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Telephone Company
A phone company puts an add in the paper that they are recruiting workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up: a crew of five Italian men and a crew of five blonde women. The owner of the company cannot decide who to give the job to, so he gives them a test. The boss says, "Each crew will receive a telephone pole that they must install into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first will get the job." Both groups agree that this is fair. They go in the company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back.
A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the Italian crew returns. "YAY!" they shout. "We finished first, we get the job!!" "Good work, men," says the boss. "However we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic or because the truck broke down." "Fine, no problem," say the men.
An hour passes, two hours pass, three hours. Finally, at 12:00 midnight, the blonde crew arrives. All of them are sweaty and breathing hard. "What happened to you? What took so long?" asks the boss incredulously. "What do you mean, ‘what took so long'?? Do we get the job?" "YOU get the job? No way! The men were back here HOURS ago!"
"Well, of course they were," say the blondes. "They only put the pole in halfway."
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19, 19, 19, 19
A man is standing in the street saying, "19, 19, 19, 19." Then this blonde comes along and asks him what he is doing; but he doesn't answer, he just keeps saying 19, 19, 19, 19.
So the blonde says, "Well, I guess I'll join you." So now they're both standing in the street saying "19, 19, 19, 19." Then this huge semi comes along and runs over the blonde.
Then the man starts saying, "20, 20, 20, 20."
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Parachute Jump
A blonde, a brunette, a moviestar, the pope, and a pilot were in a plane. The plane was going down, and there were only four parachutes. So the pilot took one and jumped, then the moviestar took one and jumped, then the blonde took one and jumped.
Since there was only one parachute left, the pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, "There are still two parachutes left... The blonde took my backpack and jumped."
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Pull Over
While cruising the interstate, a state trooper passed a blonde who was knitting while driving. The trooper decided to stop the blonde driver and rolled down his passenger side window. He pulled up beside the blonde and yelled, "Pull Over!" The distraught blonde looked back and said, "Nah, it's just a scarf!"
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Road Stripers
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told them that they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job. At the end of the first day the redhead had painted 3 miles, the brunette had painted 2.5 miles, and the blonde had painted 10 miles. The boss was so excited, he told her to keep it up and the job was hers. The next day the redhead painted 5 miles, the brunette 5.6 miles, and the blonde just 4 miles. The boss told her not to worry, she still had a good lead. On the third and final day, the redhead had painted 6 miles, the brunette 5 miles, and the blonde only a mile. The boss was disappointed and asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so well." The blode said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away..."
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