Hans Grip going one on one with Phil ‘The Man’ Leach!”

[A big smile breaks out onto Hans Grip’s face whilst Sven nods politely.]

SVEN: “Thank Yøu very much før this øppørtunity.”

HANS: “I will crush him like ä little bug.”

[Mr McMartyn laughs loudly and pats Hans on the back again.]

MCMARTYN: “That’s my boy! That’s what I like to hear…”

“WILDCARD” SIX MAN TAG MATCH
Phil Leach, Dan Jones & Damian Ali vs Andrew McMartyn, ‘The Huckster’ & Clint Hill
Referee: Adrian Davies

TUCK: “It is now time for the “Wildcard” Tag Team Match…”

[The crowd gives off a loud reaction as the portly ring announcer signals the start of tonight’s main event.]

MEXICAN: “This is it, essa!”

MOSHER: “This match should be MOST interesting…”

[“Real American’ fades in and the crowd go wild! ‘The Huckster’ Bob Jones has arrived! The grizzled veteran struts out onto the entrance stage and methodically makes his way down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans as he goes.]

MEXICAN: “Look at this senor! It is like “Walking With Dinosaurs, no?”

TUCK: “Introducing first, THE HUCKSTER, BOB JONES!”

[The Huckster slowly climbs into the ring and proceeds to go through his usual taunts and posturing, each receiving a huge pop from the fans. The Huckster rips off his T-shirt and “Real American” comes to an end, quickly followed by “Beautiful Creatures”.]

TUCK: “Coming down the aisle … CLINT HILL!”

[Clint Hill receives a loud, but very mixed reaction. He makes his way tot he ring with the minimum of fuss, and nods at The Huckster as more of an acknowledgement than a friendly gesture. The lights go down, bathing the arena in a blue light. A massive jeer fills the building as Andrew McMartyn saunters out onto the ramp.]

TUCK: “Accompanied to the ring by Natasha, ANDREW MCMARTYN!”

[Andrew turns his nose up at the booing and marches to the ring. The younger McMartyn leaves Natasha at ringside as he climbs through the ropes, immediately laying down the law to his teammates. Both Hill and The Huckster look highly unimpressed. ]

MEXICAN: “Heh! Andrew McMartyn is sure showing his partners who is boss!”

TUCK: “And their opponents … introducing first, accompanied by Felicia, the CWF Hardcore Champion, DAMIAN ALI!”

[More booing greet Damian Ali and Felicia as their stride to the ring. Both climb into the squared circle and begin talking the match over. “Pushing Me Away” starts to play and Dan Jones walks out and down to the ring.]

TUCK: “And his partners, firstly introducing DAN JONES!”

[Dan solemnly enters the ring and removes his hat and long black coat. He shots a glare across at Andrew McMartyn before starting to discuss something. The fans go wild as “It’s My Life” hits the PA.]

MOSHER: “Listen to these people!”

TUCK: “And introducing, PHIL ‘THE MAN’ LEACH!!!!”

[Phil Leach hip-hops down to the ring to the stirring sound of Bob Jovi. He climbs into the ring and nods to The Huckster, before thrilling the crowd with hip gyrations and pelvis thrusts aplenty. Dan Jones looks on with disgust at his partner’s antics. Felicia steps to the arena floor, Phil removes his Pimp finery, Adrian Davies makes the signal and the bell rings – the match is on!]

MOSHER: “Here we go … something tells me we’re in for a rocky ride…”

[Andrew McMartyn waves aside his partners dismissively and steps through the ropes. Across the ring, Dan steps in also. The two old foes quickly go on the attack, but Dan gets the first strike in, sending Andrew stumbling back with a series of right hands. Andrew battles back with a plethora of chops and whips Dan to the ropes. Dan ducks a Clothesline and leap-frogs his opponent. Andrew tries to catch Dan on the rebound, but the ‘Lone Wolf’ floors McMartyn with a Flying Clothesline. Dan whips Andrew to the ropes and delivers a blistering Powerslam. Andrew whimpers and grabs at his back, then scrabbles over to his corner and tags in Clint Hill. Hill storms the ring, but Dan kicks away his leg and elbows him to the mat. Dan hits a quick Dragon Screw and goes to lock on a Leg-Hold, which Clint escapes by booting Jones from behind and sending him stumbling forwards. Dan spins around, and gets nailed with a boot to the face. Hill whips Dan Jones to the ropes, but he makes a quick tag to his teammate Damian Ali. Dan counters Hill’s whip with a Drop Toe Hold, and traps him in place while Ali drops a leg across the back of his neck. ]

MOSHER: “Surprisingly good teamwork here by Ali and Jones”

[Ali savagely kicks away at Hill then pulls him up and delivers a hard Suplex. A whip is followed up by a Reverse Elbow, flooring him and covering for the pin. 1 … 2 … Kickout. Ali goes to pick his opponent up and Hill tackles him to the mat. An Irish Whip sends Ali to Hill’s own corner where the wrestler boots away at him before tagging in The Huckster. The two partners both stomp down Ali before The Huckster plants him with a big slam. 1 … 2 … Kickout. The Huckster whips Ali to the turnbuckle and climbs up for the 10 Punch! The crowd counts along with him as he pummels away at Ali’s head. Bob Jones signals for the finish and whips Damian Ali to the ropes. Huckster gets up his leg for the Big Boot but Ali rolls underneath and manages to tag in Dan.

MEXICAN: “Ah essa, you must be impressed by Ali and Dan here… they work so well as a team, yes?”

[Dan Jones’ entrance raises a boo, but the crowd begins to buzz as father and son circle one another. The Huckster challenges Dan to a test of strength, which the ‘Lone Wolf’ accepts. Two generations of the Jones family lock up and attempt to out-power the other, but it is the older family member who triumphs, powerfully flinging Dan backwards across the ring. Dan Jones charges but is met with a series of big shots to the face. Huckster whips his son to the ropes and aims for a Clothesline, but Dan ducks and plants Bob Jones with a Neckbreaker. Dan nails his father with a Backbreaker then covers him for the pin- 1 … 2 … No! ‘Lone Wolf’ whips Bob to the ropes and sets up for a Back Body Drop, but telegraphs the move and allows The Huckster to knock him to the mat with a huge Shoulder Block. The old veteran scoops his son up and takes him to the corner, but Andrew McMartyn reaches over the ropes and tags himself in!]

MEXICAN: “I am surprised how well both teams are working together, Capataino!”

MOSHER: “Well they were up until just then. Did you see the arrogant way Andrew McMartyn just tagged himself in?”

[In the ring Andrew is savagely kicking away at Dan. He hits a Snap Suplex then follows up with a Russian Leg Sweep. McMartyn drags Dan to his feet and locks on a back grapple, but Jones elbows his way out of it, knocking Andrew back and then running to the ropes. Dan Jones looks for a running attack but Andrew counters with a Spinebuster. He leaps to Dan’s head and kicks his arm with a foot, imitating the People’s Elbow. Andrew runs to the ropes and is just about to hit his “Corporate Elbow” when Phil Leach runs in and hits a Manhattan Drop! Andrew is slammed down astride Phil’s knee and falls back to the mat, grabbing onto his injured crotch.]

MEXICAN: “I can’t believe it! Phil Leach just SAVED his arch enemy Dan Jones!”

MOSHER: “Well GM, I guess Phil is just working for the good of the team!”

[Dan regains consciousness and slowly crawls towards his corner to make the tag. Damian Ali and even Phil Leach are willing him to make the tag, but Andrew McMartyn dives to his corner first and manages to tag in Clint Hill! Hill rushes across the squared circle and pulls Dan back into the centre just before he can make the crucial tag. Hill beats down Dan then hoists him up, slamming him into the ground with a Pump Handle Slam. Hill makes the cover 1 … 2 … Kickout. Dan Jones, however, is getting visibly weaker. Hill pulls the ‘Lone Wolf’ to his feet but Dan strikes back with a flurry of shots, knocking Hill back several feet.]

MOSHER: “Dan Jones with a rush of adrenaline here!”

[After staggering Clint Hill with his right hands, Dan floors his opponent with a Short Arm Clothesline. He runs the ropes, but Andrew McMartyn slyly buries a knee in his back as he does. Dan goes down, only to be scooped up by Hill and given a Sidewalk Slam to the mat. Dan staggers up, and right into Hill’s grip – Chokeslam! Hill makes the cover 1 … 2 … No! Of all people, Phil Leach saves Dan’s skin at the last moment! Frustrated at being interrupted, Hill Scoop Slams Dan Jones to the mat and tags in ‘The Huckster’. Bob Jones climbs in, but instead of taking advantage of the already injured Dan, he allows his son to stand to his feet. ‘Lone Wolf’ struggles to a standing position and ‘The Huckster’ begins laying in the punches. The Huckster knocks his offspring around the ring and his a Back Suplex. Bob Jones makes the cover- 1 … 2 … No! Dan kicks out, but only by a fraction.]

MEXICAN: “Dan Jones has been in there for a very very long time, Capataino!”

MOSHER: “Dan needs to make a tag really badly here … will his father allow his the mercy to do so?”

[An exhausted and beaten Dan rises up, but The Huckster clamps on an Abdominal Stretch. Dan yells as the torque is forced down on his back, but resists the urge to scream out a submission. Bob Jones grits his teeth and holds on harder, whilst Andrew McMartyn yells at him to finish the job from the apron. Dan reaches out with all his might – and grabs onto the rope! The Huckster lets goes but goes back to work on Dan immediately, battering him with huge punches to the jaw. The Huckster whips his son to the ropes and runs to the opposite side … both men hit a Clothesline at the same time! Father and son knock each other down and lie in the centre of the ring, both fighting for the energy to move! Dan Jones and The Huckster slowly crawl towards their respective corners …]

MOSHER: “Which competitor is going to make that tag first?”

[The Huckster reaches his corner and Andrew McMartyn holds out his hand and screams at the veteran to tag him. Clint Hill leans over and tags himself in instead! An angry McMartyn watches at Hill leaps into the ring, just as Dan Jones lurches over and reluctantly tags in Phil Leach! A huge ovation greets Phil as he storms the ring, flooring Clint Hill with one Pimp Clothesline … two … three! Andrew charges him, but gets taken down too! Pimp Clothesline to The Huckster! Phil Leach is cleaning house! Andrew crawls into the corner as Dan and The Huckster battle to the outside. Hill and ‘The Man’ go at it, but Phil sends his opponent spinning with a huge “Swede”! Oklahoma Slam by Phil- 1 … 2 … No! Hill kicks out! Hill staggers up and Phil hits a Pimp Drop! Andrew rushes in to stop the pin but gets tackled to the ground by Damian Ali! Phil holds Hill down to the mat – 1 … 2 … NO! From the outside Bob Jones pulls Phil off Clint and stops the almost certain pinfall!]

MEXICAN: “This is crazy!”

MOSHER: “This match is descending into chaos!”

[All six men are now in the ring … Phil is going toe to toe with Andrew McMartyn, The Huckster with Damian Ali and Dan Jones with Hill. The Huckster hurls Ali to the outside and jumps to the floor to follow the assault up. Dan Jones charges Hill but Clint Back Body Drops him to the outside! Phil and Andrew are going at it, but McMartyn sends Phil down with a Low Blow … and takes a boot to the face from Clint Hill! The attack was intended for Phil Leach! CRASH! On the outside, The Huckster takes Damian Ali out by whipping him into the steel ring steps. Amidst the chaos, Phil aims a big chop at Clint Hill, who ducks, causing The Gentleman Pimp to miss his shot. Chokeslam! Phil goes down and Clint makes the cover- 1 … 2 … ANDREW breaks up the cover!]

MOSHER: “What?! Andrew McMartyn just broke up his own teammate’s pin! What gives?!”

MEXICAN: “Well, if your partner just booted you in the face would you be happy?”

[Andrew quickly retreats to the ring apron but an angry Clint Hill leaps up and goes after him. Hill swings for McMartyn but Phil is up behind him! Back Suplex by Phil to Clint Hill. Andrew reaches through the ropes and touches Hill, tagging himself in! McMartyn and Leach go toe to toe … Irish Whip by Andrew … Chin Crusher! Andrew kicks the staggered Phil in the gut and sets him up for The Final Solution! The Huckster is watching on the ring apron, seeming to cheer on Andrew as he has a win in sight! No! Phil sweeps out Andrew’s legs and catapults him over head, right into The Huckster! As Phil crouches on the mat and tries to regain his breath, Andrew staggers to his feet. He begins arguing angrily with Bob Jones for getting in his way. Slap! McMartyn strikes Bob across the face – The Huckster don’t like that! He steps through the ropes and goes after Andrew- but is attacked from behind from Dan Jones! ‘Lone Wolf’ goes to beat his father down, but PHIL comes to The Huckster’s aid!]

MEXICAN: “What’s going on?! Everyone’s turning on each other!”

[Damian Ali yanks an exhausted Clint Hill off the ring apron and hurls him into the ringside barricade. Ali then rolls into the ring and spots Phil beating down their own partner. Damian angrily makes a run towards Phil Leach, but The Huckster warns his opponent of the threat! Phil Leach spins around and catches Ali with a flurry of shots! ‘The Man’ staggers Ali back to the ropes, and punches him right over and out onto the arena floor! Phil Leach and The Huckster now gesture towards each other and link arms, delivering a Double Clothesline to Andrew McMartyn! Dan Jones scrambles to his feet behind, but the duo deliver a Double Clothesline to him too! Phil flings Dan through the ropes and out of the ring as Andrew staggers to his feet. The furious superstar shoves The Huckster hard, who responds by “Hucking Up”! McMartyn swings for Bob Jones, who blocks the shot and waves a reprimanding finger in his face! The Huckster smashes Andrew in the face with his trademark Big Boot, spinning him around and right into a Pimp Drop! Phil drills Andrew headfirst into the mat and makes the cover 1 … 2 … 3!!! Phil Leach pins Andrew McMartyn!]

MEXICAN: “Oh my god! Those teams just imploded on one another Mosher!”

MOSHER: “Yes, but Phil Leach just got the winning pinfall on Andrew McMartyn … this thing’s all over!”

[Around the ringside area the scene is one of total chaos. Damian Ali lies in a heap on the arena floor, being attended to by Felicia. Dan Jones kneels on another side of the ring, wiping blood from around his mouth. A dizzy and battered Andrew McMartyn rolls to the outside and is helped back up the entrance ramp by a concerned Natasha. Clint Hill is the only one standing on the outside, and looks up into the ring angrily, shouting abuse at ‘The Huckster’ Bob Jones. As “It’s My Life” blasts through the arena, Phil ‘The Man’ Leach celebrates alongside The Huckster, one of his opponents. The duo raises each other’s arms in victory and Bob Jones motions a title belt around his friend’s waist as a truly turbulent Tuesday Night Turbulence goes off the air!