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A MAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A WOMAN IS REALLY SAYING:I JUST NEED SOME SPACE..... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't had a fight in a while.  NO, PIZZA'S FINE. .... you cheap slob! I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. I just don't want you as a boyfriend now. I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? I can't believe you have nothing planned. COME HERE. My puppy does this, too. I LIKE YOU, BUT... I don't like you. YOU NEVER LISTEN. You never listen. I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE. I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will. OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF. I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch. OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!! Well, near there; I just want to get this over with. I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS. We're gonna make fun of you and your friends. Advice To Women From Men:...Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.' ...If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it. ...Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one. ...Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials. ...Please don't drive when you're not driving. ...Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline ...The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference! ...When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine. |
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