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Minor Leagues

Roleplay of the Month

[ The high-rises, suits and ties, and the wealthy of Boston are some of the best off in the United States. On a Tuesday afternoon with a magical blue sky, a black strech limo pulls up in front of a new business building with the letters "V I" constructed across the fifteenth through twentieth stories. A bright reflection of the sun renders itself present off the rear end of the limo. A tall, well built figure steps out of the limo, wearing a double breasted, black Armani suit, and a conspicous pair of blue and white work-out gloves. A pair of sunglasses don the face of The Sadist, and he pushes his black hair back and strokes his goatee. The limo driver closes the door behind him, and runs ahead to open the door of the huge building for his boss. The Sadist stands at the enterance of this fancily furnished business place, and all work ceases, as all eyes have been casted toward him. He takes off the glasses, and begins to speak to the people staring at him. ]

TS : What are you all looking at? Is this what I'm paying you for? If you all don't get back to work, I'm going to fire each and every one of you, and I do mean it!

[ Right after he says those harsh words, work commences. The Sadist puts his sunglasses back on, and lets out a snicker as he heads toward the elevator. Once he makes it there, a young lady makes her way to him. Lisa Fergasson, dressed also in a double breasted suit, pushes the button to let the elevator to return to the first floor. As she pushes it, it opens up. The Sadist and her step aboard the elevator and begin to speak. ]

LF : Sadist, several things this afternoon. For one, there are several videos on your desk that I feel you should look at. Also, several bands have called you aski...

TS : Wait, several bands have called? Which and why the hell are they calling me? I don't have any involvement with the music industry.

LF : Let's see. Madhops, Pooch, True to Form, Forge and Crowd Deterant all called to offer to do the new music for Violent Inc., and also to hope to get them some air-time on IWL shows.

TS : I see. Well, call them all back and tell them all to do one, and we'll use all of them. And I'll advertise them on IWL shows and the such.

[ After this brief discussion takes place, the elvator stops on floor thirteen. Both The Sadist and Lisa step off, and walk down the hallway, exchangin papers and files. After several turns at hallways, they arrive at two seperate offices. ]

TS : Alright, that should do it. I'm going in my office now, send Mikey and the bunch up when they get here. Also, push off all appointments until this evening, I have a lot of business to take care of right now.

[ Before Lisa can give any reaction, The Sadist had already entered his office. As he slams the door, his phone rings. ],/i>

LF : Sadist, there are two messages for you. One from Vince in Connecticut about your future, and another from a Vince in Atlanta, also inquiring about your future. What should I call back and tell them?

TS : Tell them both that the only future I have lies in the IWL, and that no matter how much money they could offer it would just never be enough. I could retire right now as it is. [ With all that said and done, the camera begins to catch a very clear shot of the room. The furthest wall has shelves with many books, such as "Every Man Has a Price" and "Positively Page". Below that are various awards The Sadist has recieved in life. His certificate of graduation from Harvard sits above his certificate for "Completion of Les Thatchers Wrestling Academy". On either side of the books and awards stand large, glass kurios. There sits all the trophies he's acumulated as an established runner and baseball player. Also sits his rookie baseball card when he played for the Atlanta Braves in 1993. On the right side of that sits a big screen TV. Complete with DVD and VHS players, this marvel stands at 72 inches. In the cabinets above it is the Sadist state of the art stereo. Several CDs sit on each side of it. The left side has such favorites as "Strictly Diesel" by Spineshank, "SCIENCE" by Incubus, and "Release the Cure" by Indecision. On right side, "Gift" by Taproot, "Around the Fur" by Deftones, and "Dysfunction" by Staind sit. Below the TV, in the little room that is left, lies the collection of VHS tapes. Mostly WWF and WCW Pay Per Views, he also has movies such as "Trapped in Paradise", "Analyze This" and "Freaked". On the both sides on his TV are enormous speakers, which can be heard miles away, according to popular legend. The wall across for the entertainment is The Sadists refrigerator. Large in size to fit large amounts of food and beverages, it takes up but half the wall. The other half is covered in wrestling posters and various photographs of women that The Sadist has met in his time in wrestling. Picture amounts are in the range of 180. In the middle of all the walls, sits an imported leather couch and chairs, brown of color. A glass coffee table sits in the middle of all of that. Magazines, most notably Pro Wrestling Illustrated and IWL Magazine, grace the top of the table, and is surrounded by various cigars. But the gem on the room sits in front of the multi-million dollar window that lets The Sadist see the hustle and bustle of Boston. A polished cedar desk, massive in size, sits with pure illumination surrounding it. From the Sadist nameplate, to the expensive computer, to the safes, this desk is one that is rivaled by none other. The Sadist spins around his custom leather chair, and leans back. He looks up to the chandelier, and lets out the biggest smile we had seen on his face as of yet. While he is staring, a pile of tapes on the desk catches his eye. The first he sees is one entitled, " IWL on Market Week". With an odd look in his eyes, The Sadist pops the tape into his VCR, sits on his leather couch and begins to watch. ]

MB : Hello, you are watching CNBC, and this is "Market Week". I am Maria Bartiromo, and this week I am going to bring you the story of a stock that has been tearing up Wall Street. I am talking about none other than the Internet Wrestling Federation stock. Unlike the WWF and the WCW, the IWL brings you action that is not all about sappy storylines and making money. They describe themselves as a group of people who just want to put on a good show. We asked Jeff Gaudet about the IWL, and here's what he had to say.

JG : You know, the President, Brad, he's a real good guy. He could boss us around like he rightfully should, but he doesn't do it that way. He acts like one of the guys instead of the superior. We are able to make things work better this way. We go out there, and we put our bodies on the line, and when we come back here, he has all kinds of positive comments for us, it makes us feel incredible.

MB : We proceeded to ask Gaudet about the IWL pre-arranging their matches and pre-determining winners. We were shocked to find out that they don't write things out months in advance. Usually a winner is not decided until that day. As all of you die hard wrestling fans know, the WWF and WCW write scripts months in advance. The IWL feels that not planning things until the latest possible point is going to keep fans even more interested, and will provide more excitement. Now onto some figures about the company. When it opened, it was first priced at 16 and 7/8. By the end of the day it was up to 19 1/8, quite a jump for a first day company. But the real odd fact about this stock is that since that day, it has failed to lose any points. Each day it has risen, and currently it is positioned at 26 5/8, since it's IPO on July 25th. Now let's take a look at the IWL in pictures.

[ Scenes from various IWL events are played. House shows with Sash and Willoughby. The IWL's Pay Per View, Excessive Force. The whole title tournament is shown, with Dan Slate coming out the victor. The picture show moves onto to the Heavyweight Title number one contender rumble. Shots of Violent and Sadist are shown, as well as Carnages vicious chokeslam to Sadist, and Gaudet eliminating Carnage. The last scene is of the IWL locker room in one big picture. ]

MB : Wow. As we speak, productions have begun for the follow up Pay Per View, since Excessive Force had the biggest buy rate for an intial Pay Per View from a wrestling federation. You can catch the IWL every Monday night on a television set near you.

[ The television starts buzzing, signaling that the movie is over. The Sadist gets up, normal look on his face. He takes the video tape out of the player, and sets it on his desk. He begins to write something on a piece of paper, and when he is finished, he tapes it onto the cassette, he knocks on Lisa's door, and hands it to her. He walks back over to his desk, picking up yet another tape. The writing on this one is one saying "Business Center with The Sadist". As he wrily grins, he shoves the cassette into the VCR. Lying back on his couch, he begins to watch himself on the widely popular segment on CNBC television. ]

RI : You are watching Business Center this fine Wednesday afternoon. Your hosts as always are Sue Herera and myself, Ron Insana. Our guest this afternoon is a man that comes from a recently successful wrestling promotion known as the Internet Wrestling League. The man we are talking about is The Sadist. Now Sadist, I know you have always been known to take risks in the ring, but we brought you here to talk about your moves outside of the ring. It is widely known throughout the locker rooms and on the streets that you have one of the most diversified and profound portfolios in the entertainment business today. How did you get to know all about stocks?

TS : Let me tell ya something. I'm not going to let any of my secrets out. I looked at past histories, and the current trends going on in the market today, and I was able to build my portfolio upon that. Now I'm worth several million dollars, and that number is growing daily.

SH : If you've got that much money, why is it that you continue to wrestle?

TS : Because I'm greedy. I want as much as I can take. I've got money, but now I want gold and wrestling fame. And thats only a step away. I can guarentee that within the next few months you will see the names of The Sadist and Mikey Violent will be household names. Violent Inc. will be a household name, and the IWL will be at our mercy.

SH : The IWL stock has been doing great as of late. Do you think it was all your doing, or did every one pitch in on that one?

TS : What are you, a f*cking retard?

RI : Dammit, now we can't use this tape. You said the f*ckin F word. One of the seven dirty words. God damn you. Start this segment over.

TS : Hey Insana, f*ck you. This is complete and total bullsh*t. This isn't a live feed, alright? Just delete the f*cking F word, and it would all be OK.

RI : Look here Sadist. You want to scrap for real? None of your fake wrestling crap...

SH : Ron, just calm down. You know you've got heart problems.

RI : Shut up! Come on Sadist, you and me, right no.... [ As Insana is talking, he begins to clutch at his chest, as he tumbles over onto the ground. The Sadist, laughing at the whole incident, stands up and exits the studio. Before the tape cuts off, you can hear something faintly.]

SH : Help! Someone get this man an ambulence! He's had a heart attack! Oh, Ron, please make it through this.

[ The tape ends. As Sadist takes the tape from the VCR, he bends down, and files the tape into his personal collection. One tape remains, and The Sadist ventures to his desk to retrieve it. Entitled "Violent Incorporated on 'Stocks to Watch'". His eyes light up like Christmas lights when he sees this. He grabs the tape, runs it to the VCR, pops it in, and gets back into the chair. Frantically, he searches for the remote because this is the tape he really wants to see. After he finds it, he presses the play button, and sits back, waiting for the magic to happen.]

TM : This is Stocks to Watch. and I am the host of the first half of this segment, Tom Costello. Tonight, I have the distinct pleasure of interviewing a man who may be new to most of you. A man that is running through the world of professional wrestling, the soon to be Television Champion on the Internet Wrestling League, The Sadist. Now, we've all seen what you can do in the ring, and personally, I must say I am a big fan of the way you work. How did you decide to incorporate Violent Inc. into a real life company?

TS : First off Tom, I must say that here at CNBC you are the only reporter I feel is worth an interview. I am thrilled that you are such a big fan. Now, back to your question. How did I, or should I say we, incorporate Violent Inc. into real life. Well, I just began to think of things that rich people need. I thought of houses, fancy cars, and women. But rather than make our money through a ring of prostitution and stolen merchandise, we decided that what every real wealthy person needs is security. Thus, the real life Violent Inc. is born. It started out with a few celeberties enlisting some of our top bodyguards. I believe it was Bill Murray and Lee Tergessen. It grew from there, and now Violent Inc. is doing concerts for the top names in the music business today, and we are still guarding the lives of celeberties. Really odd that the wrestling business, a business that is often joked about, had the ability to produce such a down to earth company. Makes you wonder.

TM : Yes, I see what you mean. Now, I understand you and Mikey Violent make up Violent Inc., How did you two get together?

TS : Well, basically, Mikey brought me into the IWL. It was right before the Pay Per View, and I got my contract. At first, as an attempt to fool everyone, I played it like Violent was my enemy. Not too many people cared, but me and Mikey kicked some behind in that rumble. We eliminated some of the finest, and put on great showings. But Violent Inc. isn't just anymore either; we got a new member by the name of Torch. He's a really great guy, one smart wrestler too.

[ The screen cuts to some clips of Torch in the ring. He is shown practicing moves in the ring, awaiting his IWL debut. After the clips end, a message is shown on the screen. It reads :

Due to time restrains, the rest of The Sadists interview can not be shown today on CNBC. However, next week, we will bring you the whole Violent Inc. wrestling stable into the studio to briefly speak about how their stock made it, but for the most part, speak about their futures in professional wrestling. Our thanks goes out to The Sadist for his understanding.

Right after this message is shown, the television goes to static. Before The Sadist can get up and remove the tape from the VCR, the other segment begins. ]

JK : I'm Joe Kernen, and as promised, we are bringing you our exclusive Violent Inc. interview. I am joined in the studio by Violent Inc. founders Mikey Violent and The Sadist, as well as the newest member of their wrestling squadron, Torch. Now fellas, before we get down to wrestling, I need to ask you how you got your stock to be of such value?

MV : I can answer that pretty easily. Once people saw that our services were needed, they began to buy the stocks. And when people saw that the stocks were going up, they began to buy. Simple as that.

JK : Well, thanks for the obvious. Now down to the wrestling. Mikey, you won the Intercontinental Title this week. How do you plan on giving a title shot to next?

MV : Ah, hell. That kind of stuff doesn't matter to me. They can throw me anyone and I'll beat em. I proved that I'm a threat by beating Silva and Therin this week, next week, well who knows.

JK : Torch, what are your future plans?

TC: Well, right now the commissioner of the IWL is giving me a hard time, so I'm going to be getting at him soon I hope. I have a tag team match with Tempest soon against two mystery opponents. I know we're going to win, but I wish I knew who we were fighting.

JK : Sadist, you have your first shot at gold at the IWL. You face Bryce Conner and Kevin Sash in a ladder match with the Television Title on the line. You must be worried.

TS : Heh. I must be worried. your so full of it. I'm going to beat both of these jacka$$es to bloody pulps, end of story. Now, with that said, Violent Inc. is out of here.

[ The tape abruptly ends. Static fills the speakers, so The Sadist rises to his feet yet again and removes the tape from the VCR. Unimpressed by how it looks, Sadist makes a call to Lisa and tells her to book some time and some sort of talk show to get the real words out. After the call is done, The Sadist sets his sights on the camera nearby, and begins to speak. ]

TS : Yeah, I know what your thinking. We've sold out. We've been in this whole wrestling thing for the last few weeks just as a way to make a little money. And you know what? Your right. I'm a user, and I'm an abuser. The IWL is meaningless to me. With the exception of Violent Inc., there is not a damn person who I think even has the brains to do what we've been doin'. Does this mean I'm out of the IWL? No, as I've explained, I'm a user. I'm going to use this place until I can't use it anymore. There is still so much I have to do here. Like take the Telvision Title. I defeated The Natural last week, with great ease I must add. Now I am the number one contender. But I fail to see how Kevin Sash got into this match at all. He sits on his a$$, and he gets a title shot. He's not a worth opponent, and the only reason he's where he is in the IWL is because he decided to f*ck Jeff Gaudet by running in and costing him the World Title. Needless to say I am not about to break a sweat over him. But Conner, I don't know. All I can say about him is that he's one stupid, contradictory son of a b*tch. After a few weeks of him coming out here and praising me as the smartest man in the IWL, I have grown quite sick of him. I know I'm the smartest, but I don't need some moron like you to keep reassuring me of it. Now, you've complained, saying that my showing of respect for you was me just trying to make you inflict less punishment on me in our match. So what exactly is you telling me that I'm the IWLs smartest man trying to do? Exactly, your buttering me up so that I try to hurt Sash a little more than you. Well, much to your dismay, I think just this once, I'm going to kick the sh*t out of you a little bit more.

[ The camera pans to the door, which Mikey Violent and Torch have just walked through. Violent is dressed in wrestling tights and a KoRn shirt, and Torch is wearing ripped blue jeans, and a half burnt shirt. As they come to The Sadist, he hands them two boxes, and points outside the door. Mikey and Torch have confused looks on their faces, but leave the room, searching for the restrooms to change. As they leave, Sadist turns around looking for the camera. When he finds it... ]

TS : Now where was I? Ah yes. This isn't any normal match. The commissioner and his large cranium have come up with a great way to make this thing a little more interesting. A ladder match. I'll tell you what, I like the way this guy thinks. He's a smart man. Forget Conner, this is the the only guy who deserves respect. Anyone with his ability for match making of this magnitude is one hell of a smart man. But anyway. You've got three world class athletes, one ladder, and atop all the, the Television gold. This match has interesting implications. No one has to be pinned to lose. It's all about luck. If someone trips, or two of the three guys fight with each other, the remaining athlete can just climb to the top of the ladder, and this whole thing is all over. Now granted, I am the IWL's smartest wrestler, but am I the IWL's luckiest wrestler? That remains to be seen, but after this coming Monday, we will all know the answer for sure. What I am going to do to you guys is not going to be pretty at all. I sense that this is going to be very bloody. But I could be wrong. I'm not dealing with wrestlers with the biggest IQs, so they are prone to make dumba$$ mistakes, but that is to be expected from them. We've got Conner telling me that I would be smart to just forget about fighting him. That I should just walk away. You've got to be kidding me. I've worked my ass off to get to this Television Title, and I am not about to turn my back on it at this stage in my career. And I want a piece of you to mount on the wall of my office. Geez, now that I stop to think about it, you just may be a little scared of me. Maybe thats why you are telling me to step out of this match. I don't know for sure, only time will tell.

[ Mikey and Torch walk into the room again. This time, both are donning two piece Armani suits and sunglasses, and their hair is slicked back. The Sadist gets up, moves over to the enterance area, and smiles at what he sees.Handshakes are exchanged all around, and Mikey and Torch begin to examine the new office. ]

MV : I like what you've done with the place. I like it a lot. Almost as much as I like being Intercontinental Champion, which brings me to my Massacre match. I'm defending the Intercontinental gold against Carnage, your old friend Sadist. This guy has been missing since Massacre. Wait, I take that back, Hudson found him a few days back, but he didn't say a word. I guess this guys a mute again. Anyway, in an attempt to make me lose my Intercontinental belt, the commissioner has ordered that all members of Violent Inc. and Hudson, and probably anyone else, have been banned from ringside, and if they do interfere, the will become the commissioners "b*tches" for 30 days. So Torch, Sadist, I think you guys should just stay behind and not try to help me, because you don't want to become this morons b*tch. Carnage, your a big, scary guy, but I've seen bigger and scarier, and while were at it, I've seen more talented. You should be no problem for me at Massacre. After I hit you with the Violent Spin, you'll be back in hiding again, and for the sake of the IWL, hopefully they will not find him. He doesn't have any friends, so just leave the little f*cker to die in the cold where he should be.

TC : I agree. That bastard should suffer big time. As will whomever myself and Tempest fight soon. Dave thinks he's a pretty f*cking funny guy by putting us against two mystery guys. Who they will be, I don't know, he probably doesn't even know yet. He's going to wing it, and hope that someone can defeat us. And on top of it all is the fact that he wants me to put my career on the line. Can the IWL really afford to lose a superstar like Torch? I mean, I lose my career, the IWL could go under. You wouldn't want that Mr. Owner, now would you? Throw your finest at me. Viewer D, Bomb Squad, it simply doesn't matter. But let it be known that I still want to fight you sometime down the road, and if you are the man you say you are, and if you are the Worlds greatest match maker, you will see that this should happen. Dave, sometime your gonna slip up, and I'm gonna be all over your a$$!

MV : Hey Torch, we gotta go. We've got to meet the elderly somewhere I think, if you catch my drift. Sadist, we'll talk to you later.

[ Mikey and Torch leave, exiting out the office door. The Sadist closes it behind them, and begins to pace around his office. The camera is still rolling, and once The Sadist looks at it, he begins to rant again. ]

TS : Name calling. How low can one actually get? I see Conner come out and call my friends idiots. Now why would I waste time trying to retaliate from that? It's pointless, and all that comment did was solidify the fact that Conner is a mullet and is mentally impotent. I like putting my body through pain, haven't I said that enough yet? If you want to put me through your world of pain Monday, I encourage you to do so, and if you don't, all I can say is that I will be disappointed. So you can take me through the pain and punishment, but I would like to guarentee you beforehand that I'm going to laugh it off, and drag your face through my world of pain, which will be ten times more hectic and hellish than your idea of pain. Your title, and your soul belongs to me. It's no doubt in my mind that after Massacre you will not have that belt. It will be secured tightly around my waist. Violent Inc. interfearing should be the least of your worries, because you've got me and Sash in the ring. You think you can take all of us on at once, pal, your in over your head. It's a matter of time before you get a rude awakening into reality and realize that you are nothing more than a sub-par wrestler with minimal talent, and after Massacre your going to be in the unemployment line yet again. Maybe you can become a comedian, after all, your routine of calling Kevin Sash Kevin Nash was quite humorous, even after hearing it seven thousand times before. You can kid yourself all you want by saying that Sash is going to fall hard to you, but the fact of the matter is that Sash is bigger, badder and better than you could ever imagine being. But is he better or badder than me? Hell f*cking no! They don't call me the goddamn Sadist for nothing, alright!?! Sash, your not about to get off that easy. Sure, I may want to hurt Conner a little more, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to hurt you the same too. Just make sure you know that going into the match. No remorse will be given to anyone, man, woman, or child. But since neither of you fit into the later two, except having the intelligenc of small children, you are going to be given an ass kicking ten times more than you have ever recieved before. Now with all the bullshit, I kinda got to get to Massacre, so this whole thing is over, finally. It's been hours since I've gotten here, and frankly, I don't want to sit here any longer, so if you'll excuse me, I gotta get to the airport right now.

[ The Sadist pushes the camera out of the way, picks up his bags, and leaves the office. The cameraman takes one last look out the sunset outside on this wonderful Boston evening before putting his camera to rest for the night. ]

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