::TUESDAY NIGHT TURBULENCE::
25th June 2002

[We kick off CWF Tuesday Night Turbulence in the private office of CWF Chairman Clive R McMartyn, and a huge boo from the audience readily greets the scene there. Mr McMartyn is sitting at his plush desk looking confused and annoyed, whilst his son Andrew stands beside the desk frantically trying to explain something to the CWF President.]

MCMARTYN: ...You did WHAT?!...

ANDREW: ...I know, I know! In hindsight it seems so stupid!...

[Mr McMartyn slams his hands down on the desk angrily.]

MCMARTYN: ...In hindsight it seems stupid?! I'd say it sounds stupid all the damn time!...

ANDREW: ...Come on Dad, it might not be as bad as it seems! I'm sure you we can cover ourselves somehow!...

MCMARTYN: ...Cover ourselves? We'll have a damn hard time trying! And what the hell were you doing in SOHO anyway?!...

[Andrew McMartyn looks somewhat embarrassed, and stammers a reply.]

ANDREW: "Uh… nothing Dad, it doesn't matter… but seriously, what are you gonna do about it? We have to sort this out!"

[McMartyn Senior looks up at his frantic son wearily.]

MCMARTYN: "I don't know… this is another fine mess you've got us into!!"

[We fade out from the arguing father and son and into the opening credits of CWF Tuesday Night Turbulence, leaving viewers wondering exactly what the McMartyns are talking about…]

[The camera pans in live to the Amphitheatre in Caerleon, a fitting location for Tuesday Night Turbulence, the inaugural television production of the new, revamped Caerleon Championship Wrestling!

The Amphitheatre has been extensively altered to house the CWF. A black and red ring stands in the centre of the arena, and a long metal ramp leads up from it to the curtained entranceway, dwarfed by the monstrous TitanTron towering above the arena. Screaming fans pack the Amphitheatre, waving their homemade signs and shouting out their heroes' names. Light shows sweep across the crowd, and a huge fireworks display goes off on the entry ramp, around the McMartynTron, and over the ring. The fans scream even louder: CWF Tuesday Night Turbulence is ready to begin!

We go down to ringside, where an excited Captain Mosher and The Greasy Mexican stand with microphones in hand. The veteran CWF broadcasting team welcomes viewers to the show.]

MOSHER: "Ladies and gentleman, welcome, one and all, to this historic night- the debut Television event held by the new and improved Caerleon Wrestling Federation! We have an excellent card for you here tonight, a sold-out crowd and a beautiful arena. I have no doubts that all of this will truly make tonight's CWF Tuesday Night Turbulence a very memorable event!"

MEXICAN: "Oh Mosher, can you feel it? This is the big one, the first time, numero uno! I can't wait, because this is gonna be great!"

[We go to the squared circle now as the CWF ring announcer, Mr. Tuck, steps into the middle of the ring.]

TUCK: "Ladies and gentleman, please welcome the Chairman of the CWF, MR….MCMARTYN!"

["No Chance" hits as the crowd jumps up to strain their necks, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the night's first CWF personality. Through the curtains strides Clive McMartyn, looking all around him and breathing in the air as he swaggers down the ramp to the ring. Inside the ring a stand has been set up with some form of glass cabinet atop it. The glass case is covered by a piece of red velvet cloth. A matching red velvet carpet has been rolled out onto the canvas to form a lavish looking carpet. Mr McMartyn steps through the ropes and is handed a microphone by Mr. Tuck. The CWF Chairman looks around and waits whilst the crowd and his theme music both die down. His response from the crowd has been mixed, and the fans continues to buzz as the founder of the company makes his opening address.]

MCMARTYN: "Tonight, we find ourselves here in the beautiful Roman Amphitheatre in Caerleon as the Caerleon Wrestling Federation proudly presents it's inaugural Tuesday Night Turbulence show! They said I couldn't do it, they said I WOULDN'T do it….but here we are nonetheless. The CWF is up and running, and in business. This, believe it or not, is one of the proudest days of my distinguished life. The day when I brought the CWF back from the void- back to network television!"

[The crowd bursts into cheers at the mention of the historic event they are attending. Mr McMartyn looks around and smiles, adjusting his expensive suit before continuing.]

MCMARTYN: "However, it would be inappropriate to bestow one of my recitations here upon you tonight. There are things to be done, decisions to be made, an event to be had! Despite certain… ahem… "executive transformations" the show will indeed go on! I pondered awhile, what the ideal first act of Tuesday Night Turbulence could be. A long speech? A match? But then it came to me…the issue of our World Heavyweight Title should be addressed. I pondered, therefore, exactly what to do regarding how I would determine our brand new CWF Champion. Should I hold a tournament? A battle royal? No, I thought, the best thing to do is to crown a champion immediately. A champion is the focal point of any federation…without him the company is little more than a lifeless skeleton. So it is my decision to reveal to you the new Caerleon Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Champion RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!"

[The crowd buzzes with excitement at this announcement. With a theatrical flourish Mr McMartyn yanks the red velvet cloth off the podium, revealing the glittering CWF Championship title belt sitting in the glass case underneath.]

MOSHER: "I can't believe this… we didn't know anything about a Championship ceremony here tonight!"

[McMartyn takes the heavy glass lid off the presentation case and places it down in the ring.]

MCMARTYN: "So, without further ado, let me introduce to you YOUR new CWF Champion…

[Suddenly the Tuesday Night Turbulence music begins to play. The fans stare intently at the entrance to discover who this is coming out to the ring, to discover who exactly is going to be crowned the new CWF Champion… It's Jud McMartyn! The CWF Chairman stands in the ring, not looking best please at this interruption. The now former wife of Mr. McMartyn and the co-owner of the CWF makes her way out onto the rampway to an audible pop from the CWF fans, climbing up the ring steps and stepping through the ring ropes into the squared circle. Mrs McMartyn has had her hair expensively blow dried and coloured, and wears a smart, grey trouser suit. In her hand she carries a microphone, which she raises up as her music dies down. She fixes her ex- husband with a steely gaze, but sighs as she begins to speak.]

JUD: "I'm sorry to be so rude to interrupt you Clive, but I had to come out here and voice my concerns about your announcement here tonight. You see, I'm just as proud as you are that we've taken the CWF to a new height, that we're making a fresh start. And yes, the champion of this company is a very important issue, after all, we've had some of the greatest competitors of all time hold the CWF Championship over the years. But I disagree that the CWF Champion is the heart of this federation… the heart of this federation is COMPETITION."

[This gets a big pop from the assembled fans. Clive McMartyn is seething as Mrs McMartyn carries on.]

JUD: "… And competition it must be that decides our Champion, Clive, not whatever your own personal preference is. I won't let you just come out here and give away our most highly treasured Championship tonight."

MCMARTYN: "Well, well, well. What a holy surprise! Saint Jud coming out here to put tabs on me, interfering and meddling in things she doesn't understand- yet again! Listen my dear, you may be the big genius up there in the boardroom, but when it comes to that locker room back there, when it comes to this ring, and these superstars- and this belt, I'm the one wearing the trousers! Got it?"

[Mr McMartyn looms over Mrs McMartyn ominously, but the stony faced CWF owner looks unfazed.]

JUD: "Well, when your ill informed decisions out here effect the way this company is seen and I run, you make it my business. We are a professional company, and that's how we need to be seen. Now I don't know WHO you had in mind to hand this title over to, but-"

[Mrs McMartyn is cut off mid-sentence as Puddle of Mudd's "Control" blasts into the arena. A big boo goes up as the third owner of the CWF, and the offspring of Mr and Mrs McMartyn appears on the entrance ramp. Andrew McMartyn hurries down to the ring dressed in a roll neck sweater and black trousers. The CWF superstar hops up onto the apron and steps into the ring. He moves quickly past his parents to grab a microphone from Ralph Tuck. As "Control" dies down an angry Andrew addresses his mother.]

ANDREW: "Mum… Dad is right, what business is it of yours to meddle in in-ring affairs?! My father Clive McMartyn started this company all those years ago- we might all be owners here, but there's only one BOSS! I suggest you just butt out, Mum, and let him get on with things! If wants to make… uh, SOMEONE champion, let him go right on ahead!"

[Jud McMartyn raises an eyebrow and smiles in an amused way at the temper tantrum coming from her son.]

JUD: "… And what exactly are you so upset about Andrew? I never knew you had such strong views about the management of this company… unless of course, you have a PERSONAL interest in what's happening out here tonight…"

[Andrew McMartyn snorts in contempt and glances over at his father.]

ANDREW: "Personal interest? Pah! I don't know what you're talking about… I just want what's… er … good for the company, yeah, that's right! Besides, we haven't got much time Dad… you know, until they get here… I'd hurry up!"

[Mr McMartyn raises the microphone to his lips, but Jud begins talking first. Mrs McMartyn turns to face her son, a puzzled look on her face.]

JUD: "Excuse me Andrew… but who exactly are you talking about? Is there something I should know about?"

ANDREW: "Er… um… ah…"

CLIVE: "It's nothing, nothing to worry about whatsoever. Like I said a bit earlier, just a few "managerial transformations"…"

[Jud looks at him incredulously, as Andrew begins to twitch impatiently.]

CLIVE: "Uh, well, you know-"

[Suddenly, Andrew pushes past his mother and makes a start towards the glass cabinet in the centre of the ring.]

ANDREW: "Oh, enough of this! Dad, just declare me CWF Champion and lets be down with it!"

MCMARTYN: "Ahem… yes, ladies an-"

JUD: "Wait just a minute! I want to know exactly what's going on here!"

[As mother, father and son squabble amongst each other Andrew reaches into the glass display case and seizes the huge gold CWF Title belt. All eyes suddenly look towards the McMartynTron as unfamiliar music begins to play. A strange female appears on the entrance ramp, dressed like a Goth with heavy make-up and a long black trenchcoat. The crowd buzzes at this new arrival, who confidently makes her way down to the ring and steps inside, microphone in hand. She looks over the bickering McMartyn family and laughs nastily at them. Clive McMartyn gapes at her, amazed someone dare interrupt the inpromptu board meeting. Mrs McMartyn looks on in surprise, wondering what this stranger wants. Andrew drops the title belt back into the case and looks up sheepishly, eyes frantically darting around. Eventually, Mr McMartyn lifts the microphone to his lips.]

MCMARTYN: "Who… the… hell… are you?"

[The arena dives into silence as the CWF Chairman's question hangs in the air. The newcomer replies.]

ACID: "The name's Acid, and I suggest you get familiar with it, it's going to become very well-known around here. You must be Clive R. McMartyn himself... and you must be Mrs McMartyn… it's good to finally meet the people I'm going to be working so closely with. I've already met your darling son, by the way."

[The coin has dropped with Mr McMartyn, who glares at his son before looking back in amazement at Acid. Jud McMartyn takes a step forward.]

JUD: "Well Acid, let me be the first to welcome you to the Caerleon Wrestling Federation. But I must admit, I'm a little confused… what exactly do you mean by "working closely with"? I'm afraid I don't understand."

[Acid looks over at Andrew McMartyn and flashes him a wicked smile.]

ACID: "Ah, well I'm sorry to tell you this Mrs McMartyn, but it seems you've be kept in the dark. I'd say your ex-husband over there knows what's going on… You see, a couple of weeks ago your beloved son was taking a little break in the place I call home, London city itself. Anyway, he and I happened to run into each other when we met in a card game at one of the Soho clubs there. I'm guessing Andrew over there had had a itsy bitsy too much to drink that night, because he was gambling money away like there was no tomorrow. And when the money ran out, he had to bet something else… his ownership of the company!"

[Jud looks at Andrew in amazement, whilst Clive turns red with anger.]

ACID: "And as luck would have it, I was playing pretty good that night, as I walked away with pretty much all his cash… oh yeah, and half his ownership in this company! Congratulations guys, I'm your NEW co-owner and business partner!"

MOSHER: "Oh my God! I can't believe it!"

[The crowd in the Amphitheatre gasps in shock at this huge announcement! Jud McMartyn's eyes bulge out in amazement, whilst Mr McMartyn looks like to might explode. Andrew glares at Acid angrily, face burning red with embarrassment. Acid smiles and nods her head knowingly.]

MOSHER: "I… I can't believe this… what a shock!"

MEXICAN: "Mosher, are you telling me this freaky looking broad owns part of this company?!"

MCMARTYN: "ANDREW! What the HELL have you done boy? You just wait! And as for you, Acid or whatever your name is… I don't know who the Hell you think you are waltzing in here and telling me things like this, but we'll just see what my lawyers say about this! There's no way that I'm EVER having some weirdo Marilyn Manson wannabe WOMAN trying to run my company! We'll just wait and see how long this little arrangement lasts!"

ACID: "You go right on ahead, pal! I'm pure, undisputed boardroom material, whether you like it, or not! And as my first act as co-owner of the CWF… I'm stopping you from putting that CWF Championship belt around the waist of that brat son of yours! I agree with her- this belt can be fought for!"

[Acid strides over to the glass display case and grabs the CWF Championship belt, much to Mr McMartyn's amazement. Acid throws the belt over her shoulder and makes to leave, but Andrew McMartyn has seen enough. He runs up behind her and tries to grab the title, causing Acid to spin round furiously.]

ANDREW: "Listen to me, you little freak! When you come in here and start pushing me and my Dad about it'll be over my dead body! You just keep out of this… now give me that belt!"

[McMartyn JNR grabs the belt away from Acid as the crowd boos him vehemently.]

ACID: "You give that back, cry-baby! That belt is going to be won fair and square, and you're damn sure not going to walk out of here with it!"

ANDREW: "Oh yeah, and what are YOU going to do about it?"

ACID: "I'm not going to do anything, but you're going to do something alright!"

[Andrew snorts at his co-owner arrogantly.]

ANDREW: "Oh yeah, and what's that?"

ACID: "GET BENT!!!"

[As Acid screams her catch phrase she swings her fist and punches Andrew McMartyn right in the jaw! The crowd gasps and cheers as he topples to the mat and lands on his behind. Acid picks up the CWF Championship belt and slings it over her shoulder before climbing out of the ring. As her music plays, the new owner of the CWF makes her way back up the ramp.

In the ring, Andrew lies flat on his back clutching his chin in pain, and looking up in shock and anger at the departing Acid. His mother stands by looking a slight bemused by what has happened, whilst Mr McMartyn stares ahead in horror and outrage.]

MOSHER: "We have a new co-owner here in the CWF… and she damn sure isn't a McMartyn!"

MEXICAN: "Oh my God Mosher… what a way to start Tuesday Night Turbulence… what's going to happen next?!"

EARLIER TODAY…

[The scene fades up backstage at the return card for the CWF. Many of the staff are busy with last minute preparations and one man is standing atop a ladder and seems to be fixing the bulbs in the lights.]

VOICE - Do not fear citizen!!

MAN - What the…

[The man looks around wildly on top of ladder and is greeted by a caped blue man swinging past on a rope. The man recognises him as The Blue Flash, and Flash collides into the concrete wall on the other side of the ladder. As he once again lands in a crumpled heap on the floor a large piece o netting falls from the roof and lands on him.]

BLUE FLASH - Oh no! Some evil scheme carefully plotted by the enemies of peace has gone into action trapping me under this web of evil!

MAN - Are you OK?

BLUE FLASH - Do not fear citizen! The Blue Flash will rescue you once he escapes from this web of evil!

MAN - One, it is a piece of netting used for the stage in tonight's show. You must have released it when you swung into the wall and two, I don't need rescuing!

[The man's comments fall on deaf ears as The Blue Flash struggles wildly, but as he is not familiar with the powers of thought he tangles himself further in the stage netting.]

BLUE FLASH - Is this the end of The Blue Flash?

[Suddenly another person swings in to the scene. She is dressed in a pink costume and has a cape similar to The Blue Flash's. She manages to land on her feet beside Flash.]

BLUE FLASH - Spark Girl! Quick you must save me from this web of evil!

SPARK GIRL - Using my powers of entanglement I shall free you Flash! The enemies of peace and freedom will not have their way!

[Spark Girl quickly pulls the net off the Blue Flash and he jumps to his feet and puts his hands on his hips.]

BLUE FLASH - Now to aid the citizens!

[The Blue Flash runs over to the man at the top of the ladder and begins to climb up to him. Flash lifts the man onto his shoulder, despite the mans protest. He places him on the ground.]

MAM - Why did you do that, you idiot?

BLUE FLASH - No need for your thanks. The knowledge that my citizens rest safely is payment enough.

SPARK GIRL - Yes, and with Spark Girl by his side, peace and freedom now has two enemies!

MAN - Don't you mean "evil"?

SPARK GIRL - That's what I said, right?

BLUE FLASH - Indeed, now Blue Flash away!

SPARK GIRL - Away!

[The two of them run off out of the scene leaving them man to scale up his ladder once more.]

MAN - Speaking of evil! If these damn lights don't go in….

[Out in the parking lot, the camera alights on a pair of leopard skin boots strutting along the ground. The fans buzz, and as the camera pans out we see that it's Phil 'The Man' Leach grooving his way into the Caerleon Amphitheatre! The crowd cheers as a smiling Phil makes his way inside the building, but Phil stops as he spies Mrs McMartyn leaving the arena and walking to her limousine, wearing a big black overcoat.]

PHIL: "Hey Mrs M! How's tricks? You're looking very glamorous this evening!"

[Jud stops and smiles and Phil warmly.]

JUD: "Why hello Phil, it's good to see you. I was hoping to run into you actually… I wanted to wish you luck in that big cage match against Dan Jones tonight."

PHIL: "Why cheers Mrs M, but you ain't gotta worry, me and Dan, steel cage? I'll do him like a kipper!"

JUD: "And also Phil, just watch out for the rest of the family, OK? We've just learnt there's a new co-owner in the CWF, and Clive and Andrew don't seem to be happy in the slightest about it… just watch your back for me."

PHIL: "Will do Ma'am! Catch you again soon!"

[Phil Leach opens the limo door for Mrs McMartyn to get in. The car drives off and 'The Man' heads off towards the Amphitheatre arena, determined look on his face…]

THE BLUE FLASH v KID PUNK
Referee: Dennis Morgan

[As the intro segment ends, we cut to a shot of the ring, ready for the very first match of the new CWF's first ever show. It seems that the two competitors have already made their entrances, off camera, as both are already in the ring, Spark Girl stands outside, cheering on the Blue Flash. They mill around for a moment, as the referee prepares to begin the match. The ref calls for attention, briefly having words with the two men, then he signals for the bell.]

MEXICAN: What a waste of time! Who's idea was it to start our first show back with these losers?!

MOSHER: I hope you're not going to be this cheerful for the whole show!

[The two stars circle one another, slowly, neither ready to make the first move. They sidle closer together, then back away almost instantly. Both feel a little silly, realising they are meant to be wrestling. Kid Punk straightens up and throws his arms in the air, calling for fan support. He is met with a significant pop.

MEXICAN: Whoa! I can't believe this guy is so popular!

[Blue Flash smiles at this display. He waits his turn, then performs the same taunt. Almost the whole crowd gets to its feet.]

MOSHER: Amazing! Look at the reception for the Blue Flash! I think that settles the matter of who's most popular!

[Punk's smile fades at this display. Tired of playing around, he moves in to attack. Flash is caught off guard when Kid Punk hits a knee in the stomach. The Blue Flash doubles up, giving Punk the chance to down him with an axehandle smash.]

MOSHER: Kid Punk leading with the early advantage here...

MEXICAN: I put my money on the Punk to with this one.

[Before Flash has chance to rise again, Punk locks in a chinlock. The advantage doesn't last long, however, as Blue Flash battles back to his feet and counters by trapping Kid Punk with an arm wringer. Flash uses his advantage, bringing Punk down by yanking on his arm. Blue Flash then locks in his own chinlock.]

MOSHER: Both stars displaying similar wrestling style here.

[Kid Punk attempts to reverse in the same way Flash did, but Flash is able to maneouvre it into a hammerlock on Kid Punk. This frustrates Kid Punk, so he struggles free of Flash's hold and locks in his own back grapple.]

MOSHER: These two are very evenly matched! They keep trying to one-up each other!

[Punk looks for a backdrop on Flash, but the "superhero" breaks free, landing on his feet right behind Kid Punk.]

MEXICAN: No! Look out, Punk!

[Evidently, the Greasy Mexican's warning comes too late. Kid Punk is nailed in the back of the head by a side kick from the Blue Flash. As he stumbles to the ropes, Flash moves in quickly and uses Punk's momentum to attempt a schoolboy. This barely manages a two count.]

MOSHER: Looks like Flash is moving ahead of Kid Punk in this match.

[Both men are on their feet together. Flash is first to attack. He throws a right hand at Kid Punk, but this is blocked. Punk launches a right of his own, succeeding in staggering the Blue Flash. He drives Flash back to ropes, then whips him. Flash, however, has other ideas. He recovers halfway, and catches the careless Kid Punk with a tornado DDT. Flash seems on a roll now, as he bounds to his feet. The fans cheer him loudly, apparently having picked their favourite for this match already. Blue Flash decides to milk the crowd, and heads up to the top rope. It is apparently too early to finish the match, as Flash opts to leave his cape at ground level. He goes for a standard diving elbow, catching Kid Punk on the chest. The crowd loves it.]

MOSHER: The Blue Flash clearly displaying his power of "flight" here...

MEXICAN: Come on Punk, don't let it end like this!

[Flash goes for an optimistic cover, but gains only another two count. Kid Punk seems groggy as he pulls himself to his feet. Blue Flash tries to keep his momentum and whips Kid Punk. Or, he would have, had Kid Punk not reversed it. Flash bounds off the ropes and is met with a monkey toss. Blue Flash lands hard, arching his back in pain.]

MEXICAN: Here comes Kid Punk's comeback!

[Kid Punk follows up on the Flash with a couple of knee drops, then pulls him back to his feet. Flash is thrown into the corner, where Kid Punk hits some powerful chops. The crowd, not missing one trick, "Whoo" along with it. Punk then hoists Flash into the air and seats him on the ringpost. Kid Punk then climbs the ropes.]

MOSHER: Another high-risk move, this time by Kid Punk.

[Blue Flash is driven into the canvas by a powerful superplex. Kid Punk, seeming drained by this move, tries a cover. A two count!]

MOSHER: Blue Flash is still in this match!

[Kid Punk gets back to his feet, landing several stomps to keep Flash on the mat. Punk proceeds to climb the turnbuckles on his own. He leaps off, hoping for a diving headbutt. He eats canvas. Flash rolls away in plenty of time. Kid Punk, his head swimming, can't get up. Blue Flash, also rather tired at this point, stumbles over to a particular corner and straps on the cape. This meets an immediate fan response, raising the roof at the promise of seeing Blue Flash in his element. Flash, perhaps a little drunk on fan power, picks the corner post that is furthest from Kid Punk.]

MOSHER: Here we go! Blue Flash is gonna fly!

MEXICAN: That fool! He's too far away! He'll never cover the distance to Kid Punk!

[Flash jumps onto the top rope, balancing himself on the ringpost. He eyes his opponent warily, and slowly releases his grip on the ropes. Wobbling a little, the Blue Flash stands upright. He bounces a few times, up and down on the rope, then leaps into the air. Somehow, having turned 360 degrees as he travels, the Blue Flash connects squarely, bouncing nearly a foot into the air upon collision. Both men are suffering, but Flash still has sense enough to cover.]

MOSHER: What an impressive finisher from the Blue Flash!

[Having pulled off his finishing move, the match already belongs to the Blue Flash. The three count is inevitable, and soon the warbling of Queen is heard as "Flash" starts playing.]

MOSHER: An impressive first match from these two CWF newcomers.

[Blue Flash struggles to his feet, the referee raising his arm in victory. Flash rolls through the ropes and starts staggering his way up the ramp, aided by his loyal sidekick, Spark Girl. Before they have made it out, however, Kid Punk comes to. Realising he has lost, Punk becomes unusually upset. He slides out of the ring and snatches a chair from beside the commentary table.]

MOSHER: Oh no! What it Kid Punk doing?!

MEXICAN: He's getting some payback, after Blue Flash stole the match!

[Punk sprints after the "would-be superheroes", catching up just before they reach the top of the ramp. He shoves Spark Girl aside and beats down the Flash with the chair. Blue Flash is in no condition to defend himself, and is quickly beaten to near unconsciousness. Spark Girl stays back, unable to assist her partner, as the CWF referees pour down. Referees Phil James and Gary Willis manage to separate Kid Punk from the Flash, as the rest of them fail to help the non-responsive "superhero" to his feet. Kid Punk, now satisfied with the damage he has done, drops his chair and, pausing only to spit on the Blue Flash's prone body, leaves the arena. The fans bombard Kid Punk with some major heat as he leaves.]

MOSHER: That was insane! What's come over Kid Punk?!

[Ironically, "Flash" is still playing over the PA. The fans show their approval as Blue Flash finally gets to his feet. He raises one arm triumphantly, gaining a big pop, before keeling over backwards into the arms of the referees. They manage to carry the recumbent Flash back to a locker room, Spark Girl scurrying beside them looking concerned.]

Hans Grip v Kyle Reece
Referee: Gary Willis

Captain Mosher: This next match has had me on the edge of my seat since it was announced! Kyle Reece is set to square off against Hans Grip in a matter of moments. No doubt Grip's manager Sven Oger-Svensson will be at ringside.

Greasy Mexican: The England football manager?

Captain Mosher: No, you're thinking of Sven Goran Eriksson. We're talking about Sven Oger-Svensson

Greasy Mexican: Oh right... who?

Ralph Tuck: This match is scheduled for one fall.

['Give me fuel! Give me fire! Give me that which I desire!'- The intro to 'Fuel' by Metallica plays over the PA system.]

Ralph Tuck: Introducing first, from New York City. He weighs in at 215Ibs... KYLE REECE!!!

[Red and orange pyrotechnics explode as Kyle Reece makes his way through the crowd. He climbs over the barrier and then into the ring. He sheds his coat and waits for his opponent...

Suddenly 'Super Trooper' by Abba hits the PA system and Hans Grip emerges from backstage.]

Ralph Tuck: From Gothenburg, Sweden, being accompanied to the ring by Sven Oger-Svensson. He weighs in at 277Ibs... HANS GRIP!!!

[Hans walks on to the strains of the Swedish melody with Sven Oger-Svensson. As he postulates to the crowd in the ring "Super Trooper" comes to an end and he gets ready for the match.

Referee Gary Willis starts to explain the rules and check for illegal weapons. Once he clears both men, he signals for the match to get underway.]

[DING...DING...DING]

[Hans Grip and Kyle Reece jog around eventually tying up and Grip getting the advantage. Grip gets Reece in a side-headlock position. Reece pushes Grip against the ropes and gets out of the hold, but Grip shoulder barges Reece down. Grip goes against the other ropes and leg drops Reece as the crowd go wild. Grip gets Reece up and executes a snap suplex taking Reece down to the canvas. Grip poses to the crowd as they go wild. Reece gets to his knees as Grip gets him to his feet. Grip goes to whip him against the ropes, but Reece counters it sending Grip against the ropes and Reece performing a neck breaker, taking Grip down. Reece goes against the ropes and drops a hard elbow drop to the rib section of the Swedish superstar. Reece grabs Grip's right legs and drops his elbow to the hamstring, causing Grip to scream out in pain. Reece does this twice more before going for the pin...]

[..1.. ..2..]

[KICKOUT!]

[Grip gets his right shoulder from the canvas as Reece gets up. Reece pulls Grip up and executes a European slam on Grip. Reece pulls Grip up once again and body presses him against the rope and whips him off, kneeing him in the mid-section and going for the DDT, but Grip counters it into a low back body drop. Grip then grabs one of Reece's arms and locks in an arm bar. Reece tries rolling out of it, but Grip doesn't let him. Reece slowly edges towards the ropes and makes a grab for the bottom rope and gets hold of it. Grip pulls Reece up and executes a drop toehold causing Reece to go crashing into the second turnbuckle. Grip poses to the crowd once again as he grabs Reece by the head and smashes it into another turnbuckle. Reece falls to the canvas. Grip goes to the second rope and executes a leg drop and then rolls into a pin...]

[..1..]

[KICKOUT!]

Greasy Mexican: That was close! Being sarcastic!! HAHAHA!!!

[Grip pulls Reece up and knocks him back down with a boot to the face. He then kneels down on the canvas, driving his left knee into Reece's left hamstring. Grip pulls him up and goes for a suplex, but Reece counters it into a hard spine buster. Reece pulls him up and knocks him over the top rope with a hard clothesline. He then follows him out of the ring. Reece grabs Grip by the head and smashes it into the ring apron causing Grip to land back on the floor.]

[..1..2..3..4..]

[Reece sets Grip up for a suplex. Grip lands hard on the floor. Reece slides back into the ring.]

[..5..6..7..8..9..]

[A dazed Grip stars to get up using the announce table and slides into the ring just before the referee counts for 10. Reece kicks Grip as soon as he re-enters the ring, not allowing him to get to his feet. Reece then backs away to a corner, and waits for Grip to get up. Grip proceeds to his feet as Reece goes to spear him, but Grip moves out of the way as Reece crashes his shoulder into the ring post over the second turnbuckle. Grip grabs Reece and rolls him up...]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[KICKOUT!]

Captain Mosher: Now that was close! And IM NOT being sarcastic!

[Reece rolls out of the pin attempt. Grip looks shocked at not getting the three count. Grip grabs him once again and DDTs him down to the mat just by the turnbuckles. Grip climbs to the second rope and sits down on the third looking at Reece. He gets up climbing to the third rope and when Reece gets up, he dropkicks him to the mat.]

Captain Mosher: Nice dropkick!

[Grip leans over and grabs Reece's left leg. Grip puts all of his weight on the knee area as a submission move. The referee gets down quickly to see Reece roll over and counter the move therefore putting all his weight on Grip's knee. Suddenly Grip screams out in pain as Reece grabs the second rope for more leverage. Grip points this out to the referee and Reece immediately lets go. The referee goes back to Grip as Reece grabs the rope again, and as the referee checks, he lets go. The referee goes back to Grip as Reece grabs the ropes again, but this time the referee breaks the hold as he seen Reece holding on. Reece gets up and the referee reprimands him briefly before letting the match continue. Reece grabs Grip's head and puts it between his legs. He lifts him up and hits a hard pile driver smashing Grip's head into the canvas. Reece pins Grip...]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[KICKOUT!]

[Grip just gets the shoulder up off the canvas. Grip gets grabbed up by Reece and is suplexed back down to the mat. Reece grabs a leg of Grip and puts him into the figure four leg lock near the ropes. Reece lays down putting full pressure on Grip's legs.]

Captain Mosher: Wow! Reece really likes his submission moves doesn't he?

[Grip crawls towards the ropes and goes for the bottom one but misses it fractionally. He moves over a bit more and makes another grab and gets it this time. Reece is forced to break the hold. Reece gets to his feet first and goes for another suplex, but Grip counters it into a belly-to-back suplex taking Reece down. Grip is about to start stomping Reece's knee, when Reece rolls out of the way, and gets up. He bulldogs Grip and then pulls him up again. Grip is slightly dazed as Reece attempts to lift him up.]

Captain Mosher: What is Reece thinking?!

Greasy Mexican: Oh my God! He's going to the Military Press!!!

Captain Mosher: He can't possibly expect to pull it off! Grip is a lot bigger than he is! Impossible!

[Reece is having a tough time getting Grip up into the Military Press. Using this to his advantage, Grip moves his hand around Reece's shoulder and pinches him between the shoulder and neck. Reece goes down instantly.]

Captain Mosher: Grip has countered… in a sense…

Greasy Mexican: HAHA! Truncation!!!

[Grip goes for the pin…]

[..1..]

[..2..]

[..3..]!

[The bell rings and the crowd go wild. Sven Oger-Svensson slides into the ring to congratulate Grip.]

Captain Mosher: Grip wins! What an excellent in-ring debut!

Greasy Mexican: Look at Reece! He's out cold!

Ralph Tuck: Here is your winner... HANS GRIP!!!

MORGAN v GRANDMA
Referee: Sid Jefferies

[In the ring, Ralph Tuck readies himself to announce the next match. The opening chords of "My Way" blare out into the arena and a little old lady carrying a walking stick appears out on the ramp way to a mixture of cheers, boos and laughs.]

TUCK: "The following Women's match is scheduled for one fall… introducing first… GRANDMA!"

[The old lady casts disapproving glances around her as she gingerly climbs the steps and enters the ring. She bends down awkwardly to put her stick in one of the corners as "My Way" dies down.]

MEXICAN: "Ahahahaha! Are you a meaning to tella me that that there olda fossil is gonna wrestle? You musta be joking!"

["Let Me Blow Your Mind" starts to play and Morgan appears on the ramp way, garnering a more favourable reaction than her counterpart did. She jogs down to the ring and slides in, hopping up on the turnbuckle to pose for the fans, much to Grandma's quite obvious disgust.]

TUCK: "And her opponent… MORGAN!"

[Mr Tuck steps out of the ring and the bell sounds as the two ladies lock up, engaging in a small display of counter-wrestling as each tries to gain an advantage over the other. Grandma twists the arm of Morgan then traps the younger competitor in a headlock. Morgan elbows her way out and whips Grandma to the ropes. She hits the mat as the older grappler comes bouncing back, then leapfrogs a charge from Grandma as the senior competitor builds up some momentum. Grandma comes bounding off the ropes again, this time receiving a Monkey Toss from Morgan. Grandma grabs her back in pain and struggles up, only to be met by a Dropkick from her opponent. Morgan makes the cover on Grandma- 1 … 2 … Kickout.]

MEXICAN: "This Grandma… she is a little slow, no?"

[Morgan picks her opponent up and whips her to one of the four corners. She charges the elder wrestler but takes too long, giving Grandma the chance to move out of the way. Morgan crashes straight into the turnbuckle, and Grandma takes her chance. The elderly grappler delivers a series of hard knife-edge chops to Morgan's chest, eliciting a "Woo" from the crowd with each blow. Grandma delivers a Snapmare to Morgan, and then another, and then a third. On the third time Grandma skillfully snaps her opponent's head back into a Sleeperhold and clamps on the pressure. Morgan's eyelids begin to flutter as she loses consciness.]

MOSHER: "Morgan can't allow herself to slip away here… or as far as this match goes, it'll be lights out!"

[Referee Sid Jefferies raises her hand once, then twice, both times watching the arm fall. He lifts Morgan's arm one more time- and Morgan keeps it up! A series of elbows breaks the Sleeperhold and Morgan runs to the ropes. She ducks a clumsy shot by Grandma and comes off the other ropes, hitting a nice looking Flipping Clothesline. The crowd cheers as Grandma goes down, and Morgan scrabbles upstairs. Grandma wobbles to her feet as Morgan launches herself into a Missile Dropkick- which Grandma dodges! Morgan crashes down face first to the mat, allowing her opponent to go to work with heavy stomps to the back and head. Morgan tries to get up, but Grandma drives her face into the mat with a Chop Block. She covers- 1 … 2 … Kickout.]

MOSHER: "Morgan is really in trouble here… Grandma has this match firmly in control."

MEXICAN: "Wella, you know what they a say… age a before a beauty!"

[Grandma delivers some more stiff chops then hits a Scoop Slam on her opponent. She drops a elbow into Morgan's chest- cover by Grandma- 1 … 2 … Again, Morgan kicks out. The crowd cheers for her guts. Grandma pulls Morgan up and gives her yet more chops, then whips the youngster to the ropes. The elder lady telegraphs her move however, as Morgan somersaults over her with a Sunset Flip! She tries to pull the bulky Grandma down for the pinfall but the old lady won't budge, instead sitting down on top of Morgan! The official counts- 1 … 2 … No! Morgan just gets a shoulder up. Both ladies get up, and Grandma connects with a series of right hands. Morgan fights back though, rocking the older lady with a punching flurry of her own. Grandma tries to bring things back under control with a kick to the gut and a Suplex, but Morgan blocks the move with her foot and hits a Suplex of her own! Grandma sprawls on the mat, howling in pain.]

MEXICAN: "Looks a like her hip a went!"

[Morgan takes the opportunity and climbs up to the top rope quickly. She signals for the end- her Craziesault! She flips off the turnbuckle and into the air, but Grandma rolls out of the way and hops up, leaving Morgan to crash right down on to the mat. Grandma cackles evilly at her opponent's misfortune.]

MOSHER: "Looks that wily old Grandma was playing possum all along!"

[Grandma grabs her opponent's legs and clamps on a Figure Four Leglock! Morgan writhes in pain, but cannot stand the pressure. She taps out!]

TUCK: "Here is your winner… GRANDMA!"

[Grandma gets booed loudly as she keeps the hold on for a little longer, then gets up and grabs her walking stick before making her way back up the entrance ramp arms raised in victory. Morgan remains in the ring, holding onto her knee in pain and watching the victor disappear backstage.]

[In the palatial like office of Mr McMartyn, the CWF President is stood at his desk engaging in a heated phone debate.]

MCMARTYN: "What? What do you mean one hundred percent legal and correct? No, I don't believe you! There has to be some other way… what do you mean you can't change the law? Well, I can damn sure change my lawyer- YOU'RE FIRED!"

[McMartyn slams the phone down as his door creaks open and his son Andrew storms in, carrying a huge cardboard box stuffed full with various items. Clive looks up and down his offspring with annoyance.]

MCMARTYN: "What now? What's all that junk doing in my office Andrew? What is all that?"

ANDREW: "Oh, this?"

[The younger McMartyn bad temperedly drops the box to the floor with a loud crash.]

ANDREW: "This just happens to be the contents of MY office… my office that that damn Acid has just taken over! She slung all my stuff in this box and left it outside the door, Dad! What gives?!"

[Andrew slumps down on a nearby couch and massages his forehead in irritation. Mr McMartyn casts a sneering look over the large box of belongings.]

MCMARTYN: "I don't know how long that woman thinks she's sticking around here for, but if I were her I wouldn't get too comfortable… her stay is going to be a lot more TEMPORARY than she thinks!!"

"THE HUCKSTER" BOB JONES v HARDCORE HAMMOND
Referee: Phil James

TUCK: "This match is set for one fall… first into the ring - hailing from Austin, Texas in the U. S. of A. and weighing in at 295 pounds - HAAAAARDCORE HAAAAAMMOND!"

["One of a kind" hits the PA and echoes through the area. Hammond makes his CWF debut to an aura of encouraging pops from the gathered crowd. He smiles and makes a gracious entrance into the ring.]

MEXICAN: "Pah! Another newbie to the federation!"

MOSHER: "Well, he's up against the Huckster tonight - and you can't any less "newbie" than the man and myth combined that is Bob Jones!"

TUCK: "And now making his way into the ring, from Newport, Wales and weighing in at 250 pounds, "The Huckster" BOB JOOOOOONES!"

["Real American" hits the speakers, causing the crowd to go wild as the aged grappler makes his way to the stage. He flexes his muscles and delays his eventual entry into the ring with occasional posing for the gathered masses.]

MOSHER: "The question on the lips of every loyal CWF fan out there, is "Has this man still got it?"

MEXICAN: "Question should really be "Did this man ever have it?"

[The Huckster has now made it into the ring, and both men are sizing each other up. The Huckster comes off a good deal shorter than Hammond, but he seems unperturbed by the size advantage his opponent has.The referee, Phil James, declares the match started and the bell rings. The Huckster decides to go straight in for the kill and goes to give a solid right fist to the side of Hammond's head. Hammond sees the punch coming and ducks it, returning the favour with a blow to the stomach. Jones is momentarily winded and Hammond backs off to plan his next move.]

MEXICAN: "Hammond seems to be afraid of injuring the elderly. The Huckster may be developing a method of winning fights on pity as he ages!"

[The Huckster takes a breath in and straightens himself. He flexes his pectorals and shouts at Hammond to come towards him. Hammond is still a little bewildered as to what quite to do, but following his hardcore nature decides to pelt at the former champion. Jones decks Hammond with a clothesline. The new addition to the CWF roster falls flat on his back and the Huckster looks down at his new challenge.]

MOSHER: "I think The Huckster wants to be treated as if he were thirty years younger by Hammond… he just wants a damn good fight!"

MEXICAN: "If he were thirty years younger he would have to pay for buses…"

[Jones pulls the dazed combatant to his feet, but Hammond is not as startled as The Huckster was hoping. As Hammond regains his balance he pushes the veteran away and chops him. The Huckster stumbles backwards and Hammond chops him again. The crowd chirrups an enthusiastic "Woo" against the former champion. Hammond chops the Huckster again and the older wrestler hits his back against the ropes. The younger CWF superstar goes to Clothesline the veteran over the ropes, The Huckster counters with a knock down of his own. The Huckster drops an elbow on the fallen Hammond and then goes in for the pin. Phil James drops for the count- 1 … 2 … Hammond kicks out.]

MOSHER: "Listen to these Huckamaniacs!"

[Hardcore Hammond now gets to his feet and receives a big Shoulder Block from The Huckster. He scrambles up as the grizzled veteran goes for another Clothesline. Hammond ducks the shot and drops Jones with a Neckbreaker. Hammond scoops The Huckster up and drills him with a Sidewalk Slam. He goes for the pin- 1 … 2 … Huckster kicks out to a large pop from the crowd! A little frustrated now, Hammond whips Bob Jones to the ropes and sets up for a Back Body Drop. The Huckster sees this coming, though, and grabs Hammond's head, smashing it down into the mat! The CWF newcomer staggers up, and Bob Jones delivers a Back Suplex. He covers- 1 … 2 … Kickout!]

MOSHER: "Hammond in trouble here…"

[Huckster goes to pick his opponent up, but Hardcore Hammond catches the veteran off guard with a Jawbreaker. As Jones teeters on his feet, Hammond grabs him around the throat. There is a small pop from the fans- Hardcore Hammond is looking for his patented Chokeslam! No! The Huckster smashes an elbow into Hammond's face, breaking the grip. A whip by The Huckster… The Big Boot! The Leg Drop! 1 … 2 … 3!]

["Real American" booms out as referee Phil James raises The Huckster's hand in victory. The seasoned pro lends a helping hand to Hammond as he gets up. The two men shake hands as a mark of respect then Hammond steps out of the ring and goes to leave.]

TUCK: "The winner of this match…. "THE HUCKSTER, BOB JOOOONNNNESS!"

[We fade out as The Huckster poses and postulates in front of the Amphitheatre crowds, proudly celebrating a hard fought victory.]

STEEL CAGE MATCH
PHIL 'THE MAN' LEACH V.S. DAN JONES

[The fans buzz in excitement as the main event at the very first Tuesday Night Turbulence is ready to kick off! The Steel Cage lowers around the ring…this is going to be one for the ages…]

TUCK: "The following match is a STEEL CAGE MATCH…"

[The wild cheering of the fans is interrupted by "No Chance In Hell" hitting over the PA system.]

MOSHER: "What's this?!"

MEXICAN: "It's our boss, idiot, so show some respect!"

[Mr McMartyn swaggers out as normal, looking around the arena in disdain. He walks around the ringside area and over to the commentating booth.]

MEXICAN: "Oh! Mr. McMartyn! Please, have a seat- have MY seat!! This is such an honour sir, you were great out there earlier…inspirational!"

MOSHER: "Good grief…."

MCMARTYN: "Why hello there, Greasy Mexican, Captain, how are you both? I just thought I'm come down here so I could witness first hand this historic main event. "

[Suddenly, "Pushing Me Away" hits over the speakers and the entryway dips into blue lighting. Dressed in his long leather coat, Dan Jones makes his way down the ramp.]

TUCK: "Introducing the competitors…first, from Bristol, England, weighing in at 223 pounds, DAN…JONES!"

MCMARTYN: "Now this man, this man should win right here tonight… not some ingrate like Phil Leach"

MOSHER: "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

MEXICAN: "MOSHER! Show a little respect for Mr. McMartyn!"

[There is a large chorus of negative reactions for Dan, who stomps over to the ringside area and pushes a CWF official out of the way, then picks up and folds the chair they were sitting on. He climbs into the ring through the cage door, chair in hand. He takes off his entrance attire and throws it outside the ring, then waits.]

MOSHER: "Well Mr McMartyn… it certainly was a turn out for the books earlier on when Acid revealed herself to be a part owner in YOUR company… how do you feel about that exactly?"

MCMARTYN: "Well, I … I…"

[The CWF President's blustering is cut off as "Hello Ladies" hits to a deafening cheer from the crowd. The Gentleman Pimp, Phil Leach, jives out onto the ramp way and swivels his hips around in a sleazy motion. 'The Man' is carrying his Pimp cane and wearing Zebra skin trousers, a Pimp waistcoat and a big Pimp hat with a purple feather.]

TUCK: "From Llanbadoc Docks, weighing 172 pounds, PHIL…'THE MAN'….LEAAACH!"

MCMARTYN: "Listen to these people…why would they cheer for a sleazy…crude…perverted PIMP with an abombimal dress sense?!"

[The bell rings as Phil steps between the ropes and the referee closes the cage door behind him. Dan charges at Phil with the chair he brought in, but Phil ducks the shot and fires off a series of right hands. Dan drops the chair and comes back with shots of his own. Phil wins control of the fistfight, and drops Dan with two scoop slams. Dan staggers up, a Phil floors him first with one Pimp Clothesline, then another, and then a third.]

MOSHER: "Oh yeah, The Pimp Daddy is kicking ass!"

MEXICAN: "And Dan has nowhere to run!!"

[The camera cuts to Acid's private office backstage. Acid and her PA Julia are leaning against her desk and looking at a television monitor, observing the action with great interest.

Back inside the cage, Phil whips Dan into he ropes and hits a huge Back Body Drop. Dan hisses in pain and grabs his back. Phil steps over him, swivels his groin to the delight of the hysterical female fans in the audience, then straddles his opponent and batters him with mounted punches. Phil reaches over to grab Dan as the Lone Wolf struggles up, but eats a sucker punch in the ribs. Dan kicks the bent over Phil in the stomach some more, then delivers some hard knee strikes, doubling the Gentleman Pimp up. Phil is whipped into the ropes and takes a kitchen sink into the ribs once again. Dan smashes Phil into the cage and rakes his face across the steel.]

MEXICAN: "That'll alter his pretty boy looks!"

[As Phil grasps his face, Dan lays the boots in and hits an elbow drop. Picking Phil up, Dan Jones attempts a suplex, but Phil blocks with his leg and hits a Pimp-plex of his own! Dan is irish whipped into the ropes and takes a Sidewalk Slam. He staggers up and swings at Phil, but 'The Man' ducks and bounces Dan off the mat with a sit-down atomic drop. Dan rolls over flat on his back whilst the Pimp Daddy backs off, going for a Pimp Splash. WHACK! Dan grabs the nearby chair and holds it over him, and Phil's face smashes right into the steel.]

MEXICAN: "Haha! Beautiful!"

MCMARTYN: "Ha! It's resourcefulness like that which makes Dan Jones one of the finest competitors in the history of my company. "

[Dan waffles Phil with the steel chair repeatedly, and as Phil writhes on the mat in pain, ascends the ropes.]

MOSHER: "Dan Jones, going for an early escape here…."

[Phil spies his opponent climbing up and pulls himself off the canvas. He grabs Dan's foot and tugs, bringing Dan right down onto the ropes, groin first! Dan gasps in pain as Phil flips him off the ropes. Now he ascends the cage, but Dan climbs up after him, and drags the Pimp Daddy down. The two men trade punches once again, but Dan gets the advantage when he grabs Phil's arm and drags him down to the mat in a falling armbar. Dan applies the pressure, but Phil won't resists the pain. Worming his way across the ring floor, Phil grasps hold of the steel chair and SMACK! Dan lets go as Phil brings the weapon crashing down over his head!]

MCMARTYN: "Damnit! That chair shouldn't even be in there!"

[Phil drags himself along the floor towards the cage door. He crawls halfway out when Dan grabs his legs, dragging him back into the ring. Dan turns his opponent over and clamps on the Sharpshooter! Phil shouts out in pain and Dan rides back, applying as much force as possible. As Phil curls up on the mat, Dan now makes his way towards the exit. Phil drags himself up and spins Dan round as he reaches the door, rattling him with a flurry of Pimp punches. Dan swings at his nemesis, but Phil ducks and scoops Dan up in his arms. Oklahoma slam! Dan bounces back up from the force, and gets nailed with a Pimp clothesline, then another, then a third, then a fourth!]

MOSHER: "Phil is going postal on Dan!"

MEXICAN: "Come on Dan!"

[Phil roars to the crowd, who bursts into cheers. Phil hulks up to their delight, then as Dan staggers up the Pimpster lifts him up for a Pimp Drop….which Dan counters by slipping over Phil's back. Reverse DDT! Phil flies backwards and lands on the back of his head. He grabs at his skull but Dan smashes him over it with the steel chair. Dan climbs up the cage, taking advantage of Phil's incapacitation. The Pimp Daddy clambers up and follows Dan up the cage!]

MCMARTYN: "Go Dan! Go! Go! GO!"

[The two joust near the top of the cage, trading elbows and sidekicks. Phil grabs Dan's head and bounces it off the steel, and Jones plummets down to the ring. Phil looks like he might continue on upwards, but is too weak to climb and slides down the cage. Back on the mat, Phil drags Dan up and rocks him with The Chops! He follows up with a Pimp Legdrop then whips Dan to the ropes- reversal! Dan sends Phil to the ropes and hits a big Spinebuster. He staggers over, fatigued now, and pulls Phil back up. No! Phil comes back by planting the swede! The Gentleman Pimp smashes his head into Dan's again and again, sending Dan reeling form the headbutts. Dan stumbles to his feet, holding his head, whilst Phil Leach signals for his Pimp Drop. NO! In a beautiful counter, Dan slides off Phil's shoulders and onto his feet, booting his foe in the stomach and delivering his Darkness Falls Flowing DDT! The fans explode as both men go down.]

MCMARTYN: "Come on, damnit! Pull yourself together! "

MEXICAN: "Oh my god….who's gonna pull this off?"

MOSHER: "This is anyone's ball game…."

[To the disappointment of the fans, Dan climbs to his feet first. Seeing an unmoving Phil on the ground, Dan begins his ascent. He reaches halfway, and Phil has still not stirred. Dan continues climbing as Phil finally begins to shake off the cobwebs. He leaps up and blazes up the cage as Dan nears the top.]

MOSHER: "Good God! I haven't seen Phil move that fast in years!"

MEXICAN: "Not unless there was a bottle of vodka on the other end!"

[Dan is climbing over the cage top when Phil reaches him. Dan kicks away at his pursuer, trying to knock him off the structure. Phil grits his teeth and holds on, locking his arms around Dan's waist from behind.]

MOSHER: "What on earth is Phil going to do here?"

[GOOD GOD! Phil Back Suplexes Dan right off the top of the cage and onto the mat, twenty feet below! The crowd goes nuts as both men sprawl on the ground in a pile of unmoving flesh.]

MEXICAN: "CALL THE PARAMEDICS! CALL THE EMT'S! CALL THE UNDERTAKERS!!"

MCMARTYN: "No no no! This can't be happening!"

[Phil struggles up to a roar of approval from the fans. He slowly but surely begins to climb. Dan lies utterly unmoving on the mat below. Phil reaches the top of the cage and Dan still lies in the centre of the ring. With the fans roaring, Phil steps over the top- then stops. He looks around at a hushed and surprised crowd, looks down at the arena floor beneath him, then shakes his head. He climbs up so he is standing on the top of the cage. The fans begin to cheer wildly. Phil looks around and smiles.]

MEXICAN: "What's he going to do? What's he going to do?!"

MOSHER: "No Phil, don't'! Don't do it!"

[Phil rips off his Pimp waistcoat and throws it off the cage. He swivels his hips and thrusts his groin as the crowd goes crazy. Phil gulps, then leaps from the top of the cage!! He flies through the air ad down into the ring, crushing Dan's prone body with a Flying Iron Swede from the very top of the cage!!!!]

MEXICAN: "GOOD GOD!"

MOSHER: "GOOD LORD!"

MCMARTYN: "F****** HELL!"

[Phil bounces about three feet in the air from the impact, and holds onto his head in agony. Dan's broken body convulses wildly. As the Caerleon Amphitheatre comes completely unglued, Phil crawls over to the door and drops through the gap to the arena floor. The bell rings, and "Hello Ladies" blasts into the arena- Phil Leach has won The fans are going ballistic! Phil sprawls on the arena floor in exhaustion as the cage raises back into the rafters from around the semi-paralytic Dan. Phil rolls back into the ring and manages to drag himself up to a huge pop from the fans.]

MEXICAN: "Ca…na…..fer….la…"

MOSHER: "Can you believe what we have witnessed tonight?!"

MCMARTYN: "Uh…I've gotta go…"

[Mr McMartyn gets up and strides quickly around the ringside area and up the entrance ramp. A big boo goes up as Andrew McMartyn walks out from the back to join his father on the ramp. Father and son watch the Gentleman Pimp with disdain from the ringside aisle, pointing and shouting at him from a safe distance.

We cut to the back, where Vice President Acid stands watching the television monitor with a thoughtful look on her face.

Back in the ring, Phil Leach plants one foot on the unmoving form that was Dan Jones and raises his arms high in victory. The fans are still cheering wildly for their hero, and the first ever CWF Tuesday Night Turbulence fades out with the image of a triumphant Phil staring down the McMartyns...]