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Marge: *I'll just have a coffee.*
Australian Bartender: *Beer it is.*
Marge: *No, cof-fee.*
AB: *Be-er?*
Marge: *Coffee. C-O-...*
AB: *B-E-...*

Marge: *My son's playing football, he needs protection.*
Store Clerk: *Ok, here's a helmet.*
Marge: *No, I mean lower.*
SC: *Shoulderpads, gotcha.*
Marge: *I mean for down there.*
SC: *Kneepads, here you go.*
Marge: *I need a cup.*
SC: *You wanna what?*
Marge: *I wanna C-U-*

*Hey kids! I made your favorite cookies: Christmas trees for the girls and bloody spearheads for Bart.*

*Homer, you know how unpredictable the French are. One minute they're kissing a woman's hand, then next they're chopping off her head.*

*Oh, Homer, of course you'll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s*

*I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.*

*Your character provides the comic relief, like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.*

*Homer, I've gone through seven years of receipts, and you've spent less on gifts for me than you have on temporary tattoos.*

*It's just until we pay off Daddy's desecration of a priceless artifact. I thought I'd never have to say that again.*

*Lisa, hello! How are you doing in England? Remember and elevator is called a 'lift,' a mile is called a 'kilometer,' and botulism is called 'steak and kidney pie.'*

*You know, Fox turned into a hard-core sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.*

*Homer, don't take this personally, but I've obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.*

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