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EVE
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sun rises and sunsets are breathtaking,
the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just this one problem.
It is these three breasts that you have given me.
"The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes; they are a real pain!" reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs,
such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., that she felt that having only two breasts might
leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know.
I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed, and God once again visits Eve in the garden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part.
You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull;
all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right, how could
I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you.
Now, let's see... where did I put that useless boob?"
Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than that business about the rib?
Adam the Bargainer
God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while
all the animals have companions, so he decides to
create a companion for man as well. He comes to see
Adam and says to him,
 "Adam, you are my greatest
creation and therefore, I am going to create for you
the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other,
she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you
hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be
beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a
leg."
Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, "What
could I get for a rib?"
Which Came First?
Eve, in the Garden of Eden, called out, "Lord, I
have a problem." And the Lord said, "What's
the matter, Eve?" "
I know you created me and this beautiful garden. But
I'm lonely-and I'm sick of eating apples."
"Well, in that case, " replied the Almighty,
"I'll create a man for you."
"What's a man?"
"He's a flawed creature with aggressive
tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to listen.
But he's big and fast and muscular. He'll be really
good at fighting and kicking a ball and hunting
animals-and not bad in the sack."
"Sounds great!" replied Eve.
"There's one condition," added the Lord.
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him
first."
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Adam and Eve
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God.
Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her.
Adam began to ask questions about her.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord ... and I don't want to seem ungrateful,
but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you
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